A recipe for fried mayonnaise.
April 29, 2016 9:10 PM Subscribe
nothing worse than adding texture to your deep-fried mayo by accidentally including crusty crumbs
posted by subbes at 9:22 PM on April 29, 2016 [5 favorites]
posted by subbes at 9:22 PM on April 29, 2016 [5 favorites]
Alternate recipe:
1. Heat deep fryer
2. Pour mayo in deep fryer
3. Remove heat
4. Drink contents
posted by Existential Dread at 9:23 PM on April 29, 2016 [30 favorites]
1. Heat deep fryer
2. Pour mayo in deep fryer
3. Remove heat
4. Drink contents
posted by Existential Dread at 9:23 PM on April 29, 2016 [30 favorites]
Scoop a sphere of Mayonnaise 1″ in diameter
*places hand on heart*
I solemnly swear I will henceforth refer to any and all measurements of mayo as X number of "spheres."
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 9:28 PM on April 29, 2016 [4 favorites]
*places hand on heart*
I solemnly swear I will henceforth refer to any and all measurements of mayo as X number of "spheres."
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 9:28 PM on April 29, 2016 [4 favorites]
Never go full Minnesota.
posted by T.D. Strange at 9:28 PM on April 29, 2016 [24 favorites]
posted by T.D. Strange at 9:28 PM on April 29, 2016 [24 favorites]
Wait, is the web page doing...interesting...things for anyone else? I think I might be experiencing a real-life Eternal Darkness sanity effect.
posted by Strange Interlude at 9:30 PM on April 29, 2016 [5 favorites]
posted by Strange Interlude at 9:30 PM on April 29, 2016 [5 favorites]
Wait, is the web page doing...interesting...things for anyone else? I think I might be experiencing a real-life Eternal Darkness sanity effect.
I'm thinking the initial autoplay sound is just prelude to the aftermath.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 9:32 PM on April 29, 2016 [1 favorite]
I'm thinking the initial autoplay sound is just prelude to the aftermath.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 9:32 PM on April 29, 2016 [1 favorite]
Half quart of mayo, serving for two, I can't stop laughing. My heart! My heart!
posted by Oyéah at 9:43 PM on April 29, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by Oyéah at 9:43 PM on April 29, 2016 [1 favorite]
i came to comment on The Hum, but see that i'm late to the game. On further clicking around though, the whole sound experience is fairly satisfying.
posted by Conrad-Casserole at 9:47 PM on April 29, 2016
posted by Conrad-Casserole at 9:47 PM on April 29, 2016
Congratulations, everyone! Hearty handshakes all around! Finally! Gosh!
posted by cmoj at 9:56 PM on April 29, 2016
posted by cmoj at 9:56 PM on April 29, 2016
"the initial autoplay sound" I momentarily read that as initial autopsy sound.
posted by Oyéah at 9:57 PM on April 29, 2016 [6 favorites]
posted by Oyéah at 9:57 PM on April 29, 2016 [6 favorites]
Look. I like mayo but no. Just no. You all are welcome to as much deep fried mayo as you want, though.
posted by fluffy battle kitten at 10:00 PM on April 29, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by fluffy battle kitten at 10:00 PM on April 29, 2016 [1 favorite]
If I adapt this recipe, my dream of deep-fried gravy could finally become real!
posted by Thorzdad at 10:04 PM on April 29, 2016 [7 favorites]
posted by Thorzdad at 10:04 PM on April 29, 2016 [7 favorites]
"Everything’s going to be OK."
posted by anadem at 10:06 PM on April 29, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by anadem at 10:06 PM on April 29, 2016 [1 favorite]
fucking mayonnaise winked at me.
posted by Makwa at 10:08 PM on April 29, 2016 [4 favorites]
posted by Makwa at 10:08 PM on April 29, 2016 [4 favorites]
Thorzdad - freeze the gravy. Scoop chunks or balls of the gravy into biscuit dough. Shape the dough into a rough ball shape around the chunk o'gravy. Fry. Let us know how this goes.
posted by fluffy battle kitten at 10:09 PM on April 29, 2016 [7 favorites]
posted by fluffy battle kitten at 10:09 PM on April 29, 2016 [7 favorites]
??
Fried may--
what
Ahh, I see, this must be part of the #keepmefiweird thing.
...Right?
posted by Greg_Ace at 10:11 PM on April 29, 2016 [2 favorites]
Fried may--
what
Ahh, I see, this must be part of the #keepmefiweird thing.
