Me & Mrs. Palin

September 21, 2009 8:59 AM

After Tripp was born, Sarah would pay more attention to our son than she would to her own baby, Trig. Sarah has a weird sense of humor. When she came home from work, Bristol and I would be holding Trig and Tripp. Sarah would call Trig—who was born with Down syndrome—'my little Down’s baby.' But I couldn’t believe it when she would come over to us and sometimes say, playing around, 'No, I don’t want the retarded baby—I want the other one,' and pick up Tripp. That was just her—even her kids were used to it.
posted by Zambrano (224 comments total)

By Levi Johnston

Nope.
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 9:00 AM on September 21, 2009 [21 favorites]

Ok, good.
posted by fuq at 9:01 AM on September 21, 2009

I don't know if I trust someone who has to have his last name tattooed on his arm. What's that for, in case he forgets?
posted by desjardins at 9:01 AM on September 21, 2009 [5 favorites]

Ite then.
posted by basicchannel at 9:02 AM on September 21, 2009

The first thing Sarah said to me at the hotel was “You gotta cut your hair.” I told her I didn’t want to—I had a mullet at the time—but she finally got me to do it.

Finally, Sarah Palin as a positive force.
posted by porn in the woods at 9:06 AM on September 21, 2009 [55 favorites]

No, I don't want the retarded Vice President -- I want the other one.
posted by hanoixan at 9:06 AM on September 21, 2009 [189 favorites]

While I like Levi's ability to speak and think for himself, I suspect he's now just trying to extend his 15 minutes, just like Sarah was when she started the "death panel" rumor.
posted by mccarty.tim at 9:06 AM on September 21, 2009 [3 favorites]

I'm confused.
posted by diogenes at 9:07 AM on September 21, 2009

No, I don't want the retarded Vice President -- I want the other one.

You're gonna have to clarify that, I think.
posted by xedrik at 9:07 AM on September 21, 2009 [12 favorites]

I WANT TO BELIEVE.
posted by mazola at 9:08 AM on September 21, 2009 [3 favorites]

C'mon Levi. Just do the nude spread and leave us all alone. That's all we cared about from the beginning. John McCain's sole purpose for nominating Fluffy the Wonder Dog was to get you a book deal and a nude spread. The wheels of power just keep on turnin...
posted by msbutah at 9:08 AM on September 21, 2009 [5 favorites]

I read this article. I'm always on the fence about Vanity Fair. Vanity Fair printing this article made me feel bad for Sarah Palin. I didn't think that was possible. (Though I loved the piece about William Manchester's book on Kennedy's assassination -- though again it made me feel scared for our current president.)
posted by ClaudiaCenter at 9:08 AM on September 21, 2009 [1 favorite]

We already talked about this, right? Or is this another Vanity Fair article about Levi?
posted by diogenes at 9:09 AM on September 21, 2009

Levi Johnston: ...14:57...14:58...14:59...
posted by LakesideOrion at 9:09 AM on September 21, 2009

Emotional. Could someone please make a Three Levi Moon shirt?
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 9:10 AM on September 21, 2009 [2 favorites]

Even if I dislike Sarah Palin, I'm very reluctant to give any credit to such a bottom-feeder as Johnston, whose only merit in life appears to have been to stick his dick into her daughter.

Remembers "death panels".

OK, I'll give him credit.
posted by Skeptic at 9:11 AM on September 21, 2009 [5 favorites]

Ignorant trash shares dirty laundry about more prominent, and more ignorant, trash. Pictures at 11.

This filthy orgy of cynically self-serving press availabilities, slanders, and dignity-free gossipmongering is the only lasting legacy of McCain's candidacy. I wonder how he feels about that?
posted by BigLankyBastard at 9:13 AM on September 21, 2009 [1 favorite]

LOLPALIN

fuck this shit, I hated Sarah Palin ever since I knew who she was, but what's the point any more? Make sure the things she agitates for gain no political ground, but she and her entourage deserve no attention.
posted by idiopath at 9:15 AM on September 21, 2009 [2 favorites]

...the only lasting legacy of McCain's candidacy.

McCain who?
posted by rokusan at 9:15 AM on September 21, 2009

I'm sure it's been posted before, but I'll take any chance I can to post Something Awful's series of articles written by Levi "HOckey" Johnston.

Bristol was all blah blah blah gods plan this and blah blah blah a brother for my other son that her mom gave some crazy ass name like tranquilizer or some shit. I don't know what the fuck is up with that but that baby sucked anyway it had fetal alcohol syndrome or some shit. Mrs. Palin parades that baby around like its hers and even feeds it from those sweet ass titties shes got so im cool with that.

Maybe I need to get me some fetal alcohol you know what I mean. Drank that shit down and then chug on Mrs. Palin's titties.
posted by Optimus Chyme at 9:16 AM on September 21, 2009 [12 favorites]

He was given the name Trig Paxson Van Palin because Paxson was Todd’s favorite place to snow-machine in Alaska, and because of the rock band Van Halen.

Heh.
posted by porn in the woods at 9:16 AM on September 21, 2009 [14 favorites]

Agreed, rokusan. Seems like none of the remaining republicans seem to care much for McCain. The general sentiment seems to be that Palin lost to Obama.
posted by mccarty.tim at 9:17 AM on September 21, 2009

I thought Vanity Fair was a serious magazine? This is gossipy trash. It's gossipy trash I just spent 30 minutes reading carefully and with zeal, but that's my problem. When did Vanity Fair become People?
posted by xmutex at 9:17 AM on September 21, 2009 [4 favorites]

This is gonna be good times on Metafilter. I count 8 actionable items in the first 18 comments.

Cue the MeTa! Get ready to rock.
posted by fourcheesemac at 9:18 AM on September 21, 2009 [2 favorites]

He was given the name Trig Paxson Van Palin because Paxson was Todd’s favorite place to snow-machine in Alaska, and because of the rock band Van Halen.

I had no idea Squidbillies was a documentary
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 9:18 AM on September 21, 2009 [19 favorites]

Optimus, I loved those columns (everyone should read them) and was amazed by how similar in feel the Vanity Fair article was to them.
posted by ignignokt at 9:19 AM on September 21, 2009

LakesideOrion: Levi Johnston: ...14:57...14:58...14:59...

Did you just link to '15 minutes of fame' on Wikipedia? So that your subtle reference to this little-known term wouldn't go over all our heads?
posted by shakespeherian at 9:20 AM on September 21, 2009 [36 favorites]

“I don’t know if I want to go on this trip,” I told her. I’m a country guy and I didn’t want to be involved with anything that would put me in front of thousands of people.

Two paragraphs in and already he has undermined what little credibility he may have had.

Good night folks!
posted by munchingzombie at 9:20 AM on September 21, 2009

NO!

MORE!

PALIN!

AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
posted by Afroblanco at 9:22 AM on September 21, 2009 [3 favorites]

shakespeherian: "Did you just link to '15 minutes of fame' on Wikipedia?"

I think this is the meta moment where fifteen minutes has finished its fifteen minutes.
posted by idiopath at 9:22 AM on September 21, 2009 [21 favorites]

The general sentiment seems to be that Palin lost to Obama.

Which explains her current strategy: speaking out to voters via social media.

I keep waiting for Palin's 2010 campaign slogan to emerge: "She May Not Be Perfect, But She's Good Enough For US."
posted by zarq at 9:23 AM on September 21, 2009

I think this is the meta moment where fifteen minutes has finished its fifteen minutes.

So 15 minutes has jumped the shark?
posted by cashman at 9:23 AM on September 21, 2009 [4 favorites]

Sarah would call Trig—who was born with Down syndrome—“my little Down’s baby.” But I couldn’t believe it when she would come over to us and sometimes say, playing around, “No, I don’t want the retarded baby—I want the other one,” and pick up Tripp.

OK, deep breath. I'm actually going to defend Sarah Palin on this one. Everybody hold on.

Until you're the parent or caregiver of a special needs child, you likely won't understand the sense of humor you develop about the issue. It's a defense mechanism, nothing more, just like the dark, evil humor that ER nurses, cops and firefighters develop. I've seen incredibly loving, supporting parents refer to their own children as "the Downy kid," and my wife and I regularly laugh at my autistic son's obsessive tics. If you're not laughing and loving and accepting, you're quickly going crazy, and then you're not helping anyone.

