Ultimate dog tease
May 2, 2011 12:37 PM   Subscribe

 
adorable :)
posted by puny human at 12:42 PM on May 2, 2011


Man sees an ad for a talking dog. He goes to the house, asks to see it. "It's tied up out back." He goes out there and talks with dog. Asks the dog how he learned to talk. The dog says it was while studying philosophy at Cambridge.

He goes back in and asks how much. "Five dollars." "Really? Why so little?" "Because I'm sick of his crap, none of that shit he says ever happened."
posted by StickyCarpet at 12:56 PM on May 2, 2011 [17 favorites]


(Huh, why didn't this one get an inline-player? I'm not seeing anything weird with the URL formatting. Though it does have feature=youtu.be, maybe that's confusing things?)
posted by kmz at 12:58 PM on May 2, 2011


I hated that so much the dial went all the way back to loved it.
posted by phaedon at 12:58 PM on May 2, 2011


Since you beat me to the punch on this, here are some more talking-animal videos.

Wake Up Kitty 1
Wake Up Kitty 2
Wake Up Kitty 3
Who's my kitty?
Booba's new shoes
Cat vs Printer
posted by specialagentwebb at 1:00 PM on May 2, 2011 [14 favorites]


I'd like to nominate "Wake Up Kitty 1" for World's Ugliest Comforter.
posted by phunniemee at 1:09 PM on May 2, 2011 [2 favorites]


Ha!
posted by tomswift at 1:10 PM on May 2, 2011 [1 favorite]


Man, file this under "Can't put my finger on why this is so damn funny but it is."
posted by ORthey at 1:15 PM on May 2, 2011


What? You don't have entire conversations like that at night with your dog?
posted by HeyAllie at 1:15 PM on May 2, 2011 [9 favorites]


specialagentwebb: "Wake Up Kitty 1
Wake Up Kitty 2
Wake Up Kitty 3
"

Oh my jesus christ what
posted by boo_radley at 1:16 PM on May 2, 2011


I am enjoying this day of Dogs, Cats, and Hobbits FPPs. It's as if we're all suddenly a little more light-hearted than we were yesterday afternoon....
posted by tzikeh at 1:23 PM on May 2, 2011 [1 favorite]


Another one from the same series features a gorgeous cat... Kitty is a very bad mystic.
posted by crunchland at 1:26 PM on May 2, 2011 [3 favorites]


(Oh wait, I'm blind. Nevermind me.)
posted by kmz at 1:26 PM on May 2, 2011


loathing aunt is an excellent name for a dog, by the way.
posted by le morte de bea arthur at 1:31 PM on May 2, 2011 [4 favorites]


What? You don't have entire conversations like that at night with your dog?

My conversations with the roomie's dog are often as I'm heading out of the house, and usually have some echoes of Wesley and the Dread Pirate Roberts.

"Goodbye Scrambles. I'm leaving and never coming back and you're going to die alone."

"I'm going out to the store to buy a better dog than you. Behave yourself while I'm gone, and when I get back I might let you look at the better dog before you have to go live on the street forever."

"We're going to the store so we can buy up all the best dogfood that you love so much, and then destroy it."

I like to erode his psyche slowly.
posted by FatherDagon at 1:40 PM on May 2, 2011 [44 favorites]


I thought at first the dog was really making noises that sounded like speech. But when it became apparent that it was voiced over - it still charmed the bejesus out of me. So very cute!!
posted by helmutdog at 1:43 PM on May 2, 2011


What? You don't have entire conversations like that at night with your dog?

My conversations with the roomie's dog are often as I'm heading out of the house, and usually have some echoes of Wesley and the Dread Pirate Roberts.

"Goodbye Scrambles. I'm leaving and never coming back and you're going to die alone."

"I'm going out to the store to buy a better dog than you. Behave yourself while I'm gone, and when I get back I might let you look at the better dog before you have to go live on the street forever."

"We're going to the store so we can buy up all the best dogfood that you love so much, and then destroy it."

