Uncle Sam & 911
September 11, 2008 1:48 AM Subscribe
Uncle Sam & 911: "Listen man, I think I have to move on…" (cartoon)
If only!
posted by chuckdarwin at 2:19 AM on September 11, 2008
posted by chuckdarwin at 2:19 AM on September 11, 2008
If we move past the fear of September 11th, 2001, then Rudolph Giuliani will stop receiving his royalty checks and he'll have to go back to cross dressing on SNL. Is that really what you want?
posted by cgomez at 2:22 AM on September 11, 2008 [4 favorites]
posted by cgomez at 2:22 AM on September 11, 2008 [4 favorites]
Ehm.... yes?
posted by DreamerFi at 3:25 AM on September 11, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by DreamerFi at 3:25 AM on September 11, 2008 [1 favorite]
I came from the lameass Palin post ready to jump up this one's ass for being weak too, but I must say that this one melted me and my cold, dead, black heart.
I vote for this one to stay, single-link though it may be.
posted by Senor Cardgage at 3:29 AM on September 11, 2008
I vote for this one to stay, single-link though it may be.
posted by Senor Cardgage at 3:29 AM on September 11, 2008
I'm with Senor Cardgage, both times.
posted by From Bklyn at 4:26 AM on September 11, 2008
posted by From Bklyn at 4:26 AM on September 11, 2008
A breath of fresh air, and very nice. Thanks!
posted by Turtles all the way down at 4:28 AM on September 11, 2008
posted by Turtles all the way down at 4:28 AM on September 11, 2008
It's funny because it's not just topical but actually funny!
posted by Tiresias at 4:54 AM on September 11, 2008
posted by Tiresias at 4:54 AM on September 11, 2008
Yes, please! Hats off if only for finding this ... sure it's a monolink, but one VERY MUCH needed today and until after the first Tuesday in November here in Murka ...
posted by aldus_manutius at 5:28 AM on September 11, 2008
posted by aldus_manutius at 5:28 AM on September 11, 2008
I knew an ending joke was coming, I was sure it wouldn't be funny... and lo, it was!
posted by fungible at 5:45 AM on September 11, 2008
posted by fungible at 5:45 AM on September 11, 2008
If y'know, we could do this calmly and pleasantly, and actually sit down and talk about this, without cartoons and jokes, that would be fantastic. But clearly, we're not there yet. This is funny, and it makes a fantastic point, and it might make people who might otherwise yell about it chuckle instead, which is good.
But damn it, it's not enough. Try having this conversation with any of the people who still support Bush, or who think McCain wasn't crazy for saying we'll stay in Iraq for 100 years if we need to. Time how long until both of you are shouting at the other person.
It's like one of those embarrassing moments where you think, someday, we'll look back at this and laugh. I just don't think, somewhere down the line, the 9/11 obsession is going to make people laugh at how foolish we were. I see a lot of head shaking and wishful thinking.
Still, well done, and not over the top.
posted by Ghidorah at 5:59 AM on September 11, 2008
But damn it, it's not enough. Try having this conversation with any of the people who still support Bush, or who think McCain wasn't crazy for saying we'll stay in Iraq for 100 years if we need to. Time how long until both of you are shouting at the other person.
It's like one of those embarrassing moments where you think, someday, we'll look back at this and laugh. I just don't think, somewhere down the line, the 9/11 obsession is going to make people laugh at how foolish we were. I see a lot of head shaking and wishful thinking.
Still, well done, and not over the top.
posted by Ghidorah at 5:59 AM on September 11, 2008
The strings really touched me even though I knew exactly why they were there. Good stuff.
posted by cavalier at 6:02 AM on September 11, 2008
posted by cavalier at 6:02 AM on September 11, 2008
In 1993, before 9/11, we had an attack on the World Trade Center. It took three years to capture the mastermind. A trial was held and he was convicted. The system worked and justice prevailed. 9/11 changed everything.
posted by dances_with_sneetches at 6:15 AM on September 11, 2008 [4 favorites]
posted by dances_with_sneetches at 6:15 AM on September 11, 2008 [4 favorites]
Before I watched this I was all prepared to come in here and say that arguing that we should ignore or forget about 9/11 is just as offensive as repeatedly invoking it for propoganda effect.
