I'll be giving $50 to some Metafilter user
May 17, 2001 8:40 AM   Subscribe

I'll be giving $50 to some Metafilter user (or group of users). The winner will be the person who links to the item that I consider to be "coolest." I set the bar here: in order to win, your item must be at least as cool as this, otherwise, I will declare myself the winner.

Aside from the increased size of the prize (the result of a few users who chipped in to the collection I took up), all other rules are identical to those of last year's Metafilter $30 Giveaway.

I will make my decision at 5 pm Friday, Chicago time.
posted by jbushnell (122 comments total) 3 users marked this as a favorite

Aww yeah, baby! Here's one for all of you Mexican Wrestling fans (you know, all two of you).

Also, the necessary matching El Santo Action Figure.
posted by Avogadro at 8:45 AM on May 17, 2001

I think that I would like to have the jazz band alarm clock, although really, anything from McPhee would be just fine & dandy.
posted by zempf at 8:53 AM on May 17, 2001

Been saving this one: An Atlas of Cyberspaces. Personal favorites include Domain name registration in San Francisco and Arpanet in 1977. (Those last two are big gifs.)
posted by gleuschk at 8:56 AM on May 17, 2001

This link is cool is some weird kind of way. Nothing like a website devoted to Asian students getting plastered.
posted by Stretch at 9:09 AM on May 17, 2001

Ah, Stretch, you gotta link to something concrete that's worth $50 or less so that you could potentially win it (though I could see how you could have interpreted "cool thing" to mean "cool link").
posted by Avogadro at 9:11 AM on May 17, 2001

I desperately want some Coffee Boss, based solely on Mr. Coffee Boss' noble visage, but it doesn't seem to be available on the internet. On the other hand, Pocari Sweat is, and if I didn't like it I could wash the taste out of my mouth with a delicious, sugar-laden Dublin, TX, Dr Pepper, which the good people of Dublin still make using cane sugar instead of corn syrup.
posted by snarkout at 9:24 AM on May 17, 2001

This camera will most certainly revitalize the porn industry. Would be most cool to own one.
posted by aladfar at 9:24 AM on May 17, 2001

Currently a fine selection of great products at the Fartmart; give me 50 bucks and I will let you pull my finger as often as you please!
posted by mackieb at 9:25 AM on May 17, 2001

I think this contesdt stinks.
posted by DragonBoy at 9:27 AM on May 17, 2001

Jesus Sports Statues. Christ is our Coach! (from PCJM)
posted by jkottke at 9:35 AM on May 17, 2001

Okay so does this mean all links today should go here? I feel kinda weird now posting a link to the front page cuz it would push the "contest giveaway" announcement down the list. I don't necessarily want to participate in this giveaway. It's not that I don't think this a good idea -- I do. In fact I wish people could volunteer to do stuff like this more often for MeFi. I think it's cool. It's just that the link I just found isn't exactly what I'd personally classify as cool. It's not timely. It potentially would bring up a dated and weary subject which some people won't appreciate. In fact the topic is so dated and weary and potentially caustic that I feel it requires its own thread so it won't bleed over into someone else's conversation. Those who want to talk about it could talk about it over there and those who want to ignore it could do that too.

I'd call the link I have in mind... neat, but not cool. So can I post it on the front page or do I have to post it here?
posted by ZachsMind at 9:39 AM on May 17, 2001

I went looking for the coolest thing but I'm afraid what I found can't be purchased for less than $50.00.

I did have a question regarding the rules. Are there any strings attached?
posted by Dick Paris at 9:40 AM on May 17, 2001

Behold: The coolest place ever.
posted by bondcliff at 9:43 AM on May 17, 2001

From last year's contest:

I will buy one lucky Metafilter user something off of the Web of a ($50) value or less

To enter: add a comment to this post. The comment must link to the thing you want and provides a bit of contextualizing commentary. (I'd prefer it if the link pointed to something that has at least a semi-permanent home on the Web, no eBay please.) I will choose and announce a winner... This winner will be chosen based on a single criteria -- "coolness."

