For some reason he didn't use AskMe.
August 18, 2015 12:41 PM   Subscribe

 
homestuck is so weird
posted by griphus at 12:45 PM on August 18, 2015 [36 favorites]


That was enjoyable.
posted by (Arsenio) Hall and (Warren) Oates at 12:46 PM on August 18, 2015 [1 favorite]


I love that a linguist has a dog named Chompsky.
posted by miyabo at 12:46 PM on August 18, 2015 [27 favorites]


What, Twitter? Ryan fell in a well?
posted by octobersurprise at 12:48 PM on August 18, 2015 [85 favorites]


i laughed i cried
posted by poffin boffin at 12:48 PM on August 18, 2015 [3 favorites]


My desperate 10+ year old crush continues.
posted by bleep at 12:48 PM on August 18, 2015 [4 favorites]


He should have asked us.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 12:49 PM on August 18, 2015 [6 favorites]


Can't do photos in AskMe.
posted by sammyo at 12:49 PM on August 18, 2015 [3 favorites]


Adventure Time!
posted by Artw at 12:50 PM on August 18, 2015 [4 favorites]


Nobody?

I have no idea how this man got himself and his dog stuck in this hole, or why.
posted by agentofselection at 12:53 PM on August 18, 2015 [43 favorites]


Can't do photos in AskMe.


Mefites doomed to hole death.
posted by Artw at 12:53 PM on August 18, 2015 [16 favorites]


He should have consulted the Guide:

What to do if you find yourself stuck in a crack in the ground underneath a giant boulder you can’t move a hole with wet slick concrete sides, with no hope of rescue:
Consider how lucky you are that life has been good to you so far. Alternatively, if life hasn’t been good to you so far, which, given your current circumstances seems more likely, consider how lucky you are that it won’t be troubling you much longer.

posted by Greg_Ace at 12:55 PM on August 18, 2015 [27 favorites]


MeFi will only help get you out of elevators. (in-joke)
posted by dances_with_sneetches at 1:01 PM on August 18, 2015 [6 favorites]


every now and then twitter justifies its existence
posted by prize bull octorok at 1:01 PM on August 18, 2015 [7 favorites]


I'm getting flashbacks to E.T. for the Atari...
posted by Faint of Butt at 1:02 PM on August 18, 2015 [24 favorites]


He didn't ask Squirrel Girl for help?
posted by Halloween Jack at 1:06 PM on August 18, 2015 [2 favorites]


Get self out of hole, leave dog in hole.
Find something to stand on, throw it in hole.
Go back and get dog.
posted by T.D. Strange at 1:08 PM on August 18, 2015 [10 favorites]


Excellent fodder for his next choose your own adventure novel.
posted by Solon and Thanks at 1:09 PM on August 18, 2015 [1 favorite]


Get self out of hole, leave dog in hole.
Find something to stand on, throw it in hole.
Go back and get dog.


That was more or less addressed in a tweet left out of the Storify:

Yeah I don't want to leave Chompsky alone! Also I don't own a ladder
posted by Shmuel510 at 1:10 PM on August 18, 2015 [5 favorites]


It IS a very good hole.
posted by Artw at 1:14 PM on August 18, 2015 [1 favorite]


Oh, this is easy. First you take the chicken out of the hole. Next you go back in the hole and take Chompsky out. Then you put the chicken back in the hole and take the grain out. Then Chompsky opens one of the doors you didn't pick, revealing a goat. Chompsky is your mother and the other coin is a nickel.
posted by Metroid Baby at 1:17 PM on August 18, 2015 [218 favorites]


you got to keep the doggie, way down in the hole
posted by The Whelk at 1:19 PM on August 18, 2015 [21 favorites]


LOVE THIS.

Also, this gives me renewed faith in the internal logic of early Sierra *Quest adventures.
posted by anotherpanacea at 1:22 PM on August 18, 2015 [21 favorites]


Oh, this is easy. First you take the chicken out of the hole. Next you go back in the hole and take Chompsky out. Then you put the chicken back in the hole and take the grain out. Then Chompsky opens one of the doors you didn't pick, revealing a goat. Chompsky is your mother and the other coin is a nickel.

