MY CAR
October 25, 2013 11:58 AM   Subscribe

Don't you just hate it when you're late for meeting after going to the store?
posted by griphus (83 comments total) 60 users marked this as a favorite
 
Surprising, hilarious and fantastic. Best of the everything.
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 12:08 PM on October 25, 2013


This actually happened to me once.
posted by Jofus at 12:09 PM on October 25, 2013 [15 favorites]


The fact that "going to the store" guy and now his car are not playable characters/objects in some sort of game I can buy is capitalism's greatest current failure.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 12:09 PM on October 25, 2013 [10 favorites]


I didn't know how much I missed that guy until I saw him again. I'm seriously having a romantic comedy moment here if Zooey Deschanel was a hairless Ken-groin CGI dude.
posted by cortex at 12:10 PM on October 25, 2013 [2 favorites]


Some great advice here. Upvoted.
posted by Greg Nog at 12:10 PM on October 25, 2013 [1 favorite]


Well, that was nightmarish in a way my brain couldn't have foreseen.
posted by Kitteh at 12:10 PM on October 25, 2013 [5 favorites]


The fact that "going to the store" guy and now his car are not playable characters/objects in some sort of game I can buy is capitalism's greatest current failure.

Isn't he the QWOP guy?
posted by bondcliff at 12:12 PM on October 25, 2013 [1 favorite]


...if Zooey Deschanel was a hairless Ken-groin CGI dude.

Manic Pixie Nightmare Golem
posted by griphus at 12:12 PM on October 25, 2013 [60 favorites]


Also, how did I not comment in the previous thread about this guy? Because I remember having SO MANY THOUGHTS about it (though Kitteh pretty much has it covered -- as did others probably in that thread.)
posted by MCMikeNamara at 12:13 PM on October 25, 2013


Ahh. Previous thread made the QWOP reference already. And here I was thinking I was making my first ever original joke.
posted by bondcliff at 12:14 PM on October 25, 2013 [1 favorite]


This is pure undiluted happiness.
posted by idiopath at 12:20 PM on October 25, 2013


filed in the WTF folder and soon to be email blasted to all my corporate drone friends.

very nice.

me like!
posted by lampshade at 12:20 PM on October 25, 2013


I feel like this was posted here a year or two ago, but can't find it.
posted by mathowie at 12:26 PM on October 25, 2013


Oh wait, it's new, probably by the same guy that did a similar shorter movie a while ago.
posted by mathowie at 12:26 PM on October 25, 2013


The "going to the store" video, you mean? Or dare I hope there's a third?
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 12:34 PM on October 25, 2013


Or dare I hope there's a third?

The credit line reads: "David Lewandowski·2 videos"

Without even looking, I can take a guess what the other one is.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 12:38 PM on October 25, 2013


Don't you just hate it when newbies comment before they read all the links in a post?
posted by Curious Artificer at 12:40 PM on October 25, 2013 [36 favorites]


Okay then.
posted by zarq at 12:41 PM on October 25, 2013


So, um, anyone from Santa Monica want to have a go at my suggestion yet?
posted by Anything at 12:43 PM on October 25, 2013 [1 favorite]


I don't generally look at YouTube comments because, you know, I have to watch my SAN points, but "your move, pixar" is kind of genius.
posted by The Bellman at 12:46 PM on October 25, 2013 [9 favorites]


> Ahh. Previous thread made the QWOP reference already.

And yet no-one made an ED-209 joke about his facility with stairs. Please allow me to rectify that.
posted by The Card Cheat at 12:51 PM on October 25, 2013


This was basically my lunch break today, though I did park crooked in the liquor store parking lot and stumble inside. I was not drunk at the time.
posted by Ghostride The Whip at 12:55 PM on October 25, 2013


This actually happened to me once.

