December 12, 2001

1:03 PM

In an effort to keep CitizenX alive, Halcyon Styn is selling himself for 24 hours. He'll fly to your city and do anything you want, if you've got the cash. Bid now, as it closes in just a couple hours. Like Hunter S said, "When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro."
posted by mathowie (36 comments total)

I think Halcyon might be the only person(ality) on the Web who could get away with that.

I'd bid, but what the hell would I do with a Halcyon Styn?
posted by solistrato at 1:09 PM on December 12, 2001

Free-will slavery. Nice.
Wow, 500$ already.
This world is indeed weird.
posted by XiBe at 1:12 PM on December 12, 2001

I'd bid, but what the hell would I do with a Halcyon Styn?

Scott, have you thought of trying some sort of Cyrano thing, where Halcyon woos all the women, you write his lines, and eventually they figure out you're the magical one?
posted by mathowie at 1:13 PM on December 12, 2001

Hmm.. my apartment could stand to be cleaned...
posted by zempf at 1:15 PM on December 12, 2001

the only person(ality) on the Web who could get away with that

What? Use a free air ticket to auction himself off? Oh, puh-leeze...
posted by mischief at 1:24 PM on December 12, 2001

After checking out this guy's website I'd pay him $1000.00 to fly here so I could punch him in the face.
posted by bondcliff at 1:26 PM on December 12, 2001

If I had the dinero I could get him to sit thru a church service.....heheheh......
posted by bunnyfire at 1:30 PM on December 12, 2001

I'd never seen CitizenX before. But speaking of worthy sites in trouble, Chowhound apparently can use some help. Perhaps it's time to buy some hyperstylish chowware to keep them alive.
posted by muckster at 1:49 PM on December 12, 2001

The web-celeb equivalent of an MTV 'you're favorite band to party at your house' thang.

Except, of course, for the corporate sponsorship.

Damn non-corporate web.

Wait, why didn't Halcyon think about getting Nike or the airline he's using to sponsor the whole contest thing?
posted by rich at 1:49 PM on December 12, 2001

Um, isn't mathowie violating his own site guidelines by providing free publicity for this act of prostitution?
posted by donkeyschlong at 1:58 PM on December 12, 2001

Bondcliff: Are you taking donations?
posted by dack at 1:59 PM on December 12, 2001

bondcliff, how about $750 to Try? no fist contact guaranteed? Halcyon is a nice guy. All about love...but i doubt he would let you hit him.

halcyon, what type of reaction have you had to this?
posted by th3ph17 at 2:04 PM on December 12, 2001

reading some of the bidders posts...you taking a chaperone?
posted by th3ph17 at 2:07 PM on December 12, 2001

Is this some kind of cult?
posted by techgnollogic at 2:11 PM on December 12, 2001

I thought all the hipsters here would have heard of Halcyon long ago.

It's not a cult, but he's pretty well known.

Ok, it's a cult.
posted by jragon at 2:13 PM on December 12, 2001

donkeyschlong: how so? Matt owns the place.
posted by tomorama at 2:15 PM on December 12, 2001

If I had the cash, I'd hire him as a one-day fashion muse and go shopping. It'd be fun to see what he'd do with my dichromatic wardrobe...

-Mars
posted by Mars Saxman at 2:30 PM on December 12, 2001

Will Halcyon be my own personal Megway? Halcyonway isn't so easy to roll off the tongue. And I'd feel bad about storing him in the trunk, although I would guess the Halcyonway is taller than the Megway. Hm.
posted by hijinx at 2:31 PM on December 12, 2001

hal-way
posted by rebeccablood at 2:34 PM on December 12, 2001

I think Halcyon might be the only person(ality) on the Web who could get away with that.

Oh, I dunno. I'd bid on Mulholland Drive's Laura Elena Harring.
posted by Shadowkeeper at 2:35 PM on December 12, 2001

oh, i've heard of him... I just forget who he is by the time i hear of him again.
posted by techgnollogic at 2:36 PM on December 12, 2001

Nice body. Firm body. Supple body. Healthy lungs. Liver not so good. Blood match... fine.
posted by holloway at 2:46 PM on December 12, 2001

Scott, have you thought of trying some sort of Cyrano thing, where Halcyon woos all the women, you write his lines, and eventually they figure out you're the magical one?

