In Defense of Voodoo Doughnut
May 30, 2016 8:24 AM Subscribe
Protip: the best donuts at Voodoo are the vegan ones.
posted by Lutoslawski at 8:40 AM on May 30, 2016 [3 favorites]
posted by Lutoslawski at 8:40 AM on May 30, 2016 [3 favorites]
Nothing will ever taste better to me than the butternut donut at Dunkin', because that was the donuts that my dad took me for on the weekends when I was little. Even though it's considered crass to live in New York and favor Dunkin' Donuts, that's what I do. Donuts aren't all the same. Many come with memories. Like all food.
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 8:42 AM on May 30, 2016 [23 favorites]
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 8:42 AM on May 30, 2016 [23 favorites]
> Stop acting like your recipes were acquired from a thick-accented grandmother on her deathbed who devoted her life to crafting the perfect donut, as though she smuggled notes out from a war-torn dictatorship, coming to this country with no money, only dreams that one day a donut shop serving her creations would open on a recently gentrified street.
But (and I mean this in all honesty), that is *the pitch* for places like this (my Toronto neighbourhood is chock full of Places Like This). You can get a donut at Tim Horton's, but at Fancy Donut Place you can get a donut properly befitting of your Places Like This lifestyle.
posted by The Card Cheat at 8:53 AM on May 30, 2016 [5 favorites]
But (and I mean this in all honesty), that is *the pitch* for places like this (my Toronto neighbourhood is chock full of Places Like This). You can get a donut at Tim Horton's, but at Fancy Donut Place you can get a donut properly befitting of your Places Like This lifestyle.
posted by The Card Cheat at 8:53 AM on May 30, 2016 [5 favorites]
"This is great, isn’t it? Please don’t move here.”
posted by monotreme at 8:54 AM on May 30, 2016 [17 favorites]
posted by monotreme at 8:54 AM on May 30, 2016 [17 favorites]
Protip: the best donuts at Voodoo are the vegan ones.
We already have Donut Friend, the best donut shop in all the land, vegan or otherwise. And nobody else names their donuts after punk and indie bands (as befits a shop opened by the drummer for Drive Like Jehu). Husker Blu! Banana Kill! Coconut of Conformity!
posted by mykescipark at 8:55 AM on May 30, 2016 [5 favorites]
We already have Donut Friend, the best donut shop in all the land, vegan or otherwise. And nobody else names their donuts after punk and indie bands (as befits a shop opened by the drummer for Drive Like Jehu). Husker Blu! Banana Kill! Coconut of Conformity!
posted by mykescipark at 8:55 AM on May 30, 2016 [5 favorites]
Voodoo sponsors multiple indie wrestling promotions on the West Coast, which is all the justification I need to love them.
posted by Etrigan at 8:55 AM on May 30, 2016 [3 favorites]
posted by Etrigan at 8:55 AM on May 30, 2016 [3 favorites]
Everytime I'm in Portland, there are two musts: a trip to Voodoo Doughnuts, and a trip to Powell's books.
I sympathize with the locals though, because I try to flee my city during our annual tourist fest.
posted by nubs at 8:57 AM on May 30, 2016 [4 favorites]
I sympathize with the locals though, because I try to flee my city during our annual tourist fest.
posted by nubs at 8:57 AM on May 30, 2016 [4 favorites]
Frankly, this FPP has just made me wish I had donuts and lots of them.
posted by Kitteh at 9:06 AM on May 30, 2016 [13 favorites]
posted by Kitteh at 9:06 AM on May 30, 2016 [13 favorites]
The Space Needle is rad!
posted by Stonestock Relentless at 9:12 AM on May 30, 2016 [5 favorites]
posted by Stonestock Relentless at 9:12 AM on May 30, 2016 [5 favorites]
You know, if I ever get to Portland, I am going to try both, because frankly here in the Twin Cities Metro Area, the best donuts come from Cub. I am not kidding, and it makes me cry. Except for the little cake donuts in two flavors from Mellowglaze and Baker's Wife, you cannot get a good donut shop donut in this town. It is a crying shame. We have "artisanal" donut shops, yeah, sure - if you happen to like donuts that are fried in insufficiently hot oil and are greasy and leaden, plus being the size of a goddamn softball. My feeling about donut shops is this: first prove that you can do a good, simple yeasted glazed donut, a decent cruller and a decent cake donut, and only then try all this chai-caramel-black pepper garbage. If you can't do the basics, you are just putting artisanal pomelo sprinkles on top of a piece of fried grease.
So my point is, I have no real reason to believe that Blue Star is necessarily better than Voodoo, because lo, I have been to the hyped donut spots around here and they are pretty sad. I personally have made donuts in a Fry Daddy that were better than the artisanal ones you can get here, and that should not be - the whole thing of a donut shop is that mass production and repetition should give you a superior product.
The best donuts?
1. Local Chicago-area donut shop when I was little. They had a donut on a stick that came with a dangerous sharpened dowel thrust through it, but the donuts were also tasty.
2. Cream-filled home-made donut at old-fashioned campus cafe back in the nineties - that donut, like the malts and the fries, was probably made according to a recipe that dated back to the immediate post-war period when the cafe was built.
3. Little apricot-filled jelly donuts at this German place in the far north-east corner of Beijing, 2001. It was seven miles by bike up the ring-road to get there, but so worth it.
5. Mysterious buttermilk donut at a Vietnamese place in SF before gentrification. Man, that was a good donut.
Not one of these donuts is from here.
posted by Frowner at 9:13 AM on May 30, 2016 [15 favorites]
So my point is, I have no real reason to believe that Blue Star is necessarily better than Voodoo, because lo, I have been to the hyped donut spots around here and they are pretty sad. I personally have made donuts in a Fry Daddy that were better than the artisanal ones you can get here, and that should not be - the whole thing of a donut shop is that mass production and repetition should give you a superior product.
The best donuts?
1. Local Chicago-area donut shop when I was little. They had a donut on a stick that came with a dangerous sharpened dowel thrust through it, but the donuts were also tasty.
2. Cream-filled home-made donut at old-fashioned campus cafe back in the nineties - that donut, like the malts and the fries, was probably made according to a recipe that dated back to the immediate post-war period when the cafe was built.
3. Little apricot-filled jelly donuts at this German place in the far north-east corner of Beijing, 2001. It was seven miles by bike up the ring-road to get there, but so worth it.
5. Mysterious buttermilk donut at a Vietnamese place in SF before gentrification. Man, that was a good donut.
Not one of these donuts is from here.
posted by Frowner at 9:13 AM on May 30, 2016 [15 favorites]
But sometime around 2012, the pendulum swung too far, and now Voodoo Doughnut has joined the MAC Club, McMenamins, and the LA Lakers as target practice for the city’s disdain.
You shut the hell up. McMenamins is awesome.
posted by belarius at 9:15 AM on May 30, 2016 [11 favorites]
You shut the hell up. McMenamins is awesome.
posted by belarius at 9:15 AM on May 30, 2016 [11 favorites]
This thread has really made me reflect - the Twin Cities has some really great food, but our baked goods are pretty meh. The best ones are the rustic/robust/simple ones - A Baker's Wife has some great bars and pastries, but they are big old Midwestern things, not refined at all. They're made with good quality, tasty ingredients and they have a wholesome quality (you should totally stop by if in the area) but we just don't have a great bakery for delicate stuff in general. And donuts, for such a universal item, actually need a light touch.
posted by Frowner at 9:27 AM on May 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by Frowner at 9:27 AM on May 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
What is civic pride if not the ability to look out-of-towners directly in the eye and say “you should buy this stupid bullshit.”
This is something you have to come to accept about any big town, really. A good chunk of the NYC economy is hustling suckers to do pointless dumb stuff like buy cupcakes. We need the revenues!
posted by praemunire at 9:34 AM on May 30, 2016 [4 favorites]
This is something you have to come to accept about any big town, really. A good chunk of the NYC economy is hustling suckers to do pointless dumb stuff like buy cupcakes. We need the revenues!
posted by praemunire at 9:34 AM on May 30, 2016 [4 favorites]
If you can't do the basics, you are just putting artisanal pomelo sprinkles on top of a piece of fried grease.
Indeed, the test of a donut shop is the plain cake donut. If the plain cake donut is seriously a contender when you look at the display because it's just so tasty and perfect, you're probably safe to try the fancier ones. When I bring boxes in to work, I put a bunch of plain cakes in there. They go first.
Mefite Travel tip: In Tacoma, it's Pao's. (cash only, closes at 2)
posted by ctmf at 9:41 AM on May 30, 2016 [4 favorites]
Indeed, the test of a donut shop is the plain cake donut. If the plain cake donut is seriously a contender when you look at the display because it's just so tasty and perfect, you're probably safe to try the fancier ones. When I bring boxes in to work, I put a bunch of plain cakes in there. They go first.
Mefite Travel tip: In Tacoma, it's Pao's. (cash only, closes at 2)
posted by ctmf at 9:41 AM on May 30, 2016 [4 favorites]
*looks at Space Needle souvenier mug full of hard root beer on desk*
*cries*
posted by jonmc at 9:41 AM on May 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
*cries*
posted by jonmc at 9:41 AM on May 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
Jeeze, obsessing about donuts much lately, Metafilter?
Okay, damn. I'm gonna go get some damn donuts. I can't take it anymore. You broke me.
Here in Olympia we have multiple local donut shops. I myself am a fan of Twister Donuts. (Mostly because its three blocks away.)
I am mostly just glad that other than being the state capitol, we don't really have much tourist trappy shit around here.
Now, off to get some donuts, you right bastards.
posted by deadaluspark at 9:44 AM on May 30, 2016
Okay, damn. I'm gonna go get some damn donuts. I can't take it anymore. You broke me.
Here in Olympia we have multiple local donut shops. I myself am a fan of Twister Donuts. (Mostly because its three blocks away.)
I am mostly just glad that other than being the state capitol, we don't really have much tourist trappy shit around here.
Now, off to get some donuts, you right bastards.
posted by deadaluspark at 9:44 AM on May 30, 2016
Last time I was in PDX, it was late at night and we were all thoroughly sauced, so naturally I was like, "Let's go to voodoo!" Which was met with a chorus of derision by my PDX-dwelling friends, "Voodoo is not even that great, you want to go to X, Y, or Z!" To which I was like, "Okay, but are any of those places open?" ... crickets .... So hell yeah we went to Voodoo and it was fucking rad! Who cares if it was touristy? It was good. And so bad. But so good.
posted by panama joe at 9:46 AM on May 30, 2016 [15 favorites]
posted by panama joe at 9:46 AM on May 30, 2016 [15 favorites]
I work maybe five blocks away from the Voodoo in Oldtown. A coworker of mine once went on a savage rant about how Vooodoo donuts were the very worst, most garbage donuts of all and really shouldn't we all be grateful they were luring people away from the good donuts. I realized she was experiencing Voodoo as a tourist thing, while to me it was this place I'd just been quietly going during a pretty slow part of the morning where I could walk right up to the counter, collect my custard-filled with chocolate icing, and sit out on a picnic table reading the news before walking back to the office to start the day.
My boss had a similar fit of apoplexy when he spotted my Voodoo bag the day I decided to bring my donut back and eat it at my desk, so I learned to hold the logo side in close against my leg.