You should definitely get more calcium in your diet.
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 12:55 PM on October 25, 2013 [9 favorites]


All televised political debates must in future include him and his whole-body-twerking ticket.
posted by aesop at 12:56 PM on October 25, 2013 [1 favorite]


Reminds me of Gary's Mod.
posted by EndsOfInvention at 12:57 PM on October 25, 2013 [1 favorite]


i find ur ideas appealing and would like to scfscuubscibe to ur youtubes.
posted by Slap*Happy at 12:58 PM on October 25, 2013 [3 favorites]


Whatever the creator of THAT was smoking? Do not want.
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 1:04 PM on October 25, 2013 [1 favorite]


The moment where he tosses the bags of groceries away? Happiest thing ever.
posted by Joey Michaels at 1:05 PM on October 25, 2013 [6 favorites]


The fact that "going to the store" guy and now his car are not playable characters/objects in some sort of game I can buy is capitalism's greatest current failure.

Some of the people around the rifts in Saints Row IV aren't all that far off I suppose.
posted by Anything at 1:07 PM on October 25, 2013 [1 favorite]


Okay, can I just ask a how question here? How is that thing animated/ photoshopped/ or did somebody stuff a sackful of cats in a skin suit.
posted by angrycat at 1:12 PM on October 25, 2013 [4 favorites]


... well, not that you can play those.
posted by Anything at 1:16 PM on October 25, 2013


My hypothesis is that he's using photos as textures on animated CGI models, and then animating them in that really weird stop-motion sort of way. I suspect it looks "realer" because it doesn't have that slick, unnatural flow that CGI animation tends to.
posted by griphus at 1:18 PM on October 25, 2013


Nobody ever says it, but it's the music that makes these videos great. It's a very fake person in a very real-looking world dancing jubilantly to these sublimely saccharine proto-jingles. How would you do it any other way?
posted by oceanjesse at 1:18 PM on October 25, 2013 [2 favorites]


It makes me sad that I will probably never see that in real life.
posted by The World Famous at 1:21 PM on October 25, 2013 [4 favorites]


It looks real because that's some pretty damn nice compositing. Great matches on lighting, shadow lines, reflections, and motion tracking (making the CG stuff seem connected to the ground even though the camera is shaking around). It's basically a VFX showoff reel.
posted by echo target at 1:23 PM on October 25, 2013 [4 favorites]


So how does he get the reflection of the golem thing to show up in the window that it's passing, if it's CGI?

TBH really I want to find out that there was a very jubilant and flexible being inside a skin suit.
posted by angrycat at 1:24 PM on October 25, 2013 [1 favorite]


It's two horses in a man costume.
posted by griphus at 1:25 PM on October 25, 2013 [30 favorites]


I'd just like to say that, being unable to watch this video until i get home, reading the comments here is eerie and terrifying. What strange hilarity awaits me on my home computer?
posted by showbiz_liz at 1:25 PM on October 25, 2013 [6 favorites]


So how does he get the reflection of the golem thing to show up in the window that it's passing, if it's CGI?

Same way any CGI object ever has a reflection in any animation: you set up an additional rendering surface, rendering the scene or object from the appropriate angle, and composite that into the scene as well.

I'd just like to say that, being unable to watch this video until i get home, reading the comments here is eerie and terrifying. What strange hilarity awaits me on my home computer?

I would really, really love it if you could sit down and digest what you're imagining and write like a detailed five-hundred word summary before watching. I'm not sure what I'd imagine if I hadn't seen these and someone tried to describe it.
posted by cortex at 1:31 PM on October 25, 2013 [10 favorites]


showbiz_liz, do watch them in order, i.e. the 'going to the store' one first. They won't make sense otherwise.
posted by Anything at 1:32 PM on October 25, 2013 [21 favorites]


They won't make sense otherwise regardless.

