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February 10, 2013 6:50 PM   Subscribe

6 Fast Food Mashups Worse Than The Doritos Taco (Trigger warning: vomiting)
posted by boo_radley (39 comments total) 2 users marked this as a favorite

 
Wait, wasn't the Doritos Taco considered a success? I understand they're doing a different Doritos flavored version soon.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 6:54 PM on February 10, 2013 [2 favorites]


eh...None of those sound all that bad. And those guys have pretty quick gag reflexes for frat boys.

Would totally eat a fruit pie double down. Actually kinda classes up the double down.
posted by es_de_bah at 6:54 PM on February 10, 2013


I don't consider that a matchup, per se. A better case could be made by combining two or more items from the same fast food menu or menus. For example, the McSurf and Turf.
posted by jsavimbi at 7:03 PM on February 10, 2013 [2 favorites]


I suddenly got an image of chocolate-dipped shrimp. Has such a thing ever been attempted?

After googling, I see that, sadly, I'm not the first to have imagined such a thing.
posted by darkstar at 7:09 PM on February 10, 2013


Depending on where you're coming from, all food is worse than the Doritos taco.
posted by griphus at 7:12 PM on February 10, 2013 [4 favorites]


Does this mean we're not getting a cooler ranch taco?
posted by mediated self at 7:14 PM on February 10, 2013


Wait ... what's wrong with the Doritos taco?
posted by The Great Big Mulp at 7:15 PM on February 10, 2013


Yes, they are now advertising the RANCH Doritos Taco.

I am as surprised and confused as you are.
posted by maryr at 7:16 PM on February 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


> Wait ... what's wrong with the Doritos taco?

Only that it has Taco Bell taco fillings inside it. If I could source me some dorito dust I would be going to down putting it on things.
posted by Space Coyote at 7:16 PM on February 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


The Doritos part, I think Big Mulp. Although it could be the taco bit that's wrong.
posted by maryr at 7:17 PM on February 10, 2013


Fucking lightweights.
posted by 2N2222 at 7:18 PM on February 10, 2013 [5 favorites]


Yep, it's coming soon from Taco Bell, to accompany the Nacho Cheese Doritos Taco... Cool Ranch.

Except for the intentional mismatching of sweet 'desert' items with main courses, there's nothing barfworthy here, and the tasters are obviously faking it.

Twigger warning: Fake vomiting

It must be noted that when McDonalds first introduced the Egg McMuffin, it was served in a double-sided "McDLT-like" container with all the egg, canadian bacon & cheese on half of the english muffin and a little packet of jelly (either Grape or 'Mixed Berry') provided to spread onto the bare half. It was a 'thing' for teenagers at the time (of which I was one) to smear on the jelly and put the sandwich back together for maximum one-handed breakfasting. Not vomit inducing... even today, I'll slip a layer of Smuckers onto a breakfast sausage-n-biscuit.

And, of course, there is the Iconic Thanksgiving Leftover Sandwich, that loads onto a french roll sliced turkey, dressing, gravy and cranberry sauce. It's the cranberry that makes it radical.

Of course, nearly everything in the "38 Variations on Poutine"previously here is crazier eating, as well, as all the mutant pizzas from Asian Pizza Huts. Heck, Jack in the Box's latest burger, the self-proclaimed Hot Mess, is more awesome than any of these 'wacky mashups'. And where the HELL did they get Hostess Snow Balls with all the Hostess bakeries shut down?

I am definitely overthinking a plate of beans & gummies.
posted by oneswellfoop at 7:24 PM on February 10, 2013 [4 favorites]


Well, I mean, I know its an abomination. But its a delicious abomination. Dreadful Taco Bell food well accompanies a Dorito shell in the view of my hyper-processed-chemical-super-food appreciating palate, anyway.
posted by The Great Big Mulp at 7:25 PM on February 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


Wait ... what's wrong with the Doritos taco?

For me, it's that it wasn't a taco wrapped in an actual Dorito shell. It was a taco wrapped in a regular shell that was dusted with Dorito seasoning. NOT THE SAME THING.

I had an idea in my head of what it would be, and it wasn't that. No bueno.
posted by padraigin at 7:33 PM on February 10, 2013 [4 favorites]


It must be noted that when McDonalds first introduced the Egg McMuffin, it was served in a double-sided "McDLT-like" container with all the egg, canadian bacon & cheese on half of the english muffin and a little packet of jelly (either Grape or 'Mixed Berry') provided to spread onto the bare half

I still do this with the McDonalds Big Breakfast. It now comes with a biscuit, but it used to be an English muffin. I make a sandwich with half a hash brown pattie, the sausage pattie, scrambled eggs, and grape jelly. It really is delicious.

The only problem with the Doritos taco is that the shell seems to lack the tensile strength or some other attribute necessary in a crunchy taco shell.

And why no Nachos Bel Grande with Doritos, seems like a no brainer.
posted by Ad hominem at 7:33 PM on February 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


As someone with a career in fine dining kitchens who now does brand strategy for restaurants - I love fast food. The worse the better. Dorito Taco? Yes! KFC Double Down?! YES!! There's a place downtown that serves a burger with a donut bun. A DONUT BUN!!! It's a love whose name cannot be spoken...
posted by elwoodwiles at 7:37 PM on February 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


Only that it has Taco Bell taco fillings inside it. If I could source me some dorito dust I would be going to down putting it on things.

I have heard some people put Doritos in a pepper mill.
posted by Ad hominem at 7:37 PM on February 10, 2013 [8 favorites]


I have heard some people put Doritos in a pepper mill.