Post to a "thing you want".
posted by Avogadro at 9:45 AM on May 17, 2001

Uhm... Well Bondcliff seems to have beaten me to it so I'm sorry if I bothered anybody. I'll just go post it. It's really just kinda neat. It's not cool.
posted by ZachsMind at 9:46 AM on May 17, 2001

Jesus Sports Statues. Christ is our Coach! (from PCJM)

What Would Jesus Do? If the soccer-playing Jesus is any indication, he'd throw a nasty elbow. I'm glad to have the question answered.
posted by MarkAnd at 9:46 AM on May 17, 2001

(Can we please stay on topic here?)
posted by rodii at 9:47 AM on May 17, 2001

Surf or snowboard on the street.
posted by 120degrees at 9:48 AM on May 17, 2001

Surf or snowboard on the street.

very cool, but you'll be getting two packages of replacement wheels or something. $50, people. And please try to stay with the program. It's getting very drifty in here.
posted by iceberg273 at 9:50 AM on May 17, 2001

I had first thought I'd post a Drinky Crow t-shirt, but none of them had his trademark "Dook! Dook! Dook!" guzzling, so I'm opting for the Sock Monkey Zippo.
posted by Skot at 9:51 AM on May 17, 2001

what if the first one isn't even considered cool at all?

screw this, hand me that hand-held Atari 2600. that beats everything, hands down.
posted by jcterminal at 9:52 AM on May 17, 2001

Sorry about that first post....too cool not to link though. Then how about this?

"Fill with water, freeze for a day and abracadabra - ice shot glasses!".
posted by 120degrees at 9:57 AM on May 17, 2001

Wouldn't really want this for myself - but still a cool idea for your favorite frenemy.
posted by TheChump at 10:06 AM on May 17, 2001

Disposable chopsticks are bad for the environment, and furthermore tend to splinter and split. These compact birchwood and stainless steel chopsticks weigh only an ounce, and mean I'd never have to use disposable sticks or forks again. (They're especially appropriate for use in the dark future, when buying noodles from a guttertalk-speaking street vendor.)
posted by redfoxtail at 10:13 AM on May 17, 2001

Are you sure you're asking the right people? You might find more success if you just asked the Internet Oracle.
posted by Dzolali at 10:14 AM on May 17, 2001

Paul Schrader's 1985 biopic of Yukio Mishima is being released on DVD this August.
posted by xiffix at 10:14 AM on May 17, 2001

I can't play it, it'd probably cost a bazillion dollars, but you could subsidize a down payment. I promise never to leave my new bazantar in a cab.
posted by Mo Nickels at 10:21 AM on May 17, 2001

That's the spirit, 120degrees! I just didn't want you to be disappointed later. (Of course, now I want to surf down my street. But I lack coordination and $200).

Here's what I want, complete with proposed use:

I want five (4) Climb@Tron LASAR Robots. Why four? Well, I plan on making them walk across the ceiling of my apartment at night. One robot walking across the ceiling is cool, a line of four robots is astounding. Maybe I will make a movie, the tagline of which would be "Suction cup traction means space-walking ACTION!".

I want two (2) in Magnesium Blue and two (2) in Graphite Gray.

I want, I want, I want, I want!
posted by iceberg273 at 10:28 AM on May 17, 2001

I hate to do this to you, iceberg, but 4 * $12.95 = $51.80. Would three be enough?
posted by redfoxtail at 10:31 AM on May 17, 2001

I've been lusting for the Police boxed set ever since I gave mine away years ago to a friend for her birthday. It may not be as cool as what other people have posted, and it's $3.07 over the $50 limit (unless bought used for $35), but it's what I've been casually lusting after for a while now...

posted by memeatron at 10:32 AM on May 17, 2001

Get either the Kozmo polo shirt or a $55 portable MP3 CD player
posted by riffola at 10:32 AM on May 17, 2001

Jason beat me to the figurine where Jesus is playing sports with children and hogging the ball, so I'd like a Mr. Suicide Bath Plug, preferably in dark blue.
posted by rcade at 10:38 AM on May 17, 2001

I hate to do this to you, iceberg, but 4 * $12.95 = $51.80. Would three be enough?

AAAAAAHHHHHHH! Thanks for noticing, redfoxtail! It must be the math textbook that I had as a child. Three will be fine. Make 'em all Magnesium Blue!

(Could you buy the separately sold batteries, Jeremy? They sell them on the site. It'll still be under $50. (Math check for accuracy: $12.95 * 3 = $38.95; $1.95 * 3 = $5.85; $38.95 + $5.85 = $44.80))
posted by iceberg273 at 10:39 AM on May 17, 2001

I think we can all agree that anything painted on black velvet is instantly classy.