All right, I'm back.

SARAH PALIN IS A JACKASS.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 9:24 AM on September 21, 2009 [74 favorites]

More of Levi's thoughtful musings: "But I live to play hockey. I like to go camping and hang out with the boys, do some fishing, shoot some shit and just fuckin' chillin' I guess. Ya fuck with me I'll kick [your] ass."*
posted by porn in the woods at 9:24 AM on September 21, 2009

I think keyboard cat played off the jumping shark of fifteen minutes of fame.

What this equation leaves us with is beyond my mind to grasp.
posted by josher71 at 9:25 AM on September 21, 2009 [4 favorites]

I think keyboard cat played off the jumping shark of fifteen minutes of fame.

What this equation leaves us with is beyond my mind to grasp.

Imma let your mind try to grasp it, but I just gotta say that the dramatic chipmunk turning to see the keyboard cat play off the jumping shark of fifteen minutes of fame was the best of all time yo.
posted by cashman at 9:29 AM on September 21, 2009 [26 favorites]

Van Palin ... Van Halen

OK, that's funny.

Dude.
posted by R. Mutt at 9:30 AM on September 21, 2009 [6 favorites]

I agree with Cool Papa Bell. Humour, sick as it is, is the most likely scenario.

Besides, there is so much more interesting (and much of it verifiable) in that article.

And I have little doubt we'll see Levi in some D-grade movie in the next couple years. Name is recognizable, he's a good-looking athletic young guy. There's money built into his history. He just needs someone to capitalize on it.
posted by Kickstart70 at 9:30 AM on September 21, 2009

Str8 Outta Wasilla, crazy mother fucker named Levi.
posted by The Straightener at 9:31 AM on September 21, 2009 [10 favorites]

I thought Vanity Fair was a serious magazine?

It's always been about splashy high-end perfume ads and expensive Annie Leibovitz photo shoots interspersed with worshipful celebrity features and "bombshell" exposés by "famous" writers. The ads and photo shoots always take up more of the real estate than the serious articles do.

Anyhow, Levi ..... very nice to look at, but boy, he needs to enjoy it while it lasts.
posted by blucevalo at 9:31 AM on September 21, 2009 [3 favorites]

"But I live to play hockey. I like to go camping and hang out with the boys, do some fishing, shoot some shit and just fuckin' chillin' I guess. Ya fuck with me I'll kick [your] ass."

Imagine the media and Republican reaction if Obama had a daughter who dated somebody who talked like that.
posted by Pope Guilty at 9:31 AM on September 21, 2009 [35 favorites]

I still stand by this statement made over 10 months ago.

Unfortunately she's not going away. And Levi is not to blame for her staying power in the media.
posted by leftcoastbob at 9:31 AM on September 21, 2009

cashman: "Imma let your mind try to grasp it, but I just gotta say that the dramatic chipmunk turning to see the keyboard cat play off the jumping shark of fifteen minutes of fame was the best of all time yo."

As the volume of the information firehose increases, the number of metaphors for "no longer relevant" geometrically expands.
posted by idiopath at 9:31 AM on September 21, 2009 [4 favorites]

After the nomination, Sarah and Todd wouldn’t go anywhere together unless the cameras were out. They’re good on television, but once the cameras would leave they didn’t talk to each other. In all the time Bristol and I were together, I’ve never seen them sleep in the same bedroom. (I don’t know how she got pregnant.)

Now what is that supposed to mean?
posted by caddis at 9:32 AM on September 21, 2009

Now what is that supposed to mean?

Bristol tried to teach him, but too many hockey concussions and it didn't sink in (so to speak).
posted by Kickstart70 at 9:36 AM on September 21, 2009

rokusan : McCain who?

Y'know, the french-fry guy, who ran (at least, in the primaries) against the ketchup guy once upon a time.


Cool Papa Bell : OK, deep breath. I'm actually going to defend Sarah Palin on this one. Everybody hold on.

I loathe the woman, and in this case, I'll defend her for the far-less-PC reason 99% of us think but won't admit... I would have had it aborted. Not a millisecond's hesitation, no moral dilemma whatsoever. The fact that she didn't... Well, I don't know if that speaks more of her compassion or of her ignorance, but she made a choice that I couldn't have.
posted by pla at 9:36 AM on September 21, 2009 [2 favorites]

Obama would of course institute a picking-up panel to determine which babies could be picked up, for how long, whether there should be a media presence for the pick up and whether there should be some kind of affirmitive action to give both babies an equal portion of pick up time. He's probably got a czar on it.
posted by Artw at 9:37 AM on September 21, 2009 [3 favorites]

Imagine the media and Republican reaction if Obama had a daughter who dated somebody who talked like that.

This, a million times over. Or if he had W's grades and failed business resume, or jumped from Hollywood celebrity into politics like Reagan, or if he had told anybody -- and I mean anybody -- on the floor of the U.S. Senate to "go fuck [themselves]" like Cheney. The obvious (racial) double standards are nauseating, but what's worse is how damn invisible they are to some folks.

Now, back to the gossip rag Vanity Fair...
posted by joe lisboa at 9:38 AM on September 21, 2009 [18 favorites]

What is wrong with Republicans? Can't they see that this Palin person has not got the slightest shred of a brain in her head? My god, you guys -- all you have to do is look at her. She is brain-free.
posted by Guy_Inamonkeysuit at 9:38 AM on September 21, 2009 [4 favorites]

she made a choice that I couldn't have

She had no real choice. Even if she considered it, that would have doomed her political career right down to mayor or some shitty little Alaskan town.
posted by Kickstart70 at 9:39 AM on September 21, 2009 [2 favorites]

I'd like you all to meet my newborn child, Tarp Michelin Goodwrench Blank.
posted by FelliniBlank at 9:40 AM on September 21, 2009 [4 favorites]

Kickstart70: And I have little doubt we'll see Levi in some D-grade movie in the next couple years. Name is recognizable, he's a good-looking athletic young guy. There's money built into his history. He just needs someone to capitalize on it.

Ten-to-one it'll be from the Scary Movie/Epic Movie/Date Movie folks, or else National Lampoon, or else the people who keep making Paris Hilton vehicles like The Hottie and the Nottie.
posted by shakespeherian at 9:40 AM on September 21, 2009

I loathe the woman, and in this case, I'll defend her for the far-less-PC reason 99% of us think but won't admit... I would have had it aborted. Not a millisecond's hesitation, no moral dilemma whatsoever. The fact that she didn't... Well, I don't know if that speaks more of her compassion or of her ignorance, but she made a choice that I couldn't have.

I don't understand what this means. From her perspective there was no choice to be made.
posted by dirtdirt at 9:41 AM on September 21, 2009

While this is obviously a flawed insight (being that it is obviously from not the brightest kid, who is clearly trying to extend his 15 minutes and doesn't seem to be aware of it), it is still an unfiltered insight from someone with an absurd amount of proximity. And for those who are lambasting him for breaking a circle of trust of some sort (which has some validity) he was still someone who was completely thrown out of the picture the minute the campaign was over.

And it is a picture of Sarah that seems to re-enforce every one's worst suspicions about her character and motivation, which were very much just observational from the outside instead of the inside.
posted by Lacking Subtlety at 9:42 AM on September 21, 2009 [7 favorites]

These people name their kids after snow machines and hockey equipment - WTF do you expect?
posted by futureisunwritten at 9:44 AM on September 21, 2009 [6 favorites]

I've heard people say that too much of anything is not good for you, baby. But, I don't know about that. As many times as we've posted about Sarah Palin and Joked about Sarah Palin and mocked Sarah Palin, it doesn't seem to me like it's enough. It's just not enough, baby. It's just not enough. Oh, oh, babe. Metafilter can't get enough of Sarah Palin. I don't know, I don't know why we can't get enough of Sarah Palin.
posted by stavrogin at 9:44 AM on September 21, 2009

OK, so what's the point of this post? Really?
posted by JeffK at 9:45 AM on September 21, 2009 [1 favorite]

There is no amount of Palin FPPs I will stop at if it reduces her, and her fellow-travellers', credibility even a single unit of credibility. (The unit of credibility is the "credibit".)
posted by DU at 9:46 AM on September 21, 2009 [8 favorites]

I don’t know how [Palin] got pregnant.

