"Humans won't pay to watch dinosaurs ride motocross bikes forever" said Tark.

July 14, 2009 5:06 AM

Let Us Now Praise Awesome Dinosaurs
posted by minifigs (43 comments total)

Via Dinosaur Comics
posted by minifigs at 5:07 AM on July 14, 2009 [2 favorites]

I'm only half-way through it but this is already my favorite SLSS in a long time.

"INTERVIEWER: How intelligent are dinosaurs?

DINOSAUR RACER 2: We're probably not going to win any prizes, but if you think about it, neither are you."
posted by CRM114 at 5:15 AM on July 14, 2009

That was really enjoyable. Thanks.
posted by mdonley at 5:16 AM on July 14, 2009

That was pretty damn snazzy. Thanks for posting it.
posted by Ghidorah at 5:20 AM on July 14, 2009

I really enjoyed that one. Thanks!
posted by Malor at 5:31 AM on July 14, 2009

This was fantastic - I'd love a book of short stories based in the same world.
posted by mikepop at 5:52 AM on July 14, 2009

amazing idea but a bit rushed. i would have liked to see more of many of the scenes.

on the other hand DINOS RULE
posted by Potomac Avenue at 6:01 AM on July 14, 2009

OK, now that was a science fiction story worth a FPP - wonderfully written. I really wish the author would leave out the paragraph at the end where the entire theme is explained and the message delivered with a heavy hand, but really, that's a minor gripe when you have dinosaurs riding motocross.
posted by Slap*Happy at 6:02 AM on July 14, 2009

That was as awesome as dinosaurs.
posted by djduckie at 6:23 AM on July 14, 2009

"What kind are you?" asked one.

"Kick-your-ass-a-saurus. "

:)
posted by Mastercheddaar at 6:48 AM on July 14, 2009

Very enjoyable. I think that film CRASH would have been much better if, instead of an Iranian man trying to buy a gun from a racist gunshop owner, it had been a dinosaur.
posted by marmaduke_yaverland at 7:01 AM on July 14, 2009 [2 favorites]

A tyrannosaur came charging into the arena like an entire football team in one body.

Heh heh heh.
posted by Guy_Inamonkeysuit at 7:29 AM on July 14, 2009

Very enjoyable. I think that film CRASH would have been much better if, instead of an Iranian man trying to buy a gun from a racist gunshop owner, it had been a dinosaur.

Here's the first draft of the Crash script:

Dear Black People:

See? We understand you.

Love, White People

PS: Chinese is Black, right?

Also, this story was awesome beyond words.
posted by hifiparasol at 7:52 AM on July 14, 2009 [11 favorites]

that was very good. thank you submitter.
posted by sentinel chicken at 7:53 AM on July 14, 2009

Nthing praises of the story; imagining Randall Monroe as one of the two kids and thinking that things make a lot more sense now...
posted by doubleozaphod at 8:19 AM on July 14, 2009 [1 favorite]

Wow!
posted by Xoebe at 8:29 AM on July 14, 2009

hifiparasol, that was fantastic.
posted by Mali at 8:42 AM on July 14, 2009

The author of this story is Internet celebrity Leonard Richardson, who also (with his wife Sumana Harihareswara) recently edited a creative commons-licensed anthology of sci-fi short stories: Thoughtcrime Experiments. Other recent leonardr projects worth checking out Roy's Postcards and Dada Chess.

Oh, and here's another short story of his, equally awesome, published last year in Futurismic.

(Full disclosure: I ate short ribs at Leonard's apartment on Sunday.)
posted by aparrish at 9:11 AM on July 14, 2009 [4 favorites]

Tark's right, motel blanket can be scratchy. I didn't know that possession of more than 5 gallons of Red Bull was a Federal offense though. The more you know!
posted by bonehead at 9:11 AM on July 14, 2009

It's a James Agee reference: Let Us Now Praise Famous Men.
posted by sciurus at 9:15 AM on July 14, 2009

Fantastic stuff!
posted by klangklangston at 9:19 AM on July 14, 2009

I think the internet could close up shop now, and I'd be satisfied. Awesome dinosaurs are awesome.
posted by five fresh fish at 9:24 AM on July 14, 2009

Metafilter: Not . . . made of biting.
posted by shmegegge at 9:56 AM on July 14, 2009

oh man, too many:

Metafilter: What he said. Also, you're insane!
posted by shmegegge at 9:57 AM on July 14, 2009

It's a James Agee reference: Let Us Now Praise Famous Men.

