"Salt, salt, salt, salt, salt, salt"
January 10, 2015 11:59 AM Subscribe
Painful to watch. But hilarious :)
posted by edheil at 1:20 PM on January 10, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by edheil at 1:20 PM on January 10, 2015 [1 favorite]
That is not what I expected. And not what any church I ever went to would tolerate. But hilarious.
posted by emjaybee at 1:32 PM on January 10, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by emjaybee at 1:32 PM on January 10, 2015 [2 favorites]
I have to admit to giggling like an immature school kid over the Triumphal Entry....
Loved the Four Horsemen.
posted by taff at 2:05 PM on January 10, 2015
Loved the Four Horsemen.
posted by taff at 2:05 PM on January 10, 2015
The dancing skills seem about right for my experience of Christian media venues...
posted by sciatrix at 3:07 PM on January 10, 2015
posted by sciatrix at 3:07 PM on January 10, 2015
"Now for this next move, I want everyone to get really low- really work those quads and glutes, and...write in the dust, write in the dust, write in the dust...and up again! Get ready to throw those stones...whoops! Not so fast! Now everybody stretch way up, full extension, and...wave that palm frond! Wave that palm frond! Wave that palm frond! Give me three hosannas! Hosanna! Hosanna! Hosanna...aaand breathe. Now for this next one, you're going to need the exercise ball- everybody get down and put your center of gravity over the ball, and...push that stone away from the tomb! Push that stone away from the tomb! Push that stone away from the tomb! Who's in there? No-one! It's empty! OK, everybody: water break...ooops! It's wine!"
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 3:10 PM on January 10, 2015 [8 favorites]
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 3:10 PM on January 10, 2015 [8 favorites]
I gotta say, I like how this other video of theirs sort of implies that Jesus is gay married to the narrator guy. I mean, why else would Jesus be reading to their kid on the sofa in his bathrobe with coffee while the narrator in pajama pants berates him? THERE IS NO OTHER EXPLANATION.
posted by sciatrix at 3:13 PM on January 10, 2015
posted by sciatrix at 3:13 PM on January 10, 2015
That is not what I expected. And not what any church I ever went to would tolerate. But hilarious.--emjaybee
I think you would need to go to one of those newfangled contemporary churches.
posted by eye of newt at 3:13 PM on January 10, 2015
I think you would need to go to one of those newfangled contemporary churches.
posted by eye of newt at 3:13 PM on January 10, 2015
I found their Youtube channel. This one is pretty good. "You are a gnarly God..."
posted by emjaybee at 3:37 PM on January 10, 2015
posted by emjaybee at 3:37 PM on January 10, 2015
I kind of liked the "Crushing the Serpent's Head" move. Although that would have gotten me thrown out the church I was raised in.
posted by GenjiandProust at 3:41 PM on January 10, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by GenjiandProust at 3:41 PM on January 10, 2015 [1 favorite]
In the Pentecostal church I was raised in, one only moved to the music if the Holy Spirit actually appeared to hit one. How that was determined, I'll never know, as "It" never hit me in the 14 years I attended. Everyone looked like they were first hit with a seizure, then started dancing with some very specific moves where, somehow, neither shoulders, torso nor hips rotated. I always wondered how they were able to keep from dancing like in the club, because the beat was the same to me!
The music in this clip sounds too much like regular dance music to have passed muster in the old church, also. The little old ladies back then were livid, for example, that this song a) sounded too "worldly" and b) actually became a secular hit back in the 80s. Like they totally forgot that in their day, the stuff they liked was considered bluesy and worldly by their old folks.
I think these clips are funny, but I can just see the adults from the old church shaking their heads and murmuring something about how "this is not how you serve God". Jesus was serious business and they were completely humorless about it.
posted by droplet at 5:04 PM on January 10, 2015
The music in this clip sounds too much like regular dance music to have passed muster in the old church, also. The little old ladies back then were livid, for example, that this song a) sounded too "worldly" and b) actually became a secular hit back in the 80s. Like they totally forgot that in their day, the stuff they liked was considered bluesy and worldly by their old folks.
