Looking forward to the Half-Blood Prince?

July 14, 2005 1:26 PM

DO NOT READ ANYONE LOOKING FORWARD....! BIG SPOILER! So reads every post on a Harry Potter forum, where spoiler-vandals have turned after getting locked out of the official forum. I'm afraid to even link you directly, with warnings, to the spoiler -- you'll have to click through. Meanwhile, the news reports leak after leak.
posted by NickDouglas (28 comments total)

Can I be the first person to post... "who cares"? Jebus. The book comes out in two frickin' days. It'll take you twelve hours to read.
posted by papercake at 1:28 PM on July 14, 2005

I don't think its possible to spoil a Harry Potter book for me.

Unless you're talking about Harry Potter and the Spitting
Trouser Snake. And even then, I know how it ends.
posted by fenriq at 1:31 PM on July 14, 2005

That was hilarious, in a schadenfreude kind of way. You can almost hear some of those fans crying.
posted by brain_drain at 1:39 PM on July 14, 2005

At least there's an apostrophe in the right place in "NOT ANYMORE YOU AIN'T".
posted by humuhumu at 1:42 PM on July 14, 2005

Turns out Karl Rove did it.
posted by Wolfdog at 1:43 PM on July 14, 2005

Excerpt:

He thought back to that Thursday, the most important day in Harry's life, the most unforgettable day in Harry's life. In the middle of the night Harry secretly got out of bed, donned his invisibility cloak, and like a puff of steam tiptoed down the stairs, and then went to the school hunting grounds, like the night when the keykeeper Hagrid secretly took him to see...

What? You mean that isn't the book everyone's talking about?
posted by 김치 at 1:44 PM on July 14, 2005

I hear the book involves a new challenge to Harry, which practically ends him, were it not for the goodness of his heart and the loyalty of his friends that come through in the end.
posted by ori at 1:49 PM on July 14, 2005

Damn you, ori. I guess I'll just wait for the movie now.
posted by MrMoonPie at 1:57 PM on July 14, 2005

Harry Potter and the Spitting Trouser Snake

Where you not paying attention at the end of the Chamber of Secrets, when Harry goes through a secret passage in the women's toilets and fights a giant snake that emerges from the mouth of a huge stone man's face and defeats it with his little sword by stabbing it through the eye (leaving it with how many eyes?). Because I thought there might have been some subtext or something.
posted by Sparx at 2:15 PM on July 14, 2005

Don't forget Harry's wang.
posted by NickDouglas at 2:23 PM on July 14, 2005

Just finished reading it. Ron is accused of treason after he turns his back on Harry and Hermione and he's kicked out of Hogwart's. Not as good as the other books.
posted by ColdChef at 2:25 PM on July 14, 2005

From the forum:
hey there is nothing wrong with being gay and if you think there is i hope you die or go to jail and have to toss salad for ciggarettes
posted by Quartermass at 2:36 PM on July 14, 2005

I've always regretted not taking a copy of this (dead) link, because the wayback link isn't quite the same without pictures.
posted by Armitage Shanks at 2:48 PM on July 14, 2005

I must to say that I am waiting for the 16th with heavy anticipation. These books are great fun.
posted by caddis at 3:17 PM on July 14, 2005

This all brings back mammories of Lindsay Lohan as Hermione on Saturday Night Live.
posted by jeffmik at 3:24 PM on July 14, 2005

Sparx, I must have missed that part. Along with the rest of the movie. Hmm, gives a whole new perspective to "Chamber of Secrets", eh?

Jeffmik, pictures please!
posted by fenriq at 3:57 PM on July 14, 2005

lindsey-lohan-SNL.jpg
posted by soundofsuburbia at 4:31 PM on July 14, 2005

when I put the rose in my hair like the
Andalusian girls used or shall I wear a red yes and how he kissed me
under the Moorish wall and I thought well as well him as another and then
I asked him with my eyes to ask again yes and then he asked me would I
yes to say yes my mountain flower and first I put my arms around him yes
and drew him down to me so he could feel my breasts all perfume yes and
his heart was going like mad and yes I said yes I will Yes.
posted by The Jesse Helms at 4:43 PM on July 14, 2005

So Molly dies?
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 4:49 PM on July 14, 2005

Clever reference, plump and stately Jesse Helms.
posted by NickDouglas at 5:28 PM on July 14, 2005

No, Molly goes to jail for not revealing her sources, while Filch laughs it up with the special prosecutor. Oh, wait....
posted by bloomicy at 5:32 PM on July 14, 2005

Frogwalk! Frogwart! Hogwart!
posted by VulcanMike at 5:52 PM on July 14, 2005

From the forum:

How can I report this asshole and get him sued... cause i wanna sue him...

People flooded the forum to drown out the 'spoiler' crazyness.

It's a childrens book, people.

Also Jon Stewart mispronouced "muggles" on the daily show tonight. Classic.
posted by delmoi at 9:22 PM on July 14, 2005

Soundofsuburbia, thanks, not quite what I was expecting. But at least I couldn't see her ribcage.
posted by fenriq at 9:23 PM on July 14, 2005

I get to work the harry Potter Midnight sale tomorrow night. We get to come dressed up as HP characters if we want, I'm coming as a dalek from the seventh book.
posted by drezdn at 9:57 PM on July 14, 2005

My fevered excitement at these shenanigans has now reached such a pitch that I believe a hair on my right pinky may have just oscillated somewhat.
posted by Decani at 10:12 AM on July 15, 2005

So, anyone find out?
posted by NickDouglas at 8:53 AM on July 16, 2005

Here's a spoiler-rich summary.
posted by NickDouglas at 12:59 PM on July 16, 2005