Based on the info in that link, wouldn't it be an Ecclesiasticus reference?

The title is from a passage in Ecclesiasticus that begins, "Let us now praise famous men, and our fathers that begat us."
posted by mikepop at 10:07 AM on July 14, 2009

That was awesome. Thank you!
posted by brand-gnu at 10:08 AM on July 14, 2009

I know I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up, but I would have liked it so much better if it were an actual James Agee parody, accompanied by black-and-white photographs of solemn, sun-leathery, poverty-hardened dinos staring out toward the horizon with squalling diaperless children in their laps.
posted by Powerful Religious Baby at 10:13 AM on July 14, 2009

That was fantastic. Thanks for giving me a new author to follow in Leonard Richardson.
posted by misha at 10:32 AM on July 14, 2009

That was, indeed, awesome. Thanks for sharing.
posted by Caduceus at 10:39 AM on July 14, 2009

Do dinosaurs have laps?
posted by blue_beetle at 10:50 AM on July 14, 2009

OK, who here, upon opening the link, immediately googled/wikipedia'd "Thymomenoraptor?"

Who here was a little skeptical about the remainder of the story upon finding no results (other than references to the story) for "Thymomenoraptor?"
posted by lekvar at 11:44 AM on July 14, 2009

I think the idea is that after they left for Mars the dinosaurs continued evolving into other species.
posted by danny the boy at 12:10 PM on July 14, 2009

A provacative piece from the same webzine: Was There Ever A Dinosaur Civilization?
posted by Guy_Inamonkeysuit at 12:13 PM on July 14, 2009

Provocative, that is. *sigh*
posted by Guy_Inamonkeysuit at 12:14 PM on July 14, 2009

lekvar: yes, but over the past few million years spent on Mars, they have done a bit of evolving:

"Triceratops died out when your ancestors were tree shrews," said Entippa. He turned over the spark plug, looking for cracks. "The chasmosaurs were the only ceratopsians who made it to Mars. And then they split into the alethinosaurs and the bradupeithids." He set the spark plug down on the motel towel.

Duh.
posted by Barry B. Palindromer at 2:02 PM on July 14, 2009

Duh.
posted by Barry B. Palindromer

Duh, indeed.

But I was talking about the immediate reaction of my inner dino-nerd. The more rational parts of me kept reading and did indeed stumble across that very paragraph.

Thank little green apples for suspended disbelief, 'cause that was an awesome story!
posted by lekvar at 2:26 PM on July 14, 2009

Hurray!
Thanks for the link.
posted by Catch at 2:34 PM on July 14, 2009

If you haven't read the story yet, and just the praise in this thread, here is another taste to entice you:

"You literally killed a guy and ate him. You've confirmed the worst dinosaur stereotype imaginable. There will be riots in the streets."

"He was going to make us fight to the death!" said Tark. "I made an executive decision."

Awesome story.
posted by jabberjaw at 4:32 PM on July 14, 2009

Leonard has written some bonus material to his awesome tale.
posted by ntk at 5:44 PM on July 14, 2009 [1 favorite]

I was reading this earlier today (I'm a big Strange Horizons fan, and contributor) and it is made of awesome. There's a little part of me that wonders if the invention of infernokrusher had anything to do with the genesis of this story. There's even a Truckasaurus callout.
posted by joannemerriam at 5:59 PM on July 14, 2009 [1 favorite]

The deleted scene. Deleted because The Strange Horizons editors asked me to un-kill Cass, cut the length of the story, and re-submit.

Note to Strange Horizons editors: Awesome Dinosaurs stories can not be too long.
posted by five fresh fish at 7:44 PM on July 14, 2009

Note to Strange Horizons editors: Awesome Dinosaurs stories can not be too long.

I second the person above who said it was a bit rushed. I'd totally read the novel based on this story, though. At least twice.
posted by not that girl at 8:27 PM on July 14, 2009

I am so ambivalent about things like this. On the one hand, it's awesome. On the other hand, it reminds me that I am not as awesome.

Conflicted!
posted by Scattercat at 8:38 PM on July 14, 2009 [1 favorite]