Abstinence-only sex ed served you well, Levi.
posted by incessant at 9:52 AM on September 21, 2009 [22 favorites]

JeffK: "OK, so what's the point of this post? Really?"

Flagged as "weariness unto death".
posted by Joe Beese at 9:52 AM on September 21, 2009 [2 favorites]

Honestly, none of us need to know this. It's juicy, gratifying gossip, but we don't need to know this. No matter how badly Obama and his family would have been treated if this were his drama, or how awful Palin is as a human being, this is just unnecessary. She's barely relevant in our culture, and by keeping her name up there in the headlines, it means she gains more than she loses.
posted by saturnine at 9:55 AM on September 21, 2009 [1 favorite]

Fair enough, DU, fair enough.
posted by JeffK at 9:55 AM on September 21, 2009

Sarah Palin deserves to be ridiculed.
posted by Ratio at 9:56 AM on September 21, 2009 [1 favorite]

OK, so what's the point of this post? Really?
Two Minute Hate

Shitting on Sarah Palin is like some kind of Metafilter gang tattoo.
posted by DWRoelands at 9:56 AM on September 21, 2009 [6 favorites]

DU, for those who think Sarah Palin has credibility, there is nothing she or anyone could do to undermine it-- short of her getting an abortion. And even then...
posted by stavrogin at 9:57 AM on September 21, 2009

I used to get confused about "Tripp" and "Trig" and "Track," but now I just call them all "Spud."
posted by klangklangston at 9:58 AM on September 21, 2009 [13 favorites]

Having known my share of redneck-spawn - and the inside of a campaign or two - I find this story entirely believable. Not interesting or worthy of my time (which I'll never get back, alas), but believable.
posted by klanawa at 9:58 AM on September 21, 2009 [1 favorite]

It's kind of sobering to see so much assassination applied to such little character.

If there is one good thing to come out of this, it's the precedent to name my daughter Strapping Young Lad.
posted by vanar sena at 9:58 AM on September 21, 2009 [5 favorites]

She's barely relevant in our culture...

A huge sector of population wants to see her in the White House. She recently contributed to a major derail of a massive policy discussion.

Palin is very relevant. She's stupid and evil. But relevant. What gives her power is denying that. Let her and her compatriots work in secrecy at your peril.
posted by DU at 9:59 AM on September 21, 2009 [18 favorites]

What really stuck out to me was that the middle names were explained, just in case anyone was unsure whether "Easton" might be considered a "real name," but Track, Trig, and Tripp were just left unexplained.

My son's name is Seven Veritas George Explosion. "George" is a family name.
posted by explosion at 9:59 AM on September 21, 2009 [6 favorites]

Now what is that supposed to mean?

He's trying to say Sarah and Todd didn't spend any time together if it could be helped, including not sleeping in the same room or bed. Therefore, he didn't see how they could have procreated without the whole peenor/bagina thing going on.
posted by graventy at 10:00 AM on September 21, 2009 [6 favorites]

She's barely relevant in our culture, and by keeping her name up there in the headlines, it means she gains more than she loses.

She is? In whose culture? metafilter's culture? If culture were measured by metafilter standards, wow, a lot of things would be flagged as irrelevant that aren't.

Not that I don't fervently wish she were irrelevant, but ..... if wishes were horses, etc., etc.
posted by blucevalo at 10:01 AM on September 21, 2009

Shitting on Sarah Palin is like some kind of Metafilter gang tattoo.

So excoriating people for shitting on her is the non-Metafilter gang tattoo?
posted by blucevalo at 10:03 AM on September 21, 2009

So excoriating people for shitting on her is the non-Metafilter gang tattoo?

No, that's the other Metafilter gang tattoo.
posted by mazola at 10:05 AM on September 21, 2009 [5 favorites]

Metafilter gang tattoo: barely relevant in our culture.
posted by ob at 10:05 AM on September 21, 2009 [1 favorite]

Which side are the hipsters?
posted by Artw at 10:06 AM on September 21, 2009 [1 favorite]

I loathe the woman, and in this case, I'll defend her for the far-less-PC reason 99% of us think but won't admit... I would have had it aborted. Not a millisecond's hesitation, no moral dilemma whatsoever. The fact that she didn't... Well, I don't know if that speaks more of her compassion or of her ignorance, but she made a choice that I couldn't have.

The compassion to bear a retarded child, then apparently totally ignore it? It's like the responsibility for nuturing life begins at conception, but ends at birth.
posted by snofoam at 10:06 AM on September 21, 2009 [4 favorites]

I don't think there was any excoriating going on, was there? "Do we really need yet another shit-on-Palin thread?" is an honest question. And it seems that a lot of MeFites feel that the answer is yes. So, shit away!
posted by JeffK at 10:07 AM on September 21, 2009 [1 favorite]

Where's my tattoo, dammit?
posted by blucevalo at 10:08 AM on September 21, 2009 [1 favorite]

she'll be a perfect president for middle america - the rest of us, no, but she's a woman of the people - she has their careless observance of social norms, their lack of involvement in their own lives, and their innocent self-centeredness down pat - they bluff and bluff for years like that and if they don't get away with it, manage to act surprised and outraged that their prepackaged life has come apart

welcome to the new america - she pretends to govern and we pretend to follow
posted by pyramid termite at 10:08 AM on September 21, 2009 [2 favorites]

First of all, I'm pissed off that I read this article. What trash. Can I get my twenty-minutes back?

Secondly, since I did read it, is it a thing in Alaska to give your kid a really stupid middle name?
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 10:08 AM on September 21, 2009

Metafilter: Shit away!
posted by blucevalo at 10:09 AM on September 21, 2009 [2 favorites]

MetaFilter: The other MetaFilter gang tatt... wait, no, that doesn't work.
posted by verb at 10:09 AM on September 21, 2009

blucevalo: "Where's my tattoo, dammit?"

Check the mirror, it's on your ass.
posted by idiopath at 10:09 AM on September 21, 2009 [2 favorites]

The compassion to bear a retarded child, then apparently totally ignore it? It's like the responsibility for nu[r]turing life begins at conception, but ends at birth.

DING!
posted by Madamina at 10:10 AM on September 21, 2009

From little acorns...
posted by Artw at 10:12 AM on September 21, 2009

The hipsters voted for McCain ironically. I believe that was his platform, what with all the talk show hosts calling him a RINO.
posted by mccarty.tim at 10:14 AM on September 21, 2009

I'd vote for Palin if we had some sort of parlimentary no-confidence new election policy so we could just let the insanity pile up for a couple weeks, then throw her out and thus ensure no one who called themself a Republican could win for generations.
posted by haveanicesummer at 10:20 AM on September 21, 2009 [1 favorite]

I'd vote for Palin if we had some sort of parlimentary no-confidence new election policy so we could just let the insanity pile up for a couple weeks, then throw her out and thus ensure no one who called themself a Republican could win for generations.

There seems to be a good chance she'd quit after a couple weeks after deciding she could make more money and have an easier time on 'The View'.
posted by mazola at 10:21 AM on September 21, 2009

MeTa.
posted by Bookhouse at 10:23 AM on September 21, 2009

mccarty.tim: "The hipsters voted for McCain ironically"

Hating hipsters is so last week. Hating single women who knit and own cats is the new black.
posted by idiopath at 10:23 AM on September 21, 2009 [1 favorite]

I don’t know how [Palin] got pregnant.

This is just being a stupid teenager. Teenagers are completely self absorbed and Levi, an example of a not particularly bright one, would miss the elder Palins doing anything unless it was in the same room as him.

I loathe the woman, but if she "never" takes care of Trak or Trig or whatever, is there a nanny? The child is obviously fed and changed, etc - but as it isn't made obvious to him it isn't happening. And I'm sure Bristol acts like she "has to do everything around here" and Levi believes her.

I've had a bright teenager in my household describe dating after the age of 40 as "just looking for companionship" since she couldn't fathom anyone that old and decrepit actually seeking to have sex. Yeah, right.
posted by readery at 10:26 AM on September 21, 2009 [2 favorites]

Dumb ass kid from the woods slangs girlfriend's mother, bitches about free travel to big cities on grounds they were boring. Film at 11.