I like to erode his psyche slowly.
posted by FatherDagon at 1:40 PM on May 2 [2 favorites −] Favorite added! [!]


My parents had those same chats with me when I was kid! Ha! Oh - how I miss those good times.
posted by helmutdog at 1:45 PM on May 2, 2011 [3 favorites]


Okay, silly -- but I was laughing. Nicely done voice-over on the dog, and the cat was just funny. "Fuck me." It's sort of the same thing as hearing the South Park kids swear.
posted by Guy_Inamonkeysuit at 1:54 PM on May 2, 2011


loathing aunt is an excellent name for a dog, by the way.

Someone call Bertie Wooster.
posted by codacorolla at 1:57 PM on May 2, 2011 [3 favorites]


I may be the AntiFatherDagon. Every time I leave the house I reassure my dog that "I'm just going to go over to the vacuum cleaner's house to get my toenails cut," and that "I'm pretty sure (she doesn't) want to come with me because THE VET took all their smelly garbage for tearing up away forever and there dogs have to stay only on THE FLOOR." But, thanks for posting this - I may try throwing some meat words in there too, to give her eyebrows more of a workout.
posted by peagood at 2:03 PM on May 2, 2011 [4 favorites]


specialagentwebb, sorry to have beaten you to the punch - a multi link cute/funny animal post would have been much better, thank you for adding them.

Can we blame first-post-itis? Plus the fact that I've been laughing at this all weekend and needed a respite from self-inflicted Trump-overload?
posted by humph at 2:21 PM on May 2, 2011


Thank you. To this, I add cats playing pat-a-cake.
posted by simulacra at 2:33 PM on May 2, 2011 [1 favorite]


After a gruelling day of ambivalence and disappointment, mr.likeso & I just laughed ourselves silly. THANK YOU.
posted by likeso at 2:57 PM on May 2, 2011


I love this, I love this, I love this, I love this, and I ....what? The bacon? You did...what? AOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOO!
posted by Lipstick Thespian at 2:57 PM on May 2, 2011


I've been a fan of these videos for a while because the voice/character acting is pretty good, and not so twee or kawaii that they give you diabetes.

This one is pretty good, too.

posted by loquacious at 2:59 PM on May 2, 2011 [3 favorites]


Even my dog loathing aunt loved this video.

Isn't that because she is a dog loathing aunt?
posted by juiceCake at 3:16 PM on May 2, 2011


Really amazing timing, not just in terms of matching dog speech with dog lip movements, but also with timing particularly tempting words (e.g. "bacon") with sidelong glances from the beast.
posted by HeroZero at 3:24 PM on May 2, 2011 [1 favorite]


That was hilarious!
posted by puddinghead at 4:20 PM on May 2, 2011


Aw!

I love dogs so much. I love them more than most people. Early in the unraveling of my Lutheranism, a Pastor told me that there are no dogs in heaven. Dude, WTF? If there are no dogs, it is not heaven.
posted by EatTheWeek at 4:48 PM on May 2, 2011 [23 favorites]


I never expected to watch this four times.
posted by imperium at 4:53 PM on May 2, 2011 [1 favorite]


Early in the unraveling of my Lutheranism, a Pastor told me that there are no dogs in heaven. Dude, WTF? If there are no dogs, it is not heaven.

There's a great Twilight Zone episode in that vein called The Hunt (that's youtube; here's a wikipedia link with spoilers). It even makes my godless heathen self feel all mushy. Yay dogs!
posted by phunniemee at 5:08 PM on May 2, 2011 [1 favorite]


The maple kind, yeah?




NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
posted by Neofelis at 5:12 PM on May 2, 2011


I LOLd, for real!
posted by Dragonness at 5:13 PM on May 2, 2011


(Since we're on the subject of dogs not eating when they would certainly like to eat - prepare to fall in love)
posted by EatTheWeek at 5:36 PM on May 2, 2011 [6 favorites]


Love this video! Love it!
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 5:43 PM on May 2, 2011


Man, file this under "Can't put my finger on why this is so damn funny but it is."