Portland locals can never embrace Voodoo because our biggest actual selling point to tourists is our earnest authenticity, our willingness to call average donuts that are generally a cut above grocery store donuts only with dumb names "the worst garbage donuts ever," and our eagerness to call each other out for not walking a mile to get a better donut.
Without Voodoo we can't establish that to anyone's satisfaction: We're just another place with a few good donut places, a few bad ones, and a population that apparently still buys out the donut case at Fred Meyer on Foster Road, then decimates the boxed donuts on the shelf under the Little Debbie products pretty much daily, all over the city.
posted by mph at 9:49 AM on May 30, 2016 [14 favorites]
My boss had a similar fit of apoplexy when he spotted my Voodoo bag the day I decided to bring my donut back and eat it at my desk, so I learned to hold the logo side in close against my leg.
Portland locals can never embrace Voodoo because our biggest actual selling point to tourists is our earnest authenticity, our willingness to call average donuts that are generally a cut above grocery store donuts only with dumb names "the worst garbage donuts ever," and our eagerness to call each other out for not walking a mile to get a better donut.
Without Voodoo we can't establish that to anyone's satisfaction: We're just another place with a few good donut places, a few bad ones, and a population that apparently still buys out the donut case at Fred Meyer on Foster Road, then decimates the boxed donuts on the shelf under the Little Debbie products pretty much daily, all over the city.
posted by mph at 9:49 AM on May 30, 2016 [14 favorites]
Protip: there's a second Voodoo donuts on the east side that has no lines. Ditto Blue Star.
posted by jeffamaphone at 9:54 AM on May 30, 2016 [5 favorites]
posted by jeffamaphone at 9:54 AM on May 30, 2016 [5 favorites]
"You think Seattle people actually like the Space Needle? Hell no. It looks like a giant alien dick."The author may be underestimating the degree to which people like giant alien dicks.
posted by octobersurprise at 10:00 AM on May 30, 2016 [25 favorites]
McMenamins is awesome.
McMenamins facilities are awesome. Their food and beer are so dependably mediocre-to-terrible that I'm always astounded whenever I break down and order anything. (Hello, Kennedy School post-pool tater tots.) Everything is a perfect-3-out-of-10 scale every single time. Never varies.
posted by gottabefunky at 10:03 AM on May 30, 2016 [21 favorites]
McMenamins facilities are awesome. Their food and beer are so dependably mediocre-to-terrible that I'm always astounded whenever I break down and order anything. (Hello, Kennedy School post-pool tater tots.) Everything is a perfect-3-out-of-10 scale every single time. Never varies.
posted by gottabefunky at 10:03 AM on May 30, 2016 [21 favorites]
I'm pretty positive most Seattleites don't have much of an opinion on the Space Needle. Otoh, if you ask about Gehry's EMP building ...
posted by P.o.B. at 10:05 AM on May 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by P.o.B. at 10:05 AM on May 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
I like giant alien... uh, the Space Needle. I think we should build two more right next to it at varying overlapping heights, like a little Jetson village.
posted by ctmf at 10:08 AM on May 30, 2016 [8 favorites]
posted by ctmf at 10:08 AM on May 30, 2016 [8 favorites]
I tried to go to Blue Star when I was in Portland for an awesome librarians' conference (Powell's was a zoo) but it was never open when I needed it to be. I never made it to Voodoo either but that's because I ate so much other good food that I never cared enough. Portland, your food is awesome and I promise I don't want to move there.
Also, the iconic Seattle tourist-herding spot isn't the Space Needle but Pike's Place Market. Chicago, I'm kinda torn between the Bean and Sears Tower. Vegas has the whole Strip. LA isn't (just) Pink's but also the Hollywood sign. Oooh, this is fun.
posted by librarylis at 10:09 AM on May 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
Also, the iconic Seattle tourist-herding spot isn't the Space Needle but Pike's Place Market. Chicago, I'm kinda torn between the Bean and Sears Tower. Vegas has the whole Strip. LA isn't (just) Pink's but also the Hollywood sign. Oooh, this is fun.
posted by librarylis at 10:09 AM on May 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
Another reason to look down on Portland. The Space Needle has already cycled through "stupid tourist trap" to "kitschy cool" to most Seattlites thinking it's actually cool, because well, it's all three really. Portland, you'll always be the PNW's third city (watch out, Boise's coming up strong!). Your hipsters will return to Voodoo, don't worry. Call us when you can take a monorail to a 600 foot Space Tower of the Future.
Also, Timbers suck.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 10:13 AM on May 30, 2016 [11 favorites]
Also, Timbers suck.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 10:13 AM on May 30, 2016 [11 favorites]
I remember when Voodoo first opened, when all they were was a magical hole in the wall where you could buy fresh donuts at 1am. Back then, I saw Joanna Newsom for $10 at Berbati's Pan next door, and you bet your ass I had a Voodoo donut afterwards, because there was no fancy pizza window, or late night poutine, or piping hot Cubanos.
Last month, I saw Joanna Newsom for $50 at the Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall. Berbati's Pan closed in 2010, and Voodoo moved into the space, filling it with pink swag and custom stained glass featuring important figures in their personal donut history.
Now I bring Delicious Donuts to work, because they have an apple fritter that will ruin you for all other apple fritters. I go to Blue Star every now and then if I'm in the mood or in the neighborhood, or if I want to shock my mom by paying $3 for a donut. I go up to Pips when I want something truly special (and also during my birthday week, when I get a dozen free piping fresh mini donuts). And yes, every now and then, I dutifully stand in line with a friend from out of town, purchase an Old Dirty Bastard (R.I.P) and a small carton of milk, and I enjoy my goddamn Voodoo Donut.
posted by redsparkler at 10:22 AM on May 30, 2016 [4 favorites]
Last month, I saw Joanna Newsom for $50 at the Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall. Berbati's Pan closed in 2010, and Voodoo moved into the space, filling it with pink swag and custom stained glass featuring important figures in their personal donut history.
Now I bring Delicious Donuts to work, because they have an apple fritter that will ruin you for all other apple fritters. I go to Blue Star every now and then if I'm in the mood or in the neighborhood, or if I want to shock my mom by paying $3 for a donut. I go up to Pips when I want something truly special (and also during my birthday week, when I get a dozen free piping fresh mini donuts). And yes, every now and then, I dutifully stand in line with a friend from out of town, purchase an Old Dirty Bastard (R.I.P) and a small carton of milk, and I enjoy my goddamn Voodoo Donut.
posted by redsparkler at 10:22 AM on May 30, 2016 [4 favorites]
The Space Needle is cool but it's not 22 freaking dollars cool.
posted by saul wright at 10:25 AM on May 30, 2016 [5 favorites]
posted by saul wright at 10:25 AM on May 30, 2016 [5 favorites]
LA isn't (just) Pink's but also the Hollywood sign.
I think you meant to say Canter's.
posted by mykescipark at 10:26 AM on May 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
I think you meant to say Canter's.
posted by mykescipark at 10:26 AM on May 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
And Seattle, let me know when you have a donut shop that rivals ANY of the ones I just mentioned, including Voodoo.
posted by redsparkler at 10:26 AM on May 30, 2016
posted by redsparkler at 10:26 AM on May 30, 2016
Top Pot makes much better donuts than Voodoo, here in Seattle. For one, they aren't stale. I don't think I have been to Voodoo once, without getting at least one stale ring in the bunch.
posted by a lungful of dragon at 10:32 AM on May 30, 2016 [6 favorites]
posted by a lungful of dragon at 10:32 AM on May 30, 2016 [6 favorites]
I've had Top Pot donuts, and they were fine, but boring. Voodoo can miss the mark, but they will never be boring.
posted by redsparkler at 10:35 AM on May 30, 2016
posted by redsparkler at 10:35 AM on May 30, 2016
And Seattle, let me know when you have a donut shop that rivals ANY of the ones I just mentioned, including Voodoo.
Rodeo.
posted by gurple at 10:44 AM on May 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
Rodeo.
posted by gurple at 10:44 AM on May 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
frankly here in the Twin Cities Metro Area, the best donuts come from Cub.
Grandma's Bakery in White Bear Lake, or is that not sufficiently metro? Admittedly they're not exactly artisanal either, but who cares.
Granny Donuts in West St. Paul used to be pretty adequate, but I haven't had a donut from there in a while.
posted by Electric Elf at 10:54 AM on May 30, 2016
Grandma's Bakery in White Bear Lake, or is that not sufficiently metro? Admittedly they're not exactly artisanal either, but who cares.
Granny Donuts in West St. Paul used to be pretty adequate, but I haven't had a donut from there in a while.
posted by Electric Elf at 10:54 AM on May 30, 2016
I don't know from donuts, because I don't eat them often and am not picky.
But no one slanders my giant alien ... anyway, Seattleites love the Space Needle. We don't much like the food, or the trip to the top, but it is OURS, dammit, and it's a lot easier to dress up for New Years, Superbowls and everything else than anything significant in Portland.
posted by lhauser at 11:00 AM on May 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
But no one slanders my giant alien ... anyway, Seattleites love the Space Needle. We don't much like the food, or the trip to the top, but it is OURS, dammit, and it's a lot easier to dress up for New Years, Superbowls and everything else than anything significant in Portland.
posted by lhauser at 11:00 AM on May 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
Why do you hate fun?
posted by caddis at 11:03 AM on May 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by caddis at 11:03 AM on May 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
If you haven't tried Mighty O Donuts in Seattle, your life so far is a hollow joke.
posted by zippy at 11:05 AM on May 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by zippy at 11:05 AM on May 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
No, vegan donuts are a hollow joke.
posted by redsparkler at 11:06 AM on May 30, 2016 [6 favorites]
posted by redsparkler at 11:06 AM on May 30, 2016 [6 favorites]
I'M SORRY IT'S MONDAY AND I'M NOSTALGIC AND ARGUING ABOUT DONUTS ON THE INTERNET
posted by redsparkler at 11:06 AM on May 30, 2016
posted by redsparkler at 11:06 AM on May 30, 2016
I APOLOGIZE TO ALL MY VEGAN FRIENDS
posted by redsparkler at 11:07 AM on May 30, 2016
posted by redsparkler at 11:07 AM on May 30, 2016
I've never been to any of these doughnut places and am rarely in Portland or Seattle. Yet I knew somehow that this Memorial Day demanded a doughnut post. You're welcome.
posted by Bella Donna at 11:16 AM on May 30, 2016
posted by Bella Donna at 11:16 AM on May 30, 2016
I dig it. I'very never been there, but the sterilized one sized fits all decor that has propagated through every major city is a force of evil. It is the starbuckifying of niche coffee but this time in a dusting of powdered sugar. It is the chorus of voices in The Life of Brian saying that their all individuals. It is the difference in decor from choosing to die in a hospital instead of at home.
