Manly Men
June 23, 2017 12:47 AM Subscribe
Clearly the sheer quantity of pyrotechnics expended on location ripped a hole in the space-time continuum and the boundaries between parallel universes got a bit blurred at the crucial moment. The reason there are six different accounts is that all six of the cast and crew members quoted are accurately reporting the reason Van Damme got fired in the timeline they were in when it happened.
All we can say for sure is that, across the whole infinite multiverse, Jean-Claude Van Damme got fired in every possible version of Predator. Even the one made by and starring Predators where he was a small Predator in a silly red human suit.
posted by Major Clanger at 1:59 AM on June 23, 2017 [19 favorites]
All we can say for sure is that, across the whole infinite multiverse, Jean-Claude Van Damme got fired in every possible version of Predator. Even the one made by and starring Predators where he was a small Predator in a silly red human suit.
posted by Major Clanger at 1:59 AM on June 23, 2017 [19 favorites]
I saw the movie opening weekend. It was a lot of fun, and was more imaginative and fun than I expected.
I enjoyed reading this a lot. Lots of information I never would have cared about at whatever-age-I-was when it opened. 10?
Thanks for posting?
posted by hippybear at 2:36 AM on June 23, 2017 [1 favorite]
I enjoyed reading this a lot. Lots of information I never would have cared about at whatever-age-I-was when it opened. 10?
Thanks for posting?
posted by hippybear at 2:36 AM on June 23, 2017 [1 favorite]
Postscript: I truly wish "action" movies today were as much fun as Action Movies were in the 80s. But back then, you spent a lot of time thinking "holy shit, they were really in that place" and "holy shit, they really did that" and "holy shit, how the fuck did they do that".
Today, the answer is always "computers" and that's pretty boring and takes away the thrill for me.
posted by hippybear at 2:37 AM on June 23, 2017 [11 favorites]
Today, the answer is always "computers" and that's pretty boring and takes away the thrill for me.
posted by hippybear at 2:37 AM on June 23, 2017 [11 favorites]
In Summary: For me, a certain part of enjoying a movie is recognizing its artifice and appreciating how it was achieved, and CGI doesn't impress me as much as basically anything done in camera.
posted by hippybear at 2:39 AM on June 23, 2017 [5 favorites]
posted by hippybear at 2:39 AM on June 23, 2017 [5 favorites]
Davis: The first day, they said to me, "You should come work out with us." So Arnold knocked on my door at 5:30, woke me up. I went down. I started lifting with them and they all would start yelling at me to lift more weights and more reps. And that night, I was in so much pain that the next morning when they came to my door and started banging, I pretended that I slept through it so that I wouldn't have to lift with them anymore.Great editing, or greatest editing?
Thomas: I think that phrase "manly men" was coined down there.
posted by No-sword at 2:39 AM on June 23, 2017
I agree, hippybear - and I feel the same way about old-school creature-features! CGI ages, but the gooey walking spider-head in The Thing? or the chest-bursting scene in Alien?
posted by Dressed to Kill at 3:32 AM on June 23, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by Dressed to Kill at 3:32 AM on June 23, 2017 [1 favorite]
Predator was up for the sfx Oscar but was beaten by Innerspace. Who remembers Innerspace now? Not manly men, that's for sure.
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 4:03 AM on June 23, 2017 [4 favorites]
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 4:03 AM on June 23, 2017 [4 favorites]
It always freaks me out that the writer of Lethal Weapon is in it as an actor. Like all the 80s boy films were made by one big club.
Also, Get to de chopper!
posted by Mocata at 4:46 AM on June 23, 2017 [2 favorites]
Also, Get to de chopper!
posted by Mocata at 4:46 AM on June 23, 2017 [2 favorites]
They left out one of the best bits about the production. One of the factors in redesigning the Predator (which has not only appeared in the movies, but in comics and games for decades) was that Stan Winston was sketching out ideas for the redesign on a plane, and the guy sitting next to him suggested that he add mandibles to the unmasked Predator design because he'd always wanted to see an alien with mandibles. The guy was James Cameron.
posted by Halloween Jack at 5:01 AM on June 23, 2017 [20 favorites]
posted by Halloween Jack at 5:01 AM on June 23, 2017 [20 favorites]
Who remembers Innerspace now?
I will fight you, fearfulsymmetry. Nam-myoho-renge-kyo, nam-myoho-renge-kyo!
posted by steef at 6:37 AM on June 23, 2017 [4 favorites]
I will fight you, fearfulsymmetry. Nam-myoho-renge-kyo, nam-myoho-renge-kyo!
posted by steef at 6:37 AM on June 23, 2017 [4 favorites]
I love Predator. The last time I saw it was during a road trip I went on for a friend's 40th birthday. A few of us were relaxing in our hotel room before hitting the town (i.e. getting responsibly drunk at some fancy beer places) and lo and behold, Predator was on some cable channel. Did a bunch of middle-aged men feel like having a couple of beers and watching Predator before going out to do some more drinking. Why yes, we did!