...Right?
posted by Greg_Ace at 10:11 PM on April 29, 2016 [2 favorites]
I had seen the "mefi's a bummer" meta post & was thinking to help counter that with something amusing, but not the May weird one until right after I posted this, or I would have waited a day. I mean, there was a pun & everything. Saw it on Twitter & just did a post, as one does.
posted by Devils Rancher at 10:18 PM on April 29, 2016 [5 favorites]
posted by Devils Rancher at 10:18 PM on April 29, 2016 [5 favorites]
i'm awfully glad they told us to how to de-crust the bread (remove crust from slice of sourdough).
posted by mazola at 10:22 PM on April 29, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by mazola at 10:22 PM on April 29, 2016 [1 favorite]
Whoever wrote this site seems to have had some medical background, too... even if the treatment for nearly everything appears to be an IV mayonnaise bolus.
posted by gemutlichkeit at 10:49 PM on April 29, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by gemutlichkeit at 10:49 PM on April 29, 2016 [2 favorites]
I… uh. Huh.
posted by ob1quixote at 11:09 PM on April 29, 2016
posted by ob1quixote at 11:09 PM on April 29, 2016
how is the sauce not ranch
have these people no decency
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 11:34 PM on April 29, 2016 [7 favorites]
have these people no decency
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 11:34 PM on April 29, 2016 [7 favorites]
MetaFibrillator
posted by a lungful of dragon at 11:40 PM on April 29, 2016 [10 favorites]
posted by a lungful of dragon at 11:40 PM on April 29, 2016 [10 favorites]
I'm afraid that mazola's gratitude for the recipe's advice on "how" to de-crust the bread gives too much credit. The recipe merely defines "de-crust" as removing the crust. We're still left wondering how, exactly.
posted by univac at 11:41 PM on April 29, 2016
posted by univac at 11:41 PM on April 29, 2016
MetaFilter: Mix well, until monochrome
posted by univac at 11:42 PM on April 29, 2016 [10 favorites]
posted by univac at 11:42 PM on April 29, 2016 [10 favorites]
MetaFilter: Mix well, until monochrome Such a nice shade of blue.
posted by gideonswann at 11:57 PM on April 29, 2016
The recommended dipping sauce is also mostly mayo. That's commitment.
posted by rh at 12:16 AM on April 30, 2016 [5 favorites]
posted by rh at 12:16 AM on April 30, 2016 [5 favorites]
Obligatory molecular gastronomy version: the Fried Hollandaise by Wylie Dufresne.
posted by polymodus at 1:17 AM on April 30, 2016 [5 favorites]
posted by polymodus at 1:17 AM on April 30, 2016 [5 favorites]
That is the wrong recipe. Here's my authentic family recipe for fried mayo:
1. Don't.
posted by Zarkonnen at 1:50 AM on April 30, 2016 [9 favorites]
1. Don't.
posted by Zarkonnen at 1:50 AM on April 30, 2016 [9 favorites]
Using mayo as the sauce in which to dip your Mayo seems like it violates some moral norms.
posted by tofu_crouton at 3:06 AM on April 30, 2016 [6 favorites]
posted by tofu_crouton at 3:06 AM on April 30, 2016 [6 favorites]
If the recipe is unclear, be sure and look at the pictures. Interesting site, but sort of bland. They seem to avoid any controversial topics, such as the Hellmans-Best Foods schism, the Miracle Whip Apostasy, or the revelation of Dukes.
posted by TedW at 3:10 AM on April 30, 2016 [7 favorites]
posted by TedW at 3:10 AM on April 30, 2016 [7 favorites]
I'm aghast that they are using mayonnaise from a jar. Do they not know you can easily make your own? Because homemade mayonnaise ... yum.
(A-and it's amusing how they use the "small word" right there in URL, in contravention of the off-white doctrine; must have been possessed with the spirit of mayonnaise at the time.)
posted by chavenet at 3:54 AM on April 30, 2016 [5 favorites]
(A-and it's amusing how they use the "small word" right there in URL, in contravention of the off-white doctrine; must have been possessed with the spirit of mayonnaise at the time.)
posted by chavenet at 3:54 AM on April 30, 2016 [5 favorites]
Can I substitute salad cream and road sweepings for the mayonnaise and breadcrumbs? Asking for a friend.
posted by Joe in Australia at 4:06 AM on April 30, 2016
posted by Joe in Australia at 4:06 AM on April 30, 2016
I'm aghast that they are using mayonnaise from a jar.