Mornington Crescent.
posted by Etrigan at 1:24 PM on August 18, 2015 [16 favorites]


I bet the dog could have gotten out on its own, and was only sticking around because dogs are fucking awesome that way.
posted by Poldo at 1:27 PM on August 18, 2015 [24 favorites]


For some reason he didn't use AskMe.

No "new question" link in mobile view.
posted by tilde at 1:33 PM on August 18, 2015 [7 favorites]


Yeah there is, if you use the modern theme. It's on the dropdown list from the person button.
posted by ocherdraco at 1:34 PM on August 18, 2015 [2 favorites]


And thus all the classic theme users die alone in holes...
posted by Artw at 1:35 PM on August 18, 2015 [69 favorites]


Boy instead of working this morning I wish I'd been reading twitter so I could have offered my own helpful joke suggestions.
posted by aubilenon at 1:35 PM on August 18, 2015


Classic 4 life!
posted by tilde at 1:36 PM on August 18, 2015 [7 favorites]


I bet the dog could have gotten out on its own, and was only sticking around because dogs are fucking awesome that way.

GOD i got "trapped" in my house when the sliding glass doors to the terrace (the front doors, basically) got stuck in their tracks and could NOT BE MOVED by any force known to man and i lay on the floor cry-whining for about 30 minutes and my dog lay beside me and it was very moving and then i maybe fell asleep for a little while and when i woke up the dog was outside and seemed to be a little embarrassed about it and tl;dr windows exist and can be used as points of egress.
posted by poffin boffin at 1:36 PM on August 18, 2015 [217 favorites]


the classic view users plot and scheme in our subterrane hole-kingdom

one day we will rise up against you
posted by prize bull octorok at 1:38 PM on August 18, 2015 [17 favorites]


That was a two-hanky story, poffin boffin. Your dog is a hero!
posted by blurker at 1:40 PM on August 18, 2015 [3 favorites]


Hold on, let me get this straight.

A guy climbs into an empty swimming pool with his dog, so he can take pictures and post them on the Internet. When he gets stuck, he asks the Internet for help. A stranger sends him an Internet link with DIY instructions for turning his shirt, and then his pants into a backpack. He's successful via a third person's instructions for using an umbrella handle, and posts photos of his success on the Internet.

Fuck the jet pack. I like this future.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 1:42 PM on August 18, 2015 [101 favorites]


Ryan North? What hole did he crawl out of?
posted by Kabanos at 1:43 PM on August 18, 2015 [5 favorites]


I really did feel like it was one of those "escape from this room" flash games. The umbrella had to be there for a reason, neh?
posted by blurker at 1:48 PM on August 18, 2015 [16 favorites]


Ryan North? What hole did he crawl out of?

The one that looks like a graffiti-covered swimming pool. Duh.
posted by item at 1:48 PM on August 18, 2015


DIY instructions for turning his shirt, and then his pants into a backpack.

I love that people kept sending him suggestions that involved taking off increasing amounts of clothes.
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 1:50 PM on August 18, 2015 [81 favorites]


You can switch to desktop mode in classic theme to post a question on mobile. Don't ask me how I know!
I for one will be well-prepared when The Hole Tiemz comes for me.
posted by bleep at 1:51 PM on August 18, 2015 [1 favorite]


I was sure the secret to getting out involved figuring out how to carry Chompsky and No Chompsky at the same time.
posted by lord_wolf at 1:52 PM on August 18, 2015 [25 favorites]


the first thing i thought when i saw this was how jealous i was of the rain

at least if this ever happens to me in california i won't have to worry about it making the sides slippery, so there's that silver lining
posted by burgerrr at 1:57 PM on August 18, 2015 [4 favorites]


I love the post and the comments here so much
posted by raw sugar at 2:06 PM on August 18, 2015 [5 favorites]


homestuck is so weird

Yep.
posted by kenko at 2:08 PM on August 18, 2015 [4 favorites]


Ryan North confirmed to be a Murakami character.
posted by shakespeherian at 2:13 PM on August 18, 2015 [27 favorites]


I giggled so much reading that. Then I read the comments here and giggled even more. A+++ would giggle again!
posted by Ruki at 2:33 PM on August 18, 2015 [2 favorites]


You take a bad boy, make him dig holes all day in the hot sun, it turns him into a good boy. That's our philosophy here at Camp Green Lake.
posted by MsMolly at 2:34 PM on August 18, 2015 [1 favorite]


Not failure to get out of the hole, approximations of success!
posted by fifteen schnitzengruben is my limit at 2:43 PM on August 18, 2015 [1 favorite]


I love that people kept sending him suggestions that involved taking off increasing amounts of clothes.

