Over or under?
March 17, 2015 3:50 PM Subscribe
It's a pretty simple equation in my place. The cats want it over and therefore, it must be under.
posted by ursus_comiter at 3:53 PM on March 17, 2015 [13 favorites]
posted by ursus_comiter at 3:53 PM on March 17, 2015 [13 favorites]
This will be like convincing the intelligent design people on new evidence against their beliefs. "God put that patent there just to confuse us!"
posted by Mei's lost sandal at 3:55 PM on March 17, 2015 [11 favorites]
posted by Mei's lost sandal at 3:55 PM on March 17, 2015 [11 favorites]
What is this over/under nonsense? A roll of toilet paper goes on the floor. Right below the strange wall fixture with a small cardboard tube on a dowel that you find in all bathrooms.
posted by jammy at 3:55 PM on March 17, 2015 [28 favorites]
posted by jammy at 3:55 PM on March 17, 2015 [28 favorites]
How was this ever a debate.
posted by (Arsenio) Hall and (Warren) Oates at 3:56 PM on March 17, 2015
posted by (Arsenio) Hall and (Warren) Oates at 3:56 PM on March 17, 2015
The cats want it over and therefore, it must be under.
The logic seems sound, but after some experimentation I discovered that if I did over then the cats would unroll the toilet paper onto the floor and if I did under the cats would shred the toilet roll and I'd end up with toilet paper confetti everywhere.
So I put it over and closed the bathroom door.
posted by It's Never Lurgi at 3:58 PM on March 17, 2015 [4 favorites]
The logic seems sound, but after some experimentation I discovered that if I did over then the cats would unroll the toilet paper onto the floor and if I did under the cats would shred the toilet roll and I'd end up with toilet paper confetti everywhere.
So I put it over and closed the bathroom door.
posted by It's Never Lurgi at 3:58 PM on March 17, 2015 [4 favorites]
How was this ever a debate.
I know, right? Those Over people are insane.
posted by the uncomplicated soups of my childhood at 4:00 PM on March 17, 2015 [4 favorites]
I know, right? Those Over people are insane.
posted by the uncomplicated soups of my childhood at 4:00 PM on March 17, 2015 [4 favorites]
Clearly the only true way to settle this is a shit off.
posted by cashman at 4:01 PM on March 17, 2015 [18 favorites]
posted by cashman at 4:01 PM on March 17, 2015 [18 favorites]
Over may look pretty, but Under is easier to tear off.
Also: sit to wipe, the dress is blue and black, emacs > vi, the glass is half full, and team Jacob
posted by leotrotsky at 4:04 PM on March 17, 2015 [8 favorites]
Also: sit to wipe, the dress is blue and black, emacs > vi, the glass is half full, and team Jacob
posted by leotrotsky at 4:04 PM on March 17, 2015 [8 favorites]
Wasn't this settled weeks ago? The dress is WHITE and GOLD! End of discussion.
posted by Ratio at 4:04 PM on March 17, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by Ratio at 4:04 PM on March 17, 2015 [3 favorites]
Seashell.
posted by Doleful Creature at 4:07 PM on March 17, 2015 [4 favorites]
posted by Doleful Creature at 4:07 PM on March 17, 2015 [4 favorites]
Finally. Now can we get with the times and discuss how one places the three seashells - stacked on top of each other, or placed in a row?
posted by chambers at 4:07 PM on March 17, 2015
posted by chambers at 4:07 PM on March 17, 2015
Clearly the only true way to settle this is a shit off.
There's a meetup coming up!
posted by leotrotsky at 4:08 PM on March 17, 2015
There's a meetup coming up!
posted by leotrotsky at 4:08 PM on March 17, 2015
Finally. Now can we get with the times and discuss how one places the three seashells - stacked on top of each other, or placed vertically in a row?
Two to prop, one to scoop.
posted by leotrotsky at 4:10 PM on March 17, 2015
Two to prop, one to scoop.
posted by leotrotsky at 4:10 PM on March 17, 2015
Although I'm an over person (since I'm not crazy), to be fair, an argument from origin is not really a rigorous proof of anything. The first mouse was designed to have its cable sticking out towards the user.
posted by procrastinator at 4:12 PM on March 17, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by procrastinator at 4:12 PM on March 17, 2015 [1 favorite]
Over may look pretty, but Under is easier to tear off.