That's brilliant.
posted by elwoodwiles at 7:39 PM on February 10, 2013 [2 favorites]


Lame
posted by Max Power at 7:40 PM on February 10, 2013


I must also note that the "2 for 99 cents" Jack in the Box tacos are the West Coast's answer to White Castle sliders for late night under-the-influence snacking. (Jack even made a commercial about it) Where is "Harold & Kumar Go to Jack in the Box" when we need it?

And the scariest combination actually available from a fast food chain in my neck of the woods is the Carls Jr. Teriyaki Burger, with "Teriyaki Glaze, Grilled Dole Pineapple, Swiss Cheese, Red Onion, Lettuce, Tomato and Mayonnaise"... yeah, Pineapple & Mayo, that's a combo. (And the Facebook page Carls set up for it has a big picture... of Fried Zucchini)
posted by oneswellfoop at 7:40 PM on February 10, 2013


yeah, Pineapple & Mayo, that's a combo

Only if you add jello and maybe marshmallows.

And just to bring things full circle ...
posted by maudlin at 7:48 PM on February 10, 2013


Anyway, none of these combos on the video look that bad. Now, if they had put a burger, fries, and shake into a blender, drinking the result would have been pretty gross.
posted by maudlin at 7:51 PM on February 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


All this talk of cheap hamburgers reminded me of Hot 'n' Now, i.e. the most accurately named restaurant of all time.
posted by The Card Cheat at 8:11 PM on February 10, 2013


I'll admit there is a certain comedic aspect to vomitting.

The first clip from a well known show that I ever saw involved the main character assembling all the ingredients of a Western Omlette in true cooking-show format. He chopped the red peppers and then ate them raw. He chopped some onions and ate them raw. He grated a good half a pound of cheese and scarfed it down. He broke four eggs, stirred them and ate that too. He even, I believe, swallowed a bit of salt and pepper. Then, he proceeded to vomit it all up into a non-stick frying pan. Then he cooked the omlette. Then he ate it. And then vomitted it again.

THAT was frat boy vomit humor.

This is just lightweight.
posted by cacofonie at 8:22 PM on February 10, 2013


Classy lighthearted, whimsical use of "trigger warning" there.
posted by edheil at 8:25 PM on February 10, 2013


I, for one, am grateful for that warning as I have a fear of vomiting and cannot stand to watch or hear someone do so.
posted by SuzySmith at 8:27 PM on February 10, 2013


oneswellfoop, that Teriyaki Burger from Carls Jr. is great. Add some pickled beets, bacon and a fried egg and you'd have something that was a half-decent burger. They were a regular drive-thru comfort food for West Coast drives, not quite like home but close, etc.
posted by N-stoff at 8:29 PM on February 10, 2013


I was querulous to a friend who liked jam and cheese on toast and he said "not that much different than butter and jam on toast now is it?"
posted by telstar at 8:29 PM on February 10, 2013


edheil: "Classy lighthearted, whimsical use of "trigger warning" there."

That was based on my wife expressing distress at the sounds. It wasn't meant to be light-hearted or whimsical. I tend not to trigger mock, and I'm sorry if it came across that way.
posted by boo_radley at 8:32 PM on February 10, 2013 [2 favorites]


Mmmhmm? Don't mind me, I'm just late-night-snacking on some lime bread with carbonated tomato juice.
posted by Nomyte at 8:35 PM on February 10, 2013


Only if you add jello and maybe marshmallows.

That's ridiculous. Everyone knows the proper combination is pineapple, uncooked jello powder, cottage cheese, and Cool Whip. (My family called it Fat Lady Salad. The proper Jello flavor is "red".)
posted by maryr at 8:36 PM on February 10, 2013


I don't consider that a matchup, per se. A better case could be made by combining two or more items from the same fast food menu or menus. For example, the McSurf and Turf.
posted by jsavimbi


I prefer the McGangBang.
posted by 445supermag at 8:43 PM on February 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


metafilter user 47978 (tube) act on youtube from the Jim Rose Circus.

This is the topmost endmember in this genre.
posted by bukvich at 8:48 PM on February 10, 2013


Oh good grief, I miss living in the US now. G'damn do I want a Hardy's Monster Burger RIGHT FRICKEN NOW. The closest (non movie theatre) Taco Bell to me is 45 minutes drive away. There does not exist a fried chicken chain in the West End for years, other than a KFC that opened a year or so ago at Oakridge Mall, but it doesn't even taste/feel like the KFCs of old.

And old age keeps me from driving 45 minutes, drunk, and back, just to get Taco Bell. There isn't even a gas station that sells "hot" "food" outside of a 10 minute drive or 35 minute walk.

posted by porpoise at 8:49 PM on February 10, 2013


Depending on where you're coming from, all food is worse than the Doritos taco.

Exactly true. For example, where I'm coming from, no food is worse than a Doritos taco.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 8:55 PM on February 10, 2013


Classy lighthearted, whimsical use of "trigger warning" there.

I think Trigger Warning would be an excellent band name.
posted by elwoodwiles at 9:48 PM on February 10, 2013


It's not too crazy, but I love strawberry milkshake + french fries. Especially because you can force a fry into the end of the straw and form a sort of one stop, hands-free fry baster and shake dispenser.
posted by lucidium at 7:14 AM on February 11, 2013


The McGangBang reminds me of the Ghetto Big Mac.
posted by plinth at 8:05 AM on February 11, 2013


Hey! The host of this little show is a former student of mine! Funny, smart guy. Good for him.
posted by Dr. Wu at 10:32 AM on February 11, 2013 [1 favorite]


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