What Do The Sex Pistols And Doctor Who Have In Common?
March 15, 2016 5:59 AM Subscribe
March 1985, England. The long-running BBC TV show "Doctor Who" was seemingly at its nadir* of its then 22-year history. The end of February saw the shock announcement that the sci-fi/fantasy show would be "axed," though in reality, it was about to be placed on an 18-month hiatus.
A series of bad decisions--poor casting choices, glossy production values to hide weak scripts, hanging on to dramatic surprises as a crutch, overly violent action--had led the show down a ratings and critical decline over the last 4-5 seasons. While much of the blame for the show's fortunes were placed on the shoulders of producer John Nathan-Turner, fingers could realistically be pointed in a number of directions: script editor Eric Saward, Sixth Doctor Colin Baker, Nicola Bryant as the Doctor's companion Peri, and so on. Articles and books have been written about the show's tumultous decade in the 1980s, far too many to link here, but instead of a rehash of all that, it's time to look at one unfortunate artifact from the show's hiatus: the "Doctor In Distress" charity single.
Ian Levine (previously, previouslier) was and is a self-professed Doctor Who fan whose love of the show has led him, in the current era, to rescue old episodes from the William Hartnell (First Doctor) and Patrick Troughton (Second Doctor) era. Back in the 1980s, he was an unofficial continuity advisor to John Nathan-Turner, so while his name did not appear in the show's credits, Levine assisted with script edits and suggestions. Levine, however, was much better known for his work as a Northern Soul/Hi-NRG DJ, being also the first resident DJ for the renowned London nightclub Heaven, and also as a record producer/mixer for Record Shack Records.
In 1981, Levine had his first chance to combine the worlds of music and Doctor Who by writing the music for a proposed DW spin-off "K9 And Company," but four years later, he was called upon to write a charity single whose proceeds would go toward funding the delayed 23rd season of Doctor Who. Recorded under the rather unfortunate name of Who Cares?, the "Doctor In Distress" single purportedly was to have featured contributions from Elton John and Holly Johnson of Frankie Goes To Hollywood fame, along with members of the Village People. Instead, the musicians included members of the Moody Blues, Ultravox, a pre-solo Basia, original cast members from Starlight Express, and keyboard work by some guy named Hans Zimmer. Cast members from Doctor Who also, er, sang, such as Colin Baker, Nicola Bryant, Anthony Ainley (who portrayed The Master), and Nicholas Courtney (who played Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart).
The single was recorded on March 7th and 8th, and then released to an unprepared world on March 15, 1985. The BBC refused to play the song, claiming that it was of poor quality and the lyrics couldn't be clearly understood. Levine later reflected upon the song:
*While the show did return for Season 23, things became worse overall. Much, much worse.
**A little over three years later, two guys were able to come up with a hit song about Doctor Who that was so successful, they wrote a book about it.
A series of bad decisions--poor casting choices, glossy production values to hide weak scripts, hanging on to dramatic surprises as a crutch, overly violent action--had led the show down a ratings and critical decline over the last 4-5 seasons. While much of the blame for the show's fortunes were placed on the shoulders of producer John Nathan-Turner, fingers could realistically be pointed in a number of directions: script editor Eric Saward, Sixth Doctor Colin Baker, Nicola Bryant as the Doctor's companion Peri, and so on. Articles and books have been written about the show's tumultous decade in the 1980s, far too many to link here, but instead of a rehash of all that, it's time to look at one unfortunate artifact from the show's hiatus: the "Doctor In Distress" charity single.
Ian Levine (previously, previouslier) was and is a self-professed Doctor Who fan whose love of the show has led him, in the current era, to rescue old episodes from the William Hartnell (First Doctor) and Patrick Troughton (Second Doctor) era. Back in the 1980s, he was an unofficial continuity advisor to John Nathan-Turner, so while his name did not appear in the show's credits, Levine assisted with script edits and suggestions. Levine, however, was much better known for his work as a Northern Soul/Hi-NRG DJ, being also the first resident DJ for the renowned London nightclub Heaven, and also as a record producer/mixer for Record Shack Records.
In 1981, Levine had his first chance to combine the worlds of music and Doctor Who by writing the music for a proposed DW spin-off "K9 And Company," but four years later, he was called upon to write a charity single whose proceeds would go toward funding the delayed 23rd season of Doctor Who. Recorded under the rather unfortunate name of Who Cares?, the "Doctor In Distress" single purportedly was to have featured contributions from Elton John and Holly Johnson of Frankie Goes To Hollywood fame, along with members of the Village People. Instead, the musicians included members of the Moody Blues, Ultravox, a pre-solo Basia, original cast members from Starlight Express, and keyboard work by some guy named Hans Zimmer. Cast members from Doctor Who also, er, sang, such as Colin Baker, Nicola Bryant, Anthony Ainley (who portrayed The Master), and Nicholas Courtney (who played Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart).