No it isn't.
posted by shmegegge at 4:15 PM on March 17, 2015 [2 favorites]
No it isn't.
posted by shmegegge at 4:15 PM on March 17, 2015 [2 favorites]
OK, now that that's solved we just need to sort out which end of the soft boiled egg to start at.
posted by ckape at 4:16 PM on March 17, 2015
posted by ckape at 4:16 PM on March 17, 2015
If creator's intent didn't end the gif debate, it's not going to end this one either.
#teamjiff4life
posted by dephlogisticated at 4:18 PM on March 17, 2015 [2 favorites]
#teamjiff4life
posted by dephlogisticated at 4:18 PM on March 17, 2015 [2 favorites]
The orientation shown on the patent drawing is only for clarity of explanation of the operation process, not an as-installed representation of intended operating state.
posted by PixelPiper at 4:23 PM on March 17, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by PixelPiper at 4:23 PM on March 17, 2015 [2 favorites]
Always under until my wife said over, and that was that.
posted by repoman at 4:24 PM on March 17, 2015
posted by repoman at 4:24 PM on March 17, 2015
The correct answer is "out of the anthopomorphic pea's mouth".
posted by pipeski at 4:24 PM on March 17, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by pipeski at 4:24 PM on March 17, 2015 [2 favorites]
It goes on the back of the toilet. Anyway, if you close the bathroom door, how will your cats get a drink?
posted by mule98J at 4:28 PM on March 17, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by mule98J at 4:28 PM on March 17, 2015 [2 favorites]
I set my toilet paper vertically (the cardboard tube is perpendicular to the floor) on the conveniently provided "holder" which I use like a shelf. It does not fall off like this and it's not any fun for my cats to play with, so they leave it alone. When I want to use the toilet paper, I pick it up, remove a suitable amount, and put it back on the shelf-holder thing. Civilization has not yet collapsed.
If I put the toilet paper on the roll holder like a normal person, the cats shred it. I have asshole cats and I am not willing to get rid of them, so...
posted by which_chick at 4:31 PM on March 17, 2015 [3 favorites]
If I put the toilet paper on the roll holder like a normal person, the cats shred it. I have asshole cats and I am not willing to get rid of them, so...
posted by which_chick at 4:31 PM on March 17, 2015 [3 favorites]
The roll-holder with the little hands is just too cute.
posted by wallabear at 4:40 PM on March 17, 2015 [4 favorites]
posted by wallabear at 4:40 PM on March 17, 2015 [4 favorites]
]It's a pretty simple equation in my place. The cats want it over and therefore, it must be under.
Our cats' solution was to stop unrolling the paper and to, instead, take large bites out of the roll through multiple layers and then shred those chunks on the floor. Thus, we have settled on over - specificly, storing the toilet paper in a closed cabinet over the toilet.
posted by Joey Michaels at 4:50 PM on March 17, 2015 [1 favorite]
Our cats' solution was to stop unrolling the paper and to, instead, take large bites out of the roll through multiple layers and then shred those chunks on the floor. Thus, we have settled on over - specificly, storing the toilet paper in a closed cabinet over the toilet.
posted by Joey Michaels at 4:50 PM on March 17, 2015 [1 favorite]
I was in a long-term battle with one of our cleaners at work. In the morning the toilet paper was under and I would patiently undo it and turn it over. The next morning it was back under again, even if the toilet roll hadn't been changed (ie it was still partially used, not a fresh roll). I would patiently switch it back over again. I figured someday common sense would win, since there are no toddlers or destructive cats at work to provide arguments in favour of under. When I got back from leave I discovered we had a new cleaning firm. Now it's over all the time, the way it should be.
posted by Athanassiel at 4:50 PM on March 17, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by Athanassiel at 4:50 PM on March 17, 2015 [2 favorites]
Because it has to be mentioned every time this comes up: Wikipedia's toilet paper orientation article has 130 citations and is over 20 pages long if printed.
(More if printed on toilet paper)
posted by dirigibleman at 4:58 PM on March 17, 2015 [8 favorites]
(More if printed on toilet paper)
posted by dirigibleman at 4:58 PM on March 17, 2015 [8 favorites]
I own a cat. The toilet paper is over, always. In fact, when I visit my friends' places, I make a point of flipping the toilet roll if it is positioned under.