Then I actually watched it. And found I have nothing to disagree with.
posted by pardonyou? at 6:27 AM on September 11, 2008
Then I actually watched it. And found I have nothing to disagree with.
posted by pardonyou? at 6:27 AM on September 11, 2008
If y'know, we could do this calmly and pleasantly, and actually sit down and talk about this, without cartoons and jokes, that would be fantastic. But clearly, we're not there yet. This is funny, and it makes a fantastic point, and it might make people who might otherwise yell about it chuckle instead, which is good.
There's something about cartoons and humor, though, that allows us to address these issues more openly than usual. Almost everyone can get a good joke or funny premise- not everyone gets intelligent discourse. And that's not a failing of our society, schools, or whatever- it's just how some people are wired. I don't think it diminishes the message whatsoever, as we live in a culture that (for the most part) respects comedy as it respects other arts.
posted by maus at 6:31 AM on September 11, 2008 [1 favorite]
There's something about cartoons and humor, though, that allows us to address these issues more openly than usual. Almost everyone can get a good joke or funny premise- not everyone gets intelligent discourse. And that's not a failing of our society, schools, or whatever- it's just how some people are wired. I don't think it diminishes the message whatsoever, as we live in a culture that (for the most part) respects comedy as it respects other arts.
posted by maus at 6:31 AM on September 11, 2008 [1 favorite]
That had the potential to be really crass and a major negative button pusher. In reality it's a lovely, very funny and nuanced cartoon.
posted by Happy Dave at 6:36 AM on September 11, 2008
posted by Happy Dave at 6:36 AM on September 11, 2008
Nice post, thanks.
I vote for this one to stay, single-link though it may be.
There is nothing wrong with single-link posts. Virtually all posts used to be single-link, and the belief that there's something bad about that has led to a proliferation of pointlessly padded posts. Please stop thinking this way. You're hurting MetaFilter.
posted by languagehat at 6:36 AM on September 11, 2008 [12 favorites]
I vote for this one to stay, single-link though it may be.
There is nothing wrong with single-link posts. Virtually all posts used to be single-link, and the belief that there's something bad about that has led to a proliferation of pointlessly padded posts. Please stop thinking this way. You're hurting MetaFilter.
posted by languagehat at 6:36 AM on September 11, 2008 [12 favorites]
NSFW for residents of the known galaxy (they used the word B*lgium at the end!)
posted by ericbop at 6:47 AM on September 11, 2008
posted by ericbop at 6:47 AM on September 11, 2008
Oh 9/11, I could never quit you.
posted by blue_beetle at 6:55 AM on September 11, 2008
posted by blue_beetle at 6:55 AM on September 11, 2008
Also make sure they notice there's a decrepit-looking Commodore 64 stalking through the opening with a cane and a beard, because that's kind of crucial.
posted by Wolfdog at 7:00 AM on September 11, 2008
posted by Wolfdog at 7:00 AM on September 11, 2008
Also make sure they notice there's a decrepit-looking Commodore 64 stalking through the opening with a cane and a beard, because that's kind of crucial.
From this.
posted by Happy Dave at 7:11 AM on September 11, 2008 [1 favorite]
From this.
posted by Happy Dave at 7:11 AM on September 11, 2008 [1 favorite]
In honor of this FPP, FREE MEDIUM FRIES.
posted by Kinbote at 7:18 AM on September 11, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by Kinbote at 7:18 AM on September 11, 2008 [1 favorite]
There is nothing wrong with single-link posts.
I agree. I prefer them. Too many links makes me want to skip the whole thing.
posted by Liquidwolf at 7:30 AM on September 11, 2008
I agree. I prefer them. Too many links makes me want to skip the whole thing.
posted by Liquidwolf at 7:30 AM on September 11, 2008
great video piece. It could have been just all yucks and digs at the resulting paranoia (and i still woulda loved it), but it seems there's some sincerity and optimism behind it, too. I think I can still find some optimism too, if I dig deep enough.
