iSnort
April 30, 2009 10:27 PM Subscribe
iSnort - that is all
No one makes those stupid sounds when snorting coke, come on now.
posted by MaryDellamorte at 10:47 PM on April 30, 2009
posted by MaryDellamorte at 10:47 PM on April 30, 2009
Followed in a couple hours by the iComedown.
posted by wolfewarrior at 10:54 PM on April 30, 2009
posted by wolfewarrior at 10:54 PM on April 30, 2009
Hours?
posted by oneironaut at 10:56 PM on April 30, 2009 [3 favorites]
posted by oneironaut at 10:56 PM on April 30, 2009 [3 favorites]
iAmNonPlussed.
posted by Effigy2000 at 11:05 PM on April 30, 2009
posted by Effigy2000 at 11:05 PM on April 30, 2009
iGiveahandjobtosomefilthytweakerinthebathroomofthegaybar
Wait. That's actually a great totally non-ironic idea!
posted by Avenger at 11:08 PM on April 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
Wait. That's actually a great totally non-ironic idea!
posted by Avenger at 11:08 PM on April 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
After years of such abuse and finally losing everything, the next application this guy will need will be Narcotics iNonymous.
posted by birdhaus at 11:11 PM on April 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by birdhaus at 11:11 PM on April 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
iHate the iPrefix more than the ePrefix.
That the branding is so successful indicates that there are too many narcissistic people with vastly more discretional income than taste than I do. Yes, it's an envy/jealousy thing. These people have money and no style and seek to procure it, and by dint of marketing, achieve some minimal leval of style by dint of recursiveness.
I have no money. Whether or not I have style or not is not the point.
Apple could potentially shoot themselves in the foot if an actual competitor* could find some way of making fun of the iPhenomenon.
*which there are currently... none
posted by porpoise at 11:20 PM on April 30, 2009
That the branding is so successful indicates that there are too many narcissistic people with vastly more discretional income than taste than I do. Yes, it's an envy/jealousy thing. These people have money and no style and seek to procure it, and by dint of marketing, achieve some minimal leval of style by dint of recursiveness.
I have no money. Whether or not I have style or not is not the point.
Apple could potentially shoot themselves in the foot if an actual competitor* could find some way of making fun of the iPhenomenon.
*which there are currently... none
posted by porpoise at 11:20 PM on April 30, 2009
OK porpoise, so you hate the iPrefix alot. Just curious... how do you feel about an iSuffix?
posted by Effigy2000 at 11:26 PM on April 30, 2009
posted by Effigy2000 at 11:26 PM on April 30, 2009
So you're saying I need a jailbroken iPhone for this?
Okay, okay.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 11:27 PM on April 30, 2009
Okay, okay.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 11:27 PM on April 30, 2009
iFeellikemyearsarebleedingguysseriouslyaremyearsbleedingtheyarentareyousureokayokay
theyarentgreatwellanywaywhowantstodrivetoatlanticcityyesIKNOWidontgablethatsnothepoint
posted by Damn That Television at 11:30 PM on April 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
theyarentgreatwellanywaywhowantstodrivetoatlanticcityyesIKNOWidontgablethatsnothepoint
posted by Damn That Television at 11:30 PM on April 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
oh, like anyone would risk scratching their iphone screen like that.
posted by Afroblanco at 11:32 PM on April 30, 2009
posted by Afroblanco at 11:32 PM on April 30, 2009
This one goes in the time capsule.
posted by swift at 12:24 AM on May 1, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by swift at 12:24 AM on May 1, 2009 [1 favorite]
Have y'all seen this gem?
Drug-related preference in cocaine addiction extends to images
posted by Catblack at 12:49 AM on May 1, 2009
Drug-related preference in cocaine addiction extends to images
posted by Catblack at 12:49 AM on May 1, 2009
oh, like anyone would risk scratching their iphone screen like that.
yes, to scratch any shiny Apple product is tantamount to vandalism
posted by mattoxic at 12:54 AM on May 1, 2009
yes, to scratch any shiny Apple product is tantamount to vandalism
posted by mattoxic at 12:54 AM on May 1, 2009
That's actually a great totally non-ironic idea!
