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December 17, 2013 5:21 AM   Subscribe

The Eggnog Project is the collection of Madeleine Eiche. "The peculiarities of the packaging range from festive to banal, minimal to unappetizing, and each seem to be printed with complete disregard for color alignment. It is precisely these things that make for such compelling kitsch."
posted by oneswellfoop (57 comments total) 17 users marked this as a favorite

 
I want to taste test them all please.
posted by ThatCanadianGirl at 5:25 AM on December 17, 2013 [9 favorites]


The peculiarities of the packaging range from festive to banal, minimal to unappetizing, and each seem to be printed with complete disregard for color alignment.

Seasonal, short-run printing. Probably still using plates made umpteen years ago, with the exception of the K plate, which probably has to be updated every year to reflect changes in ingredients or .gov labeling requirements. As a designer, I really appreciate this sort of industrial, kitschy, almost naive printing.

I also loves me some egg nog, but, in my neck of the woods, it's damned impossible to find any that isn't a carton full of HFCS goo.
posted by Thorzdad at 5:39 AM on December 17, 2013 [5 favorites]


“Lait de poule”? And I thought “egg nog” sounded unappetizing enough.
posted by letourneau at 5:44 AM on December 17, 2013 [7 favorites]


in my neck of the woods, it's damned impossible to find any that isn't a carton full of HFCS goo

Its not at all hard to make your own. Which will then contain the all-important bourbon, which isn't present in the supermarket stuff. See also Tom and Jerry.

I think I need to start making a shopping list for the way home from work.
posted by TedW at 5:47 AM on December 17, 2013 [5 favorites]


I also loves me some egg nog, but, in my neck of the woods, it's damned impossible to find any that isn't a carton full of HFCS goo.

Homemade eggnog has a very high "deliciousness to work" ratio.
posted by the man of twists and turns at 5:48 AM on December 17, 2013 [5 favorites]


The one time I made homemade eggnog it was for a party, and then everyone refused to drink it because of the raw eggs. This was very much their loss, as it was delicious.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 5:50 AM on December 17, 2013 [3 favorites]


This is wonderful! I have always had a love for the little outliers in the world of commercial design. It's true, as Thorzdad says, why bother redesigning when the season is so short, and in fact the nostalgia and maybe recognizability of a briefly available product is a plus.

The Guida's box is actually kind of a recent update on their older design. By "recent" I mean "in the last 15 years." When I went to college in CT, that swoopy text saying "egg nog" and wreath design were not present.

Also, egg nog is so great. I always get some this time of year,usually to have spiked with bourbon. In fact, I kind of have to restrain myself, because I just want to drink it and drink it and drink it, it's so tasty. But it is insanely caloric. My brother actually drank it daily in high school to try to put on weight - and it's basically a protein shake. It also bugs me that I haven't found any not made with HFCS. I know you can make it on your own, and I'm sure it's good, but I would only do it with local eggs.

Anyway, great project, great post.
posted by Miko at 5:52 AM on December 17, 2013 [2 favorites]


I also really like that these are presented so cleanly - no design snark, just great photographs. Impressive restraint; especially when I look at that Guida's box and note the river of eggnog floating from a supernova behind Santa's sleigh to pour out over all the land. Seriously though, it's refreshing just to show something in appreciation.
posted by Miko at 5:58 AM on December 17, 2013 [4 favorites]


Loves me some Chicken Milk!
posted by acroyear at 6:07 AM on December 17, 2013


Folks, hold on to your hats and behold EGGNOG FLORENTINES. I made these suckers two days ago and they are all gone.
posted by gwint at 6:09 AM on December 17, 2013 [3 favorites]


AskMefi: Are there nogs other than eggnog? Google is failing me. Even on the assumption that non-egg-nog would be a radically different drink, I'd certainly be interested in X-nog for some values of X.

Greg Nog does not count.
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 6:18 AM on December 17, 2013 [5 favorites]


Oh my, do I love eggnog. I look forward to it all year. Right now J. R. Watkins Vanilla Eggnog is my favorite but I also love Organic Valley.

Also, Eggnog Gelato is amazing.

That said, this project so far seems a little biased to the east coast. I'd like to see some more regional midwestern dairy represented.
posted by triggerfinger at 6:22 AM on December 17, 2013 [1 favorite]


what's funny about this project to me is that i've had some of the eggnog in these packages--but not from the specific dairy here. some of these are patterns--like the one from jamacia new york--are used by other dairies.
posted by lester at 6:25 AM on December 17, 2013


justsomebody: i did see something strangely nog-like at target this year but wasn't inspired enough to try it because it was the house brand. looked okay, though.
posted by lester at 6:27 AM on December 17, 2013 [1 favorite]


“Lait de poule”? And I thought “egg nog” sounded unappetizing enough.

