Shoot Your Wad

December 9, 2005 11:32 AM

Not safe for work: Shoot Your Wad (warning: Flash, porno music, and John Holmes). "You are Johnny Wadd, the hottest private eye/cocksman in America. You need to distribute your own unique brand of justice by sharing some loving with your adoring female fans." Avoid trannies and skanks, and say no to drugs; power up with Spanish Fly.
posted by Gator (11 comments total)

That god it's Friday. Otherwise, I'd see you in MeTa.
posted by SeizeTheDay at 11:36 AM on December 9, 2005

Good stuff. Kudos.
posted by mrgrimm at 11:42 AM on December 9, 2005

From the Wiki:

A recent study at the University of Uppsala in Sweden has made use of photo-imaging mapping techniques to conclude that, of every reel in which Holmes is filmed, his phallus is never in fact longer than 10 inches 1. Their studies on girth were statistically inconclusive (to a fraction) and thus weren't cited.

This is my kind of science.
posted by dobie at 11:50 AM on December 9, 2005

God, that's exhausting. And it chafes.

Oh, I was supposed to use the mouse?
posted by orthogonality at 12:34 PM on December 9, 2005

Someone hand the man some windex so he can have another shot at it.
posted by IronLizard at 12:38 PM on December 9, 2005

I WON!!!
posted by PenguinBukkake at 2:07 PM on December 9, 2005

Who needs a cigarette? (Am I the only one that kept confusing the negative score ladies?)
posted by VulcanMike at 2:18 PM on December 9, 2005

Avoid trannies? But, they're a blast!
posted by squirrel at 4:37 PM on December 9, 2005

I don't know why you'd want to avoid trannies either. Fucking lame!
posted by crabintheocean at 6:26 PM on December 9, 2005

Remember, kids, don't wear your wrist out, and beware, just like in the real world: Watch out for chicks-with-dicks; do as many girls as you can, as fast as you can; drugs are bad - bad! (yeah right); and, finally, yes - it WILL all run out if you do it too much, just like your parents told you. Have fun!

(my old friends knew Johnny and said he made the BEST potato salad. True fact. Though, I never asked what the special "ingredient" was. ba-DUM-dum).
posted by NorthernSky at 11:57 PM on December 9, 2005

*crickets*
posted by squirrel at 8:45 PM on December 10, 2005