Time to move along. Sorry, Rudy.
posted by Artful Codger at 7:54 AM on September 11, 2008
Time to move along. Sorry, Rudy.
posted by Artful Codger at 7:54 AM on September 11, 2008
Brilliant. I was honestly kinda hoping for a cold-hearted callous snark-fest. But this was way, way better. Thanks for posting it.
posted by piedmont at 8:01 AM on September 11, 2008
posted by piedmont at 8:01 AM on September 11, 2008
Lovely. I'm looking forward to the first 9/11-Day Sale myself. Only then can you say that "America" has moved on.
posted by longdaysjourney at 8:47 AM on September 11, 2008
posted by longdaysjourney at 8:47 AM on September 11, 2008
"morning in america"? ... now where did i hear that before?
posted by pyramid termite at 8:49 AM on September 11, 2008
posted by pyramid termite at 8:49 AM on September 11, 2008
Cheney Waits Until Last Minute Again To Buy Sept. 11 Gifts
posted by homunculus at 9:07 AM on September 11, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by homunculus at 9:07 AM on September 11, 2008 [1 favorite]
Lovely. I'm looking forward to the first 9/11-Day Sale myself.
That'd be a white sale, I guess. No, uh, towels, though. Sends the wrong message.
*ducks*
posted by gompa at 9:49 AM on September 11, 2008
That'd be a white sale, I guess. No, uh, towels, though. Sends the wrong message.
*ducks*
posted by gompa at 9:49 AM on September 11, 2008
Could have done without the string crescendo, but on the whole I enjoyed this. Thanks.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 9:50 AM on September 11, 2008
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 9:50 AM on September 11, 2008
The only thing that could have made it better is if they gave 9/11 that old Rudy Giuliani combover.
Can we get a President that talks sense like Uncle Sam?
posted by any major dude at 10:05 AM on September 11, 2008
Can we get a President that talks sense like Uncle Sam?
posted by any major dude at 10:05 AM on September 11, 2008
oh homunculus, Sept 11 gifts, that is so bad, lol.
That cartoon is gently appealing. I do like that moving beyond 9/11 is being discussed.
posted by nickyskye at 10:18 AM on September 11, 2008
That cartoon is gently appealing. I do like that moving beyond 9/11 is being discussed.
posted by nickyskye at 10:18 AM on September 11, 2008
The echoes of Hannity's much pilloried phrase (by Colbert) about "the best greatest country on the face of this planet..." in the dialogue means I probably won't send this on to British friends.
But that's just an outsider's caveat. I agree it has a gentle and rather subtle appeal, intended specifically for a US-centric audience.
posted by Jody Tresidder at 10:36 AM on September 11, 2008
But that's just an outsider's caveat. I agree it has a gentle and rather subtle appeal, intended specifically for a US-centric audience.
posted by Jody Tresidder at 10:36 AM on September 11, 2008
Thanks for the link Happy Dave. Having never heard of current.com before, these are the 2 funniest cartoons I've seen a long time.
posted by originalname37 at 11:26 AM on September 11, 2008
posted by originalname37 at 11:26 AM on September 11, 2008
(Just a note: in case "current.com" is so famous that the previous sounds sarcastic, it's not meant to be.)
posted by originalname37 at 11:28 AM on September 11, 2008
posted by originalname37 at 11:28 AM on September 11, 2008
I like the sentiment but it felt kind of preachy in a sappy way. It reminded me of watching those Davey and Goliath claymation shows when I was a kid; you'd think you were just watching a cool plasticine show and then at the end you realized that you'd been conned when they stuck in all this God stuff, some lesson from the Bible.
"the best greatest country on the face of this planet..." in the dialogue means I probably won't send this on to British friends.
Ya, that's the first thing that struck me. I'd say ditching the whole "greatest country in the world" thing would be Step One in "moving on," since that's kind of the root of many of the USA's problems, no?
posted by chococat at 11:38 AM on September 11, 2008 [1 favorite]
"the best greatest country on the face of this planet..." in the dialogue means I probably won't send this on to British friends.
Ya, that's the first thing that struck me. I'd say ditching the whole "greatest country in the world" thing would be Step One in "moving on," since that's kind of the root of many of the USA's problems, no?
posted by chococat at 11:38 AM on September 11, 2008 [1 favorite]
Well done.
posted by notashroom at 12:17 PM on September 11, 2008
posted by notashroom at 12:17 PM on September 11, 2008
"If you're going to tell the truth, be funny or they'll kill you." - Billy Wilder
posted by lysdexic at 2:16 PM on September 11, 2008
posted by lysdexic at 2:16 PM on September 11, 2008
Someone needs to revive Schoolhouse Rock for things like this.