I can't stand Sarah Palin - really, I mean she gives me chills and makes me want to throw up - but this article actually made me a tiny bit (a very, very tiny bit) sorry for her on the grounds that I've had a daughter with a useless dumbass boyfriend and I can just imagine the kinds of things he could say about our household should anyone at Vanity Fair ever be so desperate as to talk to him. Fortunately, I have no intention of running for office, so we're safe, but still, this whole article is a little unfair and more than a little biased.
posted by mygothlaundry at 10:26 AM on September 21, 2009 [4 favorites]

Levi needs to get an elimination reality show. My concept: a bunch of young first time candidates for Republican positions as representative/senator all live together in a log cabin where Levi is in control. Each week, Levi eliminates one or so of them. At then end, he selects two; one to endorse, and one to start dating. All the tests will be done via wacky challenges, like trying to get a Quebecois Canadian to admit that bilingualism has lead to the moral decay of his society, or seeing who can best link two concepts they draw out of a hat with a conservative spin ("Okay, so you drew... abortion and... the Fair Tax system."). VH1 has taught me this is the respectful, effective way to end someone's fifteen minutes. It has worked for Tila Tequila, and I see no reason why it won't work for Levi.

Big moment during sweeps: A "surprise" meeting with the Palins, including Bristol and child.
posted by mccarty.tim at 10:26 AM on September 21, 2009 [11 favorites]

Vanity Fair is apparently produced for people that would hide a supermarket tabloid inside an issue of Harper's, if the sizes matched.
posted by Halloween Jack at 10:29 AM on September 21, 2009 [17 favorites]

Until you're the parent or caregiver of a special needs child, you likely won't understand the sense of humor you develop about the issue. It's a defense mechanism, nothing more, just like the dark, evil humor that ER nurses, cops and firefighters develop.

Hm. I suppose I could let "the Down's child" slide, but "the retard?" No, it's a bit like adopting a black child and calling him the little and then inserting a hateful epithet. Tossing around disparaging language toward your child because your under stress isn't especially forgivable in my book, and I don't need to have my own cognitively disabled child to judge that is needlessly cruel.
posted by Astro Zombie at 10:36 AM on September 21, 2009 [1 favorite]

"she'll be a perfect president for middle america"

I'm tired of ceding Middle America to these assholes. You're Middle America, I'm Middle America (or, at least, my folks are and I was until I moved to the godless coast)—Obama won Middle America. She's not Middle America, she's Moron America. Hell, she's so far out of America that you have to cross another country to get there. She's not Middle America, she's Backwoods Buttfuck America. She's Stump Jumper America. She's got more in common with Deliverance America than she does with the honest, hard-working middle of America that subsidizes her hypocritical fake-folksy ignorant bullshit. She lives on our largess and has the luxury of campaigning on incoherent moral claims that the rest of us are too damn busy working to worry much about. She's not the middle morally, she's not the middle geographically, she's not even the middle intellectually. She's fringe values and fringe idiocy from a fringe state. Fuck her back to Father Coughlin and A Face in the Crowd.
posted by klangklangston at 10:38 AM on September 21, 2009 [111 favorites]

Here's an idea: let's ignore both of them.
posted by Legomancer at 10:38 AM on September 21, 2009

Here's an idea: let's ignore both of them.

You mean this thread and the MeTa?
posted by mazola at 10:39 AM on September 21, 2009 [2 favorites]

Where did you get the idea that ignoring somebody makes them go away? I ignored her for months and she managed to drop the death panels bomb on us.

As long as somebody is paying attention to her, I would argued that everybody needs to.
posted by Astro Zombie at 10:39 AM on September 21, 2009 [6 favorites]

Hating single women who knit and own cats is the new black.

i agree - knitting cats is painful and messy
posted by pyramid termite at 10:42 AM on September 21, 2009 [11 favorites]

> What is wrong with Republicans? Can't they see that this Palin person has not got the slightest shred of a brain in her head? My god, you guys -- all you have to do is look at her. She is brain-free.

For a lot of people this is a feature, not a bug.
posted by you just lost the game at 10:43 AM on September 21, 2009

"Here's an idea: let's ignore both of them." and the article.. why would anyone go to the trouble and take the time to read something credited to this idiot? I am ashamed of all of you!
posted by HuronBob at 10:44 AM on September 21, 2009 [1 favorite]

Levi needs to get an elimination reality show. My concept: a bunch of young first time candidates for Republican positions as representative/senator all live together in a log cabin where Levi is in control. . . .

Yeah! We can call it Log Cabin Republicans!

No, wait, don't call it that.
posted by The Bellman at 10:50 AM on September 21, 2009 [3 favorites]

I like their middle names and don't understand why they bug people so much.
posted by small_ruminant at 10:52 AM on September 21, 2009

I am glad that instead of her, I voted for Barack Obama to be president of the United States.
posted by drjimmy11 at 10:53 AM on September 21, 2009 [7 favorites]

Hey drjimmy11, what is this "voting" you speak of?
posted by diogenes at 10:56 AM on September 21, 2009

What is wrong with Republicans? Can't they see that this Palin person has not got the slightest shred of a brain in her head? My god, you guys -- all you have to do is look at her. She is brain-free.

A woman that made it to Governor without the help of a rich, connected family or a famous husband? She might be any number of things, but stupid isn't one of them.
posted by gyc at 10:57 AM on September 21, 2009

5000 comments!!! 5000 comments!!!

(Chant to the tune of "4 More Years!!! 4 More Years!!!")
posted by josher71 at 10:57 AM on September 21, 2009

She might be any number of things, but stupid isn't one of them.

No, I'm pretty sure that's one of them.
posted by diogenes at 10:58 AM on September 21, 2009 [24 favorites]

Flagged for "Jesus CHRIST why are we still paying any attention to this woman"?
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 10:58 AM on September 21, 2009 [1 favorite]

I was shocked this came from Vanity Fair. I know it's an interview from his perspective/words from start to finish but it's just really poorly written. What? Dominick Dunne dies and this is what we have left?

If everything is true (I doubt he's lying), I find Sarah more disgusting than ever if she said that about Trig.
posted by stormpooper at 11:00 AM on September 21, 2009

I don't get the hostility directed at Levi. If this is true, shouldn't the country know before next election? It may be made up but it seems in line with what we already know. So what exactly is the problem - that he gets paid for the article? Isn't that also true for many other people who write for these magazines, many of them no brighter than he is? Besides, does it occur to anyone that from Levi's perspective, it may be a little scary that she might become a president, given her capacity for abstract thought and all that?
posted by rainy at 11:01 AM on September 21, 2009

Stupid is definitely one of the things she is, gyc. Haven't you been listening to her? And she quit the governorship of her state -- this is the move of an intelligent person?!
posted by Guy_Inamonkeysuit at 11:03 AM on September 21, 2009

Hey drjimmy11, what is this "voting" you speak of?

It's a process by which the Electoral College, a body of representatives numbering 538 (1 for each Senator and Congressman, plus 3 for the District of Columbia) decide who will be the next President and Vice President of the United States of America.

That drjimmy11 was able to vote for the President is quite an honor. Most of us merely got to put our vote in for electors pledged to our favored candidate.
posted by explosion at 11:04 AM on September 21, 2009 [6 favorites]

A woman that made it to Governor without the help of a rich, connected family or a famous husband?

Which woman governor are you speaking of? There are five, and I'm pretty sure none of them got there because of a rich connected family or famous husband.
posted by blucevalo at 11:04 AM on September 21, 2009

“Humour, sick as it is, is the most likely scenario.”

Reading the article – the big points seem to be she’s talking the whole “pro-family” and “pro-Church” thing (and the hockey mom, outdoorsperson, but not walking the walk. This doesn’t paint a picture of her as a loving parent relieving mental stress, looks more like she’s just checked out.

The question of Palin bashing aside - I think one of the big problems with politicians, although it’s throughout a lot of modern American life, is equating the nice clothes, catered food, etc. etc. with some sort of superior lifestyle.
Out here we had the same thing in our Gov. Blago. Guy is still grasping at fame, still pushing hard to maintain his presence in the public eye. Trying to “clear his name” and sending his wife out on reality t.v.
I mean what the hell is that?
In part I expect it’s folks thinking it’s more important to seem than to be. I go hunting in Alaska. I get a lot of “you’re not from around here” b.s. Like I can’t be a ‘real’ hunter or outdoorsman if I’m not from Alaska. I had some guy say that to me “Well….you’re not from Alaska.” And I stood there with my harvest that I’d taken down with one shot from my very excellent rifle with top of the line optics, that I’d dressed out myself, mud and blood on my boots and my crappy watch, and hauled myself through some very shitty weather, all with well made and well worn tools and zero flashy gear and I said “Yeah, I’m not. So?”

