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April 5, 2006 12:20 PM   Subscribe

The Uncanny Valley of the Portrait Dolls Wouldn't your daughter like a doll that looks just like her? Wouldn't your son love to pal around with his very own clone? You can get it done in paper, felt, cloth, plastic, bobblehead, porcelain or magnets! For schoolgirls, toddlers, babies (preemies too!) and even fetuses. Don't worry Mom and Dad, you can get them too!
posted by Biblio (35 comments total)

 
And yes, I did post the scary fetus dolls in a comment the other day. That's what started this crazy trip.
posted by Biblio at 12:22 PM on April 5, 2006


...if i ever have them, i'm never gonna let my children have dolls. ever.
posted by Doorstop at 12:30 PM on April 5, 2006


I don't have any children, but I clicked on the Bobblehead link for a friend - and it's like they just pasted a cut out of your kid's face onto a normal figure. Cheap.

Oh, and do not click on the 'porcelain' link. You've been warned.
posted by NationalKato at 12:30 PM on April 5, 2006


That is beyond creepy. What the hell is wrong with these people?
posted by bubblesonx at 12:42 PM on April 5, 2006


eeek!
posted by raedyn at 12:42 PM on April 5, 2006


Thanks, biblio, I'm completely creeped out forever now. Gaah! What exactly does one do with one of these, uh, creatures? Put it in a locked chest in the attic and see if it ages? Or keep it in your room, wake up and just. . feel. . that it moved across the room and is standing by the bed with a big knife?
posted by mygothlaundry at 12:42 PM on April 5, 2006


While "creepy" is definitely the right word, it doesn't really seem like the dolls look all that much like their respective children. It seems like the effect is acheived by the matching outfits. Still, I may have nightmares tonight...
posted by BoatMeme at 12:46 PM on April 5, 2006


Attack of the Mini-Clones?
posted by wfrgms at 12:51 PM on April 5, 2006


My buddy has been making these personalized bobble-heads for years......
posted by djseafood at 12:54 PM on April 5, 2006


"Preemies" as in "premature babies"? That is just messed up.
posted by brain_drain at 1:01 PM on April 5, 2006


The one that bothered my the most is the "Mom" link. *shudder* she had a doll made of herself crying, holding candle and standing in front of an American flag to remember 2 friends she lost in the WTC disaster.

WTF?!
posted by raedyn at 1:02 PM on April 5, 2006


I think I just found my new hobby. Now, to decide between Fimo or marzipan...
posted by ruby.aftermath at 1:24 PM on April 5, 2006


WTF?! A Bush doll
posted by alteredcarbon at 1:31 PM on April 5, 2006


Thanks Biblio for the round up.

Creepiest collection of the week.
posted by bru at 1:36 PM on April 5, 2006


Shouldn't we all have a magnet of mathowie adhering to our monitors?
posted by Cranberry at 1:36 PM on April 5, 2006


Ah. I see. Dolls fashioned to look like real people. Specifically children. So that one can conceivably have a real-life, 3-D representation of a dead child. Hm.

...

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGH!

posted by grubi at 1:54 PM on April 5, 2006


Hey, don't forget about custom action figures. Man, if I had four hundred bucks to blow...
posted by Faint of Butt at 1:59 PM on April 5, 2006


Is it the physical aspect of a doll that bothers people (myself included)? Or is it the uncanny valley?

How is a doll any different than a photograph or even a painting/drawing?
posted by PurplePorpoise at 2:00 PM on April 5, 2006


Whoops. Missed the uncanny valley in the post. Nicotine withdrawl.
posted by PurplePorpoise at 2:00 PM on April 5, 2006


This reminds me of the strangely intriguing Microsoft sweepstakes from late 2004, "Win Your Inner Suit." It was tied to ads showing hip Office users seated next to teeny corporate Doppelgänger. Prize winners would get the software plus their very own cheesy Chuckie-in-a-suit. (In truth, the dollies looked quite lifelike.)
posted by rob511 at 2:07 PM on April 5, 2006


The only way this could be creepier is if you could send hair clippings to be used to make your doll even more like you.

Say, i may be on to something...
posted by eisbaer at 2:10 PM on April 5, 2006


> What exactly does one do with one of these, uh, creatures?

I think you're all missing the point.
posted by jfuller at 2:11 PM on April 5, 2006


On preview, eisbaer is getting warm.
posted by jfuller at 2:12 PM on April 5, 2006


So what if it's wrong for a full grown man to have one on his desk at work.
posted by PHINC at 2:27 PM on April 5, 2006


Dammit, the porcelain link won't load for me.
posted by deborah at 2:43 PM on April 5, 2006


The fetus dolls look sort of like sea monkeys.
posted by scody at 2:54 PM on April 5, 2006


yeah, but can you fuck it?
posted by radiosig at 3:17 PM on April 5, 2006


Maybe if you buy the sea monkey a drink.
posted by horsewithnoname at 3:46 PM on April 5, 2006


I thought long and hard (ha ha) about putting RealDolls and their ilk in the post and decided there was enough of a creep factor without adding sex into the mix.

Perhaps you'll enjoy this baby!
posted by Biblio at 3:58 PM on April 5, 2006


Why do the fetus dolls have movable arms and legs? Is it so they can have wacky adventures?
posted by jrossi4r at 4:27 PM on April 5, 2006


yeah, but can you fuck it?

Some look suspiciously like inflatable love dolls.
posted by aladfar at 4:29 PM on April 5, 2006


Shouldn't we all have a magnet of mathowie adhering to our monitors?


Sure...

posted by Biblio at 4:38 PM on April 5, 2006


Ahh!
posted by furtive at 4:43 PM on April 5, 2006


Navy Wife Carries Mannequin in Place of Husband (the mannequin is the mustachioed one on the left.):
It's the newlywed's first separation, and Walker was looking for a way to get through the alone time.

"I was surfing EBay and I saw a sailor for sale," said Walker. "One day he was used for a photo shoot in Washington, and I was the high bidder."
Clearly, DB has been at sea a little too long...
posted by cenoxo at 7:58 PM on April 5, 2006


And then there's the marginally related horrifying concept of matching mother-daughter outfits (via). Seriously, what is wrong with these people?
posted by OverlappingElvis at 3:09 PM on April 6, 2006


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