We were very different back then.
February 11, 2009 6:51 AM   Subscribe

How Indian Cinema has changed.
posted by hadjiboy (17 comments total) 1 user marked this as a favorite

Bollywood reviews + posters.
posted by gman at 7:57 AM on February 11, 2009

Looks the same to me.
posted by Zambrano at 9:16 AM on February 11, 2009

obligatory Choli Ke Peeche Kya Hai
posted by UbuRoivas at 11:48 AM on February 11, 2009

Awesome indeed; it doesn't get much better than SRK and a hottie dancing atop a train. Dil Se has some great songs; in fact, I remember popping in the DVD and playing some of them for my wife on our 2nd or 3rd date. Chaiyya Chaiyya is probably my favorite, but Dil Se Rey is close behind.
posted by fings at 1:17 PM on February 11, 2009

Serious question:

Are there any Indian movies without musical numbers?
posted by empath at 6:00 PM on February 11, 2009

Sure, there are non-musical Indian movies. I'm pretty sure Satyajit Ray's films don't have musical numbers, but those are older films.

For a more recent example, there's The Terrorist.

I have to say though, it doesn't take too long to become accustomed to the song & dance numbers, and the longer running times, of Indian films. Once you are used to them, even having them pop up in a serious film like Satya will not seem out of sorts.
posted by fings at 6:54 PM on February 11, 2009

Hindi movies without a dance number--sacrilege--I say. Here is what Song and Dance mean to India, according to the Wikipedia. Also, The Ten Worst Bollywood Dance Numbers according to some dude. And Sharukh says No Bollywood without Song and Dance.

I concur fings and Sir Mildred Pierce, although I must say it's been a while since I've seen Dil Se Re or Chaiya Chaiya... maybe even too long, at least for the songs.

Oh, and Ubu, I almost had forgotten that song, and what a guy got for singing it in class back in the 9th grade. The teacher told him to get out, and stay out, because he didn't know the meaning of the word--to become Bare Breasted after removing the garment which hides your modesty--or at least that's the idea they were wanting people to think while hearing that song!
posted by hadjiboy at 7:50 PM on February 11, 2009 [1 favorite]

>Are there any Indian movies without musical numbers?
While volunteering in Nepal, I picked up a videocassette of Star Wars in Kathmandu to show the kids of my host family. About 30 minutes in, Ishoor turns to me with his arms out and says, essentially, "What, no singing?"
posted by blueberry at 2:08 AM on February 12, 2009 [1 favorite]

Damn, now I can't help but imagine Star Wars song & dance numbers.

For example, to the tune of Choli Ke Peeche Kya Hai:

"Luke, I am your father, hey hey!
Luke, I am your father!"
posted by UbuRoivas at 3:41 AM on February 12, 2009 [1 favorite]

You know, what would have been even more killing in that movie, and Ishoor takes the cake for this--would have been the dance numbers in it--can you see it now: Princess Lela dancing for Luke Skywalker! Or even Han Solo--yeah--what a film!!!

The Ishoor Version: Not To Be Missed.
posted by hadjiboy at 3:50 AM on February 12, 2009 [1 favorite]

what about Jabba the Hutt doing a bhangra dance?

(with Daler Mehndi doing the playback singing, of course!)
posted by UbuRoivas at 3:56 AM on February 12, 2009


i rarely use the term "greatest thing in the history of the universe" lightly, but that would be the greatest thing in the history of the universe.
posted by UbuRoivas at 3:59 AM on February 12, 2009

Haha! I salute thee as usual... that would be quite a treat--seeing Jabba the Hutt performing a Bhangra Dance--with no one else other than Daler Mehndi you say! Ouch--there goes Star Wars from how we knew it, and here comes the new remixed version--which I'll be standing in-line to see, along with another couple of million other Indians I bet.

The UbuRoivas Version--now at a Cinema near you--how else can you resist, aye!
posted by hadjiboy at 4:51 AM on February 12, 2009

Don't forget the scene in which Obi Wan Kenobi & Darth Vader battle it out *in dance* in front of a legion of item-girls in sexy stormtrooper outfits!
posted by UbuRoivas at 4:57 AM on February 12, 2009

I don't want a Bollywood remake of Star Wars. I just want a re-edit, where they add in the song & dance scenes that were "cut" from the original. (This sounds like a fun project if you know some Star Wars cosplayers.)

Songs. I figure 6-8 songs should be about right.

Luke obviously needs a song when he is introduced, singing about his life and how much Tatooine sucks.

But Luke doesn't show up until 20-some minutes into the movie, so we probably want a song before that. We don't want to open with a song -- we need to easy into Bollywood -- so the film start normally. That means the first song needs to go to the droids. I'm thinking it should be a song that starts once R2D2 and C3P0 get together (after Leia finishes with R2D2), and humorously depicts their escape from the ship, and ends with them getting shot into space.

The next song is obviously for Obi-Wan, explaining to Luke what it means to be a Jedi.

After that, we finally get the Vader/Tarken/Leia number, with them being evil, and her pleading for her planet, after which the Death Star destroys Alderaan.

You could have another escape song, covering the scenes from the detention level/trash compactor/sneaking back to the ship, but that might be too much.

After Ben dies, Luke should have a song morning his loss.

Finally, during the fight over the Death Star, there needs to be a "Use the Force, Luke" number.

There we go. 6 or 7 songs. Now all someone needs to do is write them.
posted by fings at 9:32 AM on February 12, 2009

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