Served with softened rice poles.
July 15, 2013 2:31 PM   Subscribe

 
...this is really Guy Fieri trying to tap into the other end of the spectrum, isn't it?
posted by Halloween Jack at 2:39 PM on July 15, 2013


Halloween Jack: "...this is really Guy Fieri trying to tap into the other end of the spectrum, isn't it?"

(tastes tickled hrak)
"WHOA TASTES LIKE YOU GOT SOME PAPRIKA IN THERE BROSKI."
posted by boo_radley at 2:42 PM on July 15, 2013 [1 favorite]


Background reading
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 2:42 PM on July 15, 2013 [1 favorite]




Forget it guys, it's Brooklyn.
posted by Ad hominem at 2:51 PM on July 15, 2013 [1 favorite]


"Crab dorks: with something else on it" made me LOL. This is nicely done.
posted by yoink at 2:52 PM on July 15, 2013


Thanks for turning that up BP: I debated researching it but enjoyed its standalone weirdness so much also.
posted by emjaybee at 2:57 PM on July 15, 2013 [1 favorite]


Its a parody of a festival they had in Prospect Park where the food was so bad they had to give everyone 100% refunds or something.
posted by Ad hominem at 2:57 PM on July 15, 2013


This review is amusing.

And though the glow-in-the-dark cake wasn’t edible, the desserts that were made up for it

Whatevs man, so some of the food is inedible. #YOLO
posted by Ad hominem at 3:01 PM on July 15, 2013


My current restaurant rage trigger is shit thrown on plates. it's like bright young chefs have all forgotten that cooking is a process whereby ingredients are combined to make something greater than the whole. Every restaurant in my city seems completely smitten with the idea of taking random and disparate ingredients, and scattering them artfully on a plate. Bonus points if you can make it look like it is growing, because I tend to forget vegetables are grown.
posted by Keith Talent at 3:02 PM on July 15, 2013 [1 favorite]


The Bill Clinton Sandwich is a roulade of beef served between the buns of a young intern.
posted by twoleftfeet at 3:06 PM on July 15, 2013


It was definitely hard to stifle my cackling, but it reads more like horse eBooks meets Guy Fieri than a satire of ever so precious haute cuisine.
posted by Admiral Haddock at 3:09 PM on July 15, 2013


I am seriously wondering why Historical Cusine Recration isn't a thing? I mean we've allready kind of did it with the huge trend in early 20th century food, why but recreate a rich monetary's feasts? Or best shot recreations of Pre Columbian Exchange Italian fare? Or or or or....
posted by The Whelk at 3:13 PM on July 15, 2013 [1 favorite]


( okay so maybe the demographic of people who would regularly eat a recreation of Tudor court Cusine is like me and the shade of Anne of Cleves whatever.)
posted by The Whelk at 3:17 PM on July 15, 2013


PORK SMEAR
posted by elizardbits at 3:23 PM on July 15, 2013 [1 favorite]


Someone linked this in a previous Guy Fieri post. Still good though.
posted by orme at 3:25 PM on July 15, 2013 [1 favorite]


Man, I could really go for some Polished Windhog Hrak right now.
posted by briank at 3:40 PM on July 15, 2013


The Flavored Wets was where I started to cry laughing.
posted by KathrynT at 3:45 PM on July 15, 2013


Well done yard meat for me, then deep fry it crispy.
posted by wotsac at 3:46 PM on July 15, 2013


I am seriously wondering why Historical Cusine Recration isn't a thing?

Because it turns out food trends of the past don't sound very appetizing to modern day people. It's not really like clothing or music where tastes are cyclical and retro phases correspond to a particular agreed-upon aesthetic.

Even today, everyone is going on about doing things "like your grandmother made", totally forgetting that everybody's grandmother used to make mock apple pie.

There's lots of nostaglia, but not very much accurate popular understanding of what people actually ate.

This gets much worse, of course, when you start talking about time periods outside of living memory.

