Hey hey hey I'm a cat hey hey hey hey hi hello hey I'm a cat pet me hey.
March 31, 2015 7:56 AM   Subscribe

 
My cat has given up on me for the moment. However my trainimg paid off in a piece of chicken on the kitchem floor, a half hour ago.
posted by Oyéah at 8:02 AM on March 31, 2015


Is that all these cats have taught their humans? Mine also taught me how to catch and eat flies.
posted by orme at 8:03 AM on March 31, 2015


My first cat did this.. i'm kind of sad my other cats don't. Instead they meow at me. Or jump on me. Or obsessively lick plastic and plastic-like things (shower curtains, magazine covers, etc)

My youngest furball never use to lick things.. but her sister must have taught her because now they both lick all the things and it drives me CRAZY. (Which they know, which is why they lick all the things.. I try very hard not to react to it but it's not easy..)
posted by royalsong at 8:04 AM on March 31, 2015


Also I feel bad for the first black and white cat (about 30 seconds in).. he wants so bad to be pet and the human barely even touches his head.
posted by royalsong at 8:08 AM on March 31, 2015 [4 favorites]


Sadie and Triceratops do this to me all the time. It backfires on them, though, because I often realize that I need to clip their claws after they scratch my face in the middle of the night to complain that nobody is petting them.
posted by ChuraChura at 8:14 AM on March 31, 2015 [4 favorites]


Scottish Folds are very appealing, it's like having a comedian cat or something.
posted by joseph conrad is fully awesome at 8:20 AM on March 31, 2015 [3 favorites]


Spherical cat, my ex-feral obese tailless cat, does not trust me enough to train me, but she has taught Lord Conrad Blackcat how she expects him to groom her, it's really charming to see.
posted by jeather at 8:22 AM on March 31, 2015




Our big fat orange cat will display his belly as if he wants it rubbed. He will submit to this for a few seconds, but he doesn't really want his belly rubbed. He will take your hand with all four feet and move it up to pet his head, which is what he really wanted all along.

royalsong, we had a cat which used to eat plastic bags -- a dangerous habit. In the process, we learned that plastic is often treated with pork by-products to make it supple. Worth nipping in the bud, that habit...
posted by gusandrews at 8:35 AM on March 31, 2015 [4 favorites]


I have had not one but two dogs who also did this. They are both also very skilled at petting themselves on dangling hands by nudging your hand upwards with their noses so that gravity does all the petting work.
posted by sciatrix at 8:36 AM on March 31, 2015 [2 favorites]


Those are some very well-trained humans.
posted by kinnakeet at 8:40 AM on March 31, 2015


I have had not one but two dogs who also did this. They are both also very skilled at petting themselves on dangling hands by nudging your hand upwards with their noses so that gravity does all the petting work.

Yes! Dogs also compound it by putting the coldest, wettest part of their nose RIGHT in the middle of your palm, so you instinctively look for something dry and fluffy to wipe it on. Oh hey, there's a convenient dog head right there...
posted by specialagentwebb at 8:41 AM on March 31, 2015 [16 favorites]


Chester Copperpot positions himself on his back between the keyboard and the monitor and rolls around on the function keys until I provide the requisite amount of affection.

I have an ex-girlfriend who did something similar.
posted by echocollate at 8:42 AM on March 31, 2015 [1 favorite]


In the process, we learned that plastic is often treated with pork by-products to make it supple.

Whoa! Do you have a link or something (my google-fu is failing me) on that? One of our cats licks plastic bags like crazy. I wonder if this is why.
posted by Naberius at 8:46 AM on March 31, 2015 [4 favorites]


My Wiggs is pretty insistent and not at all subtle, but she does also definitely do the "I'm holding onto your hand and rubbing my head on it" thing as part of her schtick. Mostly, she just needs to be Near me.

The other cat cares mostly about my wife, and really only ventures into my office late in the day to inform me that, in her view, it is time for Erin to come home. This is typically a very yelly conversation.
posted by uberchet at 9:59 AM on March 31, 2015 [6 favorites]


Suggested to me: Dogs Breaking Up Cat Fights

(The suggested video was indeed relevant to my interests. Thanks, Google!)
posted by longdaysjourney at 10:05 AM on March 31, 2015 [10 favorites]


All of my cats do this, all of them.

