MetaFilter

Put your hand over its mouth. Hold your hand there. That will greatly muffle the amount of noise. If your child squirms, use appropriate force to keep your hand over its mouth. I'm sure that some sort of improvised gag could be made out of a scarf and a sock or something. As long as the nose is clear, the kid should still be able to breath, but not make nearly as much noise. And if they keep kicking the seat in front of them, tie their fucking legs together and lash them to the fucking... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by shmegegge at 11:29 AM on February 14, 2008

Ugh.... this article made me absolutely sick to my stomach.

I love my violin. Love it. I've written poetry to it. It has a name. I'm looking at it right now...

When most guys my age were working at a fast food joint in high school to buy their first car, I was working in a fast food joint to earn the down payment on my instrument. I knew exactly what I wanted it to sound like, almost two years before I finally found it. I raised the money... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Baby_Balrog at 3:09 PM on February 13, 2008

If there's anything that brings down Metafilter's collective IQ, it's posts like this.
posted to MetaTalk by Blazecock Pileon at 8:36 PM on February 12, 2008

Finally, a question that forces me to register for an account and make an honest reader of myself!

As a few responders have rightly noted, the thing with Dylan is that the guy is so creative and restless that there are several different versions of him. As Shakespeare says, "one man in his time plays many parts, his acts being seven ages." Here's how I break down Dylan's (so-far) collected work--others may collapse or expand according to their own tastes and... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by roombythelake at 4:19 PM on February 8, 2008

Holy shit, this is like a literature-meets-real-life moment. Did Tacos really pull out his Façonnable shirts and his travel bills?

Do you remember Jay Gatsby, trying hard to prove to Daisy that he'd made something of himself? Poor-kid Jay Gatsby proving that he's finally made it, and all he does is pull out his shirts? Nouveau-riche Jay Gatsby?

Man, I thought shit like that only happened in the books I have my students... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by John of Michigan at 4:11 PM on February 5, 2008

I say it because it's okay to like nice things.

Why couldn't you have been real, Cloverfield??
posted to MetaFilter by kittens for breakfast at 2:02 PM on February 5, 2008

iamb anapest anapest
iamb anapest anapest.
iamb anapest
iamb anapest,
iamb anapest anapest.

now with feminine rhymes for those who like the word Nantucket!

iamb anapest anapestic
iamb anapest anapestic.
iamb anapest
iamb anapest,
iamb anapest anapestic .
posted to MetaFilter by shmegegge at 9:27 AM on February 5, 2008

I am starting to think that my parenting philosophies differ by vast margins from the rest of the MeFi Hordes.

I think: he's eight years old. I think if you have an eight-year-old who loses things, what you do is buy him cheaper things that won't bother you much when he loses them. I think, if he worries about it, you say "You know, this is something you'll grow out of. I wouldn't worry about it too much." I think you reward him for not... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by thehmsbeagle at 2:38 PM on December 21, 2007

Someone must have been in the situation I am in, how did you deal with it? Accepting that there is an upper-class and they are so far removed from the rest of us that not even life-long friendship can overcome class consciousness?

I have those friends in some respects and I am that friend in other respects. It sounds like your friends are decent to you, but your awareness of your class differences is making you dissatisfied. The... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 11:24 AM on January 28, 2008

Imagine my surprise when my pony was resuscitated! I thought that it had either been put out to pasture, of had been put down due to a bum leg. Thanks, cashman!

Jessamyn, I agree with your last stated reason. Not everyone who uses Mefi is able to access the features made available via Greasemonkey. I thnk that distinguishing OP's replies would help everyone on the site recognize when the OP has added additional information that may help to clarify the OP's position,... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by numinous at 2:01 PM on January 29, 2008

This topic comes up a lot over on Serious Eats, with threads such as what are your favorites from this store?, favorite Trader Joe's items, true confessions of a Trader Joe's virgin and best find from Trader Joe's?.

There's some serious foodies on the site, so the answers are pretty good.... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by anildash at 2:43 PM on December 8, 2007

All right, I can now predict the outcome of any thread that mentions:

1) Fat People
---LOLFATTIES/lazy fucks/I have at thyroid condition/don't worry, ladies of MetaFilter, I'd still hit it

2) God
---You people are stupid and superstitious/Why do you care what I believe/I care because I am a superior thinker/You know who else was an atheist?