And so the search for authenticity and individuality in our doughnuts in and of itself has become commercialized, just like the sex pistols. No matter how much voodoo loves or hates it's own position feeding tourists instead of locals, no matter if they make a doughnut so hipster it has a fixed wheel... well no matter any of the bollux, this is a doughnut shop that has become regionally culturally significant... and really, what more exemplifies the northwest coast than two locals who moved to the town they now call home, and riding up to a different doughnut shop in their fixes because the sound business model of running a doughnut shop would work in almost no other place in the US - and their bitching about it being too trendy.
posted by Nanukthedog at 11:21 AM on May 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
And so the search for authenticity and individuality in our doughnuts in and of itself has become commercialized, just like the sex pistols. No matter how much voodoo loves or hates it's own position feeding tourists instead of locals, no matter if they make a doughnut so hipster it has a fixed wheel... well no matter any of the bollux, this is a doughnut shop that has become regionally culturally significant... and really, what more exemplifies the northwest coast than two locals who moved to the town they now call home, and riding up to a different doughnut shop in their fixes because the sound business model of running a doughnut shop would work in almost no other place in the US - and their bitching about it being too trendy.
posted by Nanukthedog at 11:21 AM on May 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
The best donut, as with the best fries, and basically ALL fried things is one straight out of the frier. That's how they used to sell them at fairs and the seaside (still do, I expect), and they're SO much better I don't really understand why fresh-fried donuts haven't become a hipstery donut place selling point. I think a donut place that angrily refused to sell anything other than fresh-fried, sugared-only plain donut at an outrageous markup would likely do quite well - there seems to be an inflection point with choice and customer service where offering none, and none, respectively, seems to do just as well as lots, and lots.
posted by Jon Mitchell at 11:21 AM on May 30, 2016 [7 favorites]
posted by Jon Mitchell at 11:21 AM on May 30, 2016 [7 favorites]
Grandma's Bakery in White Bear Lake, or is that not sufficiently metro?
Not, to me, classically metro, but I'd go a long way for a real donut at this point.
The thing of vegan donuts? Artisanal vegan donuts are just as good as the standard huge, chewy, greasy, coated-with-lavender-chai-reduction non-vegan artisanal donuts.
posted by Frowner at 11:23 AM on May 30, 2016
Not, to me, classically metro, but I'd go a long way for a real donut at this point.
The thing of vegan donuts? Artisanal vegan donuts are just as good as the standard huge, chewy, greasy, coated-with-lavender-chai-reduction non-vegan artisanal donuts.
posted by Frowner at 11:23 AM on May 30, 2016
Voodoo, along with some of the other better known Portland brands that came up in that time, like Stumptown and New Seasons are perfect emblems of the city, for better and worse. Portland is turning into an actual capital-C City, and it isn't doing it very gracefully; there are some serious growing pains, and the things that gave the city its character and made the city an absolute joy to live in are deteriorating. The brands that came up during the last 15 years are experiencing the same thing. Stumptown sells to a VC firm (a couple times over). New Seasons does the same and employees have to have meetings with "The Bobs" to reinterview with their jobs. Voodoo heads to LA, Japan and Taiwan. They all started out as the local underdog and made it big.
Growing up here, I never felt as though Portland's identity wasn't wrapped up in it's size, or historicalness, or weather (okay, well, weather a bit)...it was that the city was fiercely independent. It really felt as though the city had been overlooked by so many companies and brands that we kind of had to roll our own, and we were really protective of those businesses which helped them grow. There were actual discussions at one of those companies about the decision to expand to other cities, or to have a company-wide minimum wage of $40k a year. These are companies that actually have discussions like this.
I've got a lot of mixed emotions around Portland and the exportation of its culture and brands. I mean, on one hand it's really fucking cool that there are Stumptown coffees all over the country, and soon to be a ton of Voodoo's all over the world. No one really gave PDX a glance in the 80's and 90's, there was much more focus on other west coast cities. I think it's pretty rad that people want to come here and check out our city and all the things that make it awesome. I'm really bummed that people feel the need to stay here, and grow the city, and irreparably break some of the things that made the city great to begin with. Boomtown is a hard town, apparently?
BTW, If you want some reasonably priced donuts, without an insane line or nearly as much hype I highly recommend Coco Donuts for yeast, Delicious Donuts for cake, and out of my garage (old fashioned cake donuts only with lots of rye. rosemary-sugar dusting). The recipe wasn't passed down to me by my grandparents or anything, but its very much my own and a labor of love, based off of a bunch of early 1900's old fashioned recipes. Donuts are fucking awesome no matter where you get them.
posted by furnace.heart at 11:35 AM on May 30, 2016 [16 favorites]
Growing up here, I never felt as though Portland's identity wasn't wrapped up in it's size, or historicalness, or weather (okay, well, weather a bit)...it was that the city was fiercely independent. It really felt as though the city had been overlooked by so many companies and brands that we kind of had to roll our own, and we were really protective of those businesses which helped them grow. There were actual discussions at one of those companies about the decision to expand to other cities, or to have a company-wide minimum wage of $40k a year. These are companies that actually have discussions like this.
I've got a lot of mixed emotions around Portland and the exportation of its culture and brands. I mean, on one hand it's really fucking cool that there are Stumptown coffees all over the country, and soon to be a ton of Voodoo's all over the world. No one really gave PDX a glance in the 80's and 90's, there was much more focus on other west coast cities. I think it's pretty rad that people want to come here and check out our city and all the things that make it awesome. I'm really bummed that people feel the need to stay here, and grow the city, and irreparably break some of the things that made the city great to begin with. Boomtown is a hard town, apparently?
BTW, If you want some reasonably priced donuts, without an insane line or nearly as much hype I highly recommend Coco Donuts for yeast, Delicious Donuts for cake, and out of my garage (old fashioned cake donuts only with lots of rye. rosemary-sugar dusting). The recipe wasn't passed down to me by my grandparents or anything, but its very much my own and a labor of love, based off of a bunch of early 1900's old fashioned recipes. Donuts are fucking awesome no matter where you get them.
posted by furnace.heart at 11:35 AM on May 30, 2016 [16 favorites]
Jump the shark much? How you know the whole hipster thing has gone all ouroboros: The dudes (I suspect) in Seattle and Portland turn the thread into a dull, off-topic, ill-aimed zingerfest. Over donuts and space alien dicks.
Portland. I live in Seattle. I love your beer, Powell's and Darlington Nagbe. And I love me some space alien dick, you even get to speed to the tip in a urethra-like tube. Awesome!
posted by kidkilowatt at 11:35 AM on May 30, 2016
Portland. I live in Seattle. I love your beer, Powell's and Darlington Nagbe. And I love me some space alien dick, you even get to speed to the tip in a urethra-like tube. Awesome!
posted by kidkilowatt at 11:35 AM on May 30, 2016
If you haven't tried Mighty O Donuts in Seattle, your life so far is a hollow joke.
The problem is that they drench their dry donuts in glaze or sugar, to try to offset the desert within. They get points for effort, though.
posted by a lungful of dragon at 11:42 AM on May 30, 2016
The problem is that they drench their dry donuts in glaze or sugar, to try to offset the desert within. They get points for effort, though.
posted by a lungful of dragon at 11:42 AM on May 30, 2016
It makes sense that Voodoo is a tourist trap, and it doesn't matter that their donuts are stale because they aren't selling quality donuts, they're selling quirky donuts. Ones that looks like a penis or have fruit loops on them. That's the appeal. You can't get a penis donut at Blue Star (which is overpriced and not very good).
My personal "you gotta go to this place instead" is Rocking Frog Cafe on 25th & Belmont. $1 each and they're straight out of the fryer.
posted by gucci mane at 11:42 AM on May 30, 2016 [4 favorites]
My personal "you gotta go to this place instead" is Rocking Frog Cafe on 25th & Belmont. $1 each and they're straight out of the fryer.
posted by gucci mane at 11:42 AM on May 30, 2016 [4 favorites]
Frowner: I think Baker's Wife cake doughnuts are transcendent.
But you're right, all of the "amazing" doughnut places I've been told to try here are mostly disappointing. Sometimes there are standouts—like Glam Doll's Night Moves with blackberry jam and Hennessy icing—but most of the rest just aren't memorable. They all seem to bank on colored icing and "funky" toppings, but the actual dough itself is an afterthought. It's really strange to me since the food scene here is pretty amazing.
Dunkin' remains better than almost all of the places I've tried, so I'm excited they are starting to expand back into the metro.
posted by karlshea at 11:44 AM on May 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
But you're right, all of the "amazing" doughnut places I've been told to try here are mostly disappointing. Sometimes there are standouts—like Glam Doll's Night Moves with blackberry jam and Hennessy icing—but most of the rest just aren't memorable. They all seem to bank on colored icing and "funky" toppings, but the actual dough itself is an afterthought. It's really strange to me since the food scene here is pretty amazing.
Dunkin' remains better than almost all of the places I've tried, so I'm excited they are starting to expand back into the metro.
posted by karlshea at 11:44 AM on May 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
Dunkin' is where I first experienced the joys of a chocolate glazed donut with lemon jelly filling, and although they've left the Portland area since then, they've never left my heart, and that flavor profile remains one of my favorites.
posted by redsparkler at 11:51 AM on May 30, 2016
posted by redsparkler at 11:51 AM on May 30, 2016
there seems to be an inflection point with choice and customer service where offering none, and none, respectively, seems to do just as well as lots, and lots.
I'm with you, Jon Mitchell. I'd totally try a restaurant that had no menu. Just "dinner", you get what you get, and it's f'ing good. Probably wouldn't be fantastic for people with dietary restrictions, though.
posted by ctmf at 12:02 PM on May 30, 2016
I'm with you, Jon Mitchell. I'd totally try a restaurant that had no menu. Just "dinner", you get what you get, and it's f'ing good. Probably wouldn't be fantastic for people with dietary restrictions, though.
posted by ctmf at 12:02 PM on May 30, 2016
ctmf: " If you can't do the basics, you are just putting artisanal pomelo sprinkles on top of a piece of fried grease.
Indeed, the test of a donut shop is the plain cake donut. If the plain cake donut is seriously a contender when you look at the display because it's just so tasty and perfect, you're probably safe to try the fancier ones. When I bring boxes in to work, I put a bunch of plain cakes in there. They go first.
Mefite Travel tip: In Tacoma, it's Pao's. (cash only, closes at 2)"
I used to work in a donut shop. By and large the only things I eat any more are plain cake/chocolate plain cake, danish, or filled (lemon or Bavarian cream).
Anything else pretty much makes me go "meh,"
posted by Samizdata at 12:09 PM on May 30, 2016
Indeed, the test of a donut shop is the plain cake donut. If the plain cake donut is seriously a contender when you look at the display because it's just so tasty and perfect, you're probably safe to try the fancier ones. When I bring boxes in to work, I put a bunch of plain cakes in there. They go first.
Mefite Travel tip: In Tacoma, it's Pao's. (cash only, closes at 2)"
I used to work in a donut shop. By and large the only things I eat any more are plain cake/chocolate plain cake, danish, or filled (lemon or Bavarian cream).
Anything else pretty much makes me go "meh,"
posted by Samizdata at 12:09 PM on May 30, 2016
As someone living in Seattle but originally from New Jersey, I accept my probable crucifixion:
I would gut a hobo with a plastic knife sometimes for a Dunkin' Donuts Chocolate Glazed, or a chocolate cream filled.
posted by mephron at 12:10 PM on May 30, 2016 [3 favorites]
I would gut a hobo with a plastic knife sometimes for a Dunkin' Donuts Chocolate Glazed, or a chocolate cream filled.
posted by mephron at 12:10 PM on May 30, 2016 [3 favorites]
On the east coast we have Duck Donuts, which is based around what a lot of people have said is the right way to do it.
