Best of teh Web, and by best, I mean worst.

October 27, 2006 2:08 PM

K-Feddrops a heater. New album streaming in full. It is really bad. Whether or not he ruined Britnety Spear's career or not is disputable, but if listening to this is any clue it seems likely. Featuring genius lyrics like : "Girls say I'm cocky, I think I'm humble, Basically ya'll just talk like Bryant Gumbel". Gumbel ryhmes wit' humble, basically, yo. You are in for a listening treat.(warning: steaming aol music site)
posted by BrodieShadeTree (62 comments total)

Uh, thanks for the awesome link.
posted by xmutex at 2:10 PM on October 27, 2006

STEAMING ol' aol music site ahead, guys! Watch out for that scatological double-entendre!
posted by shownomercy at 2:17 PM on October 27, 2006

Every generation gets the Yoko Ono they deserve.
posted by turaho at 2:18 PM on October 27, 2006 [6 favorites has favorites]

This is hypnotically bad. Thanks, Brodie; there's no chance I would have found this on my own.
posted by CRM114 at 2:19 PM on October 27, 2006

Take back that jab at Yoko, please.

And I always thought 'Recurring' was K-Fed's best album.
posted by Item at 2:21 PM on October 27, 2006

You're comparing John Lennon and Britney Spears? Are you fucking kidding me.
posted by chunking express at 2:22 PM on October 27, 2006

I'm not touching any of that with an irradiated 60 foot pole.
posted by loquacious at 2:23 PM on October 27, 2006

it is so bad, but i learned a new word 'haterade', as in "haters be all drinkin' on their haterade" ..clever.
posted by BrodieShadeTree at 2:24 PM on October 27, 2006

Who's Britnety Spear?
posted by ODiV at 2:28 PM on October 27, 2006

Haterade--the aqua vitae of mefi
posted by sonofsamiam at 2:28 PM on October 27, 2006 [3 favorites has favorites]

chunking express writes "You're comparing John Lennon and Britney Spears? Are you fucking kidding me."

I think that's what he meant by "every generation" and "deserve"....
posted by mr_roboto at 2:29 PM on October 27, 2006

but i learned a new word 'haterade'

Where ya been homie. That wordz been play'd out for years yo.
posted by justgary at 2:30 PM on October 27, 2006

Someone just pooped in my ear.
posted by unSane at 2:31 PM on October 27, 2006 [1 favorite has favorites]

In Portuguese, it means bring your ass to the dance floor.

I want to see some titty and a little bit of kitty.
Want to know where to go when I'm in your city.

Yes, we had already heard a bit of his genius already. (Then he did that "Oh I was just kidding with 'Popozao', that wasn't the real release, now here's something you'll really like" thing...gah)

He could have a bright future as a wrestling heel though. He's been appearing on WWE RAW for a couple of weeks now, and the crowd dislikes him even more than any of the regular "bad guys" on the show. Last time he wore an "America's Most Hated" shirt. It's funny stuff, in spite of everything.
posted by First Post at 2:32 PM on October 27, 2006

Last night I issued a challenge to K-fed. http://hateon.blogspot.com/2006/10/k-fed-if-you-want-to-hate-me-cool-hate.html

I want to fight him. I'm serious. Someone find him and tell him I want to meet him for a no rules, no weapons, no shirts fight.

I'll whup his ass.
posted by nyxxxx at 2:33 PM on October 27, 2006

My ears! My beautiful ears!
posted by mkultra at 2:33 PM on October 27, 2006

"I'm not touching any of that with an irradiated 60 foot pole."



YOU LEAVE MECHA LECH WALESA OUT OF THIS.
posted by stenseng at 2:33 PM on October 27, 2006 [2 favorites has favorites]

An img, and img, my kingdom for an img!
posted by monju_bosatsu at 2:35 PM on October 27, 2006

Never been to denver but I'm rockin Nuggets!

This is just crappy, not even amusingly crappy. The production is supremely boring.
posted by sonofsamiam at 2:37 PM on October 27, 2006

His existance is asthetically offensive.
posted by delmoi at 2:47 PM on October 27, 2006

He was truly the Mark E. Smith of his generation.
posted by sonofsamiam at 2:56 PM on October 27, 2006

CSI has sucked this entire new season, except for that one bit [YouTube].

That... was awesome.
posted by linux at 2:57 PM on October 27, 2006

> You're comparing John Lennon and Britney Spears? Are you fucking kidding me.