Must've been confusing him with Peter North.
posted by octobersurprise at 2:49 PM on August 18, 2015 [3 favorites]


MetafilterTwitter: now I am topless and stuck in a hole, please advise
posted by Joe in Australia at 2:50 PM on August 18, 2015 [4 favorites]


Proof that the text adventure rule of pick up everything and try using it (except the unstable ordinance) works.
posted by BrotherCaine at 2:52 PM on August 18, 2015 [16 favorites]


  1. This is a terrific thread.
  2. The best thing about Twitter conversations like this is they immediately show you several cool people you can follow.
  3. Man loves his dog. Respect.
posted by JHarris at 2:55 PM on August 18, 2015 [6 favorites]


Proof that the text adventure rule of pick up everything and try using it (except the unstable ordinance) works.

It helps if you know whether your universe follows Sierra rules or Lucasarts rules.
posted by JHarris at 2:56 PM on August 18, 2015 [26 favorites]


It puts the Chompsky on its skin or it gets the umbrella again.
posted by Rock Steady at 2:59 PM on August 18, 2015 [5 favorites]


I don't understand how that ended up working even with the umbrella involved. The best I can picture it is that he scooted Chompsky with the umbrella and tugged on the leash, and Chompsky took the hint and joined Ryan on his own volition. Because the dog knew it could get out all along. Chompsky was loving it, really. Is this our new home?
posted by naju at 2:59 PM on August 18, 2015 [7 favorites]


Sierra rules

August 2025: Ryan North found dead after entire house collapses on him. Investigators say the problem was a faulty odd-colored supporting beam that was missing a nail.

In completely unrelated news: a local pool has finally been fixed thanks to contractors discovering a nail stuck in the drain.
posted by griphus at 3:00 PM on August 18, 2015 [15 favorites]


*prick*click*bzzzzzttttttttt*whir*

DING!

 ================================================
|                                                |
|                                                |
|                                                |
|                                                |
|                     HOLE                       |
|                                                |
|                                                |
|                                                |
|                                                |
 ================================================
posted by eyeballkid at 3:23 PM on August 18, 2015 [25 favorites]


"Let my skellington serve the next generation of hole men"

Ok I don't know who this dude is but I think I love him.
posted by turbid dahlia at 3:24 PM on August 18, 2015 [14 favorites]


(related)
posted by eyeballkid at 3:24 PM on August 18, 2015


I don't understand how that ended up working even with the umbrella involved.

Pulled on front of dog with leash. Put umbrella handle under dog and used to support backend. Probably even just hooking a back leg would do it. Dog's dignity not intact but otherwise probably OK.

Or possibly just pulling on the leash was good enough and he used the umbrella to have enough reach to get to the dog's leash.
posted by RustyBrooks at 3:27 PM on August 18, 2015


He should have just firemans carried the dog over his shoulders and climbed out.
posted by pravit at 3:30 PM on August 18, 2015


I don't know pravit, that sounds like a good way to drop a dog when you're doing it on a slick, curved surface like the one he had to deal with.
posted by turbid dahlia at 3:34 PM on August 18, 2015 [3 favorites]


Yeah, a dog that needs an umbrella push to come out of a hole when being dragged is probably also not a dog that's gonna sit well on your shoulder for something like that.

(though God do I wish there was video of either)
posted by MCMikeNamara at 3:50 PM on August 18, 2015


Also, some dogs really just can not be carried. One of my dogs might let me, the other one, no freakin way. He would be trying to escape with every fiber of his being the whole time.
posted by RustyBrooks at 3:51 PM on August 18, 2015


I am bothered by the holier-than-thou attitudes on display in this thread.
posted by GenjiandProust at 3:52 PM on August 18, 2015 [14 favorites]


Well, they call me "your highness" because I already got out of the hole.
posted by RustyBrooks at 3:55 PM on August 18, 2015 [9 favorites]


Get self out of hole, leave dog in hole.
Find something to stand on, throw it in hole.
Go back and get dog.