It’s funny that so many people think they get some sort of automatic credit from being somewhere or around something such that they don’t actually have to do it.
If you sit in a governor’s office long enough, you can just ‘be’ a real governor somehow without actually governing. And if you want to get rich – well, hey, just surround yourself with opulent crap and voila!
Like there’s not actual ‘work’ involved. Or even if there is, it’s secondary to the dog and pony crap.
Same thing with everything else, especially parenting. Caught myself a few times when I first became a dad plugged in to some movie or other and ignoring my kid and thought about “well, are you going to actually be a dad and punch the fuck in or are you just going to be a guy who happens to have a kid while you watch t.v.?”

I think pyramid termite has it – there’s a pretension to actual governance and we follow the symbol like it’s some name brand status symbol rather than seeking actual utility from the thing.
Funny part is, even the utility stuff (Carhart for example) is forced into this status mystique game. As though what you wear while you do what you do even matters to what it is you’re doing – as opposed to y’know, doing it well.

Palin deserves all the shit she is handed in is as much as she is a symbol of that, much like Paris Hilton or any other meaningless, empty symbol that interferes with – and seeks to supplant like kudzu – a more useful, productive effort and engagement of our attention.

Bit of a catch-22 really. Pay attention to her, even negatively, you’re buying into that game. Ignore her and who knows what damage can be wrought?
posted by Smedleyman at 11:06 AM on September 21, 2009 [22 favorites]

Sarah Palin is exactly the sort of idiot, mouthing corrupt platitudes, and ignoring anything even vaguely resembling real facts, exactly the sort of idiot that the most vocal branch of the Republican Party loves. Mindless freepers eat her up. Faux News gives her a platform and for many people, that legitimizes her. She's a trainwreck, and made it easier for many thinking Republicans to vote for Obama.

Sarah Palin and her ethical lapses, her lack of intellect, her narrow-mindedness, her continuing propagagtion of outright lies, are fair game. Sarah Palin's baby with Down Syndrome, her daughter's bad taste in baby-daddies, her kids' names are unworthy subjects of attention.

It's a bad idea to give her family more ink. It's just gasoline on a forest fire. Lots of heat, lots of smoke, lots of damage that takes a long time to recover from. The media was cruel to Amy Carter and Chelsea Clinton, while the Bush twins were appallingly behaved with little or no ink. Much as I despise the Bush clan, I think the families of politicians should have privacy.
posted by theora55 at 11:07 AM on September 21, 2009 [3 favorites]

They used to tell us that George Bush likewise wasn't an idiot, and their evidence was that he had become president, as though it were impossible for someone who is not super-intelligent to get elected. Since that point, I have never made any assumptions about the intelligence of our elected officials. As far as I am concerned, every single one of them is a cretin, elected by a cretin nation, until the prove me wrong.
posted by Astro Zombie at 11:17 AM on September 21, 2009 [3 favorites]

Sarah Palin is mildly-educated trailer trash with a disproportionately large ego. Her family is none of my concern, although I do think SHE should be more concerned about them than she apparently is about glomming onto an extra 15 minutes of ridicu...er, fame.
posted by jamstigator at 11:20 AM on September 21, 2009 [2 favorites]

Odd that Levi remembers and mentions such minute details as Sarah's favorite Taco Bell entree, but never once mentioned anything about Bristol's (alleged) five-month bout with mononucleosis. Because, according to the "timeline," it was while she was ill with mono that Levi impregnated her. Seems like he would've mentioned something along the lines of Bristol was infectious, but he didn't care, he sneaked over to her aunt's house and they schtupped anyway... (Yeah, I'm in the "Bristol, not Sarah, gave birth to Trig" camp.)
posted by Oriole Adams at 11:26 AM on September 21, 2009 [1 favorite]

If she is to use her families as props for her hard right politics, as she has done repeatedly, then her actual parenting behavior becomes a reasonable subject of discussion. Unless there is reason to believe that Levi has lied -- and nobody has presented any -- then his detaling the inner-working of Palin's family are of interest and useful when dealing with a woman who presumes to tell other adults about their responsibilities as parents and also presumes to tell other adults about whether or not they have any right to marriage.
posted by Astro Zombie at 11:27 AM on September 21, 2009 [8 favorites]

It's about goddamn time someone steps up to end this travesty. I speak, of course, about the appalling tendency to snowmobiles as "snow machines," which they apparently think makes them sound like virile tough guys.

A snowmobile is a vehicle you plant your sedentary ass on and ride across the snow at dangerous speeds, spewing noxious fumes and terrorizing your neighbors and their dogs as you as you pretend to be engaging in actual exercise and "enjoying nature."

A snow machine is the big honking thing that makes snow at ski resorts.
posted by FelliniBlank at 11:30 AM on September 21, 2009 [23 favorites]

to refer to snowmobiles, Jesus.
posted by FelliniBlank at 11:30 AM on September 21, 2009 [1 favorite]

until the prove me wrong

Get a brain, moran!
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 11:34 AM on September 21, 2009 [2 favorites]

Jesus never actually referred to snowmobiles. It's a mistranslation from the Greek. The Syriac Bibnle makes it clear that was is actually be referred to is "ice chariots."
posted by Astro Zombie at 11:35 AM on September 21, 2009 [14 favorites]

beING referred to.
posted by Astro Zombie at 11:36 AM on September 21, 2009 [2 favorites]

This thread reads better grammatically incorrect.
posted by mazola at 11:37 AM on September 21, 2009

I infected you with my contagious typos!
posted by FelliniBlank at 11:37 AM on September 21, 2009 [1 favorite]

Zamboni zombie is the worst...
posted by Artw at 11:39 AM on September 21, 2009 [1 favorite]

shakespeherian: Let's just say I wasn't optimistic about the intelligence levels of people rushing to post on this topic. Suspicion confirmed.
posted by LakesideOrion at 11:43 AM on September 21, 2009

Oh great. You make one joke about the Syriac Bible and suddenly you're think box is defective.
posted by Astro Zombie at 11:45 AM on September 21, 2009 [1 favorite]

And by that, I meant "your."

It's the typos that are making us look stupid, isn't it?
posted by Astro Zombie at 11:47 AM on September 21, 2009

MetaFilter: It's the typos that are making us look stupid, isn't it?
posted by mazola at 11:49 AM on September 21, 2009 [3 favorites]

Wait, Astro Zombie thinks I'm a detective?
posted by box at 11:55 AM on September 21, 2009 [1 favorite]

You're not?
posted by Astro Zombie at 11:56 AM on September 21, 2009

I try to keep it a secret. Mostly because I'm not very good at it.
posted by box at 11:58 AM on September 21, 2009

LakesideOrion: shakespeherian: Let's just say I wasn't optimistic about the intelligence levels of people rushing to post on this topic. Suspicion confirmed.

I don't get it.
posted by shakespeherian at 12:14 PM on September 21, 2009 [1 favorite]

In semi-related news, the woman who runs the Palin's Deceptions blog (dedicated to the proposition that Sarah is not Trig's mother) was outed by Palin fans and has stopped posting due to threats against her and her family.
posted by Biblio at 12:15 PM on September 21, 2009

Jesus don't want me for a snowmobile
Snowmobiles were never made like me
Don't expect to me to plan
For all the races in Ketchikan
Don't ever ask a sled of me
posted by cortex at 12:21 PM on September 21, 2009 [6 favorites]

It's about goddamn time someone steps up to end this travesty. I speak, of course, about the appalling tendency to snowmobiles as "snow machines," which they apparently think makes them sound like virile tough guys.