FTFY.
posted by meronym at 1:39 PM on October 25, 2013 [7 favorites]


how does he get the reflection of the golem thing to show up in the window that it's passing

It's been a while since I did anything like this, and I wasn't as good as these guys, but the basic process would go something like this:

1. Record the video on location.
2. Analyze the video with a bit of software that figures out exactly how the camera's moving in the real scene (the motion tracker). When I did this we had to physically measure points on location, but maybe they've automated this part now.
3. Create an empty CG scene.
4. Put a virtual camera in the CG scene. This is the point of view that the final video will be rendered from.
5. Apply the data from the motion tracker to the virtual camera. Your virtual camera now moves identically to your physical camera. This means that you can place an object in your CG scene, layer it on top of the real footage, and it will appear to be stuck to the real scene.
6. Model & animate your character. Light it to match the real scene for light direction, intensity, color, etc.
7. Create a reflective surface, making sure to place it in exactly the same place in the CG set that the real one was in the real location. This will basically look at your scene from the angle of the reflective surface and render anything it sees, just like a real mirror would.
8. Make the image on the reflective surface be partly transparent, since that's how window reflections work.
9. Render the scene from the virtual camera. You'll get a movie that's mostly transparent, with just the character and its reflection in it.
10. Put the CG stuff on top of the real stuff.
11. Congratulations, it worked! Or, in my experience, probably not. Every step needs lots of tweaking to make everything come out correctly. There's a lot that can go wrong. That's what I meant by saying this is basically a VFX showoff reel - there's a lot of tricky work to make something like this convincing.
posted by echo target at 1:41 PM on October 25, 2013 [13 favorites]


but the basic process would go something like this:

01 prance
02 partey
03 maek movi
posted by elizardbits at 2:00 PM on October 25, 2013 [15 favorites]


I would really, really love it if you could sit down and digest what you're imagining and write like a detailed five-hundred word summary before watching.

From people's comments in the thread, I'm imagining it's something like Vincent D'Onofrio in Men in Black walking like there's a double-jointed insectoid wearing his skin.
posted by straight at 2:02 PM on October 25, 2013 [1 favorite]


That's actually rather accurate.
posted by zarq at 2:14 PM on October 25, 2013 [3 favorites]


I love how this bit implies that the music is just what it sounds like near Mannequin Protagonist.
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 2:15 PM on October 25, 2013 [3 favorites]


If Edgar The Bug had been really, really thrilled to be a sextuple-jointed skinsuit-wearing bugman, and also nudist, you would get these videos.
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 2:18 PM on October 25, 2013 [1 favorite]


Man I thought echo target's explanation would take away some of the magic but after reading through it several times it may as well have started off with DOUBLE DOUBLE RENDER TROUBLE.
posted by griphus at 2:19 PM on October 25, 2013


I think this is my spirit animal.
posted by cmyk at 2:20 PM on October 25, 2013 [8 favorites]


I can't unsee that. Now every time I rewatch these, I'm going to be waiting for him to demand sugar. In water.
posted by zarq at 2:20 PM on October 25, 2013 [1 favorite]


"I think this is my spirit animal."

You might want to read this before you go any further.
posted by komara at 2:27 PM on October 25, 2013 [23 favorites]


Guys, he's evolving. This time, he got to the stairs and he figured out how to go up.
posted by onlyconnect at 2:52 PM on October 25, 2013


I love that his car says MY CAR on one side and ME CAR on the other
posted by 235w103 at 2:58 PM on October 25, 2013 [1 favorite]


Whenever I'm in a boring or frustrating situation I fantasize about dance storming out of there all naked, boneless ken-doll style.

I don't think it works without the music.
posted by The Whelk at 3:00 PM on October 25, 2013 [2 favorites]


I think it actually says ME SIDE on the other, which makes more sense, and which was a nice detail I didn't notice until the second viewing.

I don't really want to admit how many times I watched this...
posted by C'est la D.C. at 3:00 PM on October 25, 2013 [1 favorite]


We really ought to start a fundraiser somewhere to buy that poor guy some sandals.
posted by ardgedee at 3:20 PM on October 25, 2013


We were promised jetpacks.
posted by Lipstick Thespian at 3:39 PM on October 25, 2013


The footage looks to be filmed in the east bay, but this has such a Japanese delight-in-the-absurd feel to it. Probably the music...

