Floating high on the 17,000 calorie seas
May 8, 2009 7:31 AM Subscribe
The Meat Ship Ingredients:
~20 sausages
~48 rashers of bacon
1.2kg of sausage meat
1kg of pork mince
10 franks
1kg of pastry (not 100% meat this time)
1 onion
1 mushroom
2 packets of chipolata sausages
various food colourings
sage
Sequel to the Meat House.
Previously.
I'm gonna fuckin' puke.
posted by gman at 7:34 AM on May 8, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by gman at 7:34 AM on May 8, 2009 [1 favorite]
"Work the shaft, pluck the hair, SAY THE NAME!"
-Odin Quincannon
posted by Molesome at 7:38 AM on May 8, 2009
-Odin Quincannon
posted by Molesome at 7:38 AM on May 8, 2009
This is sort of how I imagine it would look if the Chapman brothers worked in meat. Only they'd have better figurines piloting their God forsaken meat vessel into a bacony oblivion instead of improvising portly sausage men.
posted by CheshireCat at 7:41 AM on May 8, 2009
posted by CheshireCat at 7:41 AM on May 8, 2009
That thing makes me want to convert to Islam.
posted by Optamystic at 7:50 AM on May 8, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by Optamystic at 7:50 AM on May 8, 2009 [1 favorite]
Sure, we could make a meat boat that looks and tastes good, but let's just throw a bunch of raw sausages together and hang some bacon on it. Done!
posted by uncleozzy at 7:51 AM on May 8, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by uncleozzy at 7:51 AM on May 8, 2009 [1 favorite]
All aboard for Coronary Infarct Isle!
posted by Halloween Jack at 7:52 AM on May 8, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by Halloween Jack at 7:52 AM on May 8, 2009 [1 favorite]
You shouldn't play with your food.
posted by Divine_Wino at 7:52 AM on May 8, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by Divine_Wino at 7:52 AM on May 8, 2009 [1 favorite]
The final product didn't resemble a meat ship so much as a big pile of meat, partially supported by wooden skewers. I guess that's not quite as catchy, though.
posted by owtytrof at 8:01 AM on May 8, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by owtytrof at 8:01 AM on May 8, 2009 [1 favorite]
That's why you ought to cook the meat first. This would have been such an attractive meatship if the meat and pastry had all been cooked before assembly. Except maybe the bacon, maybe. This is a recipe for a floppy meatship adrift on a sea of grease, and I don't like it.
posted by uncleozzy at 8:05 AM on May 8, 2009
posted by uncleozzy at 8:05 AM on May 8, 2009
Optamystic, I'm sure you could make a halal version.
Imagine a star trek future where whales would preside over an "animal truth and reconciliation commission" or something, and stumble upon these images. I mean, seriously, it looks just so horrendously messed up…
–You made a what out of them? A tiny captains hat? What the fuck is wrong with you!
posted by monocultured at 8:05 AM on May 8, 2009 [3 favorites]
Imagine a star trek future where whales would preside over an "animal truth and reconciliation commission" or something, and stumble upon these images. I mean, seriously, it looks just so horrendously messed up…
–You made a what out of them? A tiny captains hat? What the fuck is wrong with you!
posted by monocultured at 8:05 AM on May 8, 2009 [3 favorites]
That's absolutely vile.
I'll be having a salad for lunch now. Now and forever.
posted by mrstrotsky at 8:05 AM on May 8, 2009
I'll be having a salad for lunch now. Now and forever.
posted by mrstrotsky at 8:05 AM on May 8, 2009
I approve of this post.
posted by Meatbomb at 8:06 AM on May 8, 2009 [2 favorites]
posted by Meatbomb at 8:06 AM on May 8, 2009 [2 favorites]
floppy meatship adrift on a sea of grease - a postcoital scene in the kitchen of a McDonald's.
posted by backseatpilot at 8:09 AM on May 8, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by backseatpilot at 8:09 AM on May 8, 2009 [1 favorite]
These meat-stunt posts always serve to push me a wee bit closer to vegetarianism.
posted by rusty at 8:19 AM on May 8, 2009 [2 favorites]
posted by rusty at 8:19 AM on May 8, 2009 [2 favorites]
i'm not sure i feel too good about food coloring ground meat... i draw the line at frosting and easter eggs.
posted by fuzzypantalones at 8:23 AM on May 8, 2009
posted by fuzzypantalones at 8:23 AM on May 8, 2009
The Lost Seinfeld Episode: Season 5, Ep. 76: The Meatship
posted by Optimus Chyme at 8:25 AM on May 8, 2009
posted by Optimus Chyme at 8:25 AM on May 8, 2009
I coined a new term for this sort of thing, this morning:
Cholesterotica.
Feel free to use it.
posted by jake at 8:37 AM on May 8, 2009
Cholesterotica.
Feel free to use it.
posted by jake at 8:37 AM on May 8, 2009
"coming out, the sails have shrunken somewhat"
...as has my breakfast, all over my keyboard.
[actually it looks similar! ... nom nom and it tastes similar, too! Mmmm!]