But when an artist pushes the boundaries, and goes so far as to pick a controversial subject, in a compromising position, one isn't just creating great art, they're making you think about your position in the world, and your relationship with said art work.

ah, who am I kidding, let's buy this painting of the devil (smoking) on the crapper.
posted by mathowie at 10:43 AM on May 17, 2001

I want the Handspring Springboard pedometer. Squeaks in at $49.95.
posted by MarkAnd at 10:45 AM on May 17, 2001

Not really super cool but something I have been lamenting that I don't have -- a really good umbrella. You'd think living in Portland that I'd have a great umbrella but all of mine tend to flip inside out and pinch my fingers when I close them. It's a truly horrible state of affairs.
posted by amanda at 10:46 AM on May 17, 2001

The coolest thing ever.
posted by aaron at 10:47 AM on May 17, 2001

Ahh...I will think before I post next time. Sorry sorry... thanks Avogadro. Must be the recycled air.
posted by Stretch at 10:49 AM on May 17, 2001

This is cool.

So is this.
posted by kindall at 10:50 AM on May 17, 2001

This was one of my other favorite "bachelor needs". (for those of you that don't cook). Re-usable bags that turn your toaster into a mini-oven. You can warm up sandwiches or even baked beans - in your toaster. - ha!
posted by 120degrees at 10:58 AM on May 17, 2001

Kindall: I've had the Buddy Christ mounted on my dashboard for about 10 months now, and the poor guy is fading from the sun (since I have to park outside). If you buy one, you might consider mounting him indoors instead, on a monitor or something.

Catholicism Wow!
posted by DaShiv at 10:58 AM on May 17, 2001

How about this catalog for an exhibit of the drawings of Achilles Rizzoli, a professional draftsman, who, in his spare time, drew ludicrously complicated symbolic representations of his friends as buildings. Or a print of his stuff (sorry no link) available at the Intuit Center for Outsider Art gift shop in Chicago.
posted by sfz at 11:01 AM on May 17, 2001

Well, if it's for free, I want to mend my battered religion. There's only one man on earth with the power to save my immortal soul. You won't believe how badly I want to see one of these on a good sized television screen...
posted by Perigee at 11:02 AM on May 17, 2001

I would love to own this box set of the first 11 Studio Ghibli films on DVD from these guys. My second choice would be this first edition of Nabokov’s Invitation to a Beheading.

Pick me! Pick me!
posted by J. R. Hughto at 11:02 AM on May 17, 2001

Sorry. This catalog.
posted by sfz at 11:05 AM on May 17, 2001

Now that we've got a theme going, how about these "You Make Jesus Vomit" mugs and shirts?
posted by jkottke at 11:08 AM on May 17, 2001

I just realized (well, Avogadro pounded a realization into my brain) that we're supposed to link to a purchasable item, not just a cool link. I retract my earlier post.

Although if anyone can find an actual Dancing Dubya doll, by all means give me a pointer.
posted by aaron at 11:12 AM on May 17, 2001

And snarkout too.
posted by aaron at 11:13 AM on May 17, 2001

You want a dancing snarkout doll? Well, okay...
posted by Avogadro at 11:17 AM on May 17, 2001

This is the last one, I promise: Rappin' With Jesus : The Good News According to the Four Brothers (The Black Bible Chronicles):

"This second volume in the Black Bible Chronicles series is part of the publisher's effort to 'bring the Word of God to our younger generation in contemporary language.' Here, the gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John have been changed into black vernacular. A quote from Matthew is a good example of the translation process: 'Jesus was born in a little town called Bethlehem 'round the time this dude named Herod was king. Three wise brothers heard 'bout the little brother's birth, too, 'cuz it had been said a really righteous King of the Jews would be born. And King Herod was a bit upset about what he was hearing, especially when he considered himself the only king!'"
posted by jkottke at 11:18 AM on May 17, 2001

To expand on the theme of the moment, I'd say that anything that comes from these folks would be cool enough to take the prize. Intolerance for intolerance is so much fun. They just make it so easy, you know?
posted by TheChump at 11:21 AM on May 17, 2001

Well, this religious theme is really degenerating. I better propose Buddha's Delight before someone else does.