Indeed, the French expression for "egg nog" back-translates as "chicken milk". My quasi-bilingual sister thinks the idea of "chicken milk" is disgusting, and refuses to put the egg nog carton anywhere that she can see the French-language side.

Just as a point of information, if you put Kawartha Dairy egg nog in your coffee, it becomes dessert!
posted by Multicellular Exothermic at 6:28 AM on December 17, 2013 [1 favorite]


This is a great project! I only wish there was a picture of the nog itself in each of these. Preferably with a picture of it pouring, as well. Commercial nog can vary so widely, from just thicker than milk to just thinner than cheddar cheese, and the color can be nuclear yellow all the way to a gentle blonde. Totally smooth to heavy nutmeg speckle.

I don't take pictures of them but I have longstanding and widely inclusive egg nog acquisition and evaluation policy, which means that from Thanksgiving on I have at least a quart or two in the fridge. Some national brands are great, some are lousy, some obscure (or non) brands are great, some are lousy.

If you have a Target near you they likely stock the Horizon organic egg nog, which is not AT ALL my favorite, but at least has no HFCS. Alarmingly, Target also has a line of things, next to the egg nog, called "holiday milk". It looks like, uh, non egg nog flavored egg nog? Snickerdoodle nog? Mint nog? Vom nog.
posted by dirtdirt at 6:37 AM on December 17, 2013 [3 favorites]


justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow: "AskMefi: Are there nogs other than eggnog? Google is failing me. Even on the assumption that non-egg-nog would be a radically different drink, I'd certainly be interested in X-nog for some values of X."

I live in a household that is unfortunately dairy and egg-free. We have tried virtually every commercially produced "soy nog", "hemp nog", "almond nog", etc., and they are all horrific. No nog is better than any of the above.

I've gotten pretty good at making nut milks and fresh homemade soy milk is really quite tasty but I've just given up on nog. There's just no substitute for the eggs.
posted by Runes at 6:41 AM on December 17, 2013 [1 favorite]


Also, I mention it every year, but for me the definite nog cocktail is the Santa's Beard - basically a brandy alexander with nog instead of cream - even pours of brandy, creme de cacao and egg nog. Shake with ice, garnish with nutmeg, enjoy often.
posted by dirtdirt at 6:43 AM on December 17, 2013 [3 favorites]


It's a little unfair to criticize the outdated design, because some of these cartons are actually quite old, as you can tell from the expiration dates. This one and this one are from 2007. This one is from 2006. This one is from way back in 2003. (This one, disturbingly, appears to have no visible expiration date.)

And contra Runes, I quite enjoy the Silk soy nog. This is what the packaging looks like now.
posted by Faint of Butt at 6:49 AM on December 17, 2013 [1 favorite]


At this time of year, I think it's very important to know about the reality of pasteurized eggs. They are more expensive and in my experience look a little weird, but they work fine for things like eggnog or chocolate mousse, which as far as I'm concerned are two pretty defining things my family has always had around Christmastime. When making things for just me I still use regular eggs, but when making them for others, especially elderly relations, I use the pasteurized ones.

That said, I have never actually made eggnog myself, so I usually settle for the store-bought kind, and I did amuse myself trying to figure out which of the ones here I've actually had and what I could remember of them, which was not much besides the packaging except I've usually liked the organic kind much less.
posted by Sequence at 6:50 AM on December 17, 2013 [2 favorites]


The one time I made homemade eggnog it was for a party, and then everyone refused to drink it because of the raw eggs. This was very much their loss, as it was delicious.

The percentage of the eggnog that was raw eggs was negligible anyway based on the amount of bourbon you added.
posted by Mrs. Pterodactyl at 6:51 AM on December 17, 2013 [4 favorites]


At least we have now got visual proof that Santa IS a white guy.
posted by spitbull at 6:52 AM on December 17, 2013 [1 favorite]


Runes, have you tried the So Delicious coconut milk egg nog? I find that it's the only one that comes close to the really thick texture real nog has.
posted by specialagentwebb at 6:54 AM on December 17, 2013 [2 favorites]


Also, hemp nog?

Hmmmmm.
posted by spitbull at 6:54 AM on December 17, 2013


The one time I made homemade eggnog it was for a party, and then everyone refused to drink it because of the raw eggs. This was very much their loss, as it was delicious.

The next time someone refuses to have your homemade eggnog, you can pull up this previous post, which has all the science you will need to help them understand that it is safe.
posted by hippybear at 6:56 AM on December 17, 2013 [1 favorite]


I have actually never had egg nog. No one in my family serves it, and it doesn't seem to be included in any of the celebrations I go to on holidays. Is it less of a thing in Texas, maybe?
posted by emjaybee at 6:58 AM on December 17, 2013 [1 favorite]


Homemade eggnog has a very high "deliciousness to work" ratio.