Solid, tasty cake donut recipe, cooked fresh to order. Limited topping selections but you can pick what combo you want.
posted by brilliantine at 12:11 PM on May 30, 2016
Solid, tasty cake donut recipe, cooked fresh to order. Limited topping selections but you can pick what combo you want.
posted by brilliantine at 12:11 PM on May 30, 2016
I think a donut place that angrily refused to sell anything other than fresh-fried, sugared-only plain donut at an outrageous markup would likely do quite well
They're not angry (I basically consider them a donut cult in the best possible meaning of the phrase), but Pip's Original has definitely built their reputation on a limited menu and piping hot donuts. I would never ever consider picking up their donuts for a to-go order, because you just don't mess with perfection.
posted by redsparkler at 12:16 PM on May 30, 2016 [4 favorites]
They're not angry (I basically consider them a donut cult in the best possible meaning of the phrase), but Pip's Original has definitely built their reputation on a limited menu and piping hot donuts. I would never ever consider picking up their donuts for a to-go order, because you just don't mess with perfection.
posted by redsparkler at 12:16 PM on May 30, 2016 [4 favorites]
I was a bridesmaid at a friend's wedding in Portland a few years back, and the weekend was so packed that we didn't see anything that wasn't directly related to the wedding (though the Catholic church and the reception hall overlooking the Columbia were beautiful). When I was going through security at the airport, the guy in front of me had a box of Voodoo Doughnuts, asked if I had ever had them, and gave me a maple walnut donut when I said I had not! It was the best reward for getting through security I've had in a while! Also, he was cute. So I say onwards, Voodoo Donuts!
posted by ChuraChura at 12:20 PM on May 30, 2016 [3 favorites]
posted by ChuraChura at 12:20 PM on May 30, 2016 [3 favorites]
1. Bucket of day-old donuts for $5 makes me still pretty happy with Voodoo.
2. The bacon maple bar is delicious, and I still miss their collaboration with Rogue Brewing, the bacon maple ale. Such a good breakfast beer.
3. The best donuts in town are in St Johns, at Tulip. They also make wedding cakes. Take the #75 bus.
posted by ivan ivanych samovar at 12:31 PM on May 30, 2016 [3 favorites]
2. The bacon maple bar is delicious, and I still miss their collaboration with Rogue Brewing, the bacon maple ale. Such a good breakfast beer.
3. The best donuts in town are in St Johns, at Tulip. They also make wedding cakes. Take the #75 bus.
posted by ivan ivanych samovar at 12:31 PM on May 30, 2016 [3 favorites]
Here in Edmonton, Canada, the best donuts are not to be had at Tim Horton's.
posted by reiichiroh at 12:44 PM on May 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by reiichiroh at 12:44 PM on May 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
Maryland's resident quirky doughnut vendor is Fractured Prune. Plain cake only, with a variety of glazes and dry toppings.
posted by Faint of Butt at 12:46 PM on May 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by Faint of Butt at 12:46 PM on May 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
Maybe someday I'll create my own Portland travel guide. The word "voodoo" will appear nowhere in it. Instead, it will be a list of things you have to find with zero guidance at all:
- A full-scale model of Han Solo encased in carbonite
- A creepily hyper-realistic statue of Mary and baby Jesus
- A non-profit pinball arcade
- A non-profit pub
- A music store selling nothing but synthesizers, all demoable
- Oh, a synthesizer library. And a tool library.
- A mastodon skeleton in a suburban library
- Etc.
posted by vverse23 at 12:53 PM on May 30, 2016 [4 favorites]
- A full-scale model of Han Solo encased in carbonite
- A creepily hyper-realistic statue of Mary and baby Jesus
- A non-profit pinball arcade
- A non-profit pub
- A music store selling nothing but synthesizers, all demoable
- Oh, a synthesizer library. And a tool library.
- A mastodon skeleton in a suburban library
- Etc.
posted by vverse23 at 12:53 PM on May 30, 2016 [4 favorites]
Except for the little cake donuts in two flavors from Mellowglaze and Baker's Wife
But that's just the thing. Hipster donuts have been tried in Minneapolis -- the Donut Cooperative with their curry monstrosities, Glam Doll's Miley Cyrus donut against humanity, Bogart's old-timey atmosphere and exotic sufganiyot. But they've all been utterly demolished -- completely and totally outclassed -- by the almost-next-door, ultra-competitive, bizarrely underpriced duo of donut shops in Nokomis. Like Pepsi and Coke, like Serena and Vanessa Williams, like Minneapolis and St. Paul themselves, they are locked in a never-ending battle of one-upsmanship that has taken the donut to stratospheric perfection and caused Dunkin itself to cower in terror. We have donuts here -- we have great donuts here -- but only at two shops that are right down the street from each other, and only if you can get there before about 7 when they are all sold out for the day.
posted by miyabo at 12:57 PM on May 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
But that's just the thing. Hipster donuts have been tried in Minneapolis -- the Donut Cooperative with their curry monstrosities, Glam Doll's Miley Cyrus donut against humanity, Bogart's old-timey atmosphere and exotic sufganiyot. But they've all been utterly demolished -- completely and totally outclassed -- by the almost-next-door, ultra-competitive, bizarrely underpriced duo of donut shops in Nokomis. Like Pepsi and Coke, like Serena and Vanessa Williams, like Minneapolis and St. Paul themselves, they are locked in a never-ending battle of one-upsmanship that has taken the donut to stratospheric perfection and caused Dunkin itself to cower in terror. We have donuts here -- we have great donuts here -- but only at two shops that are right down the street from each other, and only if you can get there before about 7 when they are all sold out for the day.
posted by miyabo at 12:57 PM on May 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
In Hamilton they have the hipster donuts, which are quite good but over priced, and then they have the non hipster donuts, from a shop that has been there for 50 years--those donuts are transcendent.
posted by PinkMoose at 1:07 PM on May 30, 2016
posted by PinkMoose at 1:07 PM on May 30, 2016
So, I was borderline about making a new post of this, since I'm neither Black nor more than passingly familiar with Portland, but I really enjoyed this photo project that I saw recently and this thread seems like a good, vaguely thematically appropriate place to share it: The Black Portlanders
It was neat to get a sense of the diversity of Portland's Black community and I think the photographer, Intisar Abioto, has a great talent for portraits (I feel like she manages a lot more artistic range than the typical "photograph a bunch of random people on the street" project does).
posted by threeants at 1:07 PM on May 30, 2016 [3 favorites]
It was neat to get a sense of the diversity of Portland's Black community and I think the photographer, Intisar Abioto, has a great talent for portraits (I feel like she manages a lot more artistic range than the typical "photograph a bunch of random people on the street" project does).
posted by threeants at 1:07 PM on May 30, 2016 [3 favorites]
I don't live there anymore, and they may not be the best, but Voodoo helped put PDX on the map. Like it or not, that's something.
Also, I got married there (the first time).
posted by kaiseki at 1:17 PM on May 30, 2016
Also, I got married there (the first time).
posted by kaiseki at 1:17 PM on May 30, 2016
Pip's are great, the Heavenly Donuts near my house are great, I love Blue Star, I've heard great things about Tonalli's but have never tried them. My new obsession is Donut Byte Labs after we had them at work for an open house. They're delicious AND cute, a marvelous combination.
I will never turn down a Maple Bacon Bar from Voodoo, those are magnificent and I don't care if they're overblown or touristy or whatever. Welcome to Portland, have a donut and please don't litter! I will always associate them with the first time I had one, which was in the rain at a playoff game for my kickball team, which (in retrospect) is so fucking Portland it should come with coffee and a shot of bourbon.
posted by fifteen schnitzengruben is my limit at 1:18 PM on May 30, 2016 [6 favorites]
I will never turn down a Maple Bacon Bar from Voodoo, those are magnificent and I don't care if they're overblown or touristy or whatever. Welcome to Portland, have a donut and please don't litter! I will always associate them with the first time I had one, which was in the rain at a playoff game for my kickball team, which (in retrospect) is so fucking Portland it should come with coffee and a shot of bourbon.
posted by fifteen schnitzengruben is my limit at 1:18 PM on May 30, 2016 [6 favorites]
Data point - I'm from Seattle and I love the Space Needle.
posted by under_petticoat_rule at 1:32 PM on May 30, 2016
posted by under_petticoat_rule at 1:32 PM on May 30, 2016
Voodoo is the best donut place to be while you listen to a guy in line talk about his methadone treatment. I wish I could find even fainter praise to damn with.
posted by BrotherCaine at 1:37 PM on May 30, 2016 [3 favorites]
posted by BrotherCaine at 1:37 PM on May 30, 2016 [3 favorites]
ctmf: "I'd totally try a restaurant that had no menu. Just 'dinner', you get what you get, and it's f'ing good. Probably wouldn't be fantastic for people with dietary restrictions, though."
Isn't that an old concept with many (tasty) examples? E.g. a tasting menu, or omakase, etc. A nearly all those places will accommodate dietary restrictions with aplomb, although sometimes they want you to given the a couple days notice beforehand.
posted by topogopo at 1:47 PM on May 30, 2016
Isn't that an old concept with many (tasty) examples? E.g. a tasting menu, or omakase, etc. A nearly all those places will accommodate dietary restrictions with aplomb, although sometimes they want you to given the a couple days notice beforehand.
posted by topogopo at 1:47 PM on May 30, 2016
Indeed, the test of a donut shop is the plain cake donut.
This is true. And oddly enough, my favorite of these is not some artisinal yadda donut shop's, but Tim Horton's old fashioned plain (not the sour cream, just old fashioned plain). This is a nearly perfect donut - a little bit of crunch to the crust, soft and moist inside with a hint of cinnamon and an almost lemony flavor. It is an amazing donut, and best eaten fresh but cold, not hot.
And then, there are these. They taste like my youth.
posted by biscotti at 2:20 PM on May 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
This is true. And oddly enough, my favorite of these is not some artisinal yadda donut shop's, but Tim Horton's old fashioned plain (not the sour cream, just old fashioned plain). This is a nearly perfect donut - a little bit of crunch to the crust, soft and moist inside with a hint of cinnamon and an almost lemony flavor. It is an amazing donut, and best eaten fresh but cold, not hot.
And then, there are these. They taste like my youth.
posted by biscotti at 2:20 PM on May 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
Eff Voodoo. Pip's and Blue Star foreverrrrrrr.
posted by bitter-girl.com at 2:32 PM on May 30, 2016
posted by bitter-girl.com at 2:32 PM on May 30, 2016
I love donuts. When I first moved to Eugene and started visiting Portland, Voodoo was the place I went for donuts. The maple bacon bar was, at least to me at the time, a thing of wonder and awe. I tried to go there every time I went to Portland.
Eventually, though, I decided Voodoo's donuts weren't appreciably better than super market donuts. They're just stunt donuts, shaped like genitalia or encrusted with stale discount cereal. And hey! A guy eating a penis-shaped donut! In! Public! is some kind of something. Between the long lines and the mediocre donuts, it stopped being a destination donut place for me. It was better to go without than deal with whatever it is that makes eating a penis donut transgressive and daring.
Then Blue Star opened, and I found my donut home. Ingredients matter. Good ingredients, prepared well, result in good products. Blue Star's plain glazed donut is a fantastic donut, and I will happily spend upwards of $40 at a time on a dozen of those and others, including the creme brûlée, the blueberry bourbon basil, and the Meyer lemon and key lime curd donut (Oh jesus christ, that donut.). I would not do this every day because these are treat donuts, not daily dunk-in-the-coffee donuts.