The single was recorded on March 7th and 8th, and then released to an unprepared world on March 15, 1985. The BBC refused to play the song, claiming that it was of poor quality and the lyrics couldn't be clearly understood. Levine later reflected upon the song:
'It was an absolute balls-up fiasco**. It was pathetic and bad and stupid. It tried to tell the Dr Who history in an awful high-energy song. It almost ruined me.'So 31 years later, it's time to relive the struggle, the drama, and the love. Bring it back now, we won't take less!
*While the show did return for Season 23, things became worse overall. Much, much worse.
**A little over three years later, two guys were able to come up with a hit song about Doctor Who that was so successful, they wrote a book about it.
What Do The Sex Pistols And Doctor Who Have In Common?
Both were at their best in the mid-to-late ’70s?
posted by misteraitch at 6:28 AM on March 15, 2016 [6 favorites]
Both were at their best in the mid-to-late ’70s?
posted by misteraitch at 6:28 AM on March 15, 2016 [6 favorites]
While much of the blame for the show's fortunes were placed on the shoulders of producer John Nathan-Turner, fingers could realistically be pointed in a number of directions: script editor Eric Saward, Sixth Doctor Colin Baker, Nicola Bryant as the Doctor's companion Peri, and so on
Your thesis sucks.
Exhibit one: JNT. (for many reasons, but the whole kiddie sex thing... mostly).
To lay the blame at Saward (and, yeah, I read Slipback), Baker (do you even Big Finish?) or Bryant is... not fair.
*While the show did return for Season 23, things became worse overall. Much, much worse.
As someone who lived it: well, that's just your opinion.
two guys were able to come up with a hit song yt about Doctor Who that was so successful, they wrote a book about it.
My unpopular opinion, of the time and now: The KLF sucked. And, well, using a Gary Glitter riff we come back to child molestation. And I haven't even touched Jim in the Fix with the Sontarans.
But, yeah, Doctor In Distress sucked then and sucks now. Even DWM made fun of it.
posted by Mezentian at 6:29 AM on March 15, 2016 [1 favorite]
Your thesis sucks.
Exhibit one: JNT. (for many reasons, but the whole kiddie sex thing... mostly).
To lay the blame at Saward (and, yeah, I read Slipback), Baker (do you even Big Finish?) or Bryant is... not fair.
*While the show did return for Season 23, things became worse overall. Much, much worse.
As someone who lived it: well, that's just your opinion.
two guys were able to come up with a hit song yt about Doctor Who that was so successful, they wrote a book about it.
My unpopular opinion, of the time and now: The KLF sucked. And, well, using a Gary Glitter riff we come back to child molestation. And I haven't even touched Jim in the Fix with the Sontarans.
But, yeah, Doctor In Distress sucked then and sucks now. Even DWM made fun of it.
posted by Mezentian at 6:29 AM on March 15, 2016 [1 favorite]
There was a recent article in the Guardian in which Peter Capaldi accused the BBC of more or less neglecting Doctor Who and cited that as the reasons the most recent series ratings weren't that great, and I, an ardent Who fan since childhood, had to go: "Yeeeeeeah, I don't think that's it, mate."
posted by Kitteh at 6:32 AM on March 15, 2016 [5 favorites]
posted by Kitteh at 6:32 AM on March 15, 2016 [5 favorites]
Wait, is the Sex Pistols reference Hans Zimmer?
Because he was in the Damned at one point, and they were the first punk band to record a single, or so they say.
posted by Mezentian at 6:32 AM on March 15, 2016 [1 favorite]
Because he was in the Damned at one point, and they were the first punk band to record a single, or so they say.
posted by Mezentian at 6:32 AM on March 15, 2016 [1 favorite]
I was on a Who hiatus at the time - took no interest in the show between Tom Baker and The RTD Singularity Event - so missed this altogether, although I did occasionally enjoy a night at Heaven in blissful, not to say blissed-out, ignorance of the connection.
I am delighted to learn of this peculiarity, and my god is it bad. Perhaps the Human League could have pulled it off... but no, there's not one good thing here. Not a single iota of anything above awful.
The best you can say is that if the show could survive stuff like this, it can survive anything. Even, perhaps, the utter pig's ear the BBC is making of actually getting the damn thing on the air at the moment.