I think you're confusing it with
iGetahandjobfromsomefilthytweakerinthebathroomofthegaybar
posted by PeterMcDermott at 12:55 AM on May 1, 2009
I think you're confusing it with
iGetahandjobfromsomefilthytweakerinthebathroomofthegaybar
posted by PeterMcDermott at 12:55 AM on May 1, 2009
There is no "woo-hoo!"
At that point the guy who made the app engages you into a discussion about how that app, although a simulation, is really a game-changer in terms of phone software and the simulated experience is the new reality and don't you get how great it is when people no longer need a corporeal existence when perhaps your product is what people will judge you by and I bring for example the time I played "The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down" and thy were all hootin' and hollerin' and, dammit, you know--I mean really know you're better than that and perhaps it's time to write that song about the NEW civil war and msh it up with that great idea about that stage production of Yacht Rock provided you get the right guy to play Jeff "Skunk" Baxter and I only bring this up with you, cause you play in a lot of bands and you know how a project should go and I swear this is really the greatest idea ever and we really could make this happen and seriously ther is so much genious in this project and back to the app; there are many ways to simulate how things are--can I get a beer--without getting into--she was looking at me, right?
Hey, it was fun listening to you, but I have to go talk to her, yeah she seems chatty but also seems alone so she sureky was watching the show and it seemed she was into me while I was on stage and she's pretty cold now, but it's likely she doesn't know how to deal with others and, dammit, she's always hot for shinier peacocks despite the fsct she has no clue...
posted by sourwookie at 1:12 AM on May 1, 2009 [1 favorite]
At that point the guy who made the app engages you into a discussion about how that app, although a simulation, is really a game-changer in terms of phone software and the simulated experience is the new reality and don't you get how great it is when people no longer need a corporeal existence when perhaps your product is what people will judge you by and I bring for example the time I played "The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down" and thy were all hootin' and hollerin' and, dammit, you know--I mean really know you're better than that and perhaps it's time to write that song about the NEW civil war and msh it up with that great idea about that stage production of Yacht Rock provided you get the right guy to play Jeff "Skunk" Baxter and I only bring this up with you, cause you play in a lot of bands and you know how a project should go and I swear this is really the greatest idea ever and we really could make this happen and seriously ther is so much genious in this project and back to the app; there are many ways to simulate how things are--can I get a beer--without getting into--she was looking at me, right?
Hey, it was fun listening to you, but I have to go talk to her, yeah she seems chatty but also seems alone so she sureky was watching the show and it seemed she was into me while I was on stage and she's pretty cold now, but it's likely she doesn't know how to deal with others and, dammit, she's always hot for shinier peacocks despite the fsct she has no clue...
posted by sourwookie at 1:12 AM on May 1, 2009 [1 favorite]
Let's go get some more!
posted by The Light Fantastic at 1:14 AM on May 1, 2009
posted by The Light Fantastic at 1:14 AM on May 1, 2009
Seems mattdidthat and I were on the same track.
posted by sourwookie at 1:15 AM on May 1, 2009
posted by sourwookie at 1:15 AM on May 1, 2009
Oh...and from the article linked above:
"This suggests that drug-addicted individuals may not be fully aware of their own choice behavior or that drug choice in addicted individuals may not be fully driven by the pleasure or reward they get from the drug, as is frequently assumed."
No shit, Sherlock.
posted by The Light Fantastic at 1:17 AM on May 1, 2009
"This suggests that drug-addicted individuals may not be fully aware of their own choice behavior or that drug choice in addicted individuals may not be fully driven by the pleasure or reward they get from the drug, as is frequently assumed."
No shit, Sherlock.
posted by The Light Fantastic at 1:17 AM on May 1, 2009
At that point the guy who made the app engages you into a discussion about how that app, although a simulation, is really a game-changer in terms of phone software and the simulated experience is the new reality and don't you get how great it is when people no longer need a corporeal existence
This is videodrome all over again, isn't it?