I'm not convinced that homemade mayonnaise, lacking the industrial emulsifiers of shop bought mayonnaise, would survive the freezing process.
But that reminds me of a home-made mayonnaise trick I am pretty proud of. If you either want to save a split emulsion, or make a mayonnaise based sauce that doesn't have a noticeable mustard flavour, you can use shop bought mayo in your homemade. Either substitute it for the mustard (same amount) in the mayonnaise recipe, or (if rescuing split) just beat your de-emulsufied mess slowly into a teaspoon or so of shop bought.
You'll never taste the difference, and it's an easier way of rescuing mayonnaise than starting with a new yolk.
posted by howfar at 4:14 AM on April 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
I'm not convinced that homemade mayonnaise, lacking the industrial emulsifiers of shop bought mayonnaise, would survive the freezing process.
But that reminds me of a home-made mayonnaise trick I am pretty proud of. If you either want to save a split emulsion, or make a mayonnaise based sauce that doesn't have a noticeable mustard flavour, you can use shop bought mayo in your homemade. Either substitute it for the mustard (same amount) in the mayonnaise recipe, or (if rescuing split) just beat your de-emulsufied mess slowly into a teaspoon or so of shop bought.
You'll never taste the difference, and it's an easier way of rescuing mayonnaise than starting with a new yolk.
posted by howfar at 4:14 AM on April 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
Deep Fried Kewpie. Only a delicious death will cure a fool.
posted by srboisvert at 5:07 AM on April 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by srboisvert at 5:07 AM on April 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
I love that they suggest dipping your deep-fried mayonnaise in mayonnaise and ketchup.
posted by 256 at 5:41 AM on April 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by 256 at 5:41 AM on April 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
On closer inspection it looks like that site is 10 years old. I wonder why it hasn't shown up here before and what the owner thinks about a site he hasn't done anything with in a decade suddenly getting a bunch of traffic.
posted by TedW at 5:57 AM on April 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by TedW at 5:57 AM on April 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
I'm just glad they've left it up all this time. There's fewer & fewer of these roll-you-own gems out there, anymore.
posted by Devils Rancher at 6:07 AM on April 30, 2016 [3 favorites]
posted by Devils Rancher at 6:07 AM on April 30, 2016 [3 favorites]
No. No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no
posted by .kobayashi. at 6:58 AM on April 30, 2016
posted by .kobayashi. at 6:58 AM on April 30, 2016
Even Paula Deen just went "what"
posted by delfin at 7:16 AM on April 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by delfin at 7:16 AM on April 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
I don't think the woman who deep fried butter is going to balk at this
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 7:23 AM on April 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 7:23 AM on April 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
"But what if we made a recipe using only white or clear foods? Let's see what we got in the fridge right now..."
posted by Aya Hirano on the Astral Plane at 7:29 AM on April 30, 2016
posted by Aya Hirano on the Astral Plane at 7:29 AM on April 30, 2016
Since the core of this deep-fried article is actually pure mayonnaise, this is more legit than more gimmicky things I've encountered like deep-fried cola (which is simply deep fried cola-flavored-batter).
The ultimate conclusion of all deep-fried things would be deep-fried peanut oil.
posted by splitpeasoup at 8:15 AM on April 30, 2016
The ultimate conclusion of all deep-fried things would be deep-fried peanut oil.
posted by splitpeasoup at 8:15 AM on April 30, 2016
May-o!
Ma-a-a-yo.
Deep fried spheres dipped in secret sa-auce!
&tc.
posted by carmicha at 8:15 AM on April 30, 2016 [3 favorites]
Ma-a-a-yo.
Deep fried spheres dipped in secret sa-auce!
&tc.
posted by carmicha at 8:15 AM on April 30, 2016 [3 favorites]
The ultimate conclusion of all deep-fried things would be deep-fried peanut oil.
You could powder it with maltodextrin, then compress, bread, fry.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 8:25 AM on April 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
You could powder it with maltodextrin, then compress, bread, fry.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 8:25 AM on April 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
The ultimate conclusion of all deep-fried things would be deep-fried peanut oil.
Nah, too many legumes. Deep fried bacon grease instead. With butter to dip it in.
posted by TedW at 8:49 AM on April 30, 2016
Nah, too many legumes. Deep fried bacon grease instead. With butter to dip it in.
posted by TedW at 8:49 AM on April 30, 2016
Cowards die many times before their deaths;
The valiant never taste of death but once.
posted by Wallace Shawn at 10:07 AM on April 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
The valiant never taste of death but once.
posted by Wallace Shawn at 10:07 AM on April 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
Mix well, until monochrome is an admirably efficient turn of phrase for a recipe, but oddly ominous. Like calling a steak "mammal flesh" or something.
posted by penduluum at 10:52 AM on April 30, 2016 [7 favorites]
posted by penduluum at 10:52 AM on April 30, 2016 [7 favorites]
This does seem like a pretty flexible recipe (it's basically how you make fried ice cream, right?).
