Where's the Cup Holder?

December 13, 2004 11:02 AM

My Wife, The Coffee Table(Google cache)
Geocities Original (with awful Google Adsense ads covering the text on the right).
While I feel bad for the guy losing his wife at such a young age, I'm not sure that having her interred for all eternity in the living room isn't just a little damned creepy. Especially if he started dating again.
"Some of his friends and relatives, filled with fear, stop visiting Jeff. His true friends respected his decision and continue visiting him." No mention of whether his true family respects his decision and visits him still.
But if you think this is how you'd like to spend eternity or how you'd like your loved on to spend eternity then go hit up CasketFurniture (who now have a cool casket shaped pool table too), previously discussed in the Blue 1st here and again here.
posted by fenriq (33 comments total)

A Rose For Emily
posted by Hands of Manos at 11:06 AM on December 13, 2004

This can't be real. can it?
posted by keswick at 11:07 AM on December 13, 2004

previously discussed in the Blue 1st here and again here.

So, why does it need to be discussed again? I'm not flaming you; just curious.
posted by Doohickie at 11:07 AM on December 13, 2004

Sorry, the CasketFurniture site has been on MeFi before. Too my best searchability skills, the Wife as Coffee Table hasn't been up here before.
posted by fenriq at 11:08 AM on December 13, 2004

That's messed up...
posted by thebwit at 11:09 AM on December 13, 2004

Snopes
posted by briank at 11:10 AM on December 13, 2004

They totally stole the idea from early pre-corporate Dilbert strips, and changed the name of the deceased from "Lenin" to "Lucy".
posted by DrJohnEvans at 11:12 AM on December 13, 2004

fenriq.... no kiddin'? I've seen the dead wife somewhere. I can't imagine where besides MeFi. I'll be damned.
posted by Doohickie at 11:13 AM on December 13, 2004

That just gave me a great idea: when I die, I'll have my schlong removed and bronzed and given to my wife as a dildo as a token of my everlasting love for her.
posted by RockCorpse at 11:14 AM on December 13, 2004

Don't believe everything you read from an unattributed, defunct Geocities page, I suppose.
posted by neckro23 at 11:15 AM on December 13, 2004

Damn. Thanks Briank, I should have checked Snopes before posting.

Matt? You can feel free to hit the "Clean Up in Aisle One" button.

Doohickie, yeah, I spent about ten minutes working various excerpts into the search engine but nothing ever came up even close to this. You'll be damned? I am damned!
posted by fenriq at 11:17 AM on December 13, 2004

> That just gave me a great idea: when I die, I'll have my schlong removed and bronzed and given to my wife as a dildo as a token of my everlasting love for her.

Why wait? (NSFW)
posted by SteelyDuran at 11:22 AM on December 13, 2004

Lucy may have been a fake, but this story is well documented. Not as creepy, but still...
posted by Specklet at 11:23 AM on December 13, 2004

Specklet, that's still pretty damned creepy. What if she develops breast cancer in a few years from the ashes? Would that be considered divine intervention?
posted by fenriq at 11:32 AM on December 13, 2004

You can also have your deceased relatives or pets made into a lovely diamond ring.
posted by SisterHavana at 11:42 AM on December 13, 2004

SteelyDanDuran, ever read Nerve? Grant Stoddard did this "I Did It For Science" piece in which he made a cast of his dude and then had a chick friend poke him in the bum with it.

Hi-larious.
posted by RockCorpse at 11:48 AM on December 13, 2004

RockCorpse, that was where I read it! I looked for it briefly, but all the salient phrases I could remember directed me to naughty sites. Previously on MetaFilter.
posted by Specklet at 12:06 PM on December 13, 2004

you like geocities, huh?
posted by quonsar at 12:08 PM on December 13, 2004

Nice link quonsar! It's like archive.org, but for crap.
posted by gwint at 12:15 PM on December 13, 2004

That would really crimp your style with the ladies.
posted by drezdn at 12:20 PM on December 13, 2004

Pictures of Lucy the coffee table and other assorted stupidity.
posted by Zurishaddai at 12:34 PM on December 13, 2004

Let's play parcheesi!

Over my dead body!
posted by moooshy at 12:50 PM on December 13, 2004

you'll play parcheesi when you play it over MY dead body
posted by Hands of Manos at 1:00 PM on December 13, 2004

Lucy seems to be dressed rather casually for perpetual rest.

It's not that it's a hoax that bothers me. It's that the people who pulled it off are obviously slackers that I find distasteful.
posted by Reverend Mykeru at 2:25 PM on December 13, 2004

My mom jokes that if dad dies first, he will be cremated and dragged around with her on vacation everwhere she goes. Or, I think she's joking.

My sweetie knew a guy who's father had a hat collection and a small head. The hats did manage to fit the urn, so it sat on the mantel, with a new hat everyday.

Of course, in the neolithic catal huyuk a coffee table would have been disrespectfully distant compared to under your mattress.
posted by KirkJobSluder at 2:31 PM on December 13, 2004

I'll have my schlong removed and bronzed and given to my wife as a dildo as a token of my everlasting love for her.

RockCorpse you are sooo romantic, I hope I meet someone like you someday...
posted by kamylyon at 2:52 PM on December 13, 2004

Jeremy Bentham got there first, though he's not actually a coffee table.
posted by Quinbus Flestrin at 3:28 PM on December 13, 2004

No good reason why you couldn't rest your coffee on him, though.
posted by DrJohnEvans at 3:53 PM on December 13, 2004

Quinbus, I couldn't see the quarter slot on Bentham, how's he supposed to give me my fortune if I can't pay him first?
posted by fenriq at 4:13 PM on December 13, 2004

PBR me ASAP.
posted by wfrgms at 5:42 PM on December 13, 2004

fenriq, that is an awesome pool table you linked to. The day that I become A) fabulously wealthy and B) at least a tolerably decent pool player, I will purchase it for installation in my Goth-styled mansion.
posted by Faint of Butt at 7:28 PM on December 13, 2004

That just gave me a great idea: when I die, I'll have my schlong removed and bronzed and given to my wife as a dildo as a token of my everlasting love for her.

Just pick up one of these and you'll be good to go!
posted by mosch at 3:31 AM on December 14, 2004

kamylyon, this is merely nostalgic. Romantic would be that feller in...where was it...who had it removed while he was alive as a token of his faithfulness.

I wonder if she left him.

Anyway, maybe there are dating sites that can help you with your dismemberment fetish :)
posted by RockCorpse at 8:43 AM on December 14, 2004