One extra data point - London was awash with cocaine in the mid 80s. I do not think this is mere coincidence.
posted by Devonian at 6:34 AM on March 15, 2016 [1 favorite]
I am delighted to learn of this peculiarity, and my god is it bad. Perhaps the Human League could have pulled it off... but no, there's not one good thing here. Not a single iota of anything above awful.
The best you can say is that if the show could survive stuff like this, it can survive anything. Even, perhaps, the utter pig's ear the BBC is making of actually getting the damn thing on the air at the moment.
One extra data point - London was awash with cocaine in the mid 80s. I do not think this is mere coincidence.
posted by Devonian at 6:34 AM on March 15, 2016 [1 favorite]
The commonality was that both of them had songs which the BBC refused to play on the radio, albeit for drastically different reasons.
posted by stannate at 6:34 AM on March 15, 2016 [5 favorites]
posted by stannate at 6:34 AM on March 15, 2016 [5 favorites]
I'll probably get slammed, doxxed and exterrrrminated but that song rather summarized my personal experience of watching Dr Who, basically older science fiction ideas presented in a rather lame uninspired way with the second act expectation of a pat deus ex machina ending. Killer robots are invading, everyone in the world a south london neighborhood are being melted and eaten, the "doctor" dies, but just before his demise he tells the pretty ingénue, press the green button, which she does and everything is fixed except she can't visit the phone booth for a few days.
(oh gosh, I know it's NOT a phone booth :-)
posted by sammyo at 6:58 AM on March 15, 2016 [5 favorites]
(oh gosh, I know it's NOT a phone booth :-)
posted by sammyo at 6:58 AM on March 15, 2016 [5 favorites]
If they both had songs the BBC refused to play, then they are part of a pretty big club.
posted by TedW at 6:58 AM on March 15, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by TedW at 6:58 AM on March 15, 2016 [1 favorite]
That was an amazing video for a number of reasons - few seemed really interested to be there, most were clearly reading the lyrics and then there's the sudden on-screen text: WHO CARES - not a question, just a statement, as if to say "really, who cares at this point, we're 2 minutes into a 3 and a half minute song, but no one is really invested yet, are you? No, we didn't think so. Sorry to waste your time, here's some computer graphics, aren't they impressive?"
posted by filthy light thief at 7:53 AM on March 15, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by filthy light thief at 7:53 AM on March 15, 2016 [1 favorite]
Who's for freeing up Malcolm Tucker as Dr. Who?
posted by milnews.ca at 7:53 AM on March 15, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by milnews.ca at 7:53 AM on March 15, 2016 [1 favorite]
A series of bad decisions--poor casting choices, glossy production values to hide weak scripts, hanging on to dramatic surprises as a crutch, overly violent action
As in...everything they're doing now...?
Yawn. Call me when they cast a non-white non-dude (possibly even non-human?) character as the Doctor's next iteration.
posted by Mooseli at 9:44 AM on March 15, 2016
As in...everything they're doing now...?
Yawn. Call me when they cast a non-white non-dude (possibly even non-human?) character as the Doctor's next iteration.
posted by Mooseli at 9:44 AM on March 15, 2016
For those of you, like me, and everybody else who's ever watched that video, who couldn't make out a word, I'm doing you the "favour" of posting them here:
************
Eighteen months is too long to wait,
Bring back the doctor don't hesitate.
It was a cold wet night in November
Twenty-two years ago,
There was a police boc in a junkyard
We didn't know where it would go,
An old man took two teachers
Into time and space,
It started off a legend
That no other could replace.
Doctor in distress,
Let's all answer his S.O.S.,
Doctor in distress,
Bring him back now, we won't take less.
There were evil metal creatures
Who tried to exterminate,
Inside each of their casings
Was a bubbling lump of hate,
We met cybernetic humans
With no feelings at all,
Warriors of the ice
Who stood over seven feet tall.
Bring him back now we won't take less,
If we stop his travels he'll be in a mess,
The galaxy will fall to evil once more,
With nightmarish monsters fighting a war.
We've learned to accept six doctors
With companions at their side,
When they were faced with danger
They didn't run and hide,
There was a Brigadier and a Master
And a canine computer,
Each screaming girl just hoped
That a Yeti wouldn't shoot her.
Doctor in distress,
Let's all answer his S.O.S.,
Doctor in distress,
Bring him back now, we won't take less.
************
How does stuff like this actually get made?
posted by crazylegs at 9:55 AM on March 15, 2016 [2 favorites]
************
Eighteen months is too long to wait,
Bring back the doctor don't hesitate.
It was a cold wet night in November
Twenty-two years ago,
There was a police boc in a junkyard
We didn't know where it would go,
An old man took two teachers
Into time and space,
It started off a legend
That no other could replace.