I think these clips are funny, but I can just see the adults from the old church shaking their heads and murmuring something about how "this is not how you serve God". Jesus was serious business and they were completely humorless about it.
posted by droplet at 5:04 PM on January 10, 2015
Heh, that was funny. I especially liked the Last Supper Dip.
I was raised Anglican, in a perfectly pleasant, middle of the road church full of traditionalists. The only bodily movement in our services involved sitting, standing, kneeling, and walking up to the altar to receive communion. That was it. Dancing was right out.
I stopped attending church regularly when I was a teenager, but I still went with my parents on the big holidays. One year when I came back from university for the Christmas holidays, my parents told me our old priest had retired and been replaced by a new priest. Apparently the new priest was kind of controversial because he had brought some newfangled ideas to our very staid church. I had no idea what that meant, but it quickly became evident when in the middle of Christmas Eve service, the priest's wife suddenly got up and performed a liturgical dance kind of like this one, except the woman in the video can actually dance and has a full orchestra backing her up. Our priest's wife was more earnest than talented and had only the priest playing his guitar for accompaniment.
This had to be 20 years ago, but I remember it like it was yesterday. You haven't fully experienced secondhand cringe until you've witnessed a liturgical dance earnestly performed in front of a congregation full of shocked, disapproving old-school Anglicans. I felt kind of bad for her (and the priest), but in my experience, old-school Anglicans just don't like liturgical dance. They also do not like guitar-playing hippie priests. According to my parents there were no more liturgical dances, and the poor guy ended up having to move to another parish.
Bonus: here is Stephen Colbert performing a liturgical dance.
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 7:17 PM on January 10, 2015 [6 favorites]
I was raised Anglican, in a perfectly pleasant, middle of the road church full of traditionalists. The only bodily movement in our services involved sitting, standing, kneeling, and walking up to the altar to receive communion. That was it. Dancing was right out.
I stopped attending church regularly when I was a teenager, but I still went with my parents on the big holidays. One year when I came back from university for the Christmas holidays, my parents told me our old priest had retired and been replaced by a new priest. Apparently the new priest was kind of controversial because he had brought some newfangled ideas to our very staid church. I had no idea what that meant, but it quickly became evident when in the middle of Christmas Eve service, the priest's wife suddenly got up and performed a liturgical dance kind of like this one, except the woman in the video can actually dance and has a full orchestra backing her up. Our priest's wife was more earnest than talented and had only the priest playing his guitar for accompaniment.
This had to be 20 years ago, but I remember it like it was yesterday. You haven't fully experienced secondhand cringe until you've witnessed a liturgical dance earnestly performed in front of a congregation full of shocked, disapproving old-school Anglicans. I felt kind of bad for her (and the priest), but in my experience, old-school Anglicans just don't like liturgical dance. They also do not like guitar-playing hippie priests. According to my parents there were no more liturgical dances, and the poor guy ended up having to move to another parish.
Bonus: here is Stephen Colbert performing a liturgical dance.
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 7:17 PM on January 10, 2015 [6 favorites]
ok, i know its purpose, and i follow the flight closely because i am interested in liturgical problems, but earnest, 70s style praise dance is the funniest fucking thing on earth
posted by PinkMoose at 9:32 PM on January 10, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by PinkMoose at 9:32 PM on January 10, 2015 [2 favorites]
But can you church dance to Minor Threat? (Note: a friend of mine, reklus, put this together.)
posted by The Great Big Mulp at 11:27 PM on January 10, 2015 [6 favorites]
posted by The Great Big Mulp at 11:27 PM on January 10, 2015 [6 favorites]
Bonus: here is Stephen Colbert performing a liturgical dance.
Goofy yes but he was on balance and his turns were centered and stable. Definitely has had ballet training.
posted by sammyo at 6:35 PM on January 11, 2015 [1 favorite]
Goofy yes but he was on balance and his turns were centered and stable. Definitely has had ballet training.
posted by sammyo at 6:35 PM on January 11, 2015 [1 favorite]
High-school me despises 35-year-old me for enjoying this.
posted by koeselitz at 12:34 AM on January 12, 2015
posted by koeselitz at 12:34 AM on January 12, 2015
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posted by PinkMoose at 1:10 PM on January 10, 2015