Of course, they also offer the Baby Jesus Buttplug and Jackhammer Jesus. But they seem a little TOO dirty for me. Gotta have some standards, right?
posted by msacheson at 11:26 AM on May 17, 2001

This may be taking the idea a bit too literally. However, with only 13 amps in my entire apartment, a real a/c is out of the question. Some strategic positioning of this item would be far superior to running DSL into the fridge. I can fit in there, but the light keeps going out when I close the door.
posted by perogi at 11:31 AM on May 17, 2001

Where the wild things are is clearly cool. Plus, you could use the change for the next contest.
posted by haqspan at 11:33 AM on May 17, 2001

I want the Vagina Washing Tool.

Just kidding.
posted by jennak at 11:38 AM on May 17, 2001

I had posted this as a link a while back, but it's still the coolest thing on the net.

posted by skwm at 11:40 AM on May 17, 2001

I think these are cool, but I'm probably in the minority.
posted by starvingartist at 11:49 AM on May 17, 2001

Oh, and I'll pay for the tax and postage, 'cuz it totals out to just over $50.
posted by starvingartist at 11:50 AM on May 17, 2001

I actually bought a Buddy Christ for a friend of mine as a housewarming present. One of the last things he and I did together before I left for Seattle was watch Dogma.
posted by kindall at 11:55 AM on May 17, 2001

I want one of those Cool Neon 20-foot Plug and Play units in Lime Green to detail my bike with...$50 even.
posted by xiffix at 12:21 PM on May 17, 2001

Never fill your dog's water dish again, with the Automatic Water Dish. Hook it up to the garden hose, and you're done.
posted by 120degrees at 12:32 PM on May 17, 2001

I would love a Peters Projection Map that accurately displays the world's continents in proportion or an Upside Down World Map that presents the earth from the perspective of the southern hemisphere. (Learn about them and find the parent e-store link at petersmap.com.)

The maps we are accustomed to seeing are based on the Mercator map designed from 1569, which radically distorts the size of continents and presents them from the vantage point of people living in the northern hemisphere. I heard about them in a snippet on NBC's "West Wing," (the snippet was meant to be humorous). Then I saw the two maps last week in a local bookstore and they blew my mind. (My friend had to help clean up the mess.)
posted by fleener at 12:34 PM on May 17, 2001

If only this didn't cost so much money... sigh.

And I would not have found it if Matt hadn't made that "Metafilter 1 year ago today" link. Thanks, Matt!
posted by starvingartist at 12:40 PM on May 17, 2001

How about a teeny-tiny handmade bicycle of wire.
posted by 120degrees at 12:43 PM on May 17, 2001

The neon Jesus cross is only $20.
posted by mathowie at 12:45 PM on May 17, 2001

Augh! The cargo Converse All Stars, complete with cargo pockets, are gone from the Converse site. *wail*

*sniff* Anyway, I could replace my ratty black monochromes, perhaps with the low-top this time. But that's not nearly as cool as the ice pyramids from Looney Labs, nor the cargo Chucks. Sigh...
posted by Spyderella at 12:45 PM on May 17, 2001

I gotta apologize for not making my frontpage post clear enough. I'd clarify here, but it's been done enough elsewhere above. Thanks to Avogadro for making the nudges necessary to keep the contest on track. Next year I'll be more clear.
posted by jbushnell at 12:51 PM on May 17, 2001

Jeremy, I linked it on the front sideblog, hopefully clearing things up too.
posted by mathowie at 1:07 PM on May 17, 2001

hope i made it under the deadline(5pm CST, right?) with this. at $19.99 per, i'll take two to the woods next month for the ultimate test.

and for jbushnell, if you select this it should pop a new window with all the links from this entire page to make judging a little easier. it's a free bookmarklet, i just hope it works here, i have mine in the toolbar.
posted by donkeysuck at 1:49 PM on May 17, 2001

Eliminate waste all together with a folding trash can. Stylish and made of recycled cardboard, to fold away when not in use.
posted by 120degrees at 1:51 PM on May 17, 2001

I would like one of these Posters, laminated of course. Any except for the Enterprise D which I already have (ok, ok, so I'm letting my true nerd colors showing).
posted by Sal Amander at 1:53 PM on May 17, 2001

I really wanted this beer-swilling stuffed armadillo, but it went for over $190. So, I compromised and went for this: a past life assessment. For the low, low price of $25.00, these kind folks will analyze me and tell me about my past lives and how it is affecting me now. Of course, if I win, I'll post the results for all to see.
posted by CRS at 1:57 PM on May 17, 2001