But then who will stop your dog from eating the goat?
posted by I-Write-Essays at 3:59 PM on August 18, 2015 [4 favorites]


To bad there weren't any industrious journalists with climbing equipment around.
posted by brundlefly at 4:01 PM on August 18, 2015 [1 favorite]


I'm confused about how he was able to pull himself out at the end. Didn't he say it was too slippery? Or was it just too slippery to walk out while holding the dog? I must know!
posted by lunasol at 4:22 PM on August 18, 2015


At least he wasn't going to starve down there, I hear a lot of good things about Hole Foods.
posted by Wolfdog at 4:28 PM on August 18, 2015 [4 favorites]


he said it was specifically too slippery to do one handed
posted by nadawi at 4:28 PM on August 18, 2015 [2 favorites]


I'm just a little surprised he used Twitter as his social media apparatus for his hole problem when both he* and his dog (dog's full name: Noah Chompsky) have Tumblr pages. His post-escape 8-word post got over 600 notes. I'd think an "I'm in a hole" post there would've gotten thousands, including a couple geolocated "hey, I know where that hole is... be right over to pull you out".

*yes, he made his Tumblr page look like a Faceblook page... reason #283 why he's one of my Internet Heroes

Anyway, I just read his 8-part indie comic "The Midas Flesh", in which three rebel astronauts (one of whom is an intelligent dinosaur - a Raptor Engineer, in fact) successfully capture the body of King Midas from the entire planet he has accidentally turned to gold without touching anything down there. Considering how ingeniously he solved that puzzle (but then [SPOILER], later in the story, complications make them regret ever going after it), I'm kinda surprised he didn't figure it out himself.

Also on his Tumblr, just before the hole, he posted a commercial for his favorite brand of computer - Lenovo, which may have made some fans of his who are also Apple fans not WANT to help him.

posted via a reconditioned Lenovo T420 still using Windows 7
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:29 PM on August 18, 2015 [3 favorites]


At least he wasn't going to starve down there, I hear a lot of good things about Hole Foods.

There is no way he had enough money in that pants-backpack for more than three meals.
posted by GenjiandProust at 4:46 PM on August 18, 2015 [1 favorite]


I know it's a big, big internet, but still surprised at how many MeFites didn't know Ryan North. Dude does a TON of cool stuff.
posted by Chrysostom at 4:47 PM on August 18, 2015 [1 favorite]


I'm confused about how he was able to pull himself out at the end. Didn't he say it was too slippery? Or was it just too slippery to walk out while holding the dog? I must know!

Getting out required two arms and two legs. He needed both arms to grab the ladder and brace himself. Therefore, it was too slippery to walk up and get onto the ladder while holding the dog in one arm. And neither could he just toss the dog up first and then follow.

So, it was climb, reach back and pull the leash with one hand while using the umbrella as an arm extension to hook the dog's ass.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 5:14 PM on August 18, 2015




LADDER
posted by ardgedee at 5:37 PM on August 18, 2015


At least there weren't any ashes in that hole. Nothing worse than being stranded by some ash hole.
posted by humanfont at 6:03 PM on August 18, 2015 [5 favorites]


Whenever I come across a hole I find the best way to tackle it is by taking...an HOLEISTIC APPROACH.
posted by turbid dahlia at 6:26 PM on August 18, 2015 [2 favorites]


Th-this is my hole! It was made for me!
posted by oulipian at 6:52 PM on August 18, 2015 [10 favorites]


Honestly this made me sad and kind of outraged. 57,000 twitter followers and a not a single person he can phone and say "hey, I'm stuck in a hole. Can you come by with a ladder/rope/rope-ladder/your arms" and help me out? This is kind of the most social-media thing ever to happen.
posted by dis_integration at 7:39 PM on August 18, 2015 [2 favorites]


I'm just glad it didn't get dark. He could've been eaten by a grue.
posted by the bird at the bottom of the tree at 7:50 PM on August 18, 2015 [13 favorites]


He didn't ask Squirrel Girl for help?