Albany has a mom & pop shop that makes the same donuts you get at every Daylight Donuts on the planet. When they're hot, they're amazing because hot fried dough is always amazing. They don't hold up past cool-down. Don't get me wrong: I'll eat them and enjoy them but they're not good enough to get me out of the house just to pick some up.
There's a bakery in Philomath that makes a fine glazed donut that I'll get if we're going to the coast.
Roth's, a grocery store mostly around Salem (I think. I haven't seen them elsewhere) has some of the best grocery store donuts I've ever had, but they're still grocery store donuts.
When my nephew got married last month, they had Pip's bring their truck down to make fresh donuts for the reception. I'd heard about Pip's but hadn't had them before. Each plate had 4 tiny donuts: sugar, nutella, honey, chocolate. I went back so many times and ate so goddamn many of those tiny donuts, I went all the way past misery and self-loathing to donut-induced enlightenment. They will speak of me to their children's children.
Finally, I love Krispy Kreme glazed donuts. When I win the lottery, I will buy a KK franchise, close it down, strip naked, and ride the conveyor through the glazing curtain until I die from sugar exposure.
There are destination donut places and circumstantial donut places. Blue Star, Pip's, Krispy Kreme are all destinations for me. I plan my trips to Portland around one of the three. My local place, Voodoo, Roth's, etc. are entirely circumstantial: If I'm there already, and if I absolutely need to satisfy a donut craving, and if nothing else at all will do, then I'll stand in line and plunk down my cash and eat me some fried dough. But I would no more recommend these places to visitors than I'd send them to the Safeway deli counter to satisfy their orange chicken craving.
posted by malthusan at 2:44 PM on May 30, 2016 [7 favorites]
Eventually, though, I decided Voodoo's donuts weren't appreciably better than super market donuts. They're just stunt donuts, shaped like genitalia or encrusted with stale discount cereal. And hey! A guy eating a penis-shaped donut! In! Public! is some kind of something. Between the long lines and the mediocre donuts, it stopped being a destination donut place for me. It was better to go without than deal with whatever it is that makes eating a penis donut transgressive and daring.
Then Blue Star opened, and I found my donut home. Ingredients matter. Good ingredients, prepared well, result in good products. Blue Star's plain glazed donut is a fantastic donut, and I will happily spend upwards of $40 at a time on a dozen of those and others, including the creme brûlée, the blueberry bourbon basil, and the Meyer lemon and key lime curd donut (Oh jesus christ, that donut.). I would not do this every day because these are treat donuts, not daily dunk-in-the-coffee donuts.
Albany has a mom & pop shop that makes the same donuts you get at every Daylight Donuts on the planet. When they're hot, they're amazing because hot fried dough is always amazing. They don't hold up past cool-down. Don't get me wrong: I'll eat them and enjoy them but they're not good enough to get me out of the house just to pick some up.
There's a bakery in Philomath that makes a fine glazed donut that I'll get if we're going to the coast.
Roth's, a grocery store mostly around Salem (I think. I haven't seen them elsewhere) has some of the best grocery store donuts I've ever had, but they're still grocery store donuts.
When my nephew got married last month, they had Pip's bring their truck down to make fresh donuts for the reception. I'd heard about Pip's but hadn't had them before. Each plate had 4 tiny donuts: sugar, nutella, honey, chocolate. I went back so many times and ate so goddamn many of those tiny donuts, I went all the way past misery and self-loathing to donut-induced enlightenment. They will speak of me to their children's children.
Finally, I love Krispy Kreme glazed donuts. When I win the lottery, I will buy a KK franchise, close it down, strip naked, and ride the conveyor through the glazing curtain until I die from sugar exposure.
There are destination donut places and circumstantial donut places. Blue Star, Pip's, Krispy Kreme are all destinations for me. I plan my trips to Portland around one of the three. My local place, Voodoo, Roth's, etc. are entirely circumstantial: If I'm there already, and if I absolutely need to satisfy a donut craving, and if nothing else at all will do, then I'll stand in line and plunk down my cash and eat me some fried dough. But I would no more recommend these places to visitors than I'd send them to the Safeway deli counter to satisfy their orange chicken craving.
posted by malthusan at 2:44 PM on May 30, 2016 [7 favorites]
Those are some decent-looking donuts. I wouldn't mind being trapped somehow by them, were I a tourist in Portland. Nobody gets home from a trip overseas and tries to replicate the fucking Eiffel Tower in their backyard, but they will probably try at least once to replicate the escargot they ate in that little bistro off the Rue de Ravioli or whatever. Food is where memories are made.
posted by turbid dahlia at 2:53 PM on May 30, 2016
posted by turbid dahlia at 2:53 PM on May 30, 2016
I don't understand why cake doughnuts came to exist. There is cake; there are doughnuts. Why confuse the issue?
posted by Bella Donna at 2:58 PM on May 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by Bella Donna at 2:58 PM on May 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
I think a donut place that angrily refused to sell anything other than fresh-fried, sugared-only plain donut at an outrageous markup would likely do quite well.
There's a guy who runs a donut machine at the farmer's market in my neighborhood. You get two choices, cinnamon or not-cinnamon. They're tiny, and they're unbelievable when eaten within a minute or two of coming out of the fryer.
He prices them reasonably, but he doesn't get long lines. I think the pricing is his mistake: if he charged $10 for a half-dozen he'd probably have a line down the block.
posted by gurple at 3:03 PM on May 30, 2016
There's a guy who runs a donut machine at the farmer's market in my neighborhood. You get two choices, cinnamon or not-cinnamon. They're tiny, and they're unbelievable when eaten within a minute or two of coming out of the fryer.
He prices them reasonably, but he doesn't get long lines. I think the pricing is his mistake: if he charged $10 for a half-dozen he'd probably have a line down the block.
posted by gurple at 3:03 PM on May 30, 2016
McMenamins facilities are awesome. Their food and beer are so dependably mediocre-to-terrible that I'm always astounded whenever I break down and order anything. (Hello, Kennedy School post-pool tater tots.) Everything is a perfect-3-out-of-10 scale every single time. Never varies.
This. The McMenamins up in Bothell WA resides in a beautifully made over old high school, with the original refinished classroom doors for each of the hotel rooms, and they even renovated the pool, providing free membership to all Bothell residents, with a built in Tiki Bar. It also has food that tastes like it came out of an Applebees dumpster after a hobo had fucked it.
My favorite Donut place here is in Mountlake Terrace, Countryside Donuts, owned by a Cambodian Family. Basic Donuts, well executed. Their craziest item? a Bacon Apple Fritter. Forget Frost, Forget Top Pot, give me Countryside!
posted by prodigalsun at 3:24 PM on May 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
This. The McMenamins up in Bothell WA resides in a beautifully made over old high school, with the original refinished classroom doors for each of the hotel rooms, and they even renovated the pool, providing free membership to all Bothell residents, with a built in Tiki Bar. It also has food that tastes like it came out of an Applebees dumpster after a hobo had fucked it.
My favorite Donut place here is in Mountlake Terrace, Countryside Donuts, owned by a Cambodian Family. Basic Donuts, well executed. Their craziest item? a Bacon Apple Fritter. Forget Frost, Forget Top Pot, give me Countryside!
posted by prodigalsun at 3:24 PM on May 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
I've got a lot of mixed emotions around Portland and the exportation of its culture and brands
*clings to Pok Pok NY*
posted by praemunire at 3:46 PM on May 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
*clings to Pok Pok NY*
posted by praemunire at 3:46 PM on May 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
At Tonallis you can get a fresh buttermilk donut and a vanilla shake and I don't think it gets much better than that.
posted by curious nu at 3:53 PM on May 30, 2016 [4 favorites]
posted by curious nu at 3:53 PM on May 30, 2016 [4 favorites]
** for Krispy Kreme. When the first KK shop opened in Virginia Beach at VB Blvd. and Independence Blvd. in about 1968, a 5 AM run for hot out of the frier, dripping with still soft sugar glazed donuts before setting off to OBX was the ultimate. Their coffee sucked and still does, but hot fresh KK melted in the mouth in a pure, dizzying sugar rush.
Last time I had a KK donut, it didn't live up to the memory, but then, what does.
posted by sudogeek at 4:24 PM on May 30, 2016
Last time I had a KK donut, it didn't live up to the memory, but then, what does.
posted by sudogeek at 4:24 PM on May 30, 2016
How is this different from the many other donut stores that have sprung up to fill the void where cupcake stores once stood?
posted by humanfont at 4:26 PM on May 30, 2016
posted by humanfont at 4:26 PM on May 30, 2016
How is this different from the many other donut stores that have sprung up to fill the void where cupcake stores once stood?
1. Donuts are far superior in every way, and almost every culture has its own donut.
2. Because most of the donut shops that are doing a good job around here (blue star excluded) have been around before most of those cupcake boutiques came along.
But yeah, deep fried cupcake probably wouldn't be such a bad pivot.
posted by furnace.heart at 4:52 PM on May 30, 2016
1. Donuts are far superior in every way, and almost every culture has its own donut.
2. Because most of the donut shops that are doing a good job around here (blue star excluded) have been around before most of those cupcake boutiques came along.
But yeah, deep fried cupcake probably wouldn't be such a bad pivot.
posted by furnace.heart at 4:52 PM on May 30, 2016
vverse23: Maybe someday I'll create my own Portland travel guide. The word "voodoo" will appear nowhere in it. Instead, it will be a list of things you have to find with zero guidance at all:
- A full-scale model of Han Solo encased in carbonite
- A creepily hyper-realistic statue of Mary and baby Jesus
- A non-profit pinball arcade
- A non-profit pub
- A music store selling nothing but synthesizers, all demoable
- Oh, a synthesizer library. And a tool library.
- A mastodon skeleton in a suburban library
- Etc.
1. There's definitely a bar in Portland that has a door that's Han Solo encased in cryptonite, but I forget the name despite being there so many times. I'm certain the bar in Guardian Games has a cryptonite Han Solo as well.
2. I'd check The Grotto for that.
3. Pinball Outreach Project
4. The Oregon Public House is allegedly the world's first non-profit pub. It's pretty okay, a good thing to support, but up in Woodlawn neighborhood I gotta stick with Good Neighbor Pizza. Breakside is up there as well and they have good beers.
5. Closest thing to that is Control Voltage on Mississippi, but idk if all of them are demoable. Someone I know runs Mothership Music, and he's in a great local band called Eternal Tapestry.
6. No idea about a synthesizer library, but I remember reading something about Multnomah County Libraries doing workshops for kids that taught them about synths and beat making. As for tool library, the one I used is the NE Portland Tool Library, and you had to have evidence that you lived on NE Portland.
7. No idea about that one ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
fifteen schnitzengruben is my limit: Pip's are great, the Heavenly Donuts near my house are great, I love Blue Star, I've heard great things about Tonalli's but have never tried them. My new obsession is Donut Byte Labs after we had them at work for an open house. They're delicious AND cute, a marvelous combination.
Tonalli's has awesome donuts and ice cream and one of my favorite burgers. When I lived on 10th & Alberta I use to go there and Don Pancho's all the time, although sadly the latter closed down this year. I literally cried.
posted by gucci mane at 4:53 PM on May 30, 2016 [4 favorites]
- A full-scale model of Han Solo encased in carbonite
- A creepily hyper-realistic statue of Mary and baby Jesus
- A non-profit pinball arcade
- A non-profit pub
- A music store selling nothing but synthesizers, all demoable
- Oh, a synthesizer library. And a tool library.
