Favorites from lemonade
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Short hair, don't care? Except I do.
Last year I gained 30 lbs and cut my waist length hair off. My slim waist and lovely hair were apparently the main things that made other people think I was pretty, and now that those things have changed, my self image has tanked. I want to feel beautiful again. Hell, I'd like to feel sexy, too. What should I try in order to see myself now as being just as "good" as I was before?
Help me be low maintenance, without looking low maintenance.
I want to look more put together and polished for work, but I don't have a lot of interest or time for beauty/fashion/etc. What are your tips/tricks/hacks for looking put together and polished with minimal fuss?
Get Over Your Selfie
What are some ways I can get over worrying about how I look or how attractive I appear?
Things that make you happier when you do them
Looking for personal opinions about your experience rather than links to articles!
Gaps in newly-refinished hardwood floor- solutions?
We had our hardwood kitchen and dining room floors refinished in July. They looked *awesome* for about 4 months, and when the dry weather of winter hit we started seeing fairly large gaps that are accumulating gunk, catch on socks and don't look great. Help?
Leaning into small house life
What are great things about living in a small house? What are cozy reads about the nice things about living in small places? What did you like about growing up in a small space? What were things that were hard about living in small spaces that you made better, even marginally?
The joy is in the playing
Learning To Play Piano When There Is No Recital.
There are lots of reasons to continue or start a hobby even if you cannot become good enough to make it your full-time job. But even as I write that, I don’t really believe it deep down. I believe it for you. I think it’s a great idea for everyone else to do things that bring them joy and have no other benefits. But not for me.
2024 Resolutions. #1 Do a pull-up. #2 Improve local composting options
New Years Resolutions for the climate.
Climate scientist Katharine Hayhoe famously adopts two new climate-friendly habits each year—“not because I think they’re going to change the course of climate change as I know it... but because it enables me to be consistent with my values and it gives me joy.” A NPR reporter suggests getting into energy policy as a stretch resolution. Yale Climate Connections recommends finding your lever (do you have a school-age kid? perhaps push the school district to switch to renewable energy?). The Climate Council asks us to move our money out of fossil fuel investments. And the Guardian reminds us to eat our leftovers and to eat less beef.
2024 Resolutions/goals/intentions: what resources are you using?
Since 2020, I've been focussing on keeping my head above water, staying happy and healthy and connected in the midst of the pandemic emergency. But now, I'm inspired to do some serious planning. If you're doing something similar, what resources are you using that you have found useful? I'm open to books, podcasts, courses, YouTube videos, etc., and to hearing about any and all approaches that you have found/are finding useful. Scientific and intuitive or esoteric approaches are all welcome.
Yes, citing these in an argument will annoy everyone. But what fun!
100 Little Ideas that Explain how the Human World works.
"Bizarreness Effect: Crazy things are easier to remember than common things, providing a distorted sense of “normal.”
Nonlinearity: Outputs aren’t always proportional to inputs, so the world is a barrage of massive wins and horrible losses that surprise people.
Moderating Relationship: The correlation between two variables depends on a third, seemingly unrelated variable. The quality of a marriage may be dependent on a spouse’s work project that’s causing stress.
Denomination Effect: One hundred $1 bills feels like less money than one $100 bill. Also explains stock splits – buying 10 shares for $10 each feels cheaper than one share for $100.
Woozle Effect: “A reliable way to make people believe in falsehoods is frequent repetition, because familiarity is not easily distinguished from truth.” - Daniel Kahneman."
Thinking About Thinking
Please recommend to me the mental models/thinking frameworks that have helped your organize your thoughts, make decisions, interact better with people, or generally life a better life (examples: Eisenhower's Urgent vs. Important Matrix, Steven Covey's Big Rocks-Small Rocks, Byron Katie's "The Work" questions)
Vacation planning is awful
I hate vacation planning - reasons inside. This year, I would like to figure out how to make it less terrible for me and my partner.
What works for you, and what kind of headaches do I get?
YANMD, but my doctor has finally prescribed medicine which disperses my headaches. It's Sumatriptan, so what kind of headaches do I get? My worst cases are accompanied by feverish chills, and note that my father would get pain-free migraines accompanied by their usual visual effects (which I never experience). Is it all because of caffeine?
Keeping gmail accounts (and life) secure
One of my gmail accounts is basically the key to my entire life. If I were to lose access for any reason, or if it were to be taken over by someone else, it would be a disaster. What should I do to keep it (and my life generally) more secure?