posted by rokusan at 2:18 PM on September 11, 2008
posted by rokusan at 2:18 PM on September 11, 2008
(I nominate They Might be Giants, for the record.)
posted by rokusan at 2:18 PM on September 11, 2008 [2 favorites]
posted by rokusan at 2:18 PM on September 11, 2008 [2 favorites]
Needs more computer-generated cowbell.
posted by oncogenesis at 2:25 PM on September 11, 2008
posted by oncogenesis at 2:25 PM on September 11, 2008
Nothing substantive to add but BLBOOOBLAHBOBAH 9/11... um, boo.
loved it.
posted by ZakDaddy at 2:45 PM on September 11, 2008 [1 favorite]
loved it.
posted by ZakDaddy at 2:45 PM on September 11, 2008 [1 favorite]
Ya, that's the first thing that struck me. I'd say ditching the whole "greatest country in the world" thing would be Step One in "moving on," since that's kind of the root of many of the USA's problems, no?
Not to get excessively patriotic here, but no, that's not the root of many of the USA's problems. The root of most of our problems is how we've let ourselves get hijacked by a conservative oligarchy who have driven us into a metaphorical swamp. If and when we can escape from said swamp and return to a path that will allow us to fulfill the American dream and the American spirit (justice and equality for all, and all that stuff guaranteed by our Constitution), we'll be well on our way to once again being the greatest country in the world.
It's a big if, though, and if we don't manage, if we can't return to that American promise, we'll likely end up becoming the worst country in the world, and that won't go well for anyone. It was that promise that allowed us to reach the heights we did, and deviating from that promise that has driven us to where we are.
posted by Caduceus at 3:05 PM on September 11, 2008
Not to get excessively patriotic here, but no, that's not the root of many of the USA's problems. The root of most of our problems is how we've let ourselves get hijacked by a conservative oligarchy who have driven us into a metaphorical swamp. If and when we can escape from said swamp and return to a path that will allow us to fulfill the American dream and the American spirit (justice and equality for all, and all that stuff guaranteed by our Constitution), we'll be well on our way to once again being the greatest country in the world.
It's a big if, though, and if we don't manage, if we can't return to that American promise, we'll likely end up becoming the worst country in the world, and that won't go well for anyone. It was that promise that allowed us to reach the heights we did, and deviating from that promise that has driven us to where we are.
posted by Caduceus at 3:05 PM on September 11, 2008
Caduceus, you seem to be missing the point that the rest of the world isn't thrilled when they hear us talk about being "the greatest country in the world." I personally think being a decent country is a more reasonable goal about now.
posted by languagehat at 3:18 PM on September 11, 2008 [2 favorites]
posted by languagehat at 3:18 PM on September 11, 2008 [2 favorites]
Lewis Black: "I was amazed to realize that we are the only country that tells the rest of the world, on a nearly constant basis, that we are the greatest country on earth. And that is a little fucking obnoxious."
posted by good in a vacuum at 6:35 PM on September 11, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by good in a vacuum at 6:35 PM on September 11, 2008 [1 favorite]
Great explanation of what America needs to do.
Sadly, because it explicitly states the talking points of the Left (Iraq war etc) the Righties that need to listen to this will tune off and not take its point seriously.
Without that - it would have been perfect. As it is, it's just great :)
posted by AzzaMcKazza at 7:41 PM on September 11, 2008
Sadly, because it explicitly states the talking points of the Left (Iraq war etc) the Righties that need to listen to this will tune off and not take its point seriously.
Without that - it would have been perfect. As it is, it's just great :)
posted by AzzaMcKazza at 7:41 PM on September 11, 2008
and America does need to stop stop saying it's the best country in the world because it pisses everyone else off (especially us here in Australia -which is the best country in the world :) )
You can't declare yourself the best at anything! Yuo can say you're good - but not the best. Everyone else (in the room, country, or planet) gets to decide that. Period. Otherwise - you could declare yourself the best at anything!
one last thing - If you vote McCain and Palin in this election I guarantee the world will compeltely lose interest in America. you will be well and truly on your own.
If this happens I think all Lefties should make tracks to move to Australia. It's obvious your country doesn't love you.
posted by AzzaMcKazza at 7:46 PM on September 11, 2008 [2 favorites]
You can't declare yourself the best at anything! Yuo can say you're good - but not the best. Everyone else (in the room, country, or planet) gets to decide that. Period. Otherwise - you could declare yourself the best at anything!
one last thing - If you vote McCain and Palin in this election I guarantee the world will compeltely lose interest in America. you will be well and truly on your own.