It would be my guess this was done with glitchy/corrupted motion cap data.
posted by danny the boy at 3:53 PM on October 25, 2013


Can't wait until the poor schlub is late for a wax appointment after going swimming.
posted by paulsc at 4:19 PM on October 25, 2013


No no no no no. That thing is pure nightmare fuel. I wish I could un-see it. How can the rest of you watch that thing move? This is Uncanny Valley/body horror territory to me.
posted by quiet earth at 4:19 PM on October 25, 2013 [1 favorite]


The footage looks to be filmed in the east bay

It's L.A., man.
posted by The World Famous at 4:22 PM on October 25, 2013


I wish I had made a recording of my seven and four-year-olds watching this. It's like this was custom-made to be the funniest thing they could possibly imagine. My son might have pulled a muscle laughing so hard.
posted by Pater Aletheias at 5:00 PM on October 25, 2013 [7 favorites]


This ebullient dancing angel, and duckling slide, on the same day? Is this some kind of JOY holiday? You're doing it right, internet!
posted by perhapsolutely at 5:05 PM on October 25, 2013 [1 favorite]


The making of going to the store will answer many of your technical questions, and zero of your creative ones.
posted by Jon Mitchell at 5:07 PM on October 25, 2013 [1 favorite]


Is this the new Tool video or something?
posted by King Bee at 5:15 PM on October 25, 2013 [5 favorites]


I would really, really love it if you could sit down and digest what you're imagining and write like a detailed five-hundred word summary before watching. I'm not sure what I'd imagine if I hadn't seen these and someone tried to describe it.

Well, based on the comments before my first one, I'm imagining some sort of terrifyingly jittering nude man, possibly who looks like a bunch of unnamable horrors shoved into a skin suit. He possesses an unsettling personal magnetism, charming the viewer even as he repels them.

And I'm pretty sure he... goes to a store.

Ok gonna watch it now
posted by showbiz_liz at 5:43 PM on October 25, 2013 [11 favorites]


Watched it. So basically yeah correct assumptions
posted by showbiz_liz at 5:46 PM on October 25, 2013 [9 favorites]


Somebody needs to make sure that Thomas Ligotti gets a look at these videos.
posted by Ipsifendus at 5:49 PM on October 25, 2013 [1 favorite]


He possesses an unsettling personal magnetism, charming the viewer even as he repels them.

yes

Also now I wish I had watched these the showbiz_liz way.
posted by sweetkid at 5:55 PM on October 25, 2013 [1 favorite]


Also now I wish I had watched these the showbiz_liz way.

Well, let me tell you, I do everything the showbiz_liz way and it's worked out pretty ok for me
posted by showbiz_liz at 6:06 PM on October 25, 2013 [18 favorites]


haha! sweetkid way is a ok.
posted by sweetkid at 6:17 PM on October 25, 2013 [1 favorite]


Watched this about four times. Still dying at the MY CAR sequence.

I want this guy to star in a series of short adventures. It has to be expensive and time-consuming work, though. I'm particularly impressed by the slapping of the feet on the linoleum floor in the store. It's so upsettingly real.
posted by Countess Elena at 6:25 PM on October 25, 2013 [3 favorites]


My wife hasn't seen Prometheus yet. Going to cut this in.
posted by hal9k at 6:37 PM on October 25, 2013 [17 favorites]


There's a lot of great/horrible stuff here, but, personally, this is the only thing that has ever made me regret painting a giant dollar sign on my old car, when I should have just gone with "MY CAR." (It also would have made reporting it stolen a little funnier, somehow.)

sigh.
posted by MsDaniB at 6:53 PM on October 25, 2013 [8 favorites]


This video is the only true thing
posted by Sticherbeast at 7:29 PM on October 25, 2013 [5 favorites]


BERTON: It was naked — completely naked — like a newborn baby. It was wet, or I should say glossy; its skin was shiny. I was shattered. I no longer thought it was a mirage. I could see this child so distinctly. It rose and fell with the waves; but apart from this general motion, it was making other movements, and they were horrible!

QUESTION: Why? What was it doing?

BERTON: It was more like a doll in a museum, only a living doll. It opened and closed its mouth, it made various gestures, horrible gestures.

QUESTION: What do you mean?

BERTON: I was watching it from about twenty yards away — I don't suppose I went any closer. But, as I've already told you, it was enormous. I could see very clearly. Its eyes sparkled and you really would have thought it was a living child, if it hadn't been for the movements, the gestures, as though someone was trying . . . It was as though someone else was responsible for the gestures . . .