About the dress: I am a vision scientist, and in fact, my research area is colour and material perception. The vision science community has been going NUTS with the stupid dress. On the vision science mailing list, there has been over 200 e-mails with people discussing just what is going on with the dress. Someone even bought a copy of the dress so she could run experiments herself. The Journal of Vision, which is a top journal in my area, has announced that they will dedicate a special issue to the colour-switching dress. Everyone agrees on the general principle behind the dress "illusion," i.e., that observers are assuming different illuminants, but nobody knows why there are such huge individual differences.
Team white and gold!
posted by tickingclock at 5:00 PM on March 17, 2015 [3 favorites]
About the dress: I am a vision scientist, and in fact, my research area is colour and material perception. The vision science community has been going NUTS with the stupid dress. On the vision science mailing list, there has been over 200 e-mails with people discussing just what is going on with the dress. Someone even bought a copy of the dress so she could run experiments herself. The Journal of Vision, which is a top journal in my area, has announced that they will dedicate a special issue to the colour-switching dress. Everyone agrees on the general principle behind the dress "illusion," i.e., that observers are assuming different illuminants, but nobody knows why there are such huge individual differences.
Team white and gold!
posted by tickingclock at 5:00 PM on March 17, 2015 [3 favorites]
It's like I always say on this subject. There are two kinds of people in this world: those who think that the toilet paper should be placed so it rolls over, and those who are wrong.
posted by Hamusutaa at 5:05 PM on March 17, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by Hamusutaa at 5:05 PM on March 17, 2015 [1 favorite]
A carefully calibrated jet of warm, not hot water should remove all clinging fecal matter from the anus. A dryer then uses a gentle breeze until dampness is removed. A lidar device will then scan the sphynchter. If necessary a specialized device will apply a witch hazel compound to any detected swollen tissue.
posted by humanfont at 5:08 PM on March 17, 2015 [6 favorites]
posted by humanfont at 5:08 PM on March 17, 2015 [6 favorites]
I have asshole cats
I... I think you may need something other than toilet paper.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 5:17 PM on March 17, 2015 [16 favorites]
I... I think you may need something other than toilet paper.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 5:17 PM on March 17, 2015 [16 favorites]
I'm curious if the diagonal perforations shown in fig. 6 would have any appreciable effect on the TP experience. Would it make tearing easier or harder?
posted by wemayfreeze at 5:20 PM on March 17, 2015
posted by wemayfreeze at 5:20 PM on March 17, 2015
I thought we already figured this out, it all depends on whether you sit or stand:
Sitters prefer over-the-top, while standers prefer under the bottom.posted by zinon at 5:31 PM on March 17, 2015
The toilet paper is over, always. In fact, when I visit my friends' places, I make a point of flipping the toilet roll if it is positioned under.
I agree it should be over, but flipping someone else's tp around seems passive-aggressive. I think the right thing to do in those circumstances is shoot the friend in the face and hope one has a reasonable jury.
posted by BrotherCaine at 5:39 PM on March 17, 2015 [7 favorites]
I agree it should be over, but flipping someone else's tp around seems passive-aggressive. I think the right thing to do in those circumstances is shoot the friend in the face and hope one has a reasonable jury.
posted by BrotherCaine at 5:39 PM on March 17, 2015 [7 favorites]
This is going to cause more shit than the inventor of GIFs declaring it "jiff".
I can already see the "He's wrong in the way that George Lucas is wrong" comments from here.
posted by emptythought at 5:43 PM on March 17, 2015 [2 favorites]
I can already see the "He's wrong in the way that George Lucas is wrong" comments from here.
posted by emptythought at 5:43 PM on March 17, 2015 [2 favorites]
I thought we already figured this out, it all depends on whether you sit or stand: Sitters prefer over-the-top, while standers prefer under the bottom.
I thought TP always went under your bottom?
Also: over, because it's easier to find the start of the paper. The dress image is light blue-grey and dark orange-grey and the question forces you to call one of them "black" or "white", thus shifting your psychological color balance. Lean against a tree to wipe, because the scenery is better when you do your business hiking. Emacs M-x greater-than-sign vi. He wasn't dreaming at the end of the movie, we were just meant to see he didn't care. 0.999999…=1.
posted by traveler_ at 6:13 PM on March 17, 2015 [1 favorite]
I thought TP always went under your bottom?