I just about got into a fight once by calling these vehicles "Turbo Toboggans"... Feel free to use that one.
posted by Deep Dish at 12:22 PM on September 21, 2009 [4 favorites]

dedicated to the proposition that Sarah is not Trig's mother

Is there a catchy "birther"-like name for this group? Triggers perhaps? If no one's said that before, credit me for coining this in the inevitable biographies please.
posted by haveanicesummer at 12:31 PM on September 21, 2009 [1 favorite]

Now I want a Special Snowmachine t-shirt.
posted by FelliniBlank at 12:32 PM on September 21, 2009 [2 favorites]

There were Secret Service guys, snipers on rooftops, and dog-sniffing people with big AKs

Reminds me of this.
posted by weirdoactor at 12:36 PM on September 21, 2009 [6 favorites]

Secret Service guys would be totally cooler if they each had a bunch of RPG-7s.
posted by Artw at 12:40 PM on September 21, 2009 [2 favorites]

shakespeherian: Exactly.
posted by LakesideOrion at 12:42 PM on September 21, 2009

Why is everyone so upset about a young man writing a behind-the-scenes portrayal of the life of America's 45th President before she became president? He may not be the most eloquent voice, granted, but when historians are researching President Palin's years in the Oval Office, this piece will be referred to in footnote after footnote.
posted by cmonkey at 12:50 PM on September 21, 2009 [5 favorites]

Heh.

Like he won't be offed and written out of history in some Stalinesque purge the moment she has the ability to do so.
posted by Artw at 12:53 PM on September 21, 2009 [1 favorite]

why would anyone go to the trouble and take the time to read something credited to this idiot? I am ashamed of all of you!

HuronBob speaks truth, as he always does. I'm ashamed.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 1:01 PM on September 21, 2009

The solution here is obvious: Jerry Springer.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 1:02 PM on September 21, 2009

dedicated to the proposition that Sarah is not Trig's mother

Is there a catchy "birther"-like name for this group? Triggers perhaps? If no one's said that before, credit me for coining this in the inevitable biographies please.

Trig Truthers.
posted by Oriole Adams at 1:44 PM on September 21, 2009 [1 favorite]

LakesideOrion: Exactly.

I'm glad we had this talk. Now get going, or you'll be late.
posted by shakespeherian at 1:46 PM on September 21, 2009 [1 favorite]

There were Secret Service guys, snipers on rooftops, and dog-sniffing people with big AKs

Reminds me of this.

Seriously man, all the other issues aside (and I'm weirdly interested in the whole Palin deal, but then again I'm a terrible person) you're a big bad ass Alaskan hunter and you think the Secret Service carries AK-47s? Fuck, maybe he's right and they landed in Peshwar by accident.
posted by Divine_Wino at 1:51 PM on September 21, 2009 [1 favorite]

This story is worth it just for sentences like this one: "As we walked out, I started talking to Rex Butler, the lawyer who had taken on her case, and Tank Jones, a private investigator who worked with him"
posted by Astro Zombie at 1:51 PM on September 21, 2009 [2 favorites]

Zamboni zombie is the worst...

No way. The bobsled zombies that come in his wake are worse. You can easily take out Zamboni zombie with spikeweed.
posted by cereselle at 1:52 PM on September 21, 2009 [4 favorites]

Seriously man, all the other issues aside (and I'm weirdly interested in the whole Palin deal, but then again I'm a terrible person) you're a big bad ass Alaskan hunter and you think the Secret Service carries AK-47s? Fuck, maybe he's right and they landed in Peshwar by accident.

They don't carry AK-47's. I know this from a case I did once.
posted by Ironmouth at 1:52 PM on September 21, 2009 [1 favorite]

cereselle: No way. The bobsled zombies that come in his wake are worse. You can easily take out Zamboni zombie with spikeweed.

Use a jalapeno to remove the ice and thus prevent the bobsleds from even appearing.
posted by shakespeherian at 1:57 PM on September 21, 2009 [3 favorites]

Astro Zombie: Hm. I suppose I could let "the Down's child" slide, but "the retard?" No, it's a bit like adopting a black child and calling him the little and then inserting a hateful epithet. Tossing around disparaging language toward your child because your under stress isn't especially forgivable in my book, and I don't need to have my own cognitively disabled child to judge that is needlessly cruel."

We had a neighbor, swear to god, who did this. They were foster parents, and were trying to adopt this adorable african american baby...whom she fondly referred to as "her little nigger baby". The entire neighborhood was shocked. I'm sure I'm not the only one who told CPS during our interview that perhaps it was the wrong home for the little girl.

Irony....when their house was forclosed upon, it was purchased by the most wonderful African American family.

But, back to the two minute Failin' Palin hatefest.
posted by dejah420 at 1:57 PM on September 21, 2009 [1 favorite]

I guess I would feel the "two minutes of hate" meme would be appropriate if, as in 1984, we were being directed to have unthinking feelings of animosity toward a former political ally who had been scapegoated for the failings of a totalitarial regime. As it is, it sounds like it's just meant to drown out criticisms by linking them to a literary creation that we all mutually agree represents a pretty unfair circumstance.
posted by Astro Zombie at 2:04 PM on September 21, 2009 [1 favorite]

I assume that "dog-sniffing people" are people who get down on all fours and sniff dogs' butts. Right?
posted by Crabby Appleton at 2:04 PM on September 21, 2009 [4 favorites]

I thought this thing was hilarious. I'm all for pointing out what a boner SP is in the hopes that nobody will elect her to anything else again. I also enjoy LJ's stoopid in riding the gravy fame train here to piss off his kid's grandparents.

(Sadly, it probably won't make a difference on the election bit.)
posted by jenfullmoon at 2:06 PM on September 21, 2009

I feel filthy, like I just watched TMZ.
posted by mazola at 2:17 PM on September 21, 2009 [2 favorites]

So ... did they figure out why she quit yet?
posted by chunking express at 2:23 PM on September 21, 2009 [1 favorite]

If she wanted a movie, Bristol and I would go to the video store; if she wanted food, we’d get her something to eat, like a Crunchwrap Supreme from Taco Bell.

lolling so hard at this
posted by Optimus Chyme at 2:26 PM on September 21, 2009

"did they figure out why she quit yet?"

She misunderstood Vince Lombardi's advice.
posted by mikelieman at 2:46 PM on September 21, 2009

This story is worth it just for sentences like this one: "As we walked out, I started talking to Rex Butler, the lawyer who had taken on her case, and Tank Jones, a private investigator who worked with him"

Yeah, the last few paragraphs or so were pretty damn fantastic.

"People keep sayin' Tank and Rex are taking advantage of me, but they haven't steered me wrong yet!"

Uh...yeah. Sure, kid.
posted by graventy at 2:46 PM on September 21, 2009 [1 favorite]

Chunking, we've been over this. It was for the good of Alaska and to escape the media, and to advance her career, and in honor of the troops, and because she likes basketball.
posted by mccarty.tim at 2:58 PM on September 21, 2009 [4 favorites]

If culture were measured by metafilter standards, wow, a lot of things would be flagged as irrelevant that aren't.

But on the upside, Adam Savage would be Pope, and we could get bacon anywhere.
posted by rokusan at 3:00 PM on September 21, 2009 [7 favorites]

I guess I would feel the "two minutes of hate" meme would be appropriate if, as in 1984, we were being directed to have unthinking feelings of animosity toward a former political ally who had been scapegoated for the failings of a totalitarial regime. As it is, it sounds like it's just meant to drown out criticisms by linking them to a literary creation that we all mutually agree represents a pretty unfair circumstance.

But two minutes of hate can stand in as a signifier of almost anything, as Orwell himself surely admitted somewhere in "Politics and the English Language." "My cat scratched me, it was two minutes of hate." "That John Mayer show was the worst two minutes of hate ever." It's the new Godwin.
posted by blucevalo at 3:12 PM on September 21, 2009 [1 favorite]

Y'all are missing the most interesting (and disheartening) part of all this: Sarah Palin's former future-son-in-law and grandbabby-daddy has a publicist, a professional dresser who sends him to photo shoots in Armani suits, and a ghostwriter.

That is, in the end, much more politically interesting than Sarah Palin.
posted by mudpuppie at 3:16 PM on September 21, 2009 [5 favorites]

Sometimes I say to myself: "Self, aren't you tired of gawking at Sarah Palin?"