Doctor in distress,
Let's all answer his S.O.S.,
Doctor in distress,
Bring him back now, we won't take less.
There were evil metal creatures
Who tried to exterminate,
Inside each of their casings
Was a bubbling lump of hate,
We met cybernetic humans
With no feelings at all,
Warriors of the ice
Who stood over seven feet tall.
Bring him back now we won't take less,
If we stop his travels he'll be in a mess,
The galaxy will fall to evil once more,
With nightmarish monsters fighting a war.
We've learned to accept six doctors
With companions at their side,
When they were faced with danger
They didn't run and hide,
There was a Brigadier and a Master
And a canine computer,
Each screaming girl just hoped
That a Yeti wouldn't shoot her.
Doctor in distress,
Let's all answer his S.O.S.,
Doctor in distress,
Bring him back now, we won't take less.
************
How does stuff like this actually get made?
posted by crazylegs at 9:55 AM on March 15, 2016 [2 favorites]
Ian Levine is a full on stereotypical nerd with all the utter lack of perspective that implies.
posted by Artw at 9:59 AM on March 15, 2016
posted by Artw at 9:59 AM on March 15, 2016
There was a Brigadier and a Master
And a canine computer,
Each screaming girl just hoped
That a Yeti wouldn't shoot her.
My favorite part.
posted by stannate at 10:25 AM on March 15, 2016 [1 favorite]
And a canine computer,
Each screaming girl just hoped
That a Yeti wouldn't shoot her.
My favorite part.
posted by stannate at 10:25 AM on March 15, 2016 [1 favorite]
Doctor in distress,
Let's all answer his S.O.S.,
Doctor in distress,
Bring him back now, we won't take less.
The other options being: bring him back ... later? Or bring someone else back now? You're not really offering much room for compromise.
posted by filthy light thief at 11:56 AM on March 15, 2016 [1 favorite]
Let's all answer his S.O.S.,
Doctor in distress,
Bring him back now, we won't take less.
The other options being: bring him back ... later? Or bring someone else back now? You're not really offering much room for compromise.
posted by filthy light thief at 11:56 AM on March 15, 2016 [1 favorite]
I could see Johnny Rotton as a good Meddling Monk
posted by brilliantmistake at 12:27 PM on March 15, 2016
posted by brilliantmistake at 12:27 PM on March 15, 2016
The Great Dalek & Roll Swindle?
posted by delfin at 1:01 PM on March 15, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by delfin at 1:01 PM on March 15, 2016 [1 favorite]
Never Mind The Abzorboloffs
(Sad Tony was robbed, you fucking rotters)
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 1:30 PM on March 15, 2016 [3 favorites]
(Sad Tony was robbed, you fucking rotters)
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 1:30 PM on March 15, 2016 [3 favorites]
I was fifteen years old when I first heard this song, and the hiatus was still a hot-button issue in Who fandom at the time. I owned the 45 of this. I genuinely unironically loved this song and I still do and you can't stop me.
posted by webmutant at 2:49 PM on March 15, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by webmutant at 2:49 PM on March 15, 2016 [2 favorites]
OK, until I hit the yeti line, I thought this song was absolute garbage. At that point, hearing "Each screaming girl just hoped/That a Yeti wouldn't shoot her" sung completely seriously by someone who is fluent in English, that is brilliant. WOW.
(also: presumably it takes time to MAKE doctor who? so for asking for him back now, what, do they just want to film him standing around, waiting for scripts to come in?)
posted by Rev. Syung Myung Me at 5:59 PM on March 15, 2016
(also: presumably it takes time to MAKE doctor who? so for asking for him back now, what, do they just want to film him standing around, waiting for scripts to come in?)
posted by Rev. Syung Myung Me at 5:59 PM on March 15, 2016
My memory of that terrible song is so vivid & intense I can't even stomach to hear more than a few seconds of it. Terrible and wrong-headed.
At the time, when I watched Colin Baker's first season, I set the blame for its poor quality at Colin Baker's feet. But rewatching them recently it is very clearly a problem with the production and not (entirely) the actors fault. While I do think JNT should shoulder much of the blame for show’s “hiatus” and later cancellation, I think there was a concatenation of events that led them there. Changes in market & viewing habits, ITV actively & aggressively programming against the show, JNT’s divided interests & weaknesses in his producing a dramatic programme, his increasing desire to connect with American fandom, a series of uneven scripts, conflicts & poor communication between Eric Saward & JNT (check out the infamous Starburst interview with Saward), decreasing budgets, conflicts between the production and management… the list goes on and on.