- A mastodon skeleton in a suburban library
- Etc.
1. There's definitely a bar in Portland that has a door that's Han Solo encased in cryptonite, but I forget the name despite being there so many times. I'm certain the bar in Guardian Games has a cryptonite Han Solo as well.
2. I'd check The Grotto for that.
3. Pinball Outreach Project
4. The Oregon Public House is allegedly the world's first non-profit pub. It's pretty okay, a good thing to support, but up in Woodlawn neighborhood I gotta stick with Good Neighbor Pizza. Breakside is up there as well and they have good beers.
5. Closest thing to that is Control Voltage on Mississippi, but idk if all of them are demoable. Someone I know runs Mothership Music, and he's in a great local band called Eternal Tapestry.
6. No idea about a synthesizer library, but I remember reading something about Multnomah County Libraries doing workshops for kids that taught them about synths and beat making. As for tool library, the one I used is the NE Portland Tool Library, and you had to have evidence that you lived on NE Portland.
7. No idea about that one ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
fifteen schnitzengruben is my limit: Pip's are great, the Heavenly Donuts near my house are great, I love Blue Star, I've heard great things about Tonalli's but have never tried them. My new obsession is Donut Byte Labs after we had them at work for an open house. They're delicious AND cute, a marvelous combination.
Tonalli's has awesome donuts and ice cream and one of my favorite burgers. When I lived on 10th & Alberta I use to go there and Don Pancho's all the time, although sadly the latter closed down this year. I literally cried.
posted by gucci mane at 4:53 PM on May 30, 2016 [4 favorites]
Also, Saint Cupcake has some decent cupcakes, and I know there are a few others around town, but I'm not the biggest cupcake person tbh.
posted by gucci mane at 4:55 PM on May 30, 2016
posted by gucci mane at 4:55 PM on May 30, 2016
Ducked my head into a Blue Star on Mississippi today.
Coffee was 2.75.
Nuts to you, Blue Star.
(Also, they had no plain cake donuts. Why even bother being a donut place if you don't have plain cake donuts?!)
posted by curious nu at 4:57 PM on May 30, 2016
Coffee was 2.75.
Nuts to you, Blue Star.
(Also, they had no plain cake donuts. Why even bother being a donut place if you don't have plain cake donuts?!)
posted by curious nu at 4:57 PM on May 30, 2016
For what it's worth, most days no donut on earth is as good as the galaktoboureko from the Overlook. Come eat it while you can (fresh on Wednesdays), rumors are that it's getting replaced by apartments soon.
posted by ivan ivanych samovar at 5:02 PM on May 30, 2016 [4 favorites]
posted by ivan ivanych samovar at 5:02 PM on May 30, 2016 [4 favorites]
Baker's Wife has expanded to a cherry flavored plain cake donut. So we have the plain cake, the plain cake with cinnamon-sugar, plain with white glaze and sprinkles, and plain with chocolate glaze. In combination with all the other options at Baker's wife, not bad, not bad at all. I know the owner/baker is capable of higher end but man, the simple donut is great. They do not run out of donuts by seven, not on the weekends, anyway. I think they went to donut over drive to meet demand. I am kind of meh on Mellowglaze and still judging Bogart's. Just like high end cookery, it is the simple stuff that you judge the power of a baker. The Twin Cities has some decent patisserie but it seems so overwhelming and forced, I am looking at you Patisserie 46. I trust my super taster children, Baker's Wife donuts 4lyfe!
posted by jadepearl at 5:07 PM on May 30, 2016
posted by jadepearl at 5:07 PM on May 30, 2016
@ivan ivanych samovar, that really sucks about the Overlook, I have fond memories of that place. The only good part of that is that they're planning on apartments there, rather than condos. Hopefully they'll be zoned in such a way where 40% of them are for low-income people.
posted by gucci mane at 5:21 PM on May 30, 2016
posted by gucci mane at 5:21 PM on May 30, 2016
I remember Krispy Kreme donuts in the ...?1970s? in Atlanta as *distinctly* gooey on the inside, just because the eggy batter wasn't cooked rigid. I assumed they'd changed the recipe because safe eggs are hard to find.
am afraid to google Krispy Kreme conspiracy stories.
posted by clew at 5:36 PM on May 30, 2016
am afraid to google Krispy Kreme conspiracy stories.
posted by clew at 5:36 PM on May 30, 2016
Every cool and unique thing in Portland is being torn down and replaced by condos or apartments. In a few years the place will be indistinguishable from Beaverton.
And you kids can get off my goddamn lawn!!!
posted by monotreme at 5:37 PM on May 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
And you kids can get off my goddamn lawn!!!
posted by monotreme at 5:37 PM on May 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
Instead, it will be a list of things you have to find with zero guidance at all:
8. A vegan strip club
posted by bendy at 5:47 PM on May 30, 2016 [4 favorites]
8. A vegan strip club
posted by bendy at 5:47 PM on May 30, 2016 [4 favorites]
Without Voodoo, Blue Star wouldn’t exist. Blue Star was a reaction to Voodoo. Voodoo is the neighborhood coffeeshop with the funky bathroom that lets employees pick the music. Blue Star is the cafe that opens up across the street that is cleaner, but charges three times as much and only plays Modest Mouse.
I think Voodoo is more like the original Starbucks in Pike Place Market, a place people line up for a long time to spend money at, even though you could buy an equivalent product elsewhere without waiting in line, because lining up there is understood as a thing to do to establish to yourself that you've successfully visited a certain place.
And I'm not sneering because I went to Portland for the first time last summer and I was one of the people waiting in that line. And I'm not really sorry I waited in the line, even though the doughnuts were nothing special.
posted by escabeche at 5:51 PM on May 30, 2016
I think Voodoo is more like the original Starbucks in Pike Place Market, a place people line up for a long time to spend money at, even though you could buy an equivalent product elsewhere without waiting in line, because lining up there is understood as a thing to do to establish to yourself that you've successfully visited a certain place.
And I'm not sneering because I went to Portland for the first time last summer and I was one of the people waiting in that line. And I'm not really sorry I waited in the line, even though the doughnuts were nothing special.
posted by escabeche at 5:51 PM on May 30, 2016
Fake west coast Portland obsessed with authenticity? Pshaw!
If you ever find yourself in the REAL Portland, I highly recommend The Holy Donut(for that hipster experience) or Tony's Donuts for the traditional-minded.
posted by selfnoise at 5:53 PM on May 30, 2016
If you ever find yourself in the REAL Portland, I highly recommend The Holy Donut(for that hipster experience) or Tony's Donuts for the traditional-minded.
posted by selfnoise at 5:53 PM on May 30, 2016
Every cool and unique thing in Portland is being torn down and replaced by condos or apartments. In a few years the place will be indistinguishable from Beaverton.
I feel like this is an exaggeration.
At any rate, Voodoo sucks, but who cares, I don't have to eat them, and a visit to Voodoo can be fun. That's really the point of Voodoo.
Anyway, the more tourist places Portland has, the better, so when friends come to town, I can just tell them to go there and leave me the fuck alone for a while.
posted by Automocar at 6:43 PM on May 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
I feel like this is an exaggeration.
At any rate, Voodoo sucks, but who cares, I don't have to eat them, and a visit to Voodoo can be fun. That's really the point of Voodoo.
Anyway, the more tourist places Portland has, the better, so when friends come to town, I can just tell them to go there and leave me the fuck alone for a while.
posted by Automocar at 6:43 PM on May 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
Blue Star is INCREDIBLE. And they're incredible not because of their goofy flavors, but because they thought about the recipe and preparation. Their major point of advertisement is the dough, which is based on a brioche recipe, I think, and you can tell. It stands up to whatever flavoring they put on it. It really does taste "adult." As a lifelong lover of things that are sweet and unctuous but not too sweet, they hit the nail on the head.
They do actually have cake donuts (not plain thought) (I had a matcha cake donut last time I was there that was a solid cake donut, slightly matcha-y), but their best is the straight up old fashioned. Any of the flavored old fashioned donuts, really. First thing in the morning they are a symphony in your mouth. Lemon poppyseed was my fave.
Chicago donuts are a letdown (everything is huge, mega greasy, and way too sugar-flavored), Minnesota donuts don't exist. Except the ones from the bakery I went to that closed down when I was eight, which were mighty fine cake donuts with strawberry and orange glaze...
Dunkin Donuts is awful but I'll occasionally eat the double chocolate donut or the Boston Creme. Krispy Kreme's glazed donut is good, but I will never eat that nasty white frosting-filling.
This has been A Critique of Donuts.
posted by stoneandstar at 6:50 PM on May 30, 2016
They do actually have cake donuts (not plain thought) (I had a matcha cake donut last time I was there that was a solid cake donut, slightly matcha-y), but their best is the straight up old fashioned. Any of the flavored old fashioned donuts, really. First thing in the morning they are a symphony in your mouth. Lemon poppyseed was my fave.
Chicago donuts are a letdown (everything is huge, mega greasy, and way too sugar-flavored), Minnesota donuts don't exist. Except the ones from the bakery I went to that closed down when I was eight, which were mighty fine cake donuts with strawberry and orange glaze...
Dunkin Donuts is awful but I'll occasionally eat the double chocolate donut or the Boston Creme. Krispy Kreme's glazed donut is good, but I will never eat that nasty white frosting-filling.
This has been A Critique of Donuts.
posted by stoneandstar at 6:50 PM on May 30, 2016
9. A 21-foot, continuous chocolate fountain.
10. A store that sells artisanal extension cords.
posted by palmcorder_yajna at 6:58 PM on May 30, 2016 [6 favorites]
10. A store that sells artisanal extension cords.
posted by palmcorder_yajna at 6:58 PM on May 30, 2016 [6 favorites]
If you ever find yourself in the REAL Portland, I highly recommend The Holy Donut(for that hipster experience) or Tony's Donuts for the traditional-minded.
My only absence from Portland outside a couple of years in college, was living in Portland, Maine. I was largely unaware of this rivalry before I started living there. Holy Donuts is pretty fantastic, but by far my best experience was up in Brunswick at Frosty's.
Frosty's is part of a very short list of things I deeply enjoyed about my time there. That's some OG, legit shit.
posted by furnace.heart at 6:59 PM on May 30, 2016
My only absence from Portland outside a couple of years in college, was living in Portland, Maine. I was largely unaware of this rivalry before I started living there. Holy Donuts is pretty fantastic, but by far my best experience was up in Brunswick at Frosty's.
Frosty's is part of a very short list of things I deeply enjoyed about my time there. That's some OG, legit shit.
posted by furnace.heart at 6:59 PM on May 30, 2016
A music store selling nothing but synthesizers, all demoable
And right across from an awesome light bulb store that has elaborate Lego creations in the window.
posted by zippy at 7:24 PM on May 30, 2016 [5 favorites]
And right across from an awesome light bulb store that has elaborate Lego creations in the window.
posted by zippy at 7:24 PM on May 30, 2016 [5 favorites]
"Also, the iconic Seattle tourist-herding spot isn't the Space Needle but Pike's Place Market."
Which no Seattleite would ever call it. It's the Pike Place Market. The apostrophe-s is a sure giveaway that some one is not One Of Us.
Anyway, Seattleites like the Space Needle just fine. They just don't want to ever eat there or spend the money to go to the observation deck.
posted by litlnemo at 8:20 PM on May 30, 2016 [4 favorites]
Which no Seattleite would ever call it. It's the Pike Place Market. The apostrophe-s is a sure giveaway that some one is not One Of Us.