3) My girlfriend is acting weird
---Dump her!... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by thehmsbeagle at 2:56 PM on November 15, 2007

Double.
posted to MetaFilter by fleetmouse at 1:36 PM on January 24, 2008

What, is it news to you that your profession is notorious for preferring women of certain looks, and that many if not most bars hire, provide shifts, and create dress codes based inlarge part on appearances? So, maybe it's a koinkidink that you're in a line of work that rewards for large breasts, but I assumed it was a shrewd moneymaking move. I know for my friends who've left white collar work, it has been.

Your generalized idea of female bartenders... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by MaryDellamorte at 9:12 PM on January 23, 2008

Thank you for your metatalk post! Your metatalk post is important to us! All of our vituperitive assholes are currently busy but your metatalk post has been placed in a queue and will be dealt with by the first available snide, arrogant harpy! *TALL AND TAN AND YOUNG AND LOVELY THE GIRL FROM IPANEMA GOES WALKING AND WHEN SHE PASSES EACH ONE THAT SHE PASSES GOES AH! WHEN SHE WALKS SHE'S LIKE A SAMBA THAT SWINGS SO COOL AND SWAYS SO GENTLE THAT WHEN SHE PASSES EACH ONE-* Thank you for your... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by the quidnunc kid at 7:53 AM on December 11, 2007

Will the cure be worse than the disease? - The Fed needs to let a recession happen.

I take it your job isn't one of those that would recess.

I've been goofing around in this thread the last hour or so (hey, I freely admit when I'm an ass), but in all seriousness, the problem here really is the Iraq war, and specifically the insane amount of spending on it. Had that money not been spent, or had it been spent domestically on any... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Pastabagel at 8:38 AM on January 22, 2008

So a quick headsup, everyone: how are the markets looking now? I'm presuming it's well into trading time in the Wall Street now.
posted by the cydonian at 10:28 AM on January 22

Now? It's 10:32 ET, and the markets suck. Nasdaq only down 2.31%, s&p500 down 1.76%. Down is down 1.52%. What the hell is that? It's fucking weak, is what it is.

I was promised Armageddon. I want brokers falling out of windows.... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Pastabagel at 7:49 AM on January 22, 2008

Anyone who has the chance should witness the camps in Oświęcim with their own eyes. I have a small stone from near the ovens of Birkenau that I carry with me, a little totem to keep me tied to that place and to help me remember. I stood right here. These things can happen, men will do these things to other men, never forget.
posted to MetaFilter by Meatbomb at 12:16 AM on January 5, 2008

Flagged as "one giant middle tooth".
posted to MetaFilter by interrobang at 3:05 PM on January 15, 2008

This morning, as I rubbed sleep from my eyes, I considered the day ahead. Grey, lonely, quiet, empty hopelessness awaited me. Raising the blinds did nothing to brighten the room or my mood.

Even a smile and a deep cup of brewed coffee from the Brazilian girl under the elevated train couldn't lift my trampled spirits. I thought about a cigarette and then punished myself with a set of pushups instead.

I shaved for the first time in days. My... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by breezeway at 10:42 AM on January 14, 2008

Phil, all this bullying is just an elaborate masque to point out the Folly of Fools. You see, one fine afternoon we were all reading Épître à l'Auteur du Livre des Trois Imposteurs and languagehat noted, deliciously, that it would be marvelous to "play-act" in the style of El gran Galeoto and jesus christ I can't keep this up how do you live like this
posted to MetaTalk by Optimus Chyme at 12:17 PM on January 13, 2008

I have hundreds of boxes filled with things that are important to me that I need to go through. How do I decide what to throw out?

Pastabagel wrote one of the best comments ever on this subject, which I will quote here:

Coveting possessions is unhealthy. Here's how I look at it: All of the computers on Ebay are mine. In fact, everything on Ebay is already mine. All of those things are just in long term storage that I... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by aeschenkarnos at 5:11 PM on January 9, 2008

Please, please, please work.
posted to MetaTalk by Gary at 12:54 PM on September 14, 2007

Shouldn't it be meetsup?
posted to MetaTalk by Armitage Shanks at 11:59 AM on January 10, 2008

Well, this should be the final nail in the coffin of those credulous sheeple who still believe the "official explanation" the Death Star could be destroyed by a single shot, rather than a series of carefully orchestrated detonations.
posted to MetaFilter by flashboy at 6:29 AM on January 9, 2008

Until the ebook:
Allows me to take notes in the margins
and
Will not malfunction if I accidentally drop it in the bathtub
I'll be sticking with the conventional model.
posted to MetaFilter by thivaia at 6:54 AM on January 9, 2008

I don't believe the ebook will work. Here's why.
posted to MetaFilter by DreamerFi at 6:28 AM on January 9, 2008

I thought that was PhilCubeta for a moment.
posted to MetaTalk by Meatbomb at 3:59 AM on January 9, 2008

Hi dear NorthCoastCafe. I'm facing the death by cancer thing too, while not knowing how long I have to go, the prognosis was 2 1/2 years ago 3 years. I could be and am hoping to be around longer.

"death and time", a deep subject, lol.
----------

John Donne's beautiful meditation:

"All mankind is of one author, and is one volume; when one man dies, one chapter is not torn out of the book, but... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by nickyskye at 5:57 PM on January 7, 2008

Not to derail, but, does anyone else think it's a really really bad idea to put random objects down holes in your head?

What if it was a reset button?!
posted to Ask MetaFilter by yeoz at 6:27 AM on February 12, 2006

Lucy Bernholz has now posted a response on her blog about when she accepted board nomination. I'm glad to see that.

I've been listening to the audio of the board meetings this afternoon, and it's pretty interesting stuff. The inexperience shows. I'd chalk the whole debacle up to that. The co-founders don't know what they're doing; they don't have even a rudimentary understanding of the field they're playing in. They sound like student council. Lucy is one of the most... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by Miko at 2:42 PM on January 2, 2008

If I understand you correctly, and I think I do, you'd like more posts about cheese.

Don't be so coy, found missing, you gorgeous bastard you! Of course that is exactly what he was implying - anyone with an elementary grade school reading level could find that "hidden message" (if hiding in plain sight could be considered hidden, hahaha ROFL)!! :)

That's why I've created this fabulous and lengthy unordered list.... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by Meatbomb at 12:13 PM on December 21, 2007

Context: I'm a professional screenwriter. I wrote the movie SYLVIA. The following works for me. I'm not saying it will work for anything else.

Start with three sentences representing the beginning, middle and end of your story.

Boy meets girl. Boy loses girl. Boy gets girl back.

Woman buys house. House turns out to be haunted. Woman defeats ghosts.

Those are dumb examples but you get the idea.... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by unSane at 5:48 PM on January 15, 2006 marked best answer

This is a feature not a bug
posted to MetaTalk by mathowie at 12:26 PM on December 11, 2007

But where does Ron Paul stand on issues that concern me, like Social Security or the environment?

Against.
posted to MetaFilter by spiderwire at 9:30 PM on December 6, 2007

I'm down with him being against the war and I'm a little concerned about the gold standard thing, but I'm particularly nervous that he wants to launch all the black people and Mexicans into outer space... At this point I guess we just have to hope that he moderates his views, because as far as I am aware, internet Ayn Rand neckbeard cosplay-wanking Klingon dagger buying dork-asses with a surplus of bedsheets they can hang off of highway overpasses and Digg accounts are the only people who are... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by Divine_Wino at 9:15 PM on November 25, 2007

I find Ron Paul related posts helpful and informative, because when someone outs themselves as being a Ron Paul supporter, I can conveniently add them to my mental list of people to never take seriously ever again.
posted to MetaTalk by cmonkey at 8:45 PM on November 25, 2007

the overall mood of It Takes A Nation... comes from Terminator X

Hank Shocklee and the Bomb Squad, actually. There was a great interview in Tape Op (Jan. '06) in which Shocklee talked about how each of the songs was actually created by everyone playing samplers at the same time to create the music for those first few PE albums (samplers at the time didn't have a lot of time for recording). If someone screwed up, they had to start over--so if... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by sleepy pete at 1:55 PM on December 5, 2007

everyday I think about shutting down the site more and more.

there are a million possible things I could do to try and improve the site, or at least get it somewhat back on track. I think there are a few small things that can get us back at some normalcy, but in the long run, there's just too many people here.

the site has definitely grown beyond what it was designed for.