Long Live the New Flesh!
posted by Catblack at 1:37 AM on May 1, 2009
This is videodrome all over again, isn't it?
Long Live the New Flesh!
posted by Catblack at 1:37 AM on May 1, 2009
Just in case being a cocaine user who flashes his iPhone in a club didn't make you enough of a pretentious asshole!
/ironic hipsterish detachment
posted by Pollomacho at 4:32 AM on May 1, 2009
/ironic hipsterish detachment
posted by Pollomacho at 4:32 AM on May 1, 2009
They'd sell a million apps if they changed it so you can stick your nose into a pile and come up with coke on the end like Tony Montana.
posted by digsrus at 4:50 AM on May 1, 2009
posted by digsrus at 4:50 AM on May 1, 2009
lame.
posted by monkeyJuice at 4:54 AM on May 1, 2009
posted by monkeyJuice at 4:54 AM on May 1, 2009
Wait, I have a technical question. The iPhone has a capacitative touchscreen. How does tapping it with a credit card and brushing it with a rolled-up dollar work?
posted by oneironaut at 5:46 AM on May 1, 2009
posted by oneironaut at 5:46 AM on May 1, 2009
This app would have been the perfect use of iPhone 3.0's upcoming micropayment system, which allows developers to charge users within their apps for new content. So the app and the first hit, as they say, would be free, but...
posted by mkultra at 5:53 AM on May 1, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by mkultra at 5:53 AM on May 1, 2009 [1 favorite]
I'm releasing a hacked version called iCutItWithBorax.
Actually, it would be kind of neat if after you snorted the coke, a little medical bag icon appeared, which you could spread open with your fingers and from which you could draw a hypodermic needle. Then the needle would fill the screen and you'd have to stab the iPhone into your chest in a simulation of attempted resuscitation of an OD'ed patient.
posted by Pastabagel at 6:20 AM on May 1, 2009 [1 favorite]
Actually, it would be kind of neat if after you snorted the coke, a little medical bag icon appeared, which you could spread open with your fingers and from which you could draw a hypodermic needle. Then the needle would fill the screen and you'd have to stab the iPhone into your chest in a simulation of attempted resuscitation of an OD'ed patient.
posted by Pastabagel at 6:20 AM on May 1, 2009 [1 favorite]
How does tapping it with a credit card and brushing it with a rolled-up dollar work?
It doesn't. Maybe they faked it. Has anyone actually downloaded the app?
posted by bhnyc at 8:43 AM on May 1, 2009
It doesn't. Maybe they faked it. Has anyone actually downloaded the app?
posted by bhnyc at 8:43 AM on May 1, 2009
I'm going to guess they do it by sound, since they're not touching the screen directly with skin. I'm not as sure about the cutting, but definitely the snorting, that's detected via the mic. That's why he's so theatrical about it.
posted by annathea at 9:07 AM on May 1, 2009
posted by annathea at 9:07 AM on May 1, 2009
The tapping must just place the lines in the same location on the screen.
As for the snorting, I would guess that the line disappears based on sound, and does so at a fixed rate.
With a little practice, he made a smooth video that appears to be dynamic, although it isn't. Just my 2 cents
posted by FusiveResonance at 6:42 PM on May 1, 2009
As for the snorting, I would guess that the line disappears based on sound, and does so at a fixed rate.
With a little practice, he made a smooth video that appears to be dynamic, although it isn't. Just my 2 cents
posted by FusiveResonance at 6:42 PM on May 1, 2009
Can the iPhone sense vibration? Maybe that's how the tapping worked, though I don't know about the cutting. Could just be a random placement on those.
posted by Talanvor at 12:09 AM on May 2, 2009
posted by Talanvor at 12:09 AM on May 2, 2009
The iphone has accelerometers so it knows when it's being tapped. The snorting action I'm not so clear on. It might just be video and the demo is well timed to his actions.
posted by chairface at 8:06 AM on May 2, 2009
posted by chairface at 8:06 AM on May 2, 2009
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posted by ZaneJ. at 10:40 PM on April 30, 2009