If this happens I think all Lefties should make tracks to move to Australia. It's obvious your country doesn't love you.
posted by AzzaMcKazza at 7:46 PM on September 11, 2008 [2 favorites]
the rest of the world isn't thrilled when they hear us talk about being "the greatest country in the world."
Yeah well we are often not thrilled at them being such lackluster countries that we have to shoulder the responsibility of being the greatest country in the world, but you don't hear us complaining.
As I said when people complained about Obama saying something similar:
Even if you were to elect a black man to whatever your country's equivalent of a president is (what is that? King?) then you still won't be our equal. Because no matter how crappy we have been in the last 20 or so years, everything you will ever do in your country, you owe every bit of it to the United States of America. Sorry, but its a fact. So unless your country invents a time machine and goes back in time to 1776 and overthrows the most powerful country in the world and invents the modern democracy, you can just listen to us talk about how we are exceptional and smile and nod. Cause we've earned it.
But your country isn't going to invent the time machine is it? It might come along later and make it smaller and faster and more efficient, it might build it for cheaper, it may even come to light that the technology that it was based on was developed there, but you know for a fact, deep down in your cold shriveled-up old world heart, that when the first time machine goes back in time, and the first time traveler plants a flag right in baby Hitler's ass, that that flag is going to be red white and blue.
posted by ND¢ at 7:52 PM on September 11, 2008 [2 favorites]
Yeah well we are often not thrilled at them being such lackluster countries that we have to shoulder the responsibility of being the greatest country in the world, but you don't hear us complaining.
As I said when people complained about Obama saying something similar:
Even if you were to elect a black man to whatever your country's equivalent of a president is (what is that? King?) then you still won't be our equal. Because no matter how crappy we have been in the last 20 or so years, everything you will ever do in your country, you owe every bit of it to the United States of America. Sorry, but its a fact. So unless your country invents a time machine and goes back in time to 1776 and overthrows the most powerful country in the world and invents the modern democracy, you can just listen to us talk about how we are exceptional and smile and nod. Cause we've earned it.
But your country isn't going to invent the time machine is it? It might come along later and make it smaller and faster and more efficient, it might build it for cheaper, it may even come to light that the technology that it was based on was developed there, but you know for a fact, deep down in your cold shriveled-up old world heart, that when the first time machine goes back in time, and the first time traveler plants a flag right in baby Hitler's ass, that that flag is going to be red white and blue.
posted by ND¢ at 7:52 PM on September 11, 2008 [2 favorites]
I barged into a 9-11 thread at another website today and told evryone to get over it and now they all hate me. I should have just posted this cartoon.
posted by LarryC at 8:12 PM on September 11, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by LarryC at 8:12 PM on September 11, 2008 [1 favorite]
The "greatest country in the world" thing would be just spiffy if we meant it as in, we were like the shining beacon of justice and personal freedom, social consciousness and the like. Unfortunately, while we have a history of reaching for, but not always getting the brass ring, it's like we've just stopped trying.
posted by Kid Charlemagne at 11:40 PM on September 11, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by Kid Charlemagne at 11:40 PM on September 11, 2008 [1 favorite]
Blind Patriotism freaks me out.
So no, ND¢, right now America is at a low ebb and ignore that at your/our peril.
Bush has been torturing people in our name, and we have let it happen. Fine, if you live deep in the bosom of North America and never have to hear or interact with the other five and a half billion people that might not be such a strong reality, but I'm not.
Bush has fucked America in ways that are maybe as revolutionary as when my/our x-times-great grandfathers decided to tell King George where to put it. Step outside the Media Bubble that coddles the American psyche, try to wrap your brain around how deep in financial debt we are to China/Russia/Dubai,Saudi,UAE and hopefully you'll see that though the intention behind the constitution and it's writing was a moment of genius, the way it has been distorted in the past few decades needs to be addressed.
posted by From Bklyn at 12:23 AM on September 12, 2008 [1 favorite]
So no, ND¢, right now America is at a low ebb and ignore that at your/our peril.