It's the expression on that poor, tortured beast's face.
posted by Glinn at 6:18 PM on May 2, 2011


And the ears.
posted by Glinn at 6:19 PM on May 2, 2011 [1 favorite]


Could that dog look any more like Henry Winkler?
posted by Mapes at 6:41 PM on May 2, 2011 [4 favorites]


"Goodbye Scrambles. I'm leaving and never coming back and you're going to die alone."
posted by FatherDagon at 1:40 PM on May 2


I say this exact thing sometimes to one of our bunnies, whose name is also Scrambles.
posted by joannemerriam at 7:16 PM on May 2, 2011


Did someone say treats?
posted by Evilspork at 8:22 PM on May 2, 2011


God, sometimes it is so difficult to get your cat up and ready for the day in the morning. Sometimes I think she'd spend the whole day sleeping if I let her.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 8:29 PM on May 2, 2011


If there are no dogs, it is not heaven.

Yeah, I got pretty fishy about heaven when I discovered that basically the only reason it's heaven is you get to stare at this one dude for ever.

Heaven is just fucked up. Read some theologians on heaven and they're like "it's amazing, trust us" and that's about it. But get them started on hell and all the tortures and hideous demons therein and they will fill volumes.

There's a reason people only ever buy that one volume of Dante.
posted by tumid dahlia at 8:44 PM on May 2, 2011 [6 favorites]


So love that. Watching it over and over. Those sad eyes! Great voice choices too.

More talking animals. More.
posted by nickyskye at 11:05 PM on May 2, 2011


Five times I've watched this. The urge to scratch him and feed him treats and tell him it's gonna be okay is getting worse.
posted by EatTheWeek at 11:22 PM on May 2, 2011 [1 favorite]


This has always been my favorite.

It should've been the rug.
posted by Scattercat at 5:13 AM on May 3, 2011 [4 favorites]


There's a great Twilight Zone episode in that vein called The Hunt

Finally got around to clicking this link - and found out The Hunt was written by Earl Hamner, creator of The Waltons (and Falcon Crest). Huh!
posted by likeso at 6:25 AM on May 3, 2011 [1 favorite]


I like pretty much everything on that account, but this talking beaver video is absolutely nerve wracking as the poor thing tries to cross 4 lanes of death (he makes it, according to the video).
posted by codacorolla at 7:35 AM on May 3, 2011 [1 favorite]


Poor dog!! But it was really well made!
posted by pupstocks at 9:14 AM on May 3, 2011


I'm laughing so hard I'm crying!
posted by PepperMax at 9:59 AM on May 3, 2011


Oh that blue rug one is just hilarious. My husband has played it 4 or 5 times and just keeps laughing. The timing and the action paired with the dialog are really remarkable.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 12:48 PM on May 3, 2011


I watched this last night about 6 times and laughed equally each time. Today, after consecutive things going sideways in my life, ready to scream and throw things, at risk of being evicted from my neighbourhood. I watched this again - cured.
posted by boogiefunk at 7:25 AM on May 4, 2011


I like to erode his psyche slowly.

I'm so glad to see I'm not alone in this; I have a whole house full of pets, and I like to walk through when I get home from work, greeting them all with statements like "Shut up bird. You're stupid, ugly, and I hate you.", "Get out of my way cat, I'd eat you if I didn't think you'd taste terrible", "Stop whining dog, you useless sack of hair, if you were any dumber you'd be furniture" in my sweetest possible voice, while feeding them.

It amuses me because they only listen to tone and action and I assume that they think I'm praising them, but I secretly harbor the fear that one day I'll get an unwelcome response:

Me: "Shut up cat, you're worthless"
Cat: "Aww, fuck you. When you die, I'm going to eat you."
Me: "Uhh"
Cat: "Yeah, I talk. We all do. And let me tell you, we're sick of your abusive language. So sleep with one eye open meatbag. You're dinner."
posted by quin at 7:57 AM on May 4, 2011


« Older X-ray Origami is Damn Cool.   |   How It Turned Out Newer »


This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments