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Smokin'
October 25, 2011 12:47 PM   Subscribe

Ladies and Gentlemen, the Cigarette is back!

"Chief of Staff Mark Block talks about Herman Cain's Presidential Campaign and urges people to act because together we can elect Herman Cain!"

35 years ago, maybe. Today, it's very odd.
posted by atomicmedia (57 comments total) 9 users marked this as a favorite

 
Best comedy short this year.
posted by Foci for Analysis at 12:50 PM on October 25, 2011 [4 favorites]


And the strange thing is, it's not even close to being as strange/weird as this earlier Herman Cain ad.
posted by (Arsenio) Hall and (Warren) Oates at 12:52 PM on October 25, 2011 [3 favorites]


I like how he literally twitches when he says "unity."

Also, that ending smile... creeper!
posted by CaptApollo at 12:53 PM on October 25, 2011 [3 favorites]


If that was a real ad, the cigarette was damn clever.
posted by dunkadunc at 12:53 PM on October 25, 2011


Also, that ending smile... creeper!

Nothing says "Vote for me!" like drawing the shades in a seedy motel room, turning to the camera, and smiling as if to say "thank you for stopping by - would you mind wearing this mask?"
posted by (Arsenio) Hall and (Warren) Oates at 12:55 PM on October 25, 2011 [11 favorites]


it's not even close to being as strange/weird as this earlier Herman Cain ad.

I actually found this one the most puzzling, myself. I guess it has something to do with the whole 9/9/9 thing?
posted by Greg Nog at 12:55 PM on October 25, 2011 [5 favorites]


I can't tell if that robot mouth is pro-life or pro-choice.
posted by (Arsenio) Hall and (Warren) Oates at 12:58 PM on October 25, 2011


(All that video did was make me want a cigarette so bad. Sweet, sweet cigarettes.)
posted by dunkadunc at 12:59 PM on October 25, 2011 [8 favorites]


I like how he shakes his head throughout. I AGREE WITH NOTHING THAT I AM SAYING AND CANNOT HELP UNCONSCIOUSLY EXPRESSING IT.
posted by Bunny Ultramod at 1:01 PM on October 25, 2011 [11 favorites]


Hope he doesn't toss his tab end in whoever's garden that is he's lurking outside of.
posted by Abiezer at 1:01 PM on October 25, 2011 [1 favorite]


I still can't believe the Christian party is getting behind a guy named "Cain."
posted by Western Infidels at 1:01 PM on October 25, 2011 [6 favorites]


I love all my free filters on my iphone too but I wouldn't apply them to an advertisement if I was running for political office. The tilt shift app is cool, but why apply it here so his nose is in sharp focus and his eyes and chin are blurry?
posted by saucysault at 1:04 PM on October 25, 2011 [4 favorites]


I'll say this: once you notice that guy shaking his head "no" as he's talking, you can't un-notice it. Even he doesn't believe what he's saying.
posted by emelenjr at 1:05 PM on October 25, 2011 [2 favorites]


It's adding a veneer of 'hipness'. 'Cause all the kids are doing it. Same for the moustache and smoking.
posted by dunkadunc at 1:05 PM on October 25, 2011


Hope he doesn't toss his tab end in whoever's garden that is he's lurking outside of.

That was my apolitical sister's immediate reaction - who is he stalking and why is he lurking in the doorway like that?
posted by CaptApollo at 1:06 PM on October 25, 2011 [2 favorites]


Was that a Tim and Eric short?
posted by loquacious at 1:08 PM on October 25, 2011 [2 favorites]


Somebody please edit together a scene from Human Centipede and that creepy Herman Cain smirk.
posted by (Arsenio) Hall and (Warren) Oates at 1:10 PM on October 25, 2011 [1 favorite]


Herman Cain's Bizarre New Ad Explained.
posted by ericb at 1:11 PM on October 25, 2011


I could totally buy that the message is "black people are creepy", which would be an interesting use of the limelight.
posted by Artw at 1:15 PM on October 25, 2011


best youtube comment: "Ha ha ha! You're allowed to do another take!" :-)
posted by facetious at 1:15 PM on October 25, 2011


Maybe the idea is supposed to be that this is candid, and we caught the guy on his break, and he's just offering up his thoughts?
posted by Navelgazer at 1:16 PM on October 25, 2011 [2 favorites]


I think the message is "try not to get on an elevator with Chief of Staff Mark Block."
posted by bondcliff at 1:19 PM on October 25, 2011 [8 favorites]


All it needs an endorsement from Cryptkeeper.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 1:20 PM on October 25, 2011 [1 favorite]


loquacious: "Was that a Tim and Eric short"

It's Not Herman Cain!™
posted by Rhaomi at 1:20 PM on October 25, 2011


Well, in their defense, my admittedly limited experience tells me that political campaigns are run on cigarettes and all decision-making gets done on cigarette breaks.
posted by hoyland at 1:20 PM on October 25, 2011 [1 favorite]


ericb's HuffPo link hints at Cain's past, but could be a lot louder (quote: Cain has also worked closely with cigarette manufacturers in the past. )

That link is to NY Times article on Cain's past as a lobbyist, so he's not really an outsider to the political process at all. He lobbied for the National Restaurant Association, where (as stated in the NY Times article):
He allied himself closely with cigarette makers fighting restaurant smoking bans, spoke out against lowering blood-alcohol limits as a way to prevent drunken driving, fought an increase in the minimum wage and opposed a patients’ bill of rights — all in keeping with the interests of the industry he represented.
Perhaps it's an odd tip of the hat to old financial backers (or current backers?)
posted by filthy light thief at 1:24 PM on October 25, 2011


I wonder if it's the same director that did the one for Cullman Liquidation.
posted by bondcliff at 1:29 PM on October 25, 2011 [2 favorites]


i need a freaking joint.
posted by hal_c_on at 1:33 PM on October 25, 2011 [1 favorite]


Rhaomi, I immediately had the same thought. The similarity in creepiness levels between that moment and Herman Cain's appearance at the end of this ad is really uncanny.
posted by the other side at 1:41 PM on October 25, 2011 [1 favorite]


The idea I saw (don't recall where) was that the ad is a dogwhistle to tea party voters who will see the brandishing of the cigarette smoke as a big fuck-you to big government regulation of all kinds.
posted by blucevalo at 1:50 PM on October 25, 2011 [3 favorites]


Scene, this morning, Cain's Campaign Office HQ

Enter CLAUDIA, overworked videographer/media whiz, college aged, who came to the Cain campaign as a volunteer intern hoping to get some experience and finds herself doing far more she ever imagined as "that black pizza guy" has turned into a "real candidate" and she's found herself with more responsibilities than she ever imagined. She knows this position won't lead to the White House but putting it on her resume might make her stand out among the many, many unemployed her age once this whole thing winds up. After another late night of stupid, thankless, unpaid work she finally allowed herself to sleep in one day and comes into the office at around 8 AM.

She logs onto workstation, amused as she is every morning that she even has a workstation.

Enter TOBIAS, HQ Office Manager, Cain Youth Volunteer Coordinator, and go-getter. Realizing he was destined for greatness when he stabbed his first manager at Godfather's in the back in Bettendorf, Iowa, he's never looked back. He rose to national prominence when, after starting the first collegiate chapter of GOProud, he posted to YouTube his Obama-bashing dance performance of Beyonce's "Single Ladies" called "Single Mamas (Put A Rubber On It)" (with a cameo by Ann Coulter, and, oddly, Bristol Palin). Like Herman Cain, he's trying to prove to people with this campaign he's more than a viral joke; unlike Cain, he doesn't have a future on Fox News because there's no reality where there's a right wing equivalent of Ross Mathews meets Perez Hilton (well, except for Drudge...)

Claudia hates him and makes this abundantly clear. This makes him try harder.

Tobias: Good morning, sleepy head!

Claudia mumbles a wordless greeting.

Tobias: Glad you could make it in today.
Claudia: It's only 8.
Tobias: I've been here since 7:00.
Claudia: Did I miss anything? I thought we didn't have a meeting until...
Tobias: 9, 9, 9!

He thinks he's hilarious. Claudia growls.

Tobias: (ignoring her) Well, I've had so much to do, you know, organizing flyers and emaiils and tweets and, well, you were working so hard, I wanted to get that video up on the web as soon as possible so we could take credit for it this morning.
Claudia: What video?
Tobias: The one on your desktop. I uploaded it this morning. But we have to work on your file names. Why did you label a video with none of the soccer mom stump speech bits or laugh lines 'joke for family'?

THE END
posted by MCMikeNamara at 1:51 PM on October 25, 2011 [3 favorites]


According to "well-connected GOP" ratfuckers operatives, the entire Cain campaign is nothing but smoke and mirrors.
posted by octobersurprise at 1:56 PM on October 25, 2011 [1 favorite]


How yesterday! Sold out to the tobacco people. Tsk. All the cool kids now are in the pockets of big pharma and insurance.
posted by Cranberry at 2:31 PM on October 25, 2011 [1 favorite]


I have been inspired. (h/t)
posted by Rhaomi at 2:49 PM on October 25, 2011 [7 favorites]


This guy is Sarah Palin on steroids.

P. T. Barnum had no idea.
posted by spitbull at 2:53 PM on October 25, 2011


I think Cain has just locked-up the cranky middle-aged guy vote (a very important demo in the Republican party).
posted by Gilbert at 2:54 PM on October 25, 2011 [1 favorite]


Weirdly enough, that ad just made me quit smoking.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 2:59 PM on October 25, 2011 [3 favorites]


Sweet. Reduced public smoking bans? For it!

And, at least, if he's a special interest whore, he's not trying to hide it, which is a refreshing change.
posted by Samizdata at 3:38 PM on October 25, 2011


His uneven mustache drove me nuts. Is it that hard to trim one of those things in a mirror?
posted by cropshy at 4:48 PM on October 25, 2011 [1 favorite]


Nyan Cain
posted by ed at 5:57 PM on October 25, 2011 [4 favorites]


I'm looking forward to the Herman Cain ad starring Tobias Fünke.
posted by dunkadunc at 5:57 PM on October 25, 2011


Jay Smooth's pitch perfect parody.
posted by shannonm at 6:14 PM on October 25, 2011 [6 favorites]


I do dig the funky song though.
posted by pajamazon at 7:42 PM on October 25, 2011


Can't sleep, Cain will eat me...
posted by schoolgirl report at 7:43 PM on October 25, 2011 [1 favorite]


Why's his forehead all fuzzy?
posted by tristeza at 7:48 PM on October 25, 2011


I think the proper phrasing is "why his forehead so fuzzy?"
posted by cashman at 8:59 PM on October 25, 2011


My favorite bad political ad remains We are Better than That!!!!.
posted by eddydamascene at 10:24 PM on October 25, 2011 [3 favorites]


I still can't believe Cain picked a campaign manager who had been banned from politics in Wisconsin for several years.
posted by drezdn at 6:34 AM on October 26, 2011


i need a freaking joint.
posted by hal_c_on at 4:33 PM on October 25


Is that even a cigarette in Mark Block's hand? It looks hand-rolled to me...

(Is this a stealth pitch for NORML?)
posted by vhsiv at 9:04 AM on October 29, 2011


and now we hear that several women have accused Cain of sexual harassment. More interesting, the Cain camp has not actually denied the allegations, merely attacked the story as thinly sourced.
posted by caddis at 7:05 AM on October 31, 2011


Smoking Man may have illegally funded Cain campaign.
posted by drezdn at 8:31 AM on October 31, 2011


My all time favorite campaign ad is still Mike Gravel's Rock.
posted by homunculus at 10:33 AM on October 31, 2011


Respected and accurate pollster PPP suggests Gingrich will be the primary beneficiary if Cain's support collapses. That should be Fun.
posted by Rhaomi at 2:48 PM on October 31, 2011


WATCH: Herman Cain's Evolving Response To Sexual Harassment Flap.
posted by ericb at 11:12 AM on November 1, 2011


Key conservative voices rally to Cain -- 'It's outrageous the way liberals treat a black conservative,' fumes pundit Ann Coulter
posted by ericb at 11:15 AM on November 1, 2011


Cain promises 'full investigation' into benefits from nonprofit -- "Herman Cain said he had authorized a 'full investigation' Tuesday into whether his campaign received improper benefits from a Wisconsin charity cofounded by his campaign manager."
posted by ericb at 11:17 AM on November 1, 2011


Lighten Up, Sweetheart! Cain Scandal Brings Back Old Stereotypes On The Right
posted by homunculus at 12:34 PM on November 2, 2011


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