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Putting the fasces back in fashion police
July 30, 2006 11:21 PM   Subscribe

"I keep track of Condoleezza's hairdo so you don't have to."
posted by Blazecock Pileon (38 comments total) 2 users marked this as a favorite

 
That's a relief. Think of all the extra spare time I'll have.

Thanks Blazecock Pileon.
Thanks fairly scary random blogger.
posted by pompomtom at 11:27 PM on July 30, 2006


Whew. Another load off my mind.
posted by telstar at 11:27 PM on July 30, 2006


I wonder if we could get a permanent sidebar link for the Condoleezza Hairdo Alert system.
posted by Meatbomb at 11:48 PM on July 30, 2006


Terrorism Threat Level parodies are so 2002...

Yes, I should've put Rare Red on top. No, I'm not going to bother to change it now.
posted by wendell at 11:49 PM on July 30, 2006


I love the title of this post.
posted by blacklite at 12:00 AM on July 31, 2006


At first I thought the post said "I keep track of Condoleezza's hard-on so you don't have to." Another load off my mind indeed.
posted by tepidmonkey at 12:04 AM on July 31, 2006


Ze covers Condi's Magic Satchel (about 1 minute in, and includes a song about the satchel)
posted by shoepal at 12:10 AM on July 31, 2006


I have it, from a fairly reliable source, that Condi wears a special unique perfume, rumored to have been cooked up for her by the CIA, that causes men to follow her around like starving dingos after a slab of porter-house.

She apparently uses it to her fullest advantage when speaking (in close quarters) with foreign heads of state. Thus, this has become the only thing I can think about when I hear about her in negotiations, etc.
posted by Parannoyed at 12:11 AM on July 31, 2006


I'm pretty sure we've all seen that SA post.
posted by tumult at 12:24 AM on July 31, 2006


someone please tell sparklepony that he forgot to list "afro" in his stereotyping of black peoples' hair.
posted by naxosaxur at 12:36 AM on July 31, 2006



This site is fucking genius.


posted by bukharin at 1:02 AM on July 31, 2006


the sphere of mystery.
posted by delmoi at 2:28 AM on July 31, 2006


6:41 AM ET July 31

"JERUSALEM (AP) - The Israeli air force carried out strikes Monday in southern Lebanon despite an agreement to halt raids for 48 hours after nearly 60 Lebanese civilians were killed in an Israeli bombing, the army said.

"The airstrikes near the village of Taibe were meant to protect ground forces operating in the area and were not targeting anyone or anything specific, the army said. (emphasis added)

"Meanwhile, Hezbollah guerrillas attacked an Israeli tank in southern Lebanon, wounding three soldiers, the military said. The attack occurred near the villages of Kila and Taibe on border, where Israeli ground forces have been fighting Hezbollah guerrillas for nearly two weeks.

"Israel Radio also reported that Hezbollah rockets hit the northern town of Kiryat Shemona."

***
not targeting anyone or anything specific . . . apparently once you pickle off your bombs, the blame lies entirely with the law of gravity.
posted by Unregistered User at 5:08 AM on July 31, 2006


Thanks for bringing that to our attention, Unregistered User! You make quality contributions to Metafilter!
posted by thirteenkiller at 5:30 AM on July 31, 2006


No no, thank you thirteenkiller , for letting me be part of the wonderful nation of anhedonia, in which we whistle past the graveyard.
posted by Unregistered User at 5:49 AM on July 31, 2006


What's that mean?
posted by thirteenkiller at 6:05 AM on July 31, 2006


Anhedonia: the inability to gain pleasure from normally pleasurable experiences. Maybe exactly the opposite of what you mean, UU. It seems to me that "whistling past the graveyard" is a symptom of the inability to be troubled by normally troubling experiences.
posted by Plutor at 6:13 AM on July 31, 2006


Haha, yeah Plutor.. I looked up anhedonia and got more confused. That's why I asked. Either UU used it wrong or his poetry is just too deep for me. Anyway, I'm just not sure how that bombing shit belongs in this thread.
posted by thirteenkiller at 6:26 AM on July 31, 2006