This shiny plastic Dome of the Rock Mosque Clock beats last year's mosque clock because it has alarms for ALL FIVE PRAYER TIMES and the alarm is a full 3 minute sounding of the azan. Heck, it's only 24.95 - make it TWO!
posted by CrazyUncleJoe at 1:59 PM on May 17, 2001

Don't worry about the deadline, donkeysuck.. it's not till Friday, so you've got another day to come up with weird & wacky gifts.
posted by zempf at 1:59 PM on May 17, 2001

Two pairs of Plasma Laces would make me quite happy.
posted by shinybeast at 2:03 PM on May 17, 2001

I will be in meetings all day long so here's my go. I think it would be very cool and definately intersting to have a years subscription to McSweeny's Quarterly Concern.
posted by Brilliantcrank at 2:06 PM on May 17, 2001

I have been wanting one of these ever since I saw them on TV one night. Cheap, and funny to listen to! My favorite is Cousin Cabbage. Ooopsin... Ima poopin!
posted by da5id at 2:11 PM on May 17, 2001

I thought this was a clever idea for TV-watching tots. The Weemote® is a programmable remote control for children. You can pre-program up to 5 channels for your child to watch with it.
posted by 120degrees at 2:21 PM on May 17, 2001

So far, farts and Jesus appear to be emerging as the theme this year, neatly brought together by msacheson's Baby Jesus buttplug, which I link to again here for no reason other than because it's just _so_ delightfully offensive.

24 hours left! It'll be hard to pick-- so many worthy choices have already been posted.
posted by jbushnell at 2:45 PM on May 17, 2001

I could finally give absinthe a try. A 20cL bottle of 140 proof Mari Mayans Absenta comes to $43.14 including packaging and shipping, and apparantly can be shipped to the states. If it was good enough for Hemmingway, it's good enough for me (all except for that shotgun part at the end).
posted by OneBallJay at 2:56 PM on May 17, 2001

One more suggestion from me (that is, if I'm allowed more than one).. how about a $50 gift certificate to cdnow so I can actually pay for all those CDs I've been leeching off of Napster the past few months? (Not as cool as the jazz alarm clock, but it'd make me feel like a better person or something)
posted by zempf at 3:10 PM on May 17, 2001

One for our British viewers. At my favourite club of all time, the girls (and few lads) carry all of their belongings in a backpack. And whilst there are the usual muppets, a few wookies and Yoda, the chichest of accessories is this. It was never just Emily who loved him.

(and since you've some change left over)
posted by feelinglistless at 3:29 PM on May 17, 2001

My only suggestion, which I would use the money for, would be to make your own cool item. If you find items yet to be created to be cool, my entry would be only to link to a local Clayroom Pottery store. The objects and locations vary along with the designs so no commercially available pieces are "for sale" per say, but a simple, hand made, original and COOL gift would be made at the pottery store be in your area.

Otherwise, if you are looking to spend some serious money, might I suggest the Boardroom model of the Geochron.
posted by brent at 4:04 PM on May 17, 2001

Buy the Absinthe!
posted by capt.crackpipe at 6:28 PM on May 17, 2001

You've got to wonder about a company that sells 2600-watt artificial suns, but I think this is pretty cool. A seven foot tall by seven foot wide crossword puzzle. I just think that's neat. So is the Thinking Cap, but I can't imagine ever wearing one in public.
posted by UnReality at 7:01 PM on May 17, 2001

Has anyone posted mine yet? {View Source} No ....

Well, I haven't seen anything this surpassingly cool in quite some time. It's a perfect memepool (or /. quickies) vector, but haha! they don't have it yet, so I get to be the giftie ta gie ye.

Apparently there's a little-known (but similar to certain widely-used industrial processes) metallurgical property that you can activate with an electrical jolt from a capacitor. The high amperage (voltage is a mere, um, 15,000) creates enough magnetic energy, temporarily, to plastically deform the metal and compress it in on itself. While the conducting object shrinks, there's an unfortunate side effect: the coil providing the magnetic energy tends to explode. See the results on a George Washington quarter.
posted by dhartung at 8:09 PM on May 17, 2001

I might as well make this a twofer (hey, there's a Ben Franklin at stake!

From the NPRQuake thread, possibly the most amazing visual experience you can have on your computer: Pencil Whipped.
posted by dhartung at 8:26 PM on May 17, 2001

I'd astonish my friends and terrorize my enemies with a Boxin' Sumo Robot. Unfortunately, the even cooler Spider 3 Walking Avoider Robot is a bit too expensive and also less likely to do any serious terrorizing, what with all that avoiding and all.