In the midst of all the salvage plans, I've been... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by mathowie at 12:02 AM on September 23, 2001

I read this whole deal except toward the end where my eyes started to skitter uncontrollably around the room. I am having to keep one of them shut in order to type this.

I remember a really long time ago in a thread somewhere klangklangston was talking about jokes about sexism should be okay. I have laughed many times at various i'dhitit stuff because it's not always sexist, although it is about sexism. I am enraged at other i'dhitit stuff, because it's sexist. I... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by Don Pepino at 9:02 PM on November 26, 2007

jonmc, no one here has pounded a pulpit, yet you've dutifully shown up as you always do in threads regarding feminism to dismiss it. You've often talked about how shitty things can be here, and complained about how people have taken cheap shots at you, but in all this time you haven't developed the self-awareness or basic empathy required not to do that to someone else. That is just sad.
posted to MetaTalk by melissa may at 4:59 PM on November 16, 2007

Well, most zealots of any stripe are tiresome and humorless, why should feminists be an exception?

Because feminists aren't by definition zealots, that's why. If the ones you have met are all zealots you're either working from a pretty small sample size or willfully ignoring the feminists that dont fit your definition.
posted to MetaTalk by jessamyn at 4:56 PM on November 16, 2007

Warning: The below contains more than two paragraphs and words over eight letters long. I well know that in some people's eyes this makes it too hard to read. Let's assume that they already called me a dork and move on.

Putting cathec's post in paragraphs was not a minor revision either. It involved considering the structure of the argument and making the form match. And it is exactly that kind of work that I maintain belongs to the asker. If cathec had done that kind of... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by eritain at 2:16 PM on November 9, 2007

Good gracious, mubba, Sun Ra is popular where you live? And The Silver Apples? Snapper? The kids all still remember The Archies and The Association there?

Stereolab is popular where you live?

You must reside in Chillville, boasting the largest per capita consumption of sorbet and bongo drums in the world, where the girls all go by in striped shirts waving coolly from Vespas and the men all cock an ironic but affable... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by melissa may at 5:40 PM on November 2, 2007

This is exactly the sort of feature that might drive me away (not that I've been active for too long, though I've lurked since 9/11, and not that too many people would care). I want this place to be, as much as possible, text only. I've swallowed it until now, but I did not like the flickr (etc) profile links, I do not like the mail feature (almost everyone lets the quality of their writing slide in private messages), and I especially, especially do not like profile pictures. I want this place... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by Kwine at 3:12 PM on November 2, 2007

Really, how hard could this be?

CHASE: House, we need to cure this patient. He is very sick.
HOUSE: Did you try the medicine drug?
CHASE: I did try the medicine drug.
HOUSE: Only stupid people try the medicine drug. You are stupid.
PATIENT: I would rather not be sick.
HOUSE: You are stupid too. Did you take stupid drug?
FOREMAN: I gave patient stupid drug.
HOUSE: You are a black man.... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by robocop is bleeding at 7:24 AM on November 2, 2007

Suck it, haters, L.A. is much better than whatever craphole you're living in now, trust me.

You're so wrong it's utterly redonkulous.

I'm a Los Angeles native. My family has been in California for at least 5 generations, if not 6 - well before it was incorporated as a state in the Union. My grandfather helped work on the Mulholland water projects, my grandma worked in the aircraft plants during WW2 - later my dad worked on... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by loquacious at 5:14 PM on October 16, 2007

Wow, seriously, this has to be one of the worst FPPs I have ever seen.

Bravo PrincessLara for finding new and impressive ways to make a shitty FPP, then mixing them with the old standby ways to make a shitty FPP.

I believe you have created something so brilliant in it's foulness that I can't help but feel like I'm standing on the edge of history, eyes closed. arms spread wide, listening for the subtle whispers of future generations mocking you.
posted to MetaFilter by Jezztek at 11:54 PM on September 21, 2005

yes yes yes [these are nsfw, #2 especially so]
posted to MetaTalk by jessamyn at 5:54 PM on May 15, 2006

“Off the hook” has never had anything to do with a telephone.

The rest of this list is silliness, but it is my sincere wish for the young of every future generation that they have an opportunity to place a call on a rotary telephone.

There is something deeply satisfying in the heavy whir of the dial as your finger carries it around, and the heartbeat of the pulses in your ears as it spins back into place. It's a device that... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Pastabagel at 7:23 PM on August 21, 2007