Maybe they were trying to bomb Condi's hair?
posted by Meatbomb at 6:38 AM on July 31, 2006


Condi's hair IS the bomb.
posted by blue_beetle at 6:49 AM on July 31, 2006 [2 favorites]


that Condi wears a special unique perfume

Y'know, it's just possible that what's unique is Condi. Back in the day, I knew this woman I totally had the hots for -- even though starting anything with her would've been utterly wrong -- who smelled indescribably, irresistably wonderful all the time. Eventually I figured out that what was going on was that I was smelling what happened when her body chemistry interacted with a certain brand of laundry detergent she used. It would leave just enough on her clothes that it would interact with her skin and drive me to distraction. Lots of women spend $$ on perfume, cologne etc. trying for the effect that Mary got merely from washing her T-shirts in Tide.
posted by pax digita at 6:50 AM on July 31, 2006


Maybe exactly the opposite of what you mean, UU.

Maybe it's more like the contrapositve of what you mean, UU.
posted by StickyCarpet at 7:10 AM on July 31, 2006


Say what you will. Her clothes set the tone for powerful women all over the world, and she's the only thing between Israel and the total destruction of Lebanon.
posted by The Jesse Helms at 7:36 AM on July 31, 2006


very hilarious
posted by ClaudiaCenter at 8:21 AM on July 31, 2006


i emphasize the fluffy triviality of condoleezza's gender, so that you don't have to take her seriously either!

sparklepony power!!
posted by sergeant sandwich at 8:23 AM on July 31, 2006


I found this photo of Condi to be a revealing frontal picture, while this one shows her best hair style to advantage.
posted by nofundy at 8:34 AM on July 31, 2006 [1 favorite]


I'd stick Margaret Thatcher in her prime against Condi any day of the week. The Iron Lady would have kicked seven bells out of Condi even without her handbag. Want to talk immaculate coiffuritudity? Maggie had that shit down.

If only she hadn't been such a total assmonkey.
posted by longbaugh at 8:55 AM on July 31, 2006


http://www.condiriceisangry.com/
posted by thirteenkiller at 9:04 AM on July 31, 2006



i emphasize the fluffy triviality of condoleezza's gender, so that you don't have to take her seriously either!


While this is true, I'm not sure it's deserving of a snark. The blogger seems to be pointing out the good Doctor's own emphasis on her gender more than anything else. Check out the photo entitled "Can you pick out the Secretary of State?"
posted by hoborg at 9:14 AM on July 31, 2006


I'm totally buying a Sparkle Pony thong. I don't know how I've lived so long without one!
posted by spilon at 9:18 AM on July 31, 2006


Condi Feels Lebanon’s Pain oh, and that hair, it looks marvelous!
posted by Unregistered User at 10:54 AM on July 31, 2006


The blogger seems to be pointing out the good Doctor's own emphasis on her gender more than anything else

crap. maintaining a shred of femininity is not an emphasis on one's own gender. there's something wrong with expecting women in power to act or dress like men.

in this vein, see also all the ridiculous kerfluffle surrounding yulia tymoshenko.
posted by sergeant sandwich at 11:09 AM on July 31, 2006


"You keep using that word... I do not think it means what you think it means."
posted by jennaratrix at 12:05 PM on July 31, 2006


Condoleezza + football. Magnum, you never let me down...
posted by msbrauer at 2:59 PM on July 31, 2006


"kerfluffle". . . an intrigue of fluffiness?
posted by gorgor_balabala at 3:54 PM on July 31, 2006


The only problem with this concept is that Condi's hair doesn't actually change very much. Sometimes it's flatter and sometimes it's fuller, but that's about it.
posted by Tuffy at 7:59 PM on July 31, 2006


Yulia Tymoshenko is the hottest Prime Minister ever to walk the planet.
posted by Meatbomb at 6:11 AM on August 1, 2006


Yeah, plus she's a hard leftie. Expropriate the expropriators -- and look fabulous doing it
posted by Tuffy at 9:39 AM on August 1, 2006


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