My little holstein cat grabs my beard when he wants the sink turned on.
posted by The Power Nap at 10:37 AM on March 31, 2015


My cat does this too, and I knowingly and completely encourage it because would you look at that face.

He also gets up on the tub next to the sink and stands up on two feet while I'm brushing my teeth in the morning trying to get attention. When I'm sitting on the couch, he just hops on my lap and gets face to face with me and purrs. It's so adorable I rarely get annoyed and want him to stop.
posted by misskaz at 10:52 AM on March 31, 2015 [2 favorites]


Ah yes, the classic cat fast asleep next to the laptop who suddenly darts awake to paw your hand, eyes ablaze with the need-demand "STROKE ME NOW" written all over them.

My little black cat waits until I'm half asleep to jump up on my pillow and gently pat my nose, cheeks, and forehead. I used to try to pet her in return, but she soon taught me that NO, human sleepy-time is when human gets petted. I am to let her stroke me to her heart's content. And she does.
posted by fraula at 11:58 AM on March 31, 2015 [15 favorites]


I liked most of these cats, but some of them are those Floofy smushed-in-face cats that just annoy me.

Was that e-harmony video for real?
posted by potsmokinghippieoverlord at 12:01 PM on March 31, 2015 [1 favorite]


This is so so familiar to me. Not just the little paw tap and head tilt, but the way the human responds with a smile and pat rather than telling the annoying little fucker to piss off. I'm going to go pat my little buggers right now even though it will just wake them up and make them want to play.
posted by shelleycat at 12:16 PM on March 31, 2015 [1 favorite]


Was that e-harmony video for real?

Thank god, no.
posted by Naberius at 12:16 PM on March 31, 2015 [3 favorites]


"...I try very hard not to react to it but it's not easy..."

Cats are very sensitive to positive reinforcement regarding things they want; it's amazing how quickly a cat can pick up extremely annoying habits used to compel you to do their bidding. I work hard at resisting this.

But I got snared recently by the Head Tilt. This is a new behavior in my (soon-to-be) ten-year old cat; she had never before unleashed the terrifying power of the Head Tilt before last year. She'd sit on the bookshelf-thing next to my desk and stare at me when she wanted to lounge in my lap. That's a little unnerving, even sometimes annoying, but I am usually able to resist.

Then, one day, came a tiny head tilt. Not a full-blown Head Tilt, just a tentative one. But it was so cute! I couldn't not look. And I thought, well, okay, you can sit in my lap, I don't need to type, anyway.

I'd made a huge mistake.

For months now I've been desperately fighting against the mind-control rays beamed at me by that twenty-degree tilt. But she'll just escalate to the full thirty-five degrees, slowly, and my head and eyes will swivel in her direction like I've become her puppet. And a voice will whisper in my head, "Oh, so cute! Kitty deserves to be rewarded by a snuggle!" and then I awake as if from a trance to find a contented cat across my thighs.
posted by Ivan Fyodorovich at 3:56 PM on March 31, 2015 [8 favorites]


I have an ex-girlfriend who did something similar.

....Karl, is that you?
posted by ezust at 5:25 PM on March 31, 2015 [1 favorite]


My cats taught me to go "rooooooooooooooorrrr" very loudly before throwing up directly and voluminously onto the rug and then immediately demanding more food to eat.
posted by turbid dahlia at 8:34 PM on March 31, 2015


My cat starts out with a soft paw request and then very gradually increases the amount of claw until proper levels of attention have been granted. She is polite but very insistent that she gets what she feels she deserves for the hard work of decorating our apartment and clothing with her hair.
posted by srboisvert at 9:22 AM on April 1, 2015


My cats taught me to go "rooooooooooooooorrrr" very loudly before throwing up directly and voluminously onto the rug and then immediately demanding more food to eat.

That's not vomit that is regurge. It never made it to their stomach. If you give them a minute they will re-eat it and there will be less for you to clean up and you don't need to feed them again. It is pretty common for cats and not very serious. Vomiting is potentially much more serious.
posted by srboisvert at 9:25 AM on April 1, 2015


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