"Each day, every man must decide either to shave or not to shave. The act can be one of conformity, rebellion, laziness, or transition."
March 23, 2008 8:23 AM   Subscribe

This year's International Deutsche Beard Championship is just a few short weeks away, which means now is the time to start grooming and perfecting your entry. Here, then, are some potential sources of inspiration. Previously.

Beards not your thing? You can always just go 'stachin at The Handlebar Club, whose qualification for membership is "a hirsute appendage of the upper lip, with graspable extremities ... and in addition, we specify that beards are not allowed."
posted by jbickers (22 comments total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
Well, dang, that's some impressive facial hairage on some of these fellows, no doubt about it.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 9:59 AM on March 23, 2008

It's amazing how sometimes a beard can instantly make a generically attractive white guy look kinda scummy and unattractive (to me).
A beard can also make an intense guy look even more like someone who kills people for fun.

And then there's people like this guy, who just kinda rocks.
posted by miss lynnster at 10:25 AM on March 23, 2008


(It's a bear thing, you wouldn't understand.)
posted by ethnomethodologist at 10:36 AM on March 23, 2008

Handlebar Club? They just sit around talking about their 'staches?
posted by papakwanz at 10:50 AM on March 23, 2008

I've got several months on my chin now. The clerks at the LCBO are rather brusque, especially when I wear my toque. I guess I look... unkempt. But gosh, it's very curly hair. Dunno... must decide every day.
posted by seanmpuckett at 11:11 AM on March 23, 2008

International Deutsche

that sounds odd. it's either international or national...
posted by krautland at 11:17 AM on March 23, 2008

posted by Dizzy at 11:35 AM on March 23, 2008

I nominate this beard.
posted by srboisvert at 11:37 AM on March 23, 2008 [2 favorites]

Are these sportsmen tested for performance enhancing drugs, like Rogaine?
posted by Tube at 11:38 AM on March 23, 2008 [1 favorite]

@miss lynnster it can swing the other way, if a guy is really ugly it can help him to cover up his face.
posted by Eavesy at 11:39 AM on March 23, 2008

I just keep finding more reasons to love ze Germans.

And I like how many of the fabulous facial hair-wearers are also fabulous hat-wearers. It wasn't something I would have expected, but it just makes sense. When you've already committed to an outlandish mustache or beard, why not throw on a French cavalier hat or a boater? I mean, what the hell, eh?
posted by the littlest brussels sprout at 11:44 AM on March 23, 2008

miss l; that guy on your link looks like he just swallowed Kate Pierson of the B-52's.
posted by Dizzy at 11:44 AM on March 23, 2008

krautland: Oh yeah? well... you're an international douche!
posted by papakwanz at 12:14 PM on March 23, 2008

I firmly believe that this beard should be given a federal grant. It is clearly the key to a cleaner and more hopeful tomorrow.
posted by Rhaomi at 1:06 PM on March 23, 2008

You know who else was fond of facial hair?
posted by maxwelton at 3:17 PM on March 23, 2008

This is my 4 months worth of beard. I think it will be worth something for next year's competition, right now I am in the uncanny valley between dirty smelly hobo and distinguished early 20th century mexican intellectual.

It is funny that my wife went from "icky" to "mmmmh, I like how that feels" in less than 1/2" of growth. Size does matter.
posted by Dr. Curare at 4:12 PM on March 23, 2008

I have four things to say here

1. of all the things that MeFi seems to honor annually, this one amuses me the most
2. up here your ability to grow a decent beard is serious survival skill so I think it trumps muscles and/or height as a desireable masculine quality.
3. "all about beards" is 12 years old, wow.
4. is that beards site just for dudes?
posted by jessamyn at 4:24 PM on March 23, 2008

I glanced at the subject and thought it read douche bag at first.....whoops. I was all, "International douche bags?"
posted by Windigo at 4:29 PM on March 23, 2008

My beard grows in really patchy and embarassing, which makes me admire all of the kick-ass beards that win the "full beard natural" category at the worlds.

Someday, Dr. Send.
posted by Dr. Send at 7:07 PM on March 23, 2008

@miss lynnster it can swing the other way, if a guy is really ugly it can help him to cover up his face.

Good point. It's rare but once in a while I find someone does look better with facial hair. Tom Selleck for example.

In the 70s my former brother in law had a giant Grizzly Adams beard. I just remember going out to eat with him and watching him drizzle tomato soup down it. I was a little kid, but I remember watching him and thinking, "As of this moment I don't think I'm a fan of beards."
posted by miss lynnster at 10:21 PM on March 23, 2008

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