I don't think she does well with dogs.
posted by maryr at 8:25 PM on August 18, 2015 [4 favorites]


I can't even count how many times I've seen rollerbladers stuck at the bottom of the bowls at the skateparks I frequent.
posted by grimcity at 9:40 PM on August 18, 2015 [3 favorites]


I am pretty sure it's this skatepark and this bowl and I am pretty sure I've seen that handsome dog around the neighbourhood.
posted by peagood at 9:45 PM on August 18, 2015 [5 favorites]


I was sure the secret to getting out involved figuring out how to carry Chompsky and No Chompsky at the same time.

When I saw only one set of paw prints, it was then that Chompsky carried me.
posted by krinklyfig at 4:07 AM on August 19, 2015 [31 favorites]


Honestly this made me sad and kind of outraged. 57,000 twitter followers and a not a single person he can phone and say "hey, I'm stuck in a hole.

I hear the new smart phones can be used for instant live voice chat.
/ old person joke
posted by krinklyfig at 4:10 AM on August 19, 2015 [10 favorites]




Comics Alliance: A Tale Of Survival: Ryan North On Being Trapped In A Hole With His Dog For 40 Minutes

Featuring what I think we can all agree is the most important commentary North could possibly give on his harrowing brush with subterranean existence (and the wall-to-wall media coverage surrounding it):

"There’s an Ask Metafilter thread about this too, and my favorite comment there was Oneswellfoop saying how much he liked my comic The Midas Flesh and how clever it was, and how could someone that clever not be able to find his way out of a hole?

But what he’s forgetting is, how could someone that clever get trapped in a hole in the first place? Answer: quite easily, the walls are real slippy!"
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 11:20 AM on August 19, 2015 [19 favorites]


That Guardian article gives me hope for the future of journalism.
posted by GenjiandProust at 1:43 PM on August 19, 2015 [2 favorites]


Thank god Chip Zdarsky didn't get stuck in a hole.
posted by Artw at 1:52 PM on August 19, 2015 [1 favorite]


Oh no.
posted by Artw at 3:40 PM on August 19, 2015 [1 favorite]


Ryan North thinks Metafilter is Ask Metafilter. *feels conflicted*
posted by bleep at 5:28 PM on August 19, 2015 [3 favorites]


I made Ryan North's favorite comment!!! Now I'm stuck in my apartment because my swolen head won't fit through the door.

but seriously, if you've enjoyed North's Squirrel Girl, Adventure Time, To Be or Not To Be, etc., get The Midas Flesh, now in two 'graphic novel-y' volumes. (I'd put a purchase link here, but no longer want to admit I bought it from Amazon) SPOILER: it's the first time I ever read a story that used a rather literal 'Deus Ex Machina' ending that made perfect sense and was not a cop-out...
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:06 PM on August 19, 2015 [5 favorites]


and, come to think of it, if Chip Zdarsky had come along and rescued him, that would've been kind of 'Deus Ex Machina' too
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:08 PM on August 19, 2015 [2 favorites]


Mr. North can unhole me any day.
posted by Evilspork at 7:17 PM on August 19, 2015 [2 favorites]


Then you would be unholey.

Then again, your name does contain the word "evil"...
posted by Greg_Ace at 7:50 PM on August 19, 2015


This maybe the first time in history that a thread did actually wendell.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 12:38 PM on August 21, 2015 [7 favorites]


The hole's made it to teevee! Includes useful visual representations of both hole and escape method.
posted by meese at 12:54 PM on August 21, 2015 [3 favorites]


From the Guardian comments, a video with local skater Osob that features the bowl near the end, including a shot of the helpful warning sign that Mr North decided to ignore: "If you don't think you can climb out, don't climb in." (at around 1:43).
posted by effbot at 7:30 AM on August 22, 2015


But I'm pretty sure he did think he could get out! That's not a very good warning sign.
posted by meese at 9:02 AM on August 22, 2015


And in fact he could get out, the problem was he couldn't get his dog out with him.
posted by tavella at 11:29 AM on August 22, 2015


It's a good thing he didn't get hungry down there or he might have had to Nom Chompsky ... also, did you know the hole's only natural enemy is the pile?
posted by msbutah at 11:59 AM on August 27, 2015 [1 favorite]


Meanwhile, on Ceres.
posted by Artw at 12:54 PM on August 27, 2015


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