I was tempted to enter the enchanting ice cream monster bowl, but I don't know how much it costs.
posted by gamera at 9:09 PM on May 17, 2001

Why get a Jesus Buddy when you can get a Dubya Buddy? Lifesize, even?

Yes, this is my entry. If I win, I'll dress it up funny and take my picture with it for everyone's amusement.
posted by aaron at 9:11 PM on May 17, 2001

Careful with the absinthe, a lot of it is fake; the good stuff is taken out of it because of drug laws, and you end up with nothing but funny-tasting Midori. And if it is real, you stand a reasonably good chance of having customs impound it.
posted by aaron at 9:15 PM on May 17, 2001

Aaron, if you promise to dress up funny and take pictures, I'll buy you this standee.
posted by mathowie at 9:21 PM on May 17, 2001

I know this one was posted last year, but it didn't really qualify (seeing as it's 34.95). also, its nauseously cute. i mean, it *toasts* the face into each slice.

and just to balance out the disgusting cuteness, a homicidal maniac on my chest would be nice too.

i suppose if those two don't make the cut, how can you go wrong with a soft foam doughboy?
posted by syn at 10:13 PM on May 17, 2001

I’ll pitch in another $15 bucks if somebody gets METAFILTER tatooed on them.
posted by capt.crackpipe at 11:54 PM on May 17, 2001

Forget those 'plain' Mexican wrestler masks linked at the top of this page. One of my favorite bands, Los Straitjackets, have the coolest wrestler masks available through their Gracious Living Catalogue (scroll down halfway). That 50 bucks would buy me a 'Pedro'!
posted by Sal Amander at 12:15 AM on May 18, 2001

I would like this - Share of a Heifer.

"Heifer Project International combats hunger, alleviates poverty, and restores the environment by providing appropriate livestock, training, and related services to small-scale farmers worldwide.......Heifer Project's key concept is that each recipient must pass on to others some of the offspring of the farm animals they receive. This principle, called "passing on the gift," assures that each participant in the program becomes a donor, enhancing dignity and participation in each project."

I would like somebody I will never meet, who lives on a continent I will probably never visit, who has likely never heard of the web, to get a little random hope dropped in their lap by a bunch of anonymous donors.

And if there is a $1 left over, this homesick Canadian would love a box of Canadian Smarties!
posted by kristin at 2:44 AM on May 18, 2001

I think the this T-Shirt is cool in grey(the shirt for obvious reason, grey not so obvious). And it would go nicely with this hat. Then again, as my wife would tell you, I'm a big freakin' geek.
posted by monkeyboy at 4:23 AM on May 18, 2001

Am I too late? Last year, I wanted bioluminescent water (Jeremy - mail me about that, please). I'd like to keep the glow thing going. This year I'd like a neon light kit for my PC. I'm thinking that the Liquid Blue ought to look kicky in my G4. At $39.99 for item 104B, it comes in high on the coolness factor, but easy on the budget. I'm tempted by the sound sensitive model, but I'm afraid of inducing seizures, Pokemon style.
posted by plinth at 4:45 AM on May 18, 2001

One of these would be nice

As would one of these

(I know they're priced in £'s but I'm pretty sure they're both under $50)
posted by Markb at 4:46 AM on May 18, 2001

I was telling my wife about this contest and she said she wanted a velvet vulva. It's too expensive, but so odd I thought I'd post it here anyway. How we ever got together amazes me sometimes.
posted by CRS at 6:24 AM on May 18, 2001

I went searching and searching for a Ping Pong gun. (Thinking back, I bet my old one didn't really get lost...) As a side effect, I found that
Atari still has their hand in, though I'm disappointed by their perceived need to "upgrade." But it was not a fruitless search, because I remembered Nerf! So I'd like a Nerf Motorized Ballzooka. I suppose if you wanted to be sporting, you could get me and Jon a pair of Nerf Super Maxx 3000 Dart Blasters, but really, wouldn't it be much more amusing just to give me the big gun? World peace through superior fire power...
posted by Spyderella at 6:28 AM on May 18, 2001

If we're requesting T-shirts, I want Exploding Dog garb. One star, one robot.
posted by werty at 6:56 AM on May 18, 2001

OK, scratch the other stuff I asked for, I've changed my mind.

In keeping with the pseudo-religious theme, theres the Life of Christ in Cats Plate.

