Ass. In the box.
September 26, 2006 7:07 PM   Subscribe

Ass in the box.
posted by mr_crash_davis (41 comments total) 3 users marked this as a favorite

 
Melanin sold separately.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 7:11 PM on September 26, 2006


I was kinda hoping this was posted by MrMoonPie.
posted by forallmankind at 7:14 PM on September 26, 2006


Hey, look! We have a new tag!
posted by mds35 at 7:16 PM on September 26, 2006 [1 favorite]


Pistachios!
posted by keswick at 7:18 PM on September 26, 2006 [1 favorite]


asstastic!
posted by grimley at 7:22 PM on September 26, 2006


I just returned from seeing Jackass II. The last thing in the world I want to see is another fat pasty ass. Even in a box.
posted by photoslob at 7:26 PM on September 26, 2006


I'm still trying to decide if that's work-safe or not.
posted by empatterson at 7:26 PM on September 26, 2006


Box ass. Ass box.
posted by lalochezia at 7:28 PM on September 26, 2006


Upon noticing the "assinthebox" tag, I burst into a fit of laughter. My roommates are now giving me weird looks.

Thanks, crash.
posted by Mikey-San at 7:28 PM on September 26, 2006


God bless America. You can ship your ass for free too. Now that's what I call opening a can of a box of whoop ass on somebody.
posted by bim at 7:29 PM on September 26, 2006


A product that needs no *
posted by eyeballkid at 7:35 PM on September 26, 2006 [1 favorite]


We all have the presidents address yes?
posted by Holy foxy moxie batman! at 7:37 PM on September 26, 2006



posted by rob511 at 7:51 PM on September 26, 2006


I would like to formally propose a mass-mailing of ass, with love from whatever applicable percentage of the MeFi community, to the White House.

(as advanced by Holy foxy moxie batman!)

(and no, I am in no way connected...I just think it would be a wicked burn.)
posted by nevercalm at 7:55 PM on September 26, 2006


ew.

Metafilter: Going Down the Toilet
posted by WaterSprite at 7:58 PM on September 26, 2006


Worst. Sex toy gift. Evah.
posted by Artw at 8:10 PM on September 26, 2006


I feel silly now for seeing the words “Ass in the box” and thinking, what could this possibly be?
posted by tepidmonkey at 8:21 PM on September 26, 2006


double
posted by Falconetti at 8:33 PM on September 26, 2006


God, I thought it was another one of those contentious, strife-ridden political posts where lackadaisical armchair pundits rattled sabers at each other for an eternity over far-removed events so out of their sphere of influence that they couldn't influence them with a nuclear bomb and a time machine.

Thankfully it contains nothing but laughs. And ass. Excellent. Smithers! Fetch me my little yellow wading boots!
posted by loquacious at 8:34 PM on September 26, 2006


Does it come with an ass to put on my car antenna?
posted by zek at 8:41 PM on September 26, 2006


Ass in the box?
posted by quin at 8:44 PM on September 26, 2006


Ass over the box.
posted by quin at 8:46 PM on September 26, 2006


"You can feel safe knowing that our ordering system uses 128-bit Secure Socket Layer encryption for all transactions. No sensitive payment information is stored on our servers. Your security is no joke, we have created a safe and secure way for you to enjoy sending the AssInTheBox!"

Fight the power.
posted by Smedleyman at 9:00 PM on September 26, 2006


This is why we will win. Damn, that made me laugh out loud!
posted by fenriq at 9:08 PM on September 26, 2006


I'm still trying to decide if that's work-safe or not

Well, since it's entirely likely that your boss is an ass, and therefore he/she might take offense, I'd say it's NSFW.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 9:11 PM on September 26, 2006


It doesn't go far enough for my use.
It needs to:
1 - be spelled correctly (arse)
2 - shoot out with extreme force
3 - spray real diarrhoea directly into the face of the addressee
4 - bear teeth and shout obscenity
5 - explode
posted by strawberryviagra at 9:12 PM on September 26, 2006


teeth, lips, hair - and a perfect bot
posted by forallmankind at 9:28 PM on September 26, 2006


a marriage made in marketing heaven. or hell, rather.
posted by whatnot at 9:37 PM on September 26, 2006


if i had the money to spare right now, there is certainly someone who i would send this to at this time
posted by pyramid termite at 9:40 PM on September 26, 2006


A product that needs no *

Vonnegut would have words with you.
posted by danb at 9:45 PM on September 26, 2006


And his words would probably be far from cross.
posted by loquacious at 9:50 PM on September 26, 2006


This has got to be the worst FPP of the day.
posted by oddman at 10:02 PM on September 26, 2006


Once, long ago, when I went to Mardis Gras in New Orleans with a stripper, there was a gay bar. And outside that gaybar there was a bunch of gay guys on flatbed trailer. And on that trailer was a box. The box said, upon the side, "Ass in a box" and the gayboys were in and around the box, also saying, "Ass in a box" and counting handfuls of money they were taking from the crowd. The people would hand over their money so they could go in the box.

I've always wondered what was in that box.

And now I think I still don't know.
posted by nyxxxx at 10:03 PM on September 26, 2006


I vote for arse too.
posted by MsWonderland at 10:59 PM on September 26, 2006


Needs to be bigger, hairier, more corporeally human in the worst sense. A vengeance ass can never be mistaken for 'cute'.
posted by maryh at 11:23 PM on September 26, 2006


Well it's certainly unique :)
posted by thecashcow at 2:14 AM on September 27, 2006


I find it racially insensitive. Why only a Caucasian ass? It needs to also be available in black, Latino and shiny metal.
posted by Faint of Butt at 3:08 AM on September 27, 2006


And a goatse too, Faint of Butt. (heh)
posted by Eekacat at 6:43 AM on September 27, 2006


If only the super-hilarious Sam Henderson had more of his comics online. He's gotten a lot of mileage out of asses, in boxes or otherwise. "It's my greatest invention. I call it the ass!"
posted by hydrophonic at 8:04 AM on September 27, 2006


Weird Al Yankovic takes a break from making music to creat an abstract Alice In Chains tribute.
posted by Uther Bentrazor at 8:38 AM on September 27, 2006


A product that needs no *

But just enough (_*_)
posted by MikeKD at 1:51 PM on September 27, 2006


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