Life is short
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"
Everyone is for the birds
A lot of people love birds, but even avid birders sometimes only know species by sight. Yet you are often more likely to hear a bird than see it, so anyone who is interested in birds or appreciating nature really should consider learning to bird by ear. It is a valuable skill that only enhances your time in the field. But for the blind or disabled, learning birds calls and songs offers even more. It gives a whole new dimension and accessibility to the natural world. Trevor Attenberg on "Birding Blind"
Wait... They Don't Love You Like I Love You
I want to spend more time geeking out about maps, urban geography, trains, and otherwise entertaining the spatial part of my brain! What are some hobbies/games/projects/apps/etc. to try?
How do you manage complete unrelenting stress?
I have extreme stress in my family situation that I am managing and getting support with but I am struggling to implement ways to release the stress from my body and I know it is hurting me, more inside.
Recommendations for self help books that *actually* helped you?
I would love to hear recommendations for self help books (of any kind) that you genuinely feel helped you to improve something in your life.
Appreciate that it's about the effort you put in, but is there any book that inspired you, gave you useful advice or guidelines that you successfully made use of to make real tangible and long lasting improvements in your life?
Help me grow greens indoors
Can you point me to good information or give good advice for growing greens on my countertop in my kitchen? I want to start incorporating more dark leafy greens in my meals. When I look into how to start, I'm overwhelmed with the options.
Toon Me
I'd like to get better at cartoony drawing -- action, movement, but not necessarily realistic -- and would like to learn how to, but not just watch someone else do it.
House cleaning tips for a new pet-owner
I'm the new owner of a long-haired cat, and I am seeking advice on how to keep my home clean. I've only had her for a month or so. I clean assiduously, but my apartment feels so. much. dirtier. Pet-owners, please share with me your tips.
Oh, another meditation question
Perhaps some version of this gets asked a lot. I feel like meditation would probably do me some good. I often tell people to try it. I find myself bouncing off it really hard. Would an app help?
Is there a book/resource you keep revisiting to help be your best self?
I’ve been reading the book “The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership”. It’s a mix of things I like and things I don’t. What feels very appealing to me is: It presents a pretty compelling set of principles which seem like they could be really helpful in just about any situation to help decide how to respond in a way aligned with your values. I’m curious if folks have books that do that for them?
How do I sheets
What are the BEST sheets??
seeking whimsical, quirky and magical decor ideas for a maximalist
what are some whimsical / quirky / fun items for your home that fits a maximalist vibe? I want my house to feel like a cross between a bohemian who finds cool uses for ordinary things and a wizard whose place just feels magical and makes you want to look and look.
Simple Evernote replacement for web and Android?
Due to Evernote Free's limiting/demise I've been looking at replacement services, but my sticking point is a web version - one of my use cases is a computer on which I do not have software installation privileges. Is there anything like that sticking around? Other snowflakes below.
Enshittification (and some deshittification) of note-taking software
It’s official: Evernote will restrict free users to 50 notes. After Bending Spoons acquired Evernote in November 2022, the company laid off 129 people in February 2023. At that time, a spokesperson told TechCrunch that the notetaking app has “been unprofitable for years and the situation was unsustainable in the long term.” I was lucky enough to see this in my news feed yesterday, and went into scramble mode. More luck: I quickly found noteapps.info, which not only catalogs the features of different notes apps, but also allows you to do side-by-side comparisons of the features, or dynamically filter your search by feature. I had to ask...who would go to all the trouble of making this, and why?
Gifts that are things
What are some really great gifts you've given or received that are things? So no experiences, gift cards, alcohol, or food. Ideas for useful gifts are especially appreciated. Under $100 would be great, but more than that is OK. Not interested in thoughts about how giving things is bad.
Let me join your laundry cult
I have heard rumors of a magical laundry soap that will rejuvenate my laundry, removing years of built-up dryer sheet residue and leave my towels fluffy and like new. It will also brighten my dingy white shirts. I can't recall the name, but it is concentrated, all natural, and difficult to use. Does anyone know what I'm talking about?
Finding weird, fun, cutting-edge internet culture in a post-SEO world
Most of us would probably agree that the internet now sucks. Is there a practical way to reframe my approach to how I use the internet so that I can still discover cool, new, interesting people and ideas, without wading through sixteen tons of angry garbage? (I'm seeking problem-solving strategies to make lemonade from lemons, not "just give up" cynicism, thanks!) What are the best punk rock, fuck-this approaches for discovering and enjoying the best and weirdest things that the internet still has to offer?
How to get better at casual thinking
I’ve become really interested in improving the way I think on a day-to-day basis, just as I go about my daily life. When I have some down time and I’m just thinking, I’d like to use that time more effectively, rather than just having a random stream of thoughts coming in and out. Are there strategies to structure one’s internal dialogue to be more productive, creative, or otherwise satisfying?