Also: over, because it's easier to find the start of the paper. The dress image is light blue-grey and dark orange-grey and the question forces you to call one of them "black" or "white", thus shifting your psychological color balance. Lean against a tree to wipe, because the scenery is better when you do your business hiking. Emacs M-x greater-than-sign vi. He wasn't dreaming at the end of the movie, we were just meant to see he didn't care. 0.999999…=1.
posted by traveler_ at 6:13 PM on March 17, 2015 [1 favorite]
Over! Holy hell, it goes over. We do toilet paper wars in my house, my husband does under. I will win.
(Squeeze to crimp the toilet paper roll when you put it on the holder. This prevents children and naughty pets from dispensing 10 feet of TP in one swipe.)
posted by Grlnxtdr at 6:21 PM on March 17, 2015 [1 favorite]
(Squeeze to crimp the toilet paper roll when you put it on the holder. This prevents children and naughty pets from dispensing 10 feet of TP in one swipe.)
posted by Grlnxtdr at 6:21 PM on March 17, 2015 [1 favorite]
procrastinator: "an argument from origin is not really a rigorous proof of anything."
There should be a formal term for this. Inventors so often get the actual use of their devices so wrong.
posted by Mitheral at 6:53 PM on March 17, 2015
There should be a formal term for this. Inventors so often get the actual use of their devices so wrong.
posted by Mitheral at 6:53 PM on March 17, 2015
I used to enjoy finding a free wheeling roll of TP in public toilets. Then, it occurred to me, as I was using my fingers as a spindle, what other fingers have been inside this roll? Where have those other fingers been? Still certain that cooties are not transmitted on toilet seats, but one cannot be too careful when taking a dump.
posted by breadbox at 6:56 PM on March 17, 2015
posted by breadbox at 6:56 PM on March 17, 2015
Um 0.99999....=1. This can be mathematically proven. There is no debate.
And the toilet paper stands up on the counter next to the toilet because no one in the house puts it back on the holder.
posted by LizBoBiz at 7:03 PM on March 17, 2015
And the toilet paper stands up on the counter next to the toilet because no one in the house puts it back on the holder.
posted by LizBoBiz at 7:03 PM on March 17, 2015
which_chick: " I have asshole cats and I am not willing to get rid of them"
Ok, I will agree that I have a juvenile sense of humor ... but in a discussion about toilet paper, a term like "asshole cats" makes me snigger a lot. :) I guess you need very sturdy toilet paper.
posted by TheLittlePrince at 7:38 PM on March 17, 2015 [2 favorites]
Ok, I will agree that I have a juvenile sense of humor ... but in a discussion about toilet paper, a term like "asshole cats" makes me snigger a lot. :) I guess you need very sturdy toilet paper.
posted by TheLittlePrince at 7:38 PM on March 17, 2015 [2 favorites]
I wiped my bum, said Gargantua, with a kerchief, with a pillow, with a pantoufle, with a pouch, with a pannier, but that was a wicked and unpleasant torchecul; then with a hat. Of hats, note that some are shorn, and others shaggy, some velveted, others covered with taffeties, and others with satin. The best of all these is the shaggy hat, for it makes a very neat abstersion of the fecal matter.
Afterwards I wiped my tail with a hen, with a cock, with a pullet, with a calf’s skin, with a hare, with a pigeon, with a cormorant, with an attorney’s bag, with a montero, with a coif, with a falconer’s lure. But, to conclude, I say and maintain, that of all torcheculs, arsewisps, bumfodders, tail-napkins, bunghole cleansers, and wipe-breeches, there is none in the world comparable to the neck of a goose, that is well downed, if you hold her head betwixt your legs. And believe me therein upon mine honour, for you will thereby feel in your nockhole a most wonderful pleasure, both in regard of the softness of the said down and of the temporate heat of the goose, which is easily communicated to the bum-gut and the rest the inwards, in so far as to come even to the regions of the heart and brains.