That's absolutely brilliant! Hmmmm, who to woo, though? Any suggestions?
posted by solistrato at 2:48 PM on December 12, 2001

rcb: Can I store my Halway in the hallway? Sorry.
posted by hijinx at 2:50 PM on December 12, 2001

I suppose I could use a new weapons testing subject....
posted by aramaic at 3:03 PM on December 12, 2001

th3ph17: Reactions have been giggle-filled and enthusiastic within the CitizenX community. Outside the community, only 1 threat of violence so far. Thanks, bondcliff. ;)

Most people that follow my online wanderings are not too surprised.
(Nor are they surprised that I go to church every week.)

The bottom line is that I love the community I'm a part of. I would do far more wacky things to save it. This auction is a win-win-win:

-I get an adventure
-The community gets a chance at survival.
-And some generous person helps out the community and gets a personal thank you hug (and maybe a game of pool) from the founder.

I know I would LOVE to have Matt over at my place for a night. I'd thank him for MeFi and dress him up in my fir pants.
posted by halcyon at 3:52 PM on December 12, 2001

.... we're not too far off from having a promotion involving a real-audio stream of popular webloggers jumping on trampolines.

i'm not sure if i would actually to pay for that or not, just because of it's silliness (the reason why i would.). i'd like to see webloggers read their more personal entries while jumping on trampolines... in skirts. yeah, now that's entertainment.
posted by lotsofno at 6:22 PM on December 12, 2001

Fir pants?!? Ye GODS Man, the SPLINTERS!!!

That being said, I would contribute to a Matt Visits the House of Styn dress up party, as long as there were pictures... Of course, I'd also like to speak to the winner of the Win Halcyon for a day contest about pictures... It's all about the pictures.
posted by CrazyUncleJoe at 6:42 PM on December 12, 2001

I have been to his website and I AM surprised to hear him say he goes to church every week.......
does he sit next to Michael Valentine Smith?
posted by bunnyfire at 6:44 PM on December 12, 2001

Scott, have you thought of trying some sort of Cyrano thing, where Halcyon woos all the women, you write his lines, and eventually they figure out you're the magical one?

But we women already know that Scott is the magical one - plus, he is waaaaayyyyy too cute to be the one hiding in the bushes while another man speaks his lines.
posted by kristin at 8:16 PM on December 12, 2001

But we women already know that Scott is the magical one - plus, he is waaaaayyyyy too cute to be the one hiding in the bushes while another man speaks his lines.

But rippled abs! RIPPLED ABS!!! Who can resist rippled abs?

Time to Abdominize. And then my victory will be complete.
posted by solistrato at 9:13 PM on December 12, 2001

Gotta chime in on the "No, but he's actually a really good guy!" meme. I only met halcyon once, but he was easily one of the friendliest people I've ever met. Very easy to talk to. Which is doubly amazing since he was wearing leather chaps and some kind of lace short-shorts assembly at the time, if I recall correctly. Now that's personality, I have to tell you.

But I'm still never going anywhere near the Webbys again.
posted by rusty at 9:13 PM on December 12, 2001

Update: we raised over $1000.

I'm actually gonna fly and visit two seperate people. (Detroit and Seattle.) I leave at 9 in the morn and return on Saturday.

Rusty, The leather chaps are staying at home. (But the blue fur is coming with.)
posted by halcyon at 1:50 AM on December 13, 2001

Who cares about Halcyon? What's the current bid on Heather Champ? (Shhh, don't tell Powazek.)
posted by johnnyace at 2:29 AM on December 13, 2001

JenniCam's been doing it for years without leaving her house.

(duck)
posted by rich at 7:37 AM on December 13, 2001

Matt in Fur pants.
some things in life are priceless.
for everything else there is paypal.
posted by th3ph17 at 1:07 PM on December 13, 2001