Inspiration and practical advice for building community
I've been inspired recently by "The Year Without Sunshine" by Naomi Kritzer (found on the Blue, thanks kristi !). I want more community in my own life and I'm looking for both practical advice from people who have built community and more inspiration to help on the hard days. What can you recommend?
Gear for mushroom growing in a small apartment
I have a small apartment and I want to grow mushrooms, largely using the advice from Stamets' "Growing Gourmet and Medicinal Mushrooms". I want to find gear that is suited to my skill level, living circumstances, and planned purpose. I am planning to start with Oyster mushrooms to learn the process, then try Enoki and others.
Is there a standard way to apply caulk and is it difficult to do?
I have now attempted several times to apply caulk in my bathroom and each time the final results are terrible. Here's a particularly embarrassing but representative example. My question: Does applying caulk actually take a bunch of skill and experience or is it straightforward and I'm just doing it wrong?
Looming fascism in the US...what can I actually *DO*?
I am increasingly concerned and frightened about the political situation here in the US, but am at a loss as to what actual real-world actions I can take to help stem the tide of fascism...
Next best thing to a tattoo?
For someone who's not quite ready for a tattoo, what's the next best thing? I love quotes and sayings and such and I would love to order, say, a custom poster or engrave some words on a custom bookmark or a keychain or what have you. Like, just something I can mount on my wall at home or carry around with me where I can read some healing words. So like a tattoo but not (yet)!
Reading journeys?
I really like reading about what people are reading, specifically recurring book lists that outline a smart/funny/interesting person's reads that month. I find this relaxing and a really fun way to add stuff to my to-read list. Help me find more!
book recommendations
You're reading a book. You think to yourself, Naomi Kritzer* and Octavia Butler could have written this book together. What's the book?
Murphy bed pros/cons/recommendation
We're insulating a spare bedroom and have the drywall down on a couple of walls. It occured to us that we'd like to add a fold-down bedframe to the wall when we put it back together.
How did you fix all the things you didn't like about yourself?
I'm going through a lot, and one of the things that my therapist has encouraged me to do is write down all the things I notice about myself that I don't like. I'm amassing quite the list! But one therapy session a week isn't a great way to address all of them, and I'm sure some of you have dealt with similar so… any hints?
How to age and not become mentally/socially rigid and cranky?
My husband points out that as people age (40s, 50s, 60s, and beyond), they become cranky and rigid, and previously benign idiosyncrasies become more pronounced. Everyone in my family has died young, so I have little experience with this. What's the science behind this, and how can we avoid this happening?
Hacks for maintaining friendships and family bonds
I've always been terrible at maintaining friendships and relationships with extended family. I have no trouble in person, or concrete things like birthday wishes, but I struggle with initiating calls/messages, and sometimes even responding in a timely way. It low-key stresses me out to begin an interpersonal interaction, so I avoid it (even though I like all these people). Looking for hacks to help me get better -- anything from apps to stickies to daily routines.
"Dressy" slip-on sneakers/shoes
Hey all,
Looking for some "dressier" (i.e. can be worn at office job that is on the casual side of business casual) shoes/sneakers that are slip-on, comfortable, and good for walking. Under $50 would be a plus but willing to pay more for quality/attractiveness. Hoping they are sneakers that just look a little dressier, not loafers or something.
Out of one's depth in the field. Here's the fix.
Camera Viewfinder Simulator.
So you've got your fancy camera out of the box. Yay! Wait, you can now adjust focal length, aperture, shutter speed, ISO, and distance from your subject. How do those variables affect the picture? This website gives you sliders to wiggle all those variables and see the result.
Hilarious Books of all genres
One thing I've been enjoying about the Thursday Murder Club books is that they make me laugh out loud on a regular basis. I've found the same thing to be true of Alexis Hall's romance novels. What are other books in ANY GENRE that are hilarious? I'd love a wide mixture of genres!
Fun for someone visiting London right now?
My favorite coworker is about to go on a long-delayed bucket list trip to the UK from the US, and I want to give him some kind of cool mission.
Physical anxiety attacks in body
I get anxiety attacks which consist of strong uncomfortable feelings in my body - does anyone have similar experiences and know what helps physically with them?
Have face. Now what?
I am a new mom, who at 35 has only ever dabbled in make up and certainly was never taught to apply it. I have been feeling glum about my appearance and thought I might give make up a go. What are the absolute basics needed for a five minute make-up routine? Additional requirements/thoughts inside.