Bush has been torturing people in our name, and we have let it happen. Fine, if you live deep in the bosom of North America and never have to hear or interact with the other five and a half billion people that might not be such a strong reality, but I'm not.
Bush has fucked America in ways that are maybe as revolutionary as when my/our x-times-great grandfathers decided to tell King George where to put it. Step outside the Media Bubble that coddles the American psyche, try to wrap your brain around how deep in financial debt we are to China/Russia/Dubai,Saudi,UAE and hopefully you'll see that though the intention behind the constitution and it's writing was a moment of genius, the way it has been distorted in the past few decades needs to be addressed.
posted by From Bklyn at 12:23 AM on September 12, 2008 [1 favorite]
Because no matter how crappy we have been in the last 20 or so years, everything you will ever do in your country, you owe every bit of it to the United States of America. Sorry, but its a fact. So unless your country invents a time machine and goes back in time to 1776 and overthrows the most powerful country in the world and invents the modern democracy, you can just listen to us talk about how we are exceptional and smile and nod. Cause we've earned it.
What a load of festering horseshit. You act like the American Revolution was a really clear-cut affair. If it weren't for France's help, America wouldn't even exist. England was also having a war with this little fella called Napoleon at the time... and they decided to quit throwing good money after bad (on keeping America as a colony).
So, maybe you should be singing France's praises... come on, tough guy. You know La Marseillaise, right?
Here, I'll translate it for you.
Let's go children of the fatherland,
The day of glory has arrived!
Against us tyranny's
Bloody flag is raised! (repeat)
In the countryside, do you hear
The roaring of these fierce soldiers?
They come right to our arms
To slit the throats of our sons, our friends!
Grab your weapons, citizens!
Form your batallions!
Let us march! Let us march!
May impure blood
Water our fields!
This horde of slaves, traitors, plotting kings,
What do they want?
For whom these vile shackles,
These long-prepared irons? (repeat)
Frenchmen, for us, oh! what an insult!
What emotions that must excite!
It is us that they dare to consider
Returning to ancient slavery!
What! These foreign troops
Would make laws in our home!
What! These mercenary phalanxes
Would bring down our proud warriors! (repeat)
Good Lord! By chained hands
Our brows would bend beneath the yoke!
Vile despots would become
The masters of our fate!
Tremble, tyrants! and you, traitors,
The disgrace of all groups,
Tremble! Your parricidal plans
Will finally pay the price! (repeat)
Everyone is a soldier to fight you,
If they fall, our young heros,
France will make more,
Ready to battle you!
Frenchmen, as magnanimous warriors,
Bear or hold back your blows!
Spare these sad victims,
Regretfully arming against us. (repeat)
But not these bloodthirsty despots,
But not these accomplices of Bouillé,
All of these animals who, without pity,
Tear their mother's breast to pieces!
Sacred love of France,
Lead, support our avenging arms!
Liberty, beloved Liberty,
Fight with your defenders! (repeat)
Under our flags, let victory
Hasten to your manly tones!
May your dying enemies
See your triumph and our glory!
We will enter the pit
When our elders are no longer there;
There, we will find their dust
And the traces of their virtues. (repeat)
Much less eager to outlive them
Than to share their casket,
We will have the sublime pride
Of avenging them or following them!
Pretty gruesome lyrics, eh?
Anyway, no one - NO ONE - in the world in 1776 had any idea that America was ever going to be anything more than a Colonial backwater. No one knew how big it was, it was a pretty hostile environment, it was hard to get to, etc. There is a lot to be proud of (as an American), to be sure, but please lighten up on the whole 'world's greatest country' thing. Mr Black is correct, it's really, really fucking obnoxious.
p.s. If America was still on top, the LHC would have been built there. Stem cell research would be happening there. The dollar would be worth more than the euro. Etc, etc. All this USA! USA! shit is tired. Kind of like that scene in Boogie Nights when Mark Wahlberg can't get it up anymore.
posted by chuckdarwin at 2:42 AM on September 12, 2008
What a load of festering horseshit. You act like the American Revolution was a really clear-cut affair. If it weren't for France's help, America wouldn't even exist. England was also having a war with this little fella called Napoleon at the time... and they decided to quit throwing good money after bad (on keeping America as a colony).
So, maybe you should be singing France's praises... come on, tough guy. You know La Marseillaise, right?
Here, I'll translate it for you.
