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Water Pistol Semen-Squirter Faces Jail.
December 14, 2000 4:16 AM Subscribe

Water Pistol Semen-Squirter Faces Jail. "Nichols stole water guns from department stores, filled them with his semen and then squirted girls. He sometimes took their pictures." Excuse me, but how long would it take to fill a water gun with.......you know.
posted by pnevares (16 comments total)

My favourite rock-star died last night in a pool of his own vomit.

...

I've filled my pool up half way.

posted by holloway at 4:36 AM on December 14, 2000

(or something like that)
posted by holloway at 4:37 AM on December 14, 2000

" Excuse me, but how long would it take to fill a water gun with.......you know"

maybe it was watered down. cause, you know, it wouldn't really shoot very far at normal ..... umm... concentration
posted by bliss322 at 5:31 AM on December 14, 2000

How long?! I was just wondering what I'd do with what's left over after I'm done filling the squirt gun...
posted by m.polo at 7:06 AM on December 14, 2000

I'd like to take a moment to point out that m.polo did, in fact, just go there.
posted by Hankins at 7:42 AM on December 14, 2000

m.polo, that's why he "stole water guns".
posted by cCranium at 8:50 AM on December 14, 2000

Plural, more than one. That's the good humor!
posted by Jeremy at 9:32 AM on December 14, 2000

Imagine if it was one of those 'super - soaker' deals . . .
posted by aladfar at 11:11 AM on December 14, 2000

I believe the next logical step is for someone to
urinate on Judge Judy Sheinlein's (sp?) leg and
tell her that it's raining. I'd pay serious money
to see that.
posted by UrineSoakedRube at 11:11 AM on December 14, 2000

This begs the question of what kinds of penalties various fluids (bodily and otherwise) would/should bring:

water - annoying but relatively benign
apple juice - benign but has a stickiness factor
gasoline - smelly and flammable
cheap perfume - smelly and hard to get rid of
expensive perfume - smelly and hard to get rid of (and apparently legal since it happens in department stores on a regular basis, I hear)
urine - gross, generally carries penalties when excreted in inappropriate locations even without a squirt gun
saliva - gross
tears - gross
milk (human) - gross, but has antibacterial and antiviral properties - maybe the squirter should charge for it!
lymph - gross
cerebrospinal fluid - gross, probably illegal to obtain
blood - gross, potentially infectious and dangerous, probably not liable if it's done accidentally as a result of injury to the body itself

You get the idea.
posted by beth at 11:32 AM on December 14, 2000

I filled up a squirt gun with blood once, couldn't think of anything to do with it so I squirted it in dogs mouths, they seemed to really like it. I was young and stupid, but at least I got animal hooked on the taste.
As for filling a gun with semen, I imagine it depends on the guy, but I don't think any of us would have a problem having a squirt gun ready for tomorrow morning if we started now.
posted by thirteen at 12:09 PM on December 14, 2000

animals...
posted by thirteen at 12:10 PM on December 14, 2000

thirteen wrote:

13> animals...

Hmm, I think it would be hard to fill a squirt gun
with animals, but I like your thinking. Perhaps
with a sufficiently powerful blender?
posted by UrineSoakedRube at 12:25 PM on December 14, 2000

I believe the next logical step is for someone to
urinate on Judge Judy Sheinlein's (sp?) leg and
tell her that it's raining. I'd pay serious money
to see that.

Better yet, say to her "urine trouble". Get it?!?! I kill me.

posted by mzanatta at 12:28 PM on December 14, 2000

Maybe I'm warped, but the first thing I thought of when reading this article was, "Why did he have to steal the guns?" Aren't water pistols like $1 each?
posted by aaron at 2:36 PM on December 14, 2000

Because he spent all his cash on the milking machine that allows him to fill the water pistols?

Just a thought...

posted by Alwin at 3:33 PM on December 14, 2000

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Water Pistol Semen-Squirter Faces Jail. December 14, 2000 4:16 AM Subscribe

Water Pistol Semen-Squirter Faces Jail.
December 14, 2000 4:16 AM Subscribe