So far my self has always answered: "Nope! More dirt on the crazy moose lady, please!"
posted by the littlest brussels sprout at 3:26 PM on September 21, 2009 [5 favorites]

I remain utterly convinced that the one person in the Palin household who will leave this life less fucked up than they came in is Trig.
posted by Kickstart70 at 3:42 PM on September 21, 2009 [3 favorites]

Y'know, if someone sent me to get food for them I'd probably pick up a Crunchwrap Supreme from Taco Bell. Probably some malt liquor and a pack of Camels as well.
As for videos, well who can get enough of Basic Instinct 2? "I'm sorry Mrs. Palin, all they had was Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2... boy those babies are cute, eh? No? Well, you liked Roberto Benigni...Rober.. Begin..his name's Rob..the dago, yes in that zany holocaust movie. Well, how about Pinocchio? He's in that. Uh...yeah, I think it's like the holocaust, yes."
posted by Smedleyman at 4:04 PM on September 21, 2009

In related news:

Dinner with ex-Alaskan governor Sarah Palin goes for $63,500 on eBay.

Palin Foe Frozen Out of Auction When Identity Revealed.

posted by ericb at 4:14 PM on September 21, 2009

Chapter 7: The Palin/Limbaugh Administration, or How America Almost Uninvented Electricity
posted by Rhaomi at 4:19 PM on September 21, 2009

That was poorly written and largely disjointed. I wouldn't be too surprised if it actually were written by a teenager (with editorial cleanup for misspellings and such). It's either that or it was written by a ghostwriter who was trying to make it sound as if it were written by someone who isn't a good writer.
posted by Flunkie at 4:24 PM on September 21, 2009 [1 favorite]

No way Levi wrote that. It needed an "as told to ...... " as part of the byline.
posted by surplus at 4:30 PM on September 21, 2009

Why was it so poorly written? It was full of things like this:

Bristol thought the rumor of her mother’s having an affair with a friend of Todd’s, named Brad, was ridiculous. (I could see that more than I could see Todd cheating on Sarah.) But Bristol thought that Todd was having an affair with a friend of the family. At one point, Bristol heard that Todd tried to separate his bank account from Sarah’s, and she told Sarah.

Sarah Palin has said she’s a hockey mom and a hunter, but [a bunch of stuff that has absolutely nothing to do with what happened when Bristol told Sarah]

Doesn't "what happened when Bristol told Sarah that Todd tried to separate his bank account from Sarah's" seem like something that a ghostwriter should have asked about? And should have included? But no, it's just "she told Sarah", then straight into something completely unrelated, without even so much as a "and it pissed Sarah off".
posted by Flunkie at 4:39 PM on September 21, 2009

Wow, ya'll really need a hobby.

Or a spouse.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 4:46 PM on September 21, 2009

i feel like i need Ritalin after reading that.
it's so ADDish.
posted by liza at 6:19 PM on September 21, 2009

My hobby is to tell other people to get a hobby. My spouses hobby is to rag on Sarah Palin.
posted by tkchrist at 6:52 PM on September 21, 2009

I feel filthy, like I just watched TMZ.

"I'm a LAWYUH!"


<-- secret TMZ watcher
posted by potsmokinghippieoverlord at 7:17 PM on September 21, 2009 [1 favorite]

I think we're being overly harsh and hypocritical regarding Sarah Palin.

I mean, I know I wasn't the only one out there who said "No, I don't want the retarded VP candidate... I want the other one."

(I mean, sure... Biden suffered some brain damage from his stroke, but at least he's not completely hopeless.)
posted by markkraft at 8:07 PM on September 21, 2009

Wow, ya'll really need a hobby.

What if reading all the Sarah Palin mega threads on Metafilter IS our hobby?
posted by amyms at 8:27 PM on September 21, 2009 [2 favorites]

Gotta love the photo that shows Levi seemingly about to step off a building ledge in his Armani. I wonder--is there some subtext there?
posted by thebrokedown at 8:30 PM on September 21, 2009 [2 favorites]

The Syriac Bibnle makes it clear that was is actually be referred to is "ice chariots."

that was a mistranslation/misunderstanding of the common roman street vendors known as "ice carts" - common flavors were appian apple, greek grape and jerusalem artichoke (in the middle east, anyway) - they had pop-ups too, but one called them caesar squeezers at the risk of one's life
posted by pyramid termite at 8:39 PM on September 21, 2009 [4 favorites]

I don't think people should feel ashamed about reading about the Republican candidate for possibly becoming the leader of the free world.

People *SHOULD* know some of the details about her, and thank their respective higher powers -- or themselves -- for seeing to it that she didn't get elected.

And really, it shouldn't stop there. Every day that we keep Sarah Palin and others of her ilk out of the White House is like a gift that keeps on giving.

We must never forgive or forget what the Republican Party did to our country, what they try to do every day, and what they would gladly do to us again, if ever given another chance.
posted by markkraft at 8:42 PM on September 21, 2009 [2 favorites]

I don't understand what this means. From her perspective there was no choice to be made.

Actually, Palin has used the word "choice" to describe her decision to have her baby.
posted by Jaltcoh at 9:49 PM on September 21, 2009 [1 favorite]

I don't think people should feel ashamed about reading about the Republican candidate for possibly becoming the leader of the free world.

Right, she'll run with Ann Coulter and win big!

Seriously, she's on the level of Ann Coulter. Just an opportunist cashing out on a hateful ideology. Governing is actually difficult and saying the wrong thing may land you in prison. Being a public speaker/author is no risk and all reward.
posted by damn dirty ape at 9:56 PM on September 21, 2009

There is no amount of Palin FPPs I will stop at if it reduces her, and her fellow-travellers', credibility even a single unit of credibility. (The unit of credibility is the "credibit".)

Easier in this context to work with bogons so as not to always be dealing with negative values.
posted by Meatbomb at 10:25 PM on September 21, 2009

Now if someone could just figure out why my kid is named "Tater".
posted by zoinks at 10:38 PM on September 21, 2009

By my reckoning, I only had about 20 seconds of hate towards Sarah Palin. Can someone point me at another target so I can use up my remaining minute and 40 seconds?
posted by Spatch at 5:28 AM on September 22, 2009

Sarah is going to Hong Kong to deliver a speech on her views about US foreign policy, "governance, healthcare, and of course, China"

Palin was chosen to speak since she's a possible Republican candidate in the next US presidential election and because of her influential role in politics

Her influential role in politics. That is a phrase to send chills up my spine.

Also, China? Can she see China from her backdoor now? Or maybe she was talking to the hostess at the Golden Pagoda while waiting for her order of Orange Chicken to go?
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 6:40 AM on September 22, 2009

Sarah is going to Hong Kong to deliver a speech on her views about US foreign policy

There may be more going on there than meets the eye.
posted by weirdoactor at 6:49 AM on September 22, 2009 [2 favorites]

Yes, you might be right.

Which would be delicious.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 7:01 AM on September 22, 2009

Secret Life of Gravy: Sarah is going to Hong Kong to deliver a speech on her views about US foreign policy

It's probably confirmation bias, but it strikes me that we (culturally) tend to refer to prominent women by their first names much more often than we do men.
posted by shakespeherian at 7:06 AM on September 22, 2009

Any chance that I might feel ashamed at the prospect of getting my two-minute hate on with Sarah Palin more or less vanished with "death panels." Two minutes? Hey, I'm trying to keep it under two hours.
posted by Halloween Jack at 7:23 AM on September 22, 2009 [4 favorites]

shakespherian: You are right, I'm usually more careful than that.

But back to the practical joke. I'm flummoxed. This is such a peculiar incident that I am eager to see how it will play out. If she has indeed been asked only as a joke, then she will be able to figure that out-- she does have internet access after all. However, throw in an all expenses paid trip to Hong Kong as well as a hefty speaking fee and I can't picture her turning it down. This is, after all, her new chosen profession.

On the other hand, listening to a "joke speaker" what can the audience hope to gain? Will these international money managers listening to her view it as a fabulously camp opportunity and a chance to mock stupid Americans or merely a waste of time? Will the room be filled to bursting or a sea of empty chairs? I imagine there will be a far amount of gawking and sniggering, but honestly if I was a fund manger who had flown half way around the world to compare notes on managing billions of dollars, I don't think I would be interested in what this ditzy broad had to say.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 7:31 AM on September 22, 2009

No worries, I didn't mean it as a callout of any sort.