I will definitely be using the "deliciousness/work" metric in the future.

Is it less of a thing in Texas, maybe?

I have a lot of family in Texas and they are all confirmed eggnog drinkers.
posted by TedW at 7:05 AM on December 17, 2013


The best eggnog is Alton Brown's eggnog. Whereas most eggnogs are thick and custardy, Brown's recipe has you fold in whipped egg whites for a light, almost fluffy texture. It makes it much easier to pretend that it isn't horrible for you. It's a raw egg recipe, but if you use pasteurized eggs than that shouldn't be a concern.

If you want to add alcohol and let the flavors meld for a while in the fridge, just make the recipe right up to the point where you add the egg whites. Whip and add the egg whites just before serving. NB: Once the egg whites are added you only have a few hours before it loses its fluffiness, so serve promptly.
posted by jedicus at 7:14 AM on December 17, 2013 [4 favorites]


Also, hemp nog?

Bong water and heavy cream?
posted by Thorzdad at 7:15 AM on December 17, 2013 [4 favorites]


Folks, hold on to your hats and behold EGGNOG FLORENTINES.

Oh, the cookies. I thought you meant florentine as in "a dish served or prepared on a bed of spinach", which....eugh.
posted by jedicus at 7:17 AM on December 17, 2013 [6 favorites]


I have actually never had egg nog.

Same, and the very thought of it confuses and vexes me. If there are gonna be eggs in my milk I better have a giant spoonful of pudding on its way to my face.
posted by elizardbits at 7:24 AM on December 17, 2013 [1 favorite]


Eggnog once led to a riot at West Point resulting in the court-martial of twenty cadets and one enlisted soldier.
posted by jedicus at 7:24 AM on December 17, 2013 [2 favorites]


These old designs remind me of the late lamented bag art for Merita's Sweet Sixteen Donuts from the Seventies that the company used until about ten years ago. Sadly I can't find any examples on google image search.
posted by infinitewindow at 7:31 AM on December 17, 2013


I like an almond milk eggnog whose name escapes me, So Almond or some such, but to be honest, I was never much of an eggnog fan pre-veganism. I mostly just use it to make super boozy cupcakes for clients.
posted by Kitteh at 7:34 AM on December 17, 2013


OOH I just saw a recipe the other day for cupcakes with eggnog frosting.

now i want cupcakes, look what you did
posted by elizardbits at 7:38 AM on December 17, 2013


now i want cupcakes, look what you did

Yeah, that's definitely because of oneswellfoop and not a default state of being.
posted by Mrs. Pterodactyl at 7:44 AM on December 17, 2013 [1 favorite]


No, I was blaming Kitteh as the primary cupcake enabler, pay attention!

kitteh did the thing
posted by elizardbits at 7:57 AM on December 17, 2013 [1 favorite]


I made egg nog 5 weeks ago and it is merrily aging in my fridge right now. I think its more booze than milk/eggs and needs to be cut for me to actually enjoy it. (But I'm a lightweight. )

The secret to tasty storebought nog: cut with milk and grate nutmeg on top.
posted by vespabelle at 8:10 AM on December 17, 2013 [1 favorite]


I warn people who order the eggnog cupcakes that they have a goodly amount of alcohol in them (both in the cake and the frosting) so keep 'em away from the young'uns. (I make gingerbread or choc-peppermint for the kids, especially in mini-form.)

But getting back to eggnog, I think someone upthread said that there are some truly disgusting varations on it in the supermarkets. I was at Shaw's in Vermont the other day and saw the following ones: pumpkin, mint, red velvet (!!!), caramel, sugar cookie, and cinnamon.

WTF EGGNOG MAKERS
posted by Kitteh at 8:23 AM on December 17, 2013


Polar Beverages has made egg nog flavored seltzer the past couple of holiday seasons but it doesn't look like they are doing so this year (though they do have butter rum seltzer).
posted by plastic_animals at 8:28 AM on December 17, 2013


"I made it myself"
posted by griphus at 8:31 AM on December 17, 2013


A Texas dairy called Promised Land produces egg nog (and bottled chocolate milk and other flavored milks!) without the use of HFCS.
posted by Night_owl at 8:32 AM on December 17, 2013 [1 favorite]


eggnog is my favourite thing, i drink b/w 45 and 60 liters a year. last year there was an intervention.
posted by PinkMoose at 8:54 AM on December 17, 2013 [1 favorite]


I don't understand pre-packaged egg nog. It's like...a pre-packaged milkshake, or something.

When I was a kid, my mom would often make (non-alcoholic) egg nog to go with my breakfast—egg, milk, sugar, vanilla, cinnamon, blender, done. (Oddly, it wasn't a seasonal thing in my household—just another beverage, if not a particularly healthy one.)