Perhaps more palatable: Deep fried whipped cream
Perhaps less palatable: Deep fried half and half
For the kiddos: Deep fried baby formula
For the jockbros: Deep fried protein shake
For those with actual virgin olive oil, not some adulterated crap: deep fried olive oil and balsamic vinegar
For prime rib night: Deep fried horseradish
posted by Existential Dread at 11:21 AM on April 30, 2016
Perhaps more palatable: Deep fried whipped cream
Perhaps less palatable: Deep fried half and half
For the kiddos: Deep fried baby formula
For the jockbros: Deep fried protein shake
For those with actual virgin olive oil, not some adulterated crap: deep fried olive oil and balsamic vinegar
For prime rib night: Deep fried horseradish
posted by Existential Dread at 11:21 AM on April 30, 2016
Fried horseradish is delicious actually. Shave a horseradish root into very thin strips. Fry at 275F until crispy. Lovely, subtle garnish.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 11:32 AM on April 30, 2016 [3 favorites]
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 11:32 AM on April 30, 2016 [3 favorites]
Sounds good, actually, but: too many carbs.
posted by Namlit at 12:44 PM on April 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by Namlit at 12:44 PM on April 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
So it's not quite fully fried mayonnaise, but you should totally fry a grilled cheese sandwich in mayonnaise. Mayo on the outside instead of butter or oil. So crispy and delicious.
posted by Nelson at 4:43 PM on April 30, 2016 [7 favorites]
posted by Nelson at 4:43 PM on April 30, 2016 [7 favorites]
Re, polymodus's mention of Wylie Dufresne's Molecular Gastronomy version Fried Hollandaise, before Chef Dufresne fried Hollanaise, he made the OG fried mayo with the same method.
I had it years ago during a delightful, giggle-inducing meal of joy at his restaurant WD-50. It was golden, dice-sized cubes served with velvety ribbons of beef tongue cured like pastrami and crunchy powders made of rye bread and romaine lettuce.
Molecular Gastronomy was still an adolescent then and quite show-offy. The techniques have gotten more subtle and sophisticated in the intervening years, but I rather miss those culinary days; meals were so fun and strange. That dinner at WD-50 was the first time I ever laughed out loud in a fancy restaurant. I think about that ridiculously delicious beef tongue pastrami and deep-fried mayonnaise cubes every time I at a boring deli sandwich.
posted by mostlymartha at 2:06 AM on May 1, 2016 [3 favorites]
I had it years ago during a delightful, giggle-inducing meal of joy at his restaurant WD-50. It was golden, dice-sized cubes served with velvety ribbons of beef tongue cured like pastrami and crunchy powders made of rye bread and romaine lettuce.
Molecular Gastronomy was still an adolescent then and quite show-offy. The techniques have gotten more subtle and sophisticated in the intervening years, but I rather miss those culinary days; meals were so fun and strange. That dinner at WD-50 was the first time I ever laughed out loud in a fancy restaurant. I think about that ridiculously delicious beef tongue pastrami and deep-fried mayonnaise cubes every time I at a boring deli sandwich.
posted by mostlymartha at 2:06 AM on May 1, 2016 [3 favorites]
The ultimate conclusion of all deep-fried things would be deep-fried peanut oil.
You could powder it with maltodextrin, then compress, bread, fry.
Note to self: carefully examine fffm's falafels or hushpuppies; politely decline if uncertain.
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 10:16 AM on May 1, 2016 [1 favorite]
You could powder it with maltodextrin, then compress, bread, fry.
Note to self: carefully examine fffm's falafels or hushpuppies; politely decline if uncertain.
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 10:16 AM on May 1, 2016 [1 favorite]
So it's an unseasoned, really fatty plain fritter?
Just like how "fried beer" and "fried kool-aid" were just cake donuts that substituted milk.
posted by mccarty.tim at 10:44 AM on May 1, 2016
Just like how "fried beer" and "fried kool-aid" were just cake donuts that substituted milk.
posted by mccarty.tim at 10:44 AM on May 1, 2016
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posted by subbes at 9:21 PM on April 29, 2016 [1 favorite]