Re: practical joke, I agree that there's a qualitative difference between a jokey 'We got these numbers from fortune tellers, here are some goofy charts' and 'Please sit and listen to an idiot for half an hour.' It's a different kind of humor. If it is a joke, then I would think the joke would be that she was invited to speak, not the actual existence and attendance of the speech itself.
posted by shakespeherian at 7:43 AM on September 22, 2009

shakespeherian: "we (culturally) tend to refer to prominent women by their first names much more often than we do men."

Adding just a small bit to that derail: How often do you hear a woman referred to by only her last name? I have been in so so so many conversations about public figures where men are referred to by either full name or last name and women are referred to by either full name or first name. It's more a tendency than a hard and fast rule, but once you start paying attention it will drive you bonkers. Congratulations, you may just have a new pet peeve.
posted by idiopath at 10:26 AM on September 22, 2009

I suspect the "name prominent women by their first name rather than their family name" thing is to emphasize that they are women in a position that relatively recently used to be males-only, both de facto and de jure. Since Sarah and Hillary (at least in the US) are names that are almost exclusively given to girls, refering to them by their first names makes it clear that a woman is in the running.

However, I also see how it could be condescending. I've done it a few times without thinking about it, but now that I stop to consider it, it could be a bit like calling a black person "boy." After all, we generally refer to adults who we don't know personally by their last names, and children by their first names.

I guess, as in most things, it all comes down to intent.
posted by mccarty.tim at 10:31 AM on September 22, 2009

It is not just in politics, it happens in art and music and literature, domains where women have hardly been scarce for decades now. And regardless of the intent, the language can make insinuations that are carried with that language.

I detest everything that Palin is trying to do in politics, but when it comes to opposing someone politically I would prefer to steer away from using things like sexism and racism in the process.
posted by idiopath at 10:40 AM on September 22, 2009

mccarty.tim: I suspect the "name prominent women by their first name rather than their family name" thing is to emphasize that they are women in a position that relatively recently used to be males-only, both de facto and de jure. Since Sarah and Hillary (at least in the US) are names that are almost exclusively given to girls, refering to them by their first names makes it clear that a woman is in the running.

'Hillary' I think makes a kind of sense, because it came of vogue when her husband was POTUS and 'Clinton' was taken, as a matter of course, to refer to the President, and now that she's the more prominent of the two, she already has an established name. However, 'Sarah' for Palin doesn't make much sense for me, because other than Michael, I can't think of another prominent Palin, and that should be easy to suss out with context. But there's like a billion Sarahs.
posted by shakespeherian at 10:56 AM on September 22, 2009

We also use first-name-only when we are deliberately ridiculing someone who would normally deserve respect in a formal context. Saddam. Osama.

I suspect that, rather than latent misogyny, informed SLoG's word choice.
posted by rokusan at 12:24 PM on September 22, 2009

rokusan: We also use first-name-only when we are deliberately ridiculing someone who would normally deserve respect in a formal context.

Arnold.

I suspect that, rather than latent misogyny, informed SLoG's word choice.

Again, I wasn't attempting to call out SLoG. I just noticed it and I thought about it felt it worth mentioning.
posted by shakespeherian at 12:34 PM on September 22, 2009

There's a blog about who is Trig's mother? Jeeze. Leave the baby alone. He's got a hard enough life no matter which one his mother.
posted by stormpooper at 12:47 PM on September 22, 2009

How often do you hear a woman referred to by only her last name? I have been in so so so many conversations about public figures where men are referred to by either full name or last name and women are referred to by either full name or first name.

With Palin really I think it's generally last name, although I'm sure her PR prefers first name references for familiarity and down-home feel. Most of the time I see her referred to as Palin, I think. Pelosi? Same thing. Hillary's a special case, since her husband kind of important.

I'm not really sure I know that many more women in politics. Michelle Bachmann is always double-named, because who gives a fuck about some podunk representative. Michelle Obama fits your criteria, but again, Obama is the president.
posted by graventy at 3:27 PM on September 22, 2009

Idiopath:
"Adding just a small bit to that derail: How often do you hear a woman referred to by only her last name? I have been in so so so many conversations about public figures where men are referred to by either full name or last name and women are referred to by either full name or first name. It's more a tendency than a hard and fast rule, but once you start paying attention it will drive you bonkers."

Are you a woman? That statement to me is ridiculous. What other woman politician besides Hillary has a first name calling card? And truly, there are two Clintons, so Hillary is really the de facto reference to her and not her husband. I've never heard Nancy, Sarah, Christine, etc in conversations. It's always Pelosi, Palin, Todd Whitman,etc. Maybe you are way too sensitive to this. What other politicians besides Hillary do you think people just call by their first names? If someone said Sarah to me, I'd have no clue. Say "Palin", that elicits something. Maybe you're just being sensitive. (It's okay, whatever, but think about it)
posted by WilliamMD at 3:42 PM on September 22, 2009

graventy: "I'm not really sure I know that many more women in politics"

Poor choice of wording on my part, I was including artists, entertainers, etc. as public figures.

For example Gertrude Stein is always talked about by full name, never by last name, despite there being no other Stein as notable as her in her niche. Her friend Ernest Hemmingway is often talked about by last name alone.
posted by idiopath at 3:44 PM on September 22, 2009

You can easily take out Zamboni zombie with spikeweed.

Yeah, till your spikeweed fails and you end up with a big sheet of ice replacing your carefully constructed front lines...

Though, TBH, the Pogo Party minigame left me hating those fuckers more.
posted by Artw at 4:05 PM on September 22, 2009 [1 favorite]

Hemmingway is a more unique name than Stein, particularly for authors.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 4:31 PM on September 22, 2009

Yeah, till your spikeweed fails and you end up with a big sheet of ice replacing your carefully constructed front lines...

That's why you upgrade to spikerock asap, that stuff is worth its weight in gold.
posted by Ndwright at 4:41 PM on September 22, 2009

Yoko Ono, Diamanda Galas, Ursula K. LeGuin, Pat Benetar, and Stevie Nyx have quite unique surnames as well. This is something that really does happen.
posted by idiopath at 4:44 PM on September 22, 2009

Ant, Babyface, Bjork, Blondie, Brandy, Charo, Cher, Dido, Donovan, Edge, Elmo, Elton, Elvira, Elvis, Flea, J-Lo, Kilroy, Liberace, Madonna, Meatloaf, Moby, Mo'nique, Oprah, Pele, Prince, Ronaldo, Roseanne, Roy, Sade, Selena, Shakira, Shaq, Siegried, Sinbad, Slash, Sting, Tiffany, Usher, Will.i.am., Yanni, Zamfir.
posted by ericb at 5:07 PM on September 22, 2009 [1 favorite]

This is something that really does happen.

Google Stein. Then Google Hemingway. One of those searches brings tons of results on the first page to a particular person, the other does not. That particular comparison doesn't really work to prove the point.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 5:27 PM on September 22, 2009

All I know is that Starbuck gets called "Starbuck" by all (save her boyfriend-in-law and father-in-drawl), and I choose to interpret this as a sign of respect. Like calling Madonna, "Madonna." Or Van Halen, "Van Halen." Or Van Palin, "Van Palin," as it were.
posted by joe lisboa at 11:17 PM on September 22, 2009

Palin Hong Kong Speech Blames Government For Financial Crisis; Some Walk Out In Disgust.
posted by ericb at 7:58 AM on September 23, 2009

She has a point. If not for government intervention in the financial sector, we could very well still be recovering from the great depression, which would have made the housing bubble impossible.
posted by idiopath at 8:04 AM on September 23, 2009 [2 favorites]

When the Levi Breaks
posted by porn in the woods at 10:38 AM on September 23, 2009

Really the best thing for her and the nation would be if she could be placed on some Rachel Zo Project style reality TV show as soon as possible.
posted by Artw at 1:23 PM on September 23, 2009

Levi Johnston slated to pose for US nude magazine
posted by Artw at 4:25 PM on October 8, 2009

Levi Johnston Works Out His Bod So He Can Bare It.
posted by ericb at 4:32 PM on October 8, 2009

Jinx, fellas.
posted by cortex at 4:36 PM on October 8, 2009

Holy cow, I just realized it. Okay, here goes: Gia, Hannity, I-Roy, Questlove, Vanity, Xzibit.
posted by box at 5:25 PM on October 8, 2009 [1 favorite]