I once refused to ironically patronize Medieval Times after finding out they serve tomato soup. That is not even REMOTELY historically accurate, y'all. Not even a little bit.
posted by Sara C. at 3:47 PM on July 15, 2013 [1 favorite]


I dunno. Three trouts on top of each other for $15 sounds like a pretty good deal. Depends on the trouts, I suppose.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 3:48 PM on July 15, 2013


Look, I know it's unreasonable for an entire food movement to rise up to pander to my particular tastes, buts what's what really should happen here ( ooOoooO brandy poached pear and dandelion salad!)
posted by The Whelk at 3:49 PM on July 15, 2013 [2 favorites]


In all seriousness, though, it is a thing among historical re-enactors and living history folks. And there are tons of culinary historians out there trading old recipes. It will just never catch on among the wider dining culture, because it's too expensive and nobody would actually like it, anyway.

There are a couple of restaurants in places like Colonial Williamsburg that do it to a certain degree of success. My guess is that the kitchens don't actually use historical techniques, and the menus and recipes aren't from historical sources, it's just menu items that one might have found at the time.

I had some kind of Ye Olde Early American Ale made from Thomas Jefferson's recipe, once, at like Fraunces Tavern or maybe the Philadelphia equivalent. It was good. It tasted like beer.
posted by Sara C. at 3:51 PM on July 15, 2013


The Whelk, you need to go to one of Sarah Lohman's period pub crawls.
posted by Sara C. at 3:53 PM on July 15, 2013


See now I want Jefferson's Ale.
posted by The Whelk at 3:54 PM on July 15, 2013


I'm pretty sure I got it at some kind of Olde Tymey Taverne in Philadelphia over by the Liberty Bell and Betsy Ross' house and all that nonsense. I'd be surprised if Fraunces Tavern did not also carry it.
posted by Sara C. at 3:56 PM on July 15, 2013


Yards makes three beers based on Revolution-era recipes (one from Jefferson, one from Washington, and one from Franklin). I actually once heard one of their head brewers describe the process of re-creating beers from recipes that amout to "boyle a goodly amount of barley, add a pinche of yeast, and wait until finished" - as you could imagine, it was kind of tricky.

It's pretty easy to find the revolution beers in and around Philly; Jefferson's is the least impressive of the three. If you can find the Franklin one, its amazing.
posted by Itaxpica at 4:11 PM on July 15, 2013 [3 favorites]


I am seriously wondering why Historical Cusine Recration isn't a thing?

No shit. Yesterday I had my my picture taken in Huntingon, NY, next to a place where George Washington dined. Park Ave Deli & Catering is right there, and I got a great pastrami sandwich. I had my picture taken, eating that pastrami sandwich, in the very same spot where Washington would have eaten that pastrami sandwich.
posted by twoleftfeet at 4:19 PM on July 15, 2013 [1 favorite]


My dad has a reprint of an old English cookbook where one recipe starts off "First chase ye the Pygge about the yard until he doth lie down" or words to that effect.
posted by KathrynT at 4:22 PM on July 15, 2013 [3 favorites]




twoleftfeet: "The Bill Clinton Sandwich is a roulade of beef served between the buns of a young intern."

Sounds good, but as an adventure involving the diner in the creation of the holistic food experience, do I get to check out the intern stock ahead of time, so I am empowered in culinary genesis?
posted by Samizdata at 5:00 PM on July 15, 2013


I loved this menu. I lost it at "Six Hot Dog Weiners."

Here's a more or less random example of why we don't go in for much culinary retro business from the Western dining tradition -- it's too creamy and too bland. Sweets are easier to relate to, but the out-of-fashion desserts from the old days, like Nesselrode pudding and Lady Baltimore cake, are too fusty, spicy and raisiny.
posted by Countess Elena at 7:05 PM on July 15, 2013


I found the menu to be medium-funny, but man did rifflesby's link just totally make the damn thread for me.

What the hell is this Tumblr?
posted by rollbiz at 7:45 PM on July 15, 2013


rollbiz, it's the brainchild of graphic designer Sean Tejaratchi.

Man, all this food talk is making me hongry. I could really go for some Shrimp Quarantines right now.
posted by otherthings_ at 9:27 PM on July 15, 2013


CARDINAL PUNCH
posted by flaterik at 9:29 PM on July 15, 2013


Whelk, Grant Achatz's restaurant Next had a Paris 1906 menu once.
posted by novalis_dt at 11:28 PM on July 15, 2013


ONCE.
posted by The Whelk at 11:33 PM on July 15, 2013


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