Let's go children of the fatherland,
The day of glory has arrived!
Against us tyranny's
Bloody flag is raised! (repeat)
In the countryside, do you hear
The roaring of these fierce soldiers?
They come right to our arms
To slit the throats of our sons, our friends!
Grab your weapons, citizens!
Form your batallions!
Let us march! Let us march!
May impure blood
Water our fields!
This horde of slaves, traitors, plotting kings,
What do they want?
For whom these vile shackles,
These long-prepared irons? (repeat)
Frenchmen, for us, oh! what an insult!
What emotions that must excite!
It is us that they dare to consider
Returning to ancient slavery!
What! These foreign troops
Would make laws in our home!
What! These mercenary phalanxes
Would bring down our proud warriors! (repeat)
Good Lord! By chained hands
Our brows would bend beneath the yoke!
Vile despots would become
The masters of our fate!
Tremble, tyrants! and you, traitors,
The disgrace of all groups,
Tremble! Your parricidal plans
Will finally pay the price! (repeat)
Everyone is a soldier to fight you,
If they fall, our young heros,
France will make more,
Ready to battle you!
Frenchmen, as magnanimous warriors,
Bear or hold back your blows!
Spare these sad victims,
Regretfully arming against us. (repeat)
But not these bloodthirsty despots,
But not these accomplices of Bouillé,
All of these animals who, without pity,
Tear their mother's breast to pieces!
Sacred love of France,
Lead, support our avenging arms!
Liberty, beloved Liberty,
Fight with your defenders! (repeat)
Under our flags, let victory
Hasten to your manly tones!
May your dying enemies
See your triumph and our glory!
We will enter the pit
When our elders are no longer there;
There, we will find their dust
And the traces of their virtues. (repeat)
Much less eager to outlive them
Than to share their casket,
We will have the sublime pride
Of avenging them or following them!
Pretty gruesome lyrics, eh?
Anyway, no one - NO ONE - in the world in 1776 had any idea that America was ever going to be anything more than a Colonial backwater. No one knew how big it was, it was a pretty hostile environment, it was hard to get to, etc. There is a lot to be proud of (as an American), to be sure, but please lighten up on the whole 'world's greatest country' thing. Mr Black is correct, it's really, really fucking obnoxious.
p.s. If America was still on top, the LHC would have been built there. Stem cell research would be happening there. The dollar would be worth more than the euro. Etc, etc. All this USA! USA! shit is tired. Kind of like that scene in Boogie Nights when Mark Wahlberg can't get it up anymore.
posted by chuckdarwin at 2:42 AM on September 12, 2008
Regret to inform that England was at war with Napoleon during the War of 1812, not the American Revolution.
posted by kirkaracha at 6:43 AM on September 12, 2008
posted by kirkaracha at 6:43 AM on September 12, 2008
What did you say? I wasn't listening. I was too busy thinking about how America gave the world Star Wars, Star Trek and The Simpsons.
But ND¢ we made that movie about that guy playing chess with Death.
Yeah I saw that and it was fucking boring! The only thing good about that was when Bill and Ted parodied it in Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey, which, while vastly inferior to the original, was still better than any movie ever made in a country that is not America.
posted by ND¢ at 6:45 AM on September 12, 2008
But ND¢ we made that movie about that guy playing chess with Death.
Yeah I saw that and it was fucking boring! The only thing good about that was when Bill and Ted parodied it in Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey, which, while vastly inferior to the original, was still better than any movie ever made in a country that is not America.
posted by ND¢ at 6:45 AM on September 12, 2008
kirkaracha, I stand corrected! Britain was fighting with France but the Consulate was in charge. Apologies. My point stands: America increasingly became an expensive distraction.
ND¢, you're taking the piss, right? Kubrick stopped making films in America in 1962!
posted by chuckdarwin at 7:35 AM on September 12, 2008
ND¢, you're taking the piss, right? Kubrick stopped making films in America in 1962!
posted by chuckdarwin at 7:35 AM on September 12, 2008
ND¢, yes, we gave the world Star Wars, Star Trek, and the Simpsons. Even the Godfather. But, uh, since then? Not to say that there aren't still fantastic movies out there, being made right now, by Americans, but if you're going to argue that America is still the most best everything, and has in no way declined, perhaps you should use examples that are under 20-30 years old.