Anyway, Seattleites like the Space Needle just fine. They just don't want to ever eat there or spend the money to go to the observation deck.
posted by litlnemo at 8:20 PM on May 30, 2016 [4 favorites]
I have never been to Seattle, but here is Mudhoney playing a set on the roof of the Space Needle, so it can't be that despised by locals, can it?
I was in Portland as a tourist a few times doing touristy things and I rather liked Voodoo Donut. I definitely didn't go there because I'm into gourmet artisanal donuts, I mean, it's a donut, not some obscure regional specialty. But it was fun hanging around in the neighborhood and waiting in the big crazy line with all the other drunk people. And at the end I got a decent donut!
posted by whir at 9:00 PM on May 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
I was in Portland as a tourist a few times doing touristy things and I rather liked Voodoo Donut. I definitely didn't go there because I'm into gourmet artisanal donuts, I mean, it's a donut, not some obscure regional specialty. But it was fun hanging around in the neighborhood and waiting in the big crazy line with all the other drunk people. And at the end I got a decent donut!
posted by whir at 9:00 PM on May 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
gucci mane speaks the truth about the doughnuts at Rocking Frog! On my first trip to Portland I needed coffee and shelter from the rain after wandering around Lone Fir Cemetery. Sitting in Rocking Frog with coffee and piping hot, freshly made maple doughnuts was bliss.
posted by atropos at 10:10 PM on May 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by atropos at 10:10 PM on May 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
Every cool and unique thing in Portland is being torn down and replaced by condos or apartments. In a few years the place will be indistinguishable from Beaverton.
I feel like this is an exaggeration.
Come to Seattle, it's really true, it really happened to like 2/3rds of the places, and it's coming for the remaining ones like the fucking predator. Cool places and just neighborhood businesses, they're steamrolling goddamn everything.
McMenamins facilities are awesome. Their food and beer are so dependably mediocre-to-terrible that I'm always astounded whenever I break down and order anything. (Hello, Kennedy School post-pool tater tots.) Everything is a perfect-3-out-of-10 scale every single time. Never varies.
It's almost like they know this too, because their seattle restaurants Six Arms has the mcmenamins on the signs REAL tiny.
Also, holy shit is it impossible to convince anyone that the drinks there are any good. It's one of the best cocktail bars in town(with decent food!) and no one ever believes me.
Top Pot makes much better donuts than Voodoo, here in Seattle. For one, they aren't stale. I don't think I have been to Voodoo once, without getting at least one stale ring in the bunch.
Top Pot has gone RIDICULOUSLY downhill from what the quality was even 3-4 years ago. I know several people midway up the ladder there who love to rant about it. They care way more about expanding and opening more stores than product quality. This is exactly what fucked up Cafe Vita, and a few other good seattle local chains that had <10, or even <5 stores. I used to get boxes for free from friends who work there, and now i work in an office that regularly orders out from them. Staley stale stale or just meh every time.
Mighty-O still makes decent donuts, but they sort of won by default. I seriously don't even remember the last time i had an actually good donut in seattle, just some fairly OK ones. The last good donut i had was in manhattan.
posted by emptythought at 10:16 PM on May 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
I feel like this is an exaggeration.
Come to Seattle, it's really true, it really happened to like 2/3rds of the places, and it's coming for the remaining ones like the fucking predator. Cool places and just neighborhood businesses, they're steamrolling goddamn everything.
McMenamins facilities are awesome. Their food and beer are so dependably mediocre-to-terrible that I'm always astounded whenever I break down and order anything. (Hello, Kennedy School post-pool tater tots.) Everything is a perfect-3-out-of-10 scale every single time. Never varies.
It's almost like they know this too, because their seattle restaurants Six Arms has the mcmenamins on the signs REAL tiny.
Also, holy shit is it impossible to convince anyone that the drinks there are any good. It's one of the best cocktail bars in town(with decent food!) and no one ever believes me.
Top Pot makes much better donuts than Voodoo, here in Seattle. For one, they aren't stale. I don't think I have been to Voodoo once, without getting at least one stale ring in the bunch.
Top Pot has gone RIDICULOUSLY downhill from what the quality was even 3-4 years ago. I know several people midway up the ladder there who love to rant about it. They care way more about expanding and opening more stores than product quality. This is exactly what fucked up Cafe Vita, and a few other good seattle local chains that had <10, or even <5 stores. I used to get boxes for free from friends who work there, and now i work in an office that regularly orders out from them. Staley stale stale or just meh every time.
Mighty-O still makes decent donuts, but they sort of won by default. I seriously don't even remember the last time i had an actually good donut in seattle, just some fairly OK ones. The last good donut i had was in manhattan.
posted by emptythought at 10:16 PM on May 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
If you come to Victoria, BC you can get Yonni's doughnuts at any of the Discovery Coffee locations and Empire doughnuts at a few places around town (Shatterbox, Picnic, Dak, and on Fridays as the base for ice cream sandwiches at Cold Comfort). I'm partial to Yonni's apple fritters, but nothing in town will ever match the short-lived glory of Doughboys. Their doughnuts were perfection.
posted by atropos at 10:33 PM on May 30, 2016
posted by atropos at 10:33 PM on May 30, 2016
Anyway, Seattleites like the Space Needle just fine.
Build Additional Space Needles
posted by a lungful of dragon at 11:05 PM on May 30, 2016 [3 favorites]
Build Additional Space Needles
posted by a lungful of dragon at 11:05 PM on May 30, 2016 [3 favorites]
Another reason to look down on Portland. The Space Needle has already cycled through "stupid tourist trap" to "kitschy cool" to most Seattlites thinking it's actually cool, because well, it's all three really. Portland, you'll always be the PNW's third city
Fact: in the second half of the 19th century, during the Gold Rush, there were gold claims in Alaska. People going to mine in Alaska had to buy their gold mining equipment from Portland because Seattle was just a tiny little town with nothing going on and no gold mining equipment. Portland was like the last stop for civilization on the west coast, if you define civilization as gold mining equipment.
Portland knowledge: dropped
posted by angrycat at 3:37 AM on May 31, 2016 [3 favorites]
Fact: in the second half of the 19th century, during the Gold Rush, there were gold claims in Alaska. People going to mine in Alaska had to buy their gold mining equipment from Portland because Seattle was just a tiny little town with nothing going on and no gold mining equipment. Portland was like the last stop for civilization on the west coast, if you define civilization as gold mining equipment.
Portland knowledge: dropped
posted by angrycat at 3:37 AM on May 31, 2016 [3 favorites]
I'm willing to try and be disappointed by artisanal donuts because I had one moment of sublime donut perfection that sticks with me and I and I have bored my friends with constantly since it happened.
It was a mild summer day - mid afternoon and I was walking home from DePaul University and I stopped and got a Bacon Maple Dip Long John from the student center coffee shop where they had a distribution deal with Glazed and Infused. It was late in the day and it was the last one. They gave it to me for a buck for some reason.
I walked out and took a bite. The breeze was perfect. The weather was perfect. Birds were chirping. The bacon was thick but with that perfect balance of crisp but melty fat that produces the magic this-is-bacon sensation on your tongue. The maple dip was maple dip which always works (if you are a Canadian) and the donut was just the right level of fluffy. It was a weirdly sublime moment. Like everything in the world had come together right at that moment to deliver a donut perfection into my mouth. I was incredibly aware of how good this donut was. People on the street probably thought I had lost it. I couldn't believe what was happening. A good cinematographer would probably use some fancy tricks to show what I was feeling. Maybe O Fortuna should have been playing on a car stereo near me. I'd rank it as one of the top food experiences of my life.
I've had the same donut since and it just hasn't been the same. They've been good donuts but not sublime donuts.
I wish I could find my way back to that moment.
posted by srboisvert at 4:53 AM on May 31, 2016 [3 favorites]
It was a mild summer day - mid afternoon and I was walking home from DePaul University and I stopped and got a Bacon Maple Dip Long John from the student center coffee shop where they had a distribution deal with Glazed and Infused. It was late in the day and it was the last one. They gave it to me for a buck for some reason.
I walked out and took a bite. The breeze was perfect. The weather was perfect. Birds were chirping. The bacon was thick but with that perfect balance of crisp but melty fat that produces the magic this-is-bacon sensation on your tongue. The maple dip was maple dip which always works (if you are a Canadian) and the donut was just the right level of fluffy. It was a weirdly sublime moment. Like everything in the world had come together right at that moment to deliver a donut perfection into my mouth. I was incredibly aware of how good this donut was. People on the street probably thought I had lost it. I couldn't believe what was happening. A good cinematographer would probably use some fancy tricks to show what I was feeling. Maybe O Fortuna should have been playing on a car stereo near me. I'd rank it as one of the top food experiences of my life.
I've had the same donut since and it just hasn't been the same. They've been good donuts but not sublime donuts.
I wish I could find my way back to that moment.
posted by srboisvert at 4:53 AM on May 31, 2016 [3 favorites]
Arlington and Alexandra VA have Sugar Shack. Basically the same gimmick, even maple bacon donuts.
posted by humanfont at 5:17 AM on May 31, 2016
posted by humanfont at 5:17 AM on May 31, 2016
Top Pot makes much better donuts than Voodoo, here in Seattle.
That's the artisinal donut place that as a tourist in Seattle I have been to, partly because they have a location just up the street from the Westin. After eating several of their insanely good donuts and a much-stronger-than-I'm-used-to coffee for breakfast there, I then (while my poor partner slaved away at a training conference) proceeded to spend a sugar-dizzy day wandering around Seattle twitchily browsing bookstores. I ended my day at Radiator Whiskey by the market, elbowing through the hipster throng to the bar to drink too many very good local single malts and devour a couple of those crazy fried meat small plates that I have repressed my memory of which part of the animal they started out as, so it was a terrifically rounded day of tourist decadence and focused internal organ abuse.
posted by aught at 7:18 AM on May 31, 2016 [2 favorites]
That's the artisinal donut place that as a tourist in Seattle I have been to, partly because they have a location just up the street from the Westin. After eating several of their insanely good donuts and a much-stronger-than-I'm-used-to coffee for breakfast there, I then (while my poor partner slaved away at a training conference) proceeded to spend a sugar-dizzy day wandering around Seattle twitchily browsing bookstores. I ended my day at Radiator Whiskey by the market, elbowing through the hipster throng to the bar to drink too many very good local single malts and devour a couple of those crazy fried meat small plates that I have repressed my memory of which part of the animal they started out as, so it was a terrifically rounded day of tourist decadence and focused internal organ abuse.
posted by aught at 7:18 AM on May 31, 2016 [2 favorites]
Ah Twin Cities donuts. Right now I think Mojo Monkey are doing the best donuts in town and they do have a plain cake donut which, for me, is how you measure donut quality. Glam Doll simple can't make a basic donut and just cover everything with hipster Sriracha. I get far too angry when discussing their donuts. Same with Angel Food. Learn to make a damn donut! Bogart's make me angry for charging over $4 for a FUCKING DONUT. Mucci's is ok but also far too expensive. Granny's is near my house but I just can't deal with the stress of dealing with the insane owner in what should be a simple transaction of me buying a donut not getting into a long debate about how many I'm going to buy and what I'm going to pay for them.