QUESTION: Try to be more explicit.

BERTON: It's difficult. I'm talking of an impression, more of an intuition. I didn't analyze it, but I knew that those gestures weren't natural.

QUESTION: Do you mean, for example, that the hands didn't move as human hands would move, because the joints were not sufficiently supple?

BERTON: No, not at all. But . . . these movements had no meaning. Each of our movements means something, more or less, serves some purpose . . .

QUESTION: Do you think so? The movements of an infant don't have much meaning!

BERTON: I know. But an infant's movements are confused, random, uncoordinated. The movements I saw were . . . er . . . yes, that's it, they were methodical movements. They were performed one after another, like a series of exercises; as though someone had wanted to make a study of what this child was capable of doing with its hands, its torso, its mouth. The face was more horrifying than the rest, because the human face has an expression, and this face . . . I don't know how to describe it. It was alive, yes, but it wasn't human. Or rather, the features as a whole, the eyes, the complexion, were, but the expression, the movements of the face, were certainly not.

QUESTION: Were they grimaces? Do you know what happens to a person's face during an epileptic fit?

BERTON: Yes. I've watched an epileptic fit. I know what you mean. No, it was something quite different. Epilepsy provokes spasms, convulsions. The movements I'm talking about were fluid, continuous, graceful . . . melodious, if one can say that of a movement. It's the nearest definition I can think of. But this face . . . a face can't divide itself into two — one half gay, the other sad, one half scowling and the other amiable, one half frightened and the other triumphant. But that's how it was with this child's face. In addition to that, all these movements and changes of expression succeeded one another with unbelievable rapidity. I stayed down there a very short time, perhaps ten seconds, perhaps less.

(description of alien phenomenon. Solaris, by Stanisław Lem)
posted by Tom-B at 7:48 PM on October 25, 2013 [10 favorites]


These videos are made by a friend of mine. I have no insight into how they are made, but he's done a ton of amazing work in movies like Oblivion & Tron and is basically a vfx genius. The fake-bad-but-actually-flawless effects are totally intentional.
posted by ejoey at 7:52 PM on October 25, 2013 [14 favorites]


The username on the account is "badmocap", and since the filmmaker is obviously L.A.-based and very good at compositing, I'm gonna say the username is short for "bad motion capture", and the movements are the result of some bad/corrupted motion capture data the guy ended up with and decided to have fun with.

Having said that: the kids liked it, but I laughed so hard I couldn't stop crying, which seems oddly appropriate.
posted by davejay at 7:54 PM on October 25, 2013 [3 favorites]


Yeah, the movement looks like every 3D CGI creature I've ever tried to make move: poorly rigged bones, causing bizarre contortions and unnatural spasms. Making movement look natural in 3D is hard, even using motion capture. So it seems like the animator embraced that and did as good a job as they could with everything else, then made the bizarre movement a feature (?) rather than a bug.
posted by jiawen at 7:43 AM on October 26, 2013


OMG this guy worked on Lasagna Cat with Fatal Farm! A true American hero
posted by jcruelty at 8:02 AM on October 26, 2013 [1 favorite]


My 7 year old daughter said "Is that a real man, or a robot? . . . definitely a robot. That is DEFINITELY a robot."

"That is. . . definitely a really . . . a really weird robot."
posted by KathrynT at 9:54 AM on October 26, 2013 [2 favorites]


So I want to record for posterity here that the music from going to the store just came on at the place I was eating breakfast at. I looked all around for the man but I guess he was outside somewhere.
posted by invitapriore at 10:15 AM on October 26, 2013 [12 favorites]


basically a vfx genius. The fake-bad-but-actually-flawless effects are totally intentional.

I believe it! The first time I saw it, I assumed it was actually a puppet, as the lighting on the CGI model is fucking perfect. It's one of the most technically impressive things I've ever seen, as well as the funniest. Tell your friend he is extraordinary.
posted by Greg Nog at 10:39 AM on October 26, 2013 [1 favorite]


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