As for the Simpsons, please don't tell me you believe the new episodes have anything on seasons 4 and 5.
Aside from that, yeah, it's tiresome dealing with people who claim that it's all USA! USA!, We're number one, and all that, when most folks shouting that to the heavens have never been outside the country. Mexico, drunk on cheap tequila on Spring Break doesn't cut it. It's like claiming that the Chinese restaurant in your neighborhood (where you have to ask for chopsticks, and that has sweet and sour sauce in those red ketchup bottles) the one that has great lemon chicken, General Tso's chicken, Mongolian beef, and fantastic egg foo yung, dude, that's the best Chinese restaurant in the WORLD!
posted by Ghidorah at 8:32 AM on September 12, 2008 [1 favorite]
As for the Simpsons, please don't tell me you believe the new episodes have anything on seasons 4 and 5.
Aside from that, yeah, it's tiresome dealing with people who claim that it's all USA! USA!, We're number one, and all that, when most folks shouting that to the heavens have never been outside the country. Mexico, drunk on cheap tequila on Spring Break doesn't cut it. It's like claiming that the Chinese restaurant in your neighborhood (where you have to ask for chopsticks, and that has sweet and sour sauce in those red ketchup bottles) the one that has great lemon chicken, General Tso's chicken, Mongolian beef, and fantastic egg foo yung, dude, that's the best Chinese restaurant in the WORLD!
posted by Ghidorah at 8:32 AM on September 12, 2008 [1 favorite]
Pretty gruesome lyrics, eh?
they've got to boost their morale somehow after surrendering - but seriously, i think you forgot what happened next - the french proceeded to act out the verses of that bloody song with their own people, many of them vendee peasants, then gave up their liberty, equality and fraternity to a melagomaniac who turned most of europe into another bloody battlefield for years
oh, and then they surrendered and reinstated the bourbon monarchy they have revolted against
now there's an example for the world to follow
NO ONE - in the world in 1776 had any idea that America was ever going to be anything more than a Colonial backwater.
"For we must consider that we shall be as a city upon a hill. The eyes of all people are upon us. So that if we shall deal falsely with our God in this work we have undertaken… we shall be made a story and a by-word throughout the world."
-- john winthrop, 1630
posted by pyramid termite at 9:20 AM on September 12, 2008
they've got to boost their morale somehow after surrendering - but seriously, i think you forgot what happened next - the french proceeded to act out the verses of that bloody song with their own people, many of them vendee peasants, then gave up their liberty, equality and fraternity to a melagomaniac who turned most of europe into another bloody battlefield for years
oh, and then they surrendered and reinstated the bourbon monarchy they have revolted against
now there's an example for the world to follow
NO ONE - in the world in 1776 had any idea that America was ever going to be anything more than a Colonial backwater.
"For we must consider that we shall be as a city upon a hill. The eyes of all people are upon us. So that if we shall deal falsely with our God in this work we have undertaken… we shall be made a story and a by-word throughout the world."
-- john winthrop, 1630
posted by pyramid termite at 9:20 AM on September 12, 2008
now there's an example for the world to follow
You're circling around my argument. How does that have any bearing on America's tarnished "WE'RE #1" trophy?
posted by chuckdarwin at 5:20 PM on September 12, 2008
You're circling around my argument. How does that have any bearing on America's tarnished "WE'RE #1" trophy?
posted by chuckdarwin at 5:20 PM on September 12, 2008
You're circling around my argument.
you didn't have your facts straight so you didn't have an argument
posted by pyramid termite at 10:13 PM on September 12, 2008
you didn't have your facts straight so you didn't have an argument
posted by pyramid termite at 10:13 PM on September 12, 2008
Rubbish. My argument is that America is not and has not been #1 at anything (especially not occupations or ethics) for a very long time.
posted by chuckdarwin at 2:14 AM on September 13, 2008
posted by chuckdarwin at 2:14 AM on September 13, 2008
See, nobody believes ND-Cent is being sarcastic because they are American.
Which is kind of ironic.
It's Like raaaaaaaaaain
posted by fullerine at 3:21 AM on September 13, 2008
Which is kind of ironic.
It's Like raaaaaaaaaain
posted by fullerine at 3:21 AM on September 13, 2008
« Older personal virtues | Do you believe in me? Newer »
This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments
posted by Malor at 1:57 AM on September 11, 2008