My point, though, is that homemade egg nog—even if you're not fussing a around with fancy ingredients—is both (a) really easy, and (b) way better than the stuff in the cartons. And yet everyone acts like it's the cartons or nothing. Does not compute.
posted by escape from the potato planet at 9:28 AM on December 17, 2013


I'm curious, EFTPP. How often do you make egg nog for yourself these days?
posted by benito.strauss at 9:34 AM on December 17, 2013


Never, because it's a heart attack in a mug, but I make way more involved dishes all the time.
posted by escape from the potato planet at 9:40 AM on December 17, 2013


Is it less of a thing in Texas, maybe?

I'm pretty sure Borden's egg nog is still pretty big there. Highly recommended.
posted by Atom Eyes at 9:52 AM on December 17, 2013


I love this time of year in no small part because Straus Family Creamery makes eggnog and I can buy it and take it home and put bourbon in it and try very hard to not drink the whole bottle the first day, because it is delicious. They put milk, cream, cane sugar, egg yolks, and nutmeg in it, and that's it.
posted by rtha at 9:54 AM on December 17, 2013


it's damned impossible to find any that isn't a carton full of HFCS goo.

I would only do it with local eggs.

Are there nogs other than eggnog?


Egg Nog should only be made with yolks from freshest eggs and scrapings from the finest noggins.
 
posted by Herodios at 11:26 AM on December 17, 2013


Jeffrey Morgenthaler's tequila-sherry egg nog. Amazing stuff.
posted by neroli at 11:27 AM on December 17, 2013 [1 favorite]


At this time of year, I think it's very important to know about the reality of pasteurized eggs.

They need to start vaccinating the hens, rather than insisting it's the responsibility of the public to treat eggs like bioweapons.
posted by sebastienbailard at 12:32 PM on December 17, 2013 [1 favorite]


Some of these cartons are actually quite old, as you can tell from the expiration dates.This one and this one are from 2007. This one is from 2006. This one is from way back in 2003. (This one, disturbingly, appears to have no visible expiration date.)

Sorry, I have to outright reject this reasoning as I cannot consider 2003 "actually quite old" in most terms, and certainly not product-design terms. Those are the new designs. I recognize a few of them as 80s/90s updates, and I can remember the 60s/70s designs we had as a kid. Egg nog has always been particularly visible in this way.

after many, many decades in and around the kitchen I personally know of no-one who has ever fallen ill licking the cookie dough off the mixer, or drinking raw egg nog.

I also used to take this blase approach because I survived many decades, too. But the eggs we are eating today, and what they've been through, are just not the same as the eggs of decades ago. Salmonella is on the increase. I don't think industrial eggs are safe any more, and even though I still eat batter sometimes, if I don't get sick it just means I'm not one of the affected people, not that eggs are safe. I'm a little more aware of all this because these days because a few people around me are immunocompromised, too. Not to be all Debbie Downer, but the past doesn't make good evidence for this point.

Though I am relieved I can just go nuts with the bourbon and consider it safe. Next batch, I'm making at home.
posted by Miko at 1:32 PM on December 17, 2013


I make my own homemade eggnog once a year - on Christmas Eve. It has turned much of my wife's family from non-nog drinkers to "Are you making that again this year? Good! We'll be over!"

As Escape from the Potato Planet says, it isn't particularly hard to do and its worth it for a once a year treat.

anyone interested may memail me for the recipe. I share it with you, kind Mefites, but with no one else ...cuz a guy has to have some secrets to make everyone think that their daughter/niece/cousin married a wonderful guy
posted by nubs at 4:40 PM on December 17, 2013 [2 favorites]


I make my own homemade eggnog once a year - on Christmas Eve.

Are you people insane? Did you not read that previous link I linked to earlier in this thread??? You make the eggnog in mid-November and let it sit full of sterilizing boozy goodness until Christmas!!! It's the sitting with the booze that kills the germs!
posted by hippybear at 5:45 PM on December 17, 2013


Broguiere's egg nog is the best, and also has the best packaging if I may say so. A lot has been said about it. By The Man, by lots of people, and in various articles. If you're in the SoCal area you can usually find some in your local grocery store, lest you have to make the trek to the family-run creamery in Montebello. I just polished off a bottle this past Sat/Sunday.

So good.
posted by crasiman at 7:31 PM on December 17, 2013


Are you people insane? Did you not read that previous link I linked to earlier in this thread??? You make the eggnog in mid-November and let it sit full of sterilizing boozy goodness until Christmas!!! It's the sitting with the booze that kills the germs!

Don't know how you make yours - but the milk and cream in mine would curdle by Christmas if I tried this. Sterilizing boozy goodness or no.
posted by nubs at 8:53 AM on December 18, 2013


the milk and cream in mine would curdle by Christmas if I tried this

Why do you think so? The point of the recipes is that you won't have that reaction.
posted by Miko at 10:22 AM on December 18, 2013


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