September 18, 2002

9:19 AM

...a $17,100 traveling toilet box; a $15,000 dog umbrella stand; a $6,300 sewing basket; a $6,000 shower curtain; $5,960 for two sets of sheets; a $2,900 set of coat hangers; a $2,200 gilt metal wastebasket; a $1,650 notebook; and a $445 pincushion. Yes, it's more insane corporate greed: Tyco Details Lavish Lives of Executives (NYT link, 'free' regis. req'd)
posted by Shane (22 comments total)

What the heck is that MeFi username/password for the Times, anyway? I couldn't find it...
posted by Shane at 9:21 AM on September 18, 2002

name:metafilter46
pass:metafilter
posted by deathofme at 9:43 AM on September 18, 2002

What does a $1,650 notebook look like? I imagine some guilded, jewel encrusted monstrosity. Does anyone have links to products such as these? The only thing I can think of that comes close are Vertu cell phones.

Regardless, I've a hard time believing that executives would purchase items like these for themselves. I expect they were gifts for wives and "escorts" with poor taste.
posted by aladfar at 9:58 AM on September 18, 2002

What's so bad about this? If they make the money, they might as well enjoy it.
posted by Grod at 9:58 AM on September 18, 2002

Newsflash: rich crooks are greedy and tasteless. Film at eleven.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 10:08 AM on September 18, 2002

What's so bad about this? If they make the money, they might as well enjoy it.

Uh, well... Assuming your not being sarcastic, a quick read of the article reveals that these excesses are part of a greater situation, in which criminal charges are being levelled at the company. Big 'uns, really:

"Mr. Kozlowski's bail is set at $100 million.
Mr. Swartz's bail is $50 million."

Etc (Enron) etc (SEC) etc
posted by Shane at 10:21 AM on September 18, 2002

There's a picture of the $15,000 dog umbrella holder thing here, complete with clever caption.
posted by kittyb at 10:25 AM on September 18, 2002

More on the umbrella stand here.

Also, a funny description of the $2.1 million Tyco-paid birthday party for the CEO's wife here. The party included an ice sculpture of Michelangelo's David with vodka pouring out of its penis. (I am not making that up).
posted by pardonyou? at 10:42 AM on September 18, 2002

Doh, next time I'll read the article.
posted by Grod at 10:47 AM on September 18, 2002

Wow, thanks for the links on the umbrella holders. I thought the dogs had developed opposable thumbs and were carrying itty bitty umbrellas. Then we'd be in deep shit.
posted by teenydreams at 10:47 AM on September 18, 2002

Regardless, I've a hard time believing that executives would purchase items like these for themselves. I expect they were gifts for wives and "escorts" with poor taste.

So apparently executives (who must be all male, right?) can only have poor taste in women, not things?
posted by witchstone at 10:54 AM on September 18, 2002

I guess the doofy beagle-holding-a-hoop thing in my link isn't the "one-of-a-kind, 1840s French antique stand, in the shape of a three-foot-high poodle" described in pardonyou?'s link. It would say "Bienvenue" and not "Welcome" in that case, right? And maybe it wouldn't look like it was made of molded resin.

I guess The Street shouldn't have been so quick to scan their Lillian Vernon catalogs.
posted by kittyb at 10:55 AM on September 18, 2002

a $17,100 traveling toilet box

Do you really think they spent that much on a toilet box (whatever that is)? Or did they spend the money on something nefarious and just used the toilet box as a cover?
posted by jsonic at 10:58 AM on September 18, 2002

...vodka pouring out of its penis.

Wouldn't that go over big at a fraternity or sorority party? This gets better all the time: Michael Ashcroft, a Tyco board member, said he attended the (Statue of David Vodka-Penis) party because he liked Mrs. Kozlowski.

Some of (Multi-millionaire tax exile and Conservative Party treasurer) Lord Ashcroft's better quotes:

"...those seeking to vilify me have found nothing to support their allegations that I am a drug-runner and a money launderer."

"The worst allegation that has been proven against me is that I set up an offshore centre in Belize that might... have been used for money laundering."

These folks all kinda hang out together, I guess...
posted by Shane at 11:14 AM on September 18, 2002

What does a $1,650 notebook look like?

Like an iBook?

And, yes, executive compensation is bizarre, I'm quoting myself here, I told you so...
posted by matteo at 12:15 PM on September 18, 2002

Some captain of industry. He could have bought it on ebay for some $20 odd bucks.
posted by rtimmel at 1:02 PM on September 18, 2002

What are you folks doing discussing these issues? You are being sadly misinformed here. There's no such thing as a greedy CEO who would piss all over regular folks so he can live a lavish life at their expense! They're all hard working average Americans that deserve a great big tax break! Don't you know you're supposed to be focusing on invading Iraq? Geez, get with the (Karl Rove) program and go hug a Shrub!
posted by nofundy at 1:02 PM on September 18, 2002

$17,000 toilet box. What the hell did they do, wipe with twenties?
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 2:03 PM on September 18, 2002

Toilet box. So I'm guessing it's toilet as in "I'll be down to limo in a jiff, darling, I just have to complete my toilette," like they did in Gothic romance novels. Not that it's worth $17K or anything, just that it doesn't involve asses.
posted by hilatron at 3:22 PM on September 18, 2002

Long shot question, but isn't Dennis Kozlowski some how related to actress Linda Kozlowski?
I seem to recall learning of a few actors/actresses who have successful siblings. Julia Louis-Dreyfus has a brother who's a big shot in investment banking, for instance. There were a couple of others that I filed away and I thought one was related to Linda Kowzlowski, although I don' t think he was with Tyco when the first couple of "Crocodile Dundee" movies came out.
posted by stevefromsparks at 4:03 PM on September 18, 2002

What does a $1,650 notebook look like?

$17,000 toilet box. What the hell did they do, wipe with twenties?

It's funny what we fixate on. When I first saw that report, all I wanted to know was "How could a shower curtain cost $6,000?" Couldn't track down any more information about it, though.
posted by LeLiLo at 8:21 PM on September 18, 2002

I have an uncle who lives down the road from the CEO (I think, one of the top 3-4) at Tyco in Rye, NY. He loves to tell my family about how the exec and his wife are pushing for their daughter (name: Brittney) to become a world class ice skater. They fly her by helicopter to her skating lessons in another state once a week.
posted by gsteff at 8:29 PM on September 18, 2002