My main memory of the first time I saw it (as soon as it came out on video) is of my friends and I laughing uncontrollably at the scene where they all shoot up the jungle. I'm not even sure what we were laughing at (it wasn't in the "so bad it's good" sense or anything like that; I think Predator has a healthy awareness of what it is)...maybe just how over the top it was, even by '80s action movie standards. Anyway, Predator's great.
posted by The Card Cheat at 6:41 AM on June 23, 2017
My main memory of the first time I saw it (as soon as it came out on video) is of my friends and I laughing uncontrollably at the scene where they all shoot up the jungle. I'm not even sure what we were laughing at (it wasn't in the "so bad it's good" sense or anything like that; I think Predator has a healthy awareness of what it is)...maybe just how over the top it was, even by '80s action movie standards. Anyway, Predator's great.
posted by The Card Cheat at 6:41 AM on June 23, 2017
Much love for Innerspace as well. My favorite scene is the one where Robert Picardo (aka the Emergency Medical Hologram from Star Trek: Voyager) is, for complicated plot reasons, imitating Martin Short imitating him. My favorite Joe Dante film, and yes, that includes Gremlins.
posted by Halloween Jack at 7:26 AM on June 23, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by Halloween Jack at 7:26 AM on June 23, 2017 [2 favorites]
Postscript: I truly wish "action" movies today were as much fun as Action Movies were in the 80s.
But... Dredd! John Wick! Fury Road! Almost *perfect* action movies.
Today, the answer is always "computers" and that's pretty boring and takes away the thrill for me.
Yeahbut, computers have also let people do more and more impressive stuntwork by allowing them to paint out the safety equipment that doing things more responsibly than a Jackie Chan movie requires. Like the Batman movie where the way that flipped a semi truck end over end in central Chicago was by actually flipping a semi truck end over end in central Chicago and then CGI-ing back out the piston and safety stuff.
I mean, yeah, we live in an age with clumsy, poorly executed, uncanny-valley CGI figures beating each other up. And we live in an age with glimpses of CGI robots swirling around doing.. something. Fucking, maybe? I can't tell. But for every 5 or 10 Transformerses or Catwomen, we also get an occasional really solid action movie that uses CGI responsibly or to enable wilder practical stunts.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 7:54 AM on June 23, 2017 [6 favorites]
But... Dredd! John Wick! Fury Road! Almost *perfect* action movies.
Today, the answer is always "computers" and that's pretty boring and takes away the thrill for me.
Yeahbut, computers have also let people do more and more impressive stuntwork by allowing them to paint out the safety equipment that doing things more responsibly than a Jackie Chan movie requires. Like the Batman movie where the way that flipped a semi truck end over end in central Chicago was by actually flipping a semi truck end over end in central Chicago and then CGI-ing back out the piston and safety stuff.
I mean, yeah, we live in an age with clumsy, poorly executed, uncanny-valley CGI figures beating each other up. And we live in an age with glimpses of CGI robots swirling around doing.. something. Fucking, maybe? I can't tell. But for every 5 or 10 Transformerses or Catwomen, we also get an occasional really solid action movie that uses CGI responsibly or to enable wilder practical stunts.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 7:54 AM on June 23, 2017 [6 favorites]
Also at least one version of the Predator dvd has a really good commentary track from McTiernan.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 7:55 AM on June 23, 2017
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 7:55 AM on June 23, 2017
Anyone up to print out a copy of GET TO DA CHOPPA!!! and play a few over beers?
posted by rum-soaked space hobo at 8:32 AM on June 23, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by rum-soaked space hobo at 8:32 AM on June 23, 2017 [1 favorite]
372. A Predator Sequel Where JCVD Slays The Predator While Wearing A Red Rubber Chicken Costumeposted by rum-soaked space hobo at 8:34 AM on June 23, 2017 [2 favorites]
For a while, a group of my mates were really into shout-quoting this movie at each other all the time. I could reliably wind them all up by replying with "Id's nahd uh toomuh".
posted by rhamphorhynchus at 8:54 AM on June 23, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by rhamphorhynchus at 8:54 AM on June 23, 2017 [1 favorite]
For those people that enjoy practical effects and horror (with a side of humor), might I recommend Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer? It's a fun little film about monsters and a unsuccessful plumber with anger management issues.
posted by Samizdata at 9:06 AM on June 23, 2017
posted by Samizdata at 9:06 AM on June 23, 2017
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posted by Chrysostom at 1:29 AM on June 23, 2017