Also, World's Best Donuts in Grand Marais, MN really are incredible. And I'm a curmudgeon and was skeptical.
posted by misterpatrick at 7:37 AM on May 31, 2016 [1 favorite]
Also, World's Best Donuts in Grand Marais, MN really are incredible. And I'm a curmudgeon and was skeptical.
posted by misterpatrick at 7:37 AM on May 31, 2016 [1 favorite]
Bogart's make me angry for charging over $4 for a FUCKING DONUT.huh? Their cake donuts are $2 and the filled ones are $3.
Of the newer hipsterish/foodie donut places, Bogart's is probably the best best bet if you're looking for something more traditional.
This thread has really made me reflect - the Twin Cities has some really great food, but our baked goods are pretty meh. The best ones are the rustic/robust/simple ones - A Baker's Wife has some great bars and pastries, but they are big old Midwestern things, not refined at all. They're made with good quality, tasty ingredients and they have a wholesome quality (you should totally stop by if in the area) but we just don't have a great bakery for delicate stuff in general. And donuts, for such a universal item, actually need a light touch.there really is a hole in the market between super fussy artisanal stuff and that pallet of stuff that just got dropped off by the Sysco truck. Not sure if that's a problem of economics or the people opening these places are just not interested in doing it or what, but it seems like some of these new indie places could benefit from a bit of mass production.
posted by cnelson at 8:14 AM on May 31, 2016
huh? Their cake donuts are $2 and the filled ones are $3.
I speak of their downtown kiosk where they happily up-charge for the privilege. And now say it in your most broad Minnesotan accent "I ain't gonna pay $2 for something that's just dough."
And I agree, we really suffer from a lack of decent bakeries in these parts.
posted by misterpatrick at 8:24 AM on May 31, 2016
could benefit from a bit of mass production.
A bit of mass production and a nicer atmosphere. I went to a place where the food was actually very good (and had something with ramps in it, which around here is pretty hipster even though I understand that ramps have been played out on the coasts since 2012) and it was just a really awful restaurant. They tucked us away alone in the back room (three fat weirdos, you see - can't have those in the front window), the decor was exactly as you'd expect, they played really unsuitable eurodisco (for irony reasons, I can only assume - but I tend to like eurodisco and this was just pretty sad). The actual experience of being there was well below the quality of the food.
And I thought to myself, sure, this was a very tasty meal - but how can I recommend this place to friends? They hide the ugly people in the back room, it's weirdly loud even in the back room, it looks like a downmarket Kindred magazine shot....It reminded me why I pretty much only go to Teahouse and Seward and a few places on Lake anymore.
We have a "food scene" now, yes, I guess, but better the Seward's Wizard Burger! where love is than ramp risotto where there is hate.
posted by Frowner at 8:29 AM on May 31, 2016
A bit of mass production and a nicer atmosphere. I went to a place where the food was actually very good (and had something with ramps in it, which around here is pretty hipster even though I understand that ramps have been played out on the coasts since 2012) and it was just a really awful restaurant. They tucked us away alone in the back room (three fat weirdos, you see - can't have those in the front window), the decor was exactly as you'd expect, they played really unsuitable eurodisco (for irony reasons, I can only assume - but I tend to like eurodisco and this was just pretty sad). The actual experience of being there was well below the quality of the food.
And I thought to myself, sure, this was a very tasty meal - but how can I recommend this place to friends? They hide the ugly people in the back room, it's weirdly loud even in the back room, it looks like a downmarket Kindred magazine shot....It reminded me why I pretty much only go to Teahouse and Seward and a few places on Lake anymore.
We have a "food scene" now, yes, I guess, but better the Seward's Wizard Burger! where love is than ramp risotto where there is hate.
posted by Frowner at 8:29 AM on May 31, 2016
People going to mine in Alaska had to buy their gold mining equipment from Portland because Seattle was just a tiny little town with nothing going on and no gold mining equipment. Portland was like the last stop for civilization on the west coast, if you define civilization as gold mining equipment.
That is.... Not what the National Park Service thinks.
posted by bq at 8:34 AM on May 31, 2016 [1 favorite]
That is.... Not what the National Park Service thinks.
posted by bq at 8:34 AM on May 31, 2016 [1 favorite]
I've been away from PDX for 10 years now, so I guess that Blue Star is newer than that. I remember Voodoo Donuts as being ok, but honestly no better than the Dunkin Donuts I got occasionally as a kid in the Boston area. I do remember the brief period of about 2 years when Krispy Kreme opened up a couple of shops, people mobbed them for a while, realized they were just donuts and then calmed the fuck down. Then the stores went out of business.
In other words, eat your goddamn Voodoo Donuts already, at least that place is sticking around.
posted by Hactar at 8:37 AM on May 31, 2016
In other words, eat your goddamn Voodoo Donuts already, at least that place is sticking around.
posted by Hactar at 8:37 AM on May 31, 2016
rocking frog donut is the closest to pike place punk rock donut bag donut which is my favored donut.
the misapprehension that portland is cool kills me and i am gunning as hard and fast as i can for suburban dadhood in an effort to escape
posted by beefetish at 8:38 AM on May 31, 2016 [2 favorites]
the misapprehension that portland is cool kills me and i am gunning as hard and fast as i can for suburban dadhood in an effort to escape
posted by beefetish at 8:38 AM on May 31, 2016 [2 favorites]
Goddamnit, totally missed the previous link. I'm sorry.
posted by R a c h e l at 9:12 AM on May 31, 2016
posted by R a c h e l at 9:12 AM on May 31, 2016
Donut Byte Labs is run by my middle-school boyfriend's brother! Next time you're there, say hi to Chris for me.
I find it amusing that we ended up in similar cities (Portland and New Orleans) when we grew up in north Mississippi.
posted by domo at 10:01 AM on May 31, 2016 [1 favorite]
I find it amusing that we ended up in similar cities (Portland and New Orleans) when we grew up in north Mississippi.
posted by domo at 10:01 AM on May 31, 2016 [1 favorite]
Wait, Chef Chris DeBarr is your middle-school boyfriend's brother??? His food is amazing!
posted by Kitteh at 10:38 AM on May 31, 2016
posted by Kitteh at 10:38 AM on May 31, 2016
All of these doughnuts pale in comparison to the Provo Bakery two blocks from my house in Provo, UT. I'll be sad when I move away. Seriously, I wake up and go to bed to the smell of rising dough every day.
posted by Marinara at 10:41 AM on May 31, 2016
posted by Marinara at 10:41 AM on May 31, 2016
Um, no. That would be Chris Walls. But I did not know that Chris DeBarr moved to Portland! He used to run the Green Goddess and we'd go there all the time. He and I share a birthday. He makes the most amazing cocktails and he is the reason I know what real balsamic vinegar tastes like. Small world.
posted by domo at 11:54 AM on May 31, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by domo at 11:54 AM on May 31, 2016 [1 favorite]
South Seattle is the exceedingly proud home of King Donut - Teriyaki - Laundromat. They do the basic donuts wonderfully (though the teriyaki's kind of meh) and what they lack in upholstery and balsamic ganache they make up in community spirit, wisecracks, and pure joy.
And as a serious bonus, when Jimmy's working, you get to see a display case full of his art: athletic shoes and high-end purses skillfully sliced and reassembled into damned appealing robots. Ever seen a Louis Vuitton Gundam? You can at King Donut -Teriyaki - Laundromat!
Also, very occasionally, you can see a rat. But screw it. Robots and donuts! Robots and donuts!
posted by palmcorder_yajna at 12:58 PM on May 31, 2016 [4 favorites]
And as a serious bonus, when Jimmy's working, you get to see a display case full of his art: athletic shoes and high-end purses skillfully sliced and reassembled into damned appealing robots. Ever seen a Louis Vuitton Gundam? You can at King Donut -Teriyaki - Laundromat!
Also, very occasionally, you can see a rat. But screw it. Robots and donuts! Robots and donuts!
posted by palmcorder_yajna at 12:58 PM on May 31, 2016 [4 favorites]
> I seriously don't even remember the last time i had an actually good donut in seattle, just some fairly OK ones
I love Countryside Donut House, in Lynnwood or Montlake Terrace or Edmonds or whatever that weird area is. It's not fancy. It's not ironic. It's good doughnuts, especially the Bavarian cream.
posted by The corpse in the library at 1:23 PM on May 31, 2016
I love Countryside Donut House, in Lynnwood or Montlake Terrace or Edmonds or whatever that weird area is. It's not fancy. It's not ironic. It's good doughnuts, especially the Bavarian cream.
posted by The corpse in the library at 1:23 PM on May 31, 2016
beefetish, East Portland and the suburbs are still cool despite what anyone says. There's awesome stuff to the east and I really enjoyed living in Beaverton when I did.
posted by gucci mane at 2:27 PM on May 31, 2016
posted by gucci mane at 2:27 PM on May 31, 2016
the misapprehension that portland is cool kills me and i am gunning as hard and fast as i can for suburban dadhood in an effort to escape
Olympia. Olympia is the promised land. It's too far from Portland to become a bedroom community, and though it's close to Seattle, it's insulated from it by a series of gigantic, protective traffic snarls. Being the state capitol means there are more decent jobs than you'd otherwise expect, and Evergreen's presence helps keep a lot of the brainy/arty/nerdly stuff in good trim.
When we were buying our house last year, despite our settings, Redfin kept serving us properties in Olympia. It may be that we should have taken the hint.
I don't know about donuts, but Oly has damned solid chicken and waffles.
posted by palmcorder_yajna at 3:00 PM on May 31, 2016 [3 favorites]
Olympia. Olympia is the promised land. It's too far from Portland to become a bedroom community, and though it's close to Seattle, it's insulated from it by a series of gigantic, protective traffic snarls. Being the state capitol means there are more decent jobs than you'd otherwise expect, and Evergreen's presence helps keep a lot of the brainy/arty/nerdly stuff in good trim.
When we were buying our house last year, despite our settings, Redfin kept serving us properties in Olympia. It may be that we should have taken the hint.
I don't know about donuts, but Oly has damned solid chicken and waffles.
posted by palmcorder_yajna at 3:00 PM on May 31, 2016 [3 favorites]
gucci chrissakes dont tell anybody ! !
posted by beefetish at 8:38 AM on June 1, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by beefetish at 8:38 AM on June 1, 2016 [1 favorite]
Breaking Seattle donut news: ClockWork Counter Bakery and Cafe just opened at Rainier and Genesse. It is ridiculously cheap, and the rosewater glazed donuts are glorious.
posted by palmcorder_yajna at 6:09 PM on June 2, 2016 [3 favorites]
posted by palmcorder_yajna at 6:09 PM on June 2, 2016 [3 favorites]
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I think if I wrote a similar piece about (say...) Pink's Hot Dogs in LA, I'd be dragged through the fire.
For any sightseeing destination, there's a value to going once (but probably not more than that?). Have locals earned their chance to be snarky? Hell yes.
They opened a Blue Star here (in LA) recently, and they'll be opening a Voodoo at (ultimate tourist trap) Universal CityWalk later this year. Does it matter for me, as a local? Nah.
The best donut is the place next door to my apartment, where I can get a bear claw and a coffee. I'm good, fam.
Do companies really need this type of impassioned defense? I dunno. (But joke's on me--I read the whole piece. Ha!)
posted by raihan_ at 8:37 AM on May 30, 2016 [1 favorite]