posted by neroli at 7:50 PM on March 17, 2015 [3 favorites]
Afterwards I wiped my tail with a hen, with a cock, with a pullet, with a calf’s skin, with a hare, with a pigeon, with a cormorant, with an attorney’s bag, with a montero, with a coif, with a falconer’s lure. But, to conclude, I say and maintain, that of all torcheculs, arsewisps, bumfodders, tail-napkins, bunghole cleansers, and wipe-breeches, there is none in the world comparable to the neck of a goose, that is well downed, if you hold her head betwixt your legs. And believe me therein upon mine honour, for you will thereby feel in your nockhole a most wonderful pleasure, both in regard of the softness of the said down and of the temporate heat of the goose, which is easily communicated to the bum-gut and the rest the inwards, in so far as to come even to the regions of the heart and brains.
posted by neroli at 7:50 PM on March 17, 2015 [3 favorites]
Now I know what text I'm ordering on that needlepoint piece. Thanks neroli!
posted by yesster at 7:57 PM on March 17, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by yesster at 7:57 PM on March 17, 2015 [2 favorites]
If you put the roll on the back of the toilet it will inevitably fall into the bowl at some point thus wasting the roll. I have definitively concluded that the toilet paper will not buy itself, therefore it stays on the holder even if it's just propped up on the empty tube.
Also, over. No cats, no toddlers, no roommates.
posted by bendy at 8:03 PM on March 17, 2015
Also, over. No cats, no toddlers, no roommates.
posted by bendy at 8:03 PM on March 17, 2015
Those who cannot close the lid are not welcome in this discussion or any other discussion.
posted by WCWedin at 8:27 PM on March 17, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by WCWedin at 8:27 PM on March 17, 2015 [1 favorite]
So does the goose go under or over?
posted by Mei's lost sandal at 8:45 PM on March 17, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by Mei's lost sandal at 8:45 PM on March 17, 2015 [2 favorites]
Clearly we need a holder that pivots to the orientation preferred by the current user. Maybe using facial recognition. Or something.
posted by under_petticoat_rule at 9:43 PM on March 17, 2015
posted by under_petticoat_rule at 9:43 PM on March 17, 2015
I used to enjoy finding a free wheeling roll of TP in public toilets. Then, it occurred to me, as I was using my fingers as a spindle, what other fingers have been inside this roll? Where have those other fingers been? Still certain that cooties are not transmitted on toilet seats, but one cannot be too careful when taking a dump.
My biggest bathroom annoyance is when the paper towel dispenser is fuxx0red, and you have to pick up the roll(or worse, one of those mega rolls!) with your fingers inside the tube so you don't soak all the paper.
...and the inside of the tube is wet, from other people washing their hands. And the cardboard gets kinda slimy because that's what cardboard does. and i start thinking about like, algae and shit.
you know how some people like instantly want to vomit when they feel sandpaper or something? i kinda get that running my fingernails over cardboard. but the slimy cardboard when i just washed my hands is something they'd force me to do at gitmo while terrible nu-metal played.
posted by emptythought at 10:15 PM on March 17, 2015 [2 favorites]
My biggest bathroom annoyance is when the paper towel dispenser is fuxx0red, and you have to pick up the roll(or worse, one of those mega rolls!) with your fingers inside the tube so you don't soak all the paper.
...and the inside of the tube is wet, from other people washing their hands. And the cardboard gets kinda slimy because that's what cardboard does. and i start thinking about like, algae and shit.
you know how some people like instantly want to vomit when they feel sandpaper or something? i kinda get that running my fingernails over cardboard. but the slimy cardboard when i just washed my hands is something they'd force me to do at gitmo while terrible nu-metal played.
posted by emptythought at 10:15 PM on March 17, 2015 [2 favorites]
Surely I cannot be the only human being who seriously does not care. Either way, as long as it's on the spindle, not wet and has a free end. I'm not sure I've ever even noticed which way a roll of toilet paper was hanging.
posted by crush-onastick at 10:04 AM on March 18, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by crush-onastick at 10:04 AM on March 18, 2015 [1 favorite]
Probably not, but it is some thing many people have pretty strong feelings about.
posted by Mitheral at 10:19 AM on March 18, 2015
posted by Mitheral at 10:19 AM on March 18, 2015
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posted by the uncomplicated soups of my childhood at 3:51 PM on March 17, 2015