Or, to commemorate the princess of all our hearts, the Princess Di Breakfast Plate of Hope.

Failing that, I'll take the Elvis Presley Dambusters Clock-Plate of Tutenkhamen.
posted by Markb at 7:49 AM on May 18, 2001

I bet I could get Mr. Yuk tattooed on my butt for $50.

Oh geez nevermind, somebody already mentioned tattoos today.

capt, was it the 'homicidal maniac on my chest' that got you thinking about tattoos too?
posted by sudama at 9:23 AM on May 18, 2001

I had a plaid lunchbox when I was young, and I thought I was the coolest thing around. Boy, would I be the envy of my colleagues if I could carry one to work now.
posted by idiolect at 10:32 AM on May 18, 2001

these are the coolest things ever...revolutionizing the day to day commute forever! (heh)

posted by sighofrelief at 11:12 AM on May 18, 2001

these are actually (oops)
posted by sighofrelief at 11:13 AM on May 18, 2001

Speaking of lunchboxes....I've been rilly, rilly lusting in my heart for a syphilis lunchbox for a very long time now.

But I also need some more rubber duckie friends too. My favorite's "Gray", with the pierced beak.

All cheap!
posted by Melinika at 11:14 AM on May 18, 2001

HTML luser that is I.....

Syphilis lunchbox and rubber duckies.

posted by Melinika at 11:25 AM on May 18, 2001

I could get enough computer nerd lollypops to share with my MeFi pals (I'd pick up some way too sour blo-pops in case I ran out) when they come to visit.
posted by CrazyUncleJoe at 11:38 AM on May 18, 2001

I think the tattoo idea is great! How about a tattoo that says, "This tattoo cost $50!"?
posted by starvingartist at 12:06 PM on May 18, 2001

Hey! Somebody got to my rubber duck idea before me. Nevertheless, I am confident in the superior coolness of my duck. Presenting,
Mr. James Brown

Five please.
posted by conquistador at 12:22 PM on May 18, 2001

Ouch! I concede, I concede on the duckie.

But now I want a Get Out of Hell Free card. Is that cool enough to do combat with?
posted by Melinika at 12:34 PM on May 18, 2001

His name is Gutz. Gus Gutz.
posted by xsquared-1 at 12:42 PM on May 18, 2001

I own a James Brown duck. Trust me, it's worth every penny.
posted by shinybeast at 12:53 PM on May 18, 2001

I'd buy the blueprints for the Haunted Mansion at Disneyland. And you'd still have 24 bucks (with the shipping costs) left over for next year's contest!
posted by bison at 1:12 PM on May 18, 2001

If I can't have robots marching across my ceiling, I could settle for a Fully Assembled Simple Bat Detector.

Either it detects simple bats, or it's simple to use. Either way, I'd be happy.
posted by iceberg273 at 1:24 PM on May 18, 2001

Ewriter Frisbee or Renegade Executive Assistant or I'm sure you could get this Yale porn flick. It's gotten good reviews, supposedly.
posted by wantwit at 1:33 PM on May 18, 2001

Judging in progress as we speak. Stay tuned.
posted by jbushnell at 3:01 PM on May 18, 2001

With some help from a friend, I have determined that the coolest item suggested is CRS' past life assessment. The right blend of interesting and pointlessly frivolous.

Since it's only $25, that left me with the ability to choose a runner-up of $25 or less: I chose Donkeysuck's mosquito-repelling personal forcefield.

With only a few bucks remaining, I managed to fit in Snarkout's request for Pocari Sweat (although not the pure cane soda necessary to wash it down with).

Too many runners-up to mention.

Winners, please stay on the line.

(For the record, I'm planning to do this again next year. I'll chip in the first thirty bucks. Want to chip in a few bucks to the pot? Use this PayPal link.)
posted by jbushnell at 3:48 PM on May 18, 2001

I realize that this is late, but I had to put it up:


If this isn't the coolest damn thing you can buy on the web,
then I'm a monkey.
posted by jaded at 10:30 PM on May 19, 2001

How about using the $50 to help someone get an education. Sounds like the best investment to me...
posted by TNLNYC at 4:27 PM on May 20, 2001

Don't get me wrong, I think the Metafilter Scholarship is a great idea. But there are lots of places where you can get money for your college education, including the Federal Government. But where else but here can you find someone who will subsidize a desire to try Pocari Sweat?
posted by jbushnell at 9:42 AM on May 22, 2001

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