CheshireCat: This is sort of how I imagine it would look if the Chapman brothers worked in meat. Only they'd have better figurines piloting their God forsaken meat vessel into a bacony oblivion instead of improvising portly sausage men.
I was expecting these Chapman Brothers. What have you done with them?
posted by not_on_display at 8:47 AM on May 8, 2009
...as has my breakfast, all over my keyboard.
[actually it looks similar! ... nom nom and it tastes similar, too! Mmmm!]
CheshireCat: This is sort of how I imagine it would look if the Chapman brothers worked in meat. Only they'd have better figurines piloting their God forsaken meat vessel into a bacony oblivion instead of improvising portly sausage men.
I was expecting these Chapman Brothers. What have you done with them?
posted by not_on_display at 8:47 AM on May 8, 2009
MeatFilter
posted by Pollomacho at 8:49 AM on May 8, 2009
posted by Pollomacho at 8:49 AM on May 8, 2009
Where are the girls? That ship is a total sausage fest.
posted by Bokononist at 8:58 AM on May 8, 2009
posted by Bokononist at 8:58 AM on May 8, 2009
tis a foul wind that fills these sails!
posted by orme at 9:16 AM on May 8, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by orme at 9:16 AM on May 8, 2009 [1 favorite]
An SQL error has occurred. Please see error.log for details.
:(
posted by Space Coyote at 9:27 AM on May 8, 2009
:(
posted by Space Coyote at 9:27 AM on May 8, 2009
It ain't tragic to die doing what you love.
posted by slimepuppy at 9:41 AM on May 8, 2009
posted by slimepuppy at 9:41 AM on May 8, 2009
Im finding that I tend to hate things that people do just so they can put pictures of it on the internet. Is there a word for it yet? This one is particularly useless and horrible.
posted by ElmerFishpaw at 10:06 AM on May 8, 2009
posted by ElmerFishpaw at 10:06 AM on May 8, 2009
With the sails looking ragged and the timbers askew, it doesn't look so much like a ship o' the line as a ship o' the damned. Which is an apt analogy, I suppose.
posted by explosion at 10:37 AM on May 8, 2009
posted by explosion at 10:37 AM on May 8, 2009
A missed opportunity to utilize the "baconisthenewninjapiratezombie" tag.
posted by ActingTheGoat at 10:51 AM on May 8, 2009
posted by ActingTheGoat at 10:51 AM on May 8, 2009
Before you slip into unconsciousness,
I'll have another turkey breast,
Another cardiac carress,
Another shank, another shank.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 10:54 AM on May 8, 2009 [3 favorites]
I'll have another turkey breast,
Another cardiac carress,
Another shank, another shank.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 10:54 AM on May 8, 2009 [3 favorites]
Before you slip into unconsciousness,
I'll have another turkey breast,
Another cardiac carress,
Another shank, another shank.
The pork is cured and filled with salt
Enclose it with your sauerkraut
The thyme you used was too potent; but,
We'll eat again, we'll eat again
Oh tell me you have some freedom fries
Some ketchup and turkey pot pies
Deliver me some gravy in pint-size
You'd rather try it on sourdough rye
everyone sing along with me, now:
The cutlet ship is being filled
With sausage curls, a thousand broils
A million ways to baste your ham
When we get back, I'll have some lamb
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 12:01 PM on May 8, 2009 [6 favorites]
I'll have another turkey breast,
Another cardiac carress,
Another shank, another shank.
The pork is cured and filled with salt
Enclose it with your sauerkraut
The thyme you used was too potent; but,
We'll eat again, we'll eat again
Oh tell me you have some freedom fries
Some ketchup and turkey pot pies
Deliver me some gravy in pint-size
You'd rather try it on sourdough rye
everyone sing along with me, now:
The cutlet ship is being filled
With sausage curls, a thousand broils
A million ways to baste your ham
When we get back, I'll have some lamb
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 12:01 PM on May 8, 2009 [6 favorites]
Ladies and Gentlemen, the SS Cholesterol is now leaving port. All aboard.
posted by MuffinMan at 12:12 PM on May 8, 2009
posted by MuffinMan at 12:12 PM on May 8, 2009
"Ah, pretty good Jim Morrison impersonation there. I hope those guys have a good sense of humor and don't take us into court."
"What's the court? You mean the People's Court?"
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 1:17 PM on May 8, 2009
"What's the court? You mean the People's Court?"
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 1:17 PM on May 8, 2009
Odin Quincannon:
Thought of "Preacher" as soon as I saw the Meat House!
posted by TDavis at 3:55 PM on May 8, 2009
Thought of "Preacher" as soon as I saw the Meat House!
posted by TDavis at 3:55 PM on May 8, 2009
Now they need to make a ship just from hearts & arteries and put them on the table in a mock battle. [hint]: the meat ship wins.
posted by Lukenlogs at 6:29 PM on May 8, 2009
posted by Lukenlogs at 6:29 PM on May 8, 2009
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posted by middleclasstool at 7:33 AM on May 8, 2009 [4 favorites]