“you can't have any pudding if you don't eat your meat”

March 6, 2017 7:53 AM

"Meat Cakes" Are A Thing [Kotaku] Who said cakes have to be made of sugar and spice and crap like that? Behold, meat cakes.
posted by Fizz (32 comments total)

Yes.
posted by Fizz at 7:54 AM on March 6, 2017 [1 favorite]

Meat Cake.
posted by Splunge at 7:57 AM on March 6, 2017 [9 favorites]

This is food you would be served in a horror movie.
posted by He Is Only The Imposter at 8:04 AM on March 6, 2017 [3 favorites]

I remember they used to make a cake out of dog meat for the dog's birthdays on Blue Peter back in the 1970s. Sadly it was so long ago I can't find anything on Youtube.
posted by biffa at 8:05 AM on March 6, 2017

Came in expecting some sort of superbowl inspired monstrosity of ground beef, mashed potatoes, and cheese.
Left very pleasantly surprised. That's really cool, some of those look like they would be really fun to unravel.
posted by Neronomius at 8:07 AM on March 6, 2017 [2 favorites]

I feel like good ol' meat loaf fulfills the formal requirements of a "meat cake" slightly better: Baked in a pan, crumbly/spongy texture, "icing" on top (ketchup or gravy), you can easily stick candles in it, etc. These are just pieces of meat arranged like a cake, but you can't slice it up and eat it like one.
posted by Strange Interlude at 8:13 AM on March 6, 2017 [10 favorites]

What's in the middle of those really big ones? Is the meat just draped on a form of some kind? It couldn't be meat all the way through, could it?

(I just searched for videos of "Japanese meat cake" hoping to find a video of someone either assembling or disassembling one, but instead, I found some other stuff that I should have predicted.)
posted by ernielundquist at 8:16 AM on March 6, 2017 [6 favorites]

Dropped in to see George Carlin.

Second comment.

You folks never disappoint. Carry on.
posted by AlonzoMosleyFBI at 8:20 AM on March 6, 2017 [12 favorites]

I eat at these types of restaurants all the time but sadly never have I seen a meat cake. This sounds delightful!
posted by corb at 8:21 AM on March 6, 2017

Anecdote time: when I was first in a British supermarket close to Christmas, I was shocked to see mince pies stacked in the non-refrigerated section. I assumed that mince pies would contain mince, which is minced meat. But no, they contain mincemeat, which is a mix of fruit and vegetable suet, and contains no meat whatsoever.

Thanks, English language!
posted by Zarkonnen at 8:25 AM on March 6, 2017 [3 favorites]

This weekend I went to brunch with my wife at a place that used to have delicious Dutch Baby pancakes with apple. The have since changed it into a savory Dutch Baby with salami. Both I and a woman at the table next to us ordered it on the assurance from staff that it was amazing. Both of us ate less than half.

In conclusion: cakes are supposed to be sweet. Don't fuck with cakes.
posted by grumpybear69 at 8:32 AM on March 6, 2017 [2 favorites]

More Meat Cake!
posted by pxe2000 at 8:33 AM on March 6, 2017 [1 favorite]

Looks like it would be a beautiful presentation for hibachi, hot pot or fondue as well. Anything where you cook thin slices of meat at the table.
posted by domo at 8:42 AM on March 6, 2017 [1 favorite]

Speaking of meat, remember that $325,000 lab grown meat hamburger (grown in petri dishes using stem cells)? It is now down to $11.36, and may be cheaper than meat from cows in a few years.

I don't think they can grow slabs of meat as shown in these meat cakes, though.
posted by eye of newt at 8:56 AM on March 6, 2017 [2 favorites]

I was picturing something... yeah, a lot more meatloafy.

Anyway, something something, gelatins used to be savory, whatever.
posted by tobascodagama at 9:13 AM on March 6, 2017 [1 favorite]

My birthday is in two weeks. Feel free to start backing up trucks of raw meat now in lieu of traditional birthday cake.

Obviously, people grill the meat at their table and don’t eat it raw!

Just to be clear, I would like a birthday cake made of steak tartare. Thank you.
posted by Room 641-A at 9:36 AM on March 6, 2017 [3 favorites]

I just made a meat cake for a friend's birthday! It was a pate de champaigne wrapped in caul fat so it looked more...chunky and brain-like. Very good, super fun to make (blending raw chicken livers before 10 am!), and I ate like 1/100 of it because it was so rich. He loved it though.

I've also had a meat cake made for my birthday as described by Strange Interlude, except mine was 'iced' in mashed potatoes. The ketchup was for writing Happy Birthday.

Also, Zarkonnen, mince pies did used to have meat in them and sometimes now will still have pork fat/suet.
posted by hydrobatidae at 9:54 AM on March 6, 2017 [2 favorites]

Sitting on my cookbook shelf at home, I have the abso-fucking-lutely amazing book "Cakes Men Like," a compilation of recipes from the back of mid-20th-century food packaging and food company pamphlets.

Some of their recipes are really quite good, like their 7-UP Date Nut Loaf, but I've not yet had the courage or intestinal fortitude to attempt their "Pork Cake."
posted by Myca at 9:58 AM on March 6, 2017 [2 favorites]

I'd kill for a pork pie right now.
posted by veedubya at 10:01 AM on March 6, 2017 [1 favorite]

Raw beef, pork, and chicken
These were the ingredients chosen
To create the perfect little girls...
posted by Wolfdog at 10:05 AM on March 6, 2017 [1 favorite]

Mincemeat, previously on the blue.
posted by Halloween Jack at 10:17 AM on March 6, 2017 [1 favorite]

You can make cakes out of anything or anyone.
posted by guiseroom at 10:20 AM on March 6, 2017 [5 favorites]

...or anyone.

Do tell.
posted by Splunge at 10:31 AM on March 6, 2017 [1 favorite]

You can make cakes out of anything or anyone.

“This is my design.”
posted by Fizz at 11:39 AM on March 6, 2017 [1 favorite]

I was picturing something... yeah, a lot more meatloafy.

That's been done too. In fact, I thought that's what this was going to be about.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 1:19 PM on March 6, 2017

I feel like I should post meat planet.
posted by poe at 1:38 PM on March 6, 2017

What, no Sweeney Todd jokes yet?
posted by Hermione Granger at 1:46 PM on March 6, 2017

Oh wait, that has to do with pies. Never mind.

ugh now I am thinking about all the Sweeney Todd nightmares I've ever had, everything is terrible
posted by Hermione Granger at 1:47 PM on March 6, 2017

Cellular peptide cake. With mint frosting.
posted by Pfardentrott at 2:33 PM on March 6, 2017 [3 favorites]

Wow. That name's almost the *polar opposite* of sweetmeat.
posted by Twang at 4:15 PM on March 6, 2017

Wait, how are you supposed to eat the meat cakes? Are the slices removed one by one, or is it cut up like a cake and the slice is plopped onto your plate?
posted by picklenickle at 11:19 PM on March 6, 2017

Pickle, the article says that the meat is grilled at the table. It looks like something akin to hot pot, where you're presented with the meat slices arranged on a plate and the means to cook them; in this case, the meat slices are just arranged into the shape of a cake instead of just on the plate.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 11:48 AM on March 7, 2017