It was a messy time and its return in the navel-gazing and uneven Trial of the Time Lord did them no favours. It baffles me that they didn't cancel the show after that season.
posted by Ashwagandha at 6:13 PM on March 15, 2016 [2 favorites]
At the time, when I watched Colin Baker's first season, I set the blame for its poor quality at Colin Baker's feet. But rewatching them recently it is very clearly a problem with the production and not (entirely) the actors fault. While I do think JNT should shoulder much of the blame for show’s “hiatus” and later cancellation, I think there was a concatenation of events that led them there. Changes in market & viewing habits, ITV actively & aggressively programming against the show, JNT’s divided interests & weaknesses in his producing a dramatic programme, his increasing desire to connect with American fandom, a series of uneven scripts, conflicts & poor communication between Eric Saward & JNT (check out the infamous Starburst interview with Saward), decreasing budgets, conflicts between the production and management… the list goes on and on.
It was a messy time and its return in the navel-gazing and uneven Trial of the Time Lord did them no favours. It baffles me that they didn't cancel the show after that season.
posted by Ashwagandha at 6:13 PM on March 15, 2016 [2 favorites]
I lived Doctor Who, but Colin Baker's first appearance utterly repelled me.
posted by Artw at 6:18 PM on March 15, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by Artw at 6:18 PM on March 15, 2016 [1 favorite]
Doctor in distress,
Let's all answer his S.O.S.,
Doctor in distress,
Bring him back now, we won't take less.
Isn't that the plot of Last of the Time Lords?
posted by Leon at 6:24 PM on March 15, 2016
Let's all answer his S.O.S.,
Doctor in distress,
Bring him back now, we won't take less.
Isn't that the plot of Last of the Time Lords?
posted by Leon at 6:24 PM on March 15, 2016
Isn't that the plot of Last of the Time Lords?
If only it was that lucid.
posted by Ashwagandha at 6:31 PM on March 15, 2016 [1 favorite]
If only it was that lucid.
posted by Ashwagandha at 6:31 PM on March 15, 2016 [1 favorite]
(also: presumably it takes time to MAKE doctor who? so for asking for him back now, what, do they just want to film him standing around, waiting for scripts to come in?)
Of course not! What they want him to do is wait for the scripts to come in, film his adventures, save the days, then hop in the TARDIS with the completed tapes and zoom back to the exact time of their demands. Simple, really.
posted by Spatch at 6:43 PM on March 15, 2016 [3 favorites]
Of course not! What they want him to do is wait for the scripts to come in, film his adventures, save the days, then hop in the TARDIS with the completed tapes and zoom back to the exact time of their demands. Simple, really.
posted by Spatch at 6:43 PM on March 15, 2016 [3 favorites]
it seems so obvious now
posted by Rev. Syung Myung Me at 6:44 PM on March 15, 2016
posted by Rev. Syung Myung Me at 6:44 PM on March 15, 2016
A series of bad decisions--poor casting choices, glossy production values to hide weak scripts, hanging on to dramatic surprises as a crutch, overly violent action...
Oh, that's OK! Moffatt totally... fixed...
Um.
posted by prismatic7 at 11:18 PM on March 16, 2016
Oh, that's OK! Moffatt totally... fixed...
Um.
posted by prismatic7 at 11:18 PM on March 16, 2016
Doctor Who and the Communist: The work and politics of Malcolm Hulke
posted by Artw at 3:42 PM on March 20, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by Artw at 3:42 PM on March 20, 2016 [1 favorite]
Artw that's a great article, thanks for posting. Malcolm Hulke’s Doctor Who novels were always favourites of mine and in some cases I preferred his novels to the actual TV serials they were based on, particularly his adaptation of Who & the Silurians (called Doctor Who and Cave Monsters in its novel form).
One thing that caught my eye was that this article suggests that Hulke's take on Who didn't mesh with the Holmes / Hinchliffe era hence he wasn't asked back. I was under the impression, at least based on some of his scripts, that Robert Holmes was fairly left leaning as well but perhaps not a card carrying member of the Communist party. Regardless of that, I would think Holmes would have had some sympathies in that direction.
posted by Ashwagandha at 8:17 AM on March 21, 2016
One thing that caught my eye was that this article suggests that Hulke's take on Who didn't mesh with the Holmes / Hinchliffe era hence he wasn't asked back. I was under the impression, at least based on some of his scripts, that Robert Holmes was fairly left leaning as well but perhaps not a card carrying member of the Communist party. Regardless of that, I would think Holmes would have had some sympathies in that direction.
posted by Ashwagandha at 8:17 AM on March 21, 2016
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posted by evilDoug at 6:20 AM on March 15, 2016 [7 favorites]