After he met up with Yoko? Pretty much.
posted by jfuller at 3:02 PM on October 27, 2006

I'm K-Fed-up with anything having to do with this strutting talentless ass-pappy. I want a real life greasemonkey script to remove him entirely from my reality.
posted by fenriq at 3:18 PM on October 27, 2006

will crunchland enter this thread and say "i don't see any record company executives asking you to record cd's"?
posted by quonsar at 3:18 PM on October 27, 2006

I'm guessing no execs asked k-fed,either.In fact I can imagine some asking his wife to stop him.
posted by BrodieShadeTree at 3:25 PM on October 27, 2006

best album EVAR!
posted by nola at 3:31 PM on October 27, 2006

I just hope he doesn't take a stand against the Iraq war and lose all of his fans.
posted by bardic at 3:31 PM on October 27, 2006

nyxxxx, Great idea. I hope he accepts.

Ooh, perhaps we can get K-fed to box Uwe Boll.
posted by quin at 3:34 PM on October 27, 2006

will crunchland enter this thread and say "i don't see any record company executives asking you to record cd's"?

This is totally irrelevant, but... quonsar liked Creed!

Sorry, whenever music comes up on metafilter and quonsar comments, I always think of that thread. I just can't wrap my mind around the q rocking out to Creed, of all things. It makes me lolphin.
posted by The God Complex at 3:39 PM on October 27, 2006

I am now stupider for having listened to that.
posted by gnutron at 3:45 PM on October 27, 2006

To keep it real kid you gots to stay humble
You can't fumble, and if you gots to rumble
Then word to Bryant Gumble I'ma live for today
And God bless the man that steps in my way

Everlast, "Fed Up" (House of Pain f/ Cockni O'Dire), The Truth Crushed to Earth Shall Rise Again (1996)
posted by rxrfrx at 3:50 PM on October 27, 2006

I guess that track should've been called "K-Fed Up" eh?
posted by rxrfrx at 3:51 PM on October 27, 2006

He's a struggler.
posted by chillmost at 3:53 PM on October 27, 2006

Listening at home. Seems like generic rap music, nothing distinguishable from other pop-rap.
posted by delmoi at 3:56 PM on October 27, 2006

Britney Spears married a shitty white rapper lol
posted by four panels at 4:42 PM on October 27, 2006

She never really left the South, really
posted by four panels at 4:43 PM on October 27, 2006

I'm not touching any of that with an irradiated 60 foot pole.

don't you need an irradiated 60 foot ho for that?
posted by pyramid termite at 4:50 PM on October 27, 2006

I once saw a post on Fark regarding his Teen Choice Awards performance that pretty much summed it up. The writer wrote "I keep expecting Ashton Kutcher to jump out and say 'You've been punked America' whenever he performs".
posted by Octoparrot at 4:52 PM on October 27, 2006

I loathe that man with the fiery hellish intensity of a thousand exploding supernovae...

but his albums got a good beat and I can dance to it!
posted by Parannoyed at 4:53 PM on October 27, 2006

He seems to have a very poor sense of timing and displays little adherence to meter. Extra, unnecessary syllables are thrown in all over the place and it's very, very distracting. I'm not a rap music fan per se, but it seems that even mediocre rappers have a very solid sense of rhythm. With this shit his timing is frequently entirely off compared to the music. I don't need to point out that the clever plays-on-words, puns, double-entendres and elegant economy of word use, so well done by guys like Eminem, Jay Z etc. are totally absent here. The fact that this guy owns a Ferrari F430 Spyder fills me with unabashed rage.

I give the record a 0 out of 13 possible pairs of extra-large boxer shorts.
posted by jimmythefish at 4:56 PM on October 27, 2006

They said all this about the Beatles at first too.
posted by fire&wings at 4:59 PM on October 27, 2006 [1 favorite has favorites]

They said all this about the Beatles at first too.

Um... no.

But then I realized: you must be joking.

...

PLEASE TELL ME YOU'RE JOKING.
posted by grubi at 5:25 PM on October 27, 2006

Well, he claims the first track is pirate-inspired. So I guess he has that going for him.
posted by aliasless at 5:57 PM on October 27, 2006

jfuller writes "After he met up with Yoko? Pretty much."

Well, he did get a bit smarmy, but his Live in NYC was great - Instant Karma, Cold Turkey. Also, Working Class Hero. His love songs weren't as edgy, but I liked his sense of melody. I have come to respect what Yoko does as an artist, but I really wish she hadn't wanted to sing. Hey, he fell in love, which softened him up, and I can't blame him for it nor expect anyone to stay in their 20s forever. I don't think of Britney the same way at all. She never was taken seriously as any sort of artist.
posted by krinklyfig at 6:23 PM on October 27, 2006

Well, I'm a Christian and my ears are not garbage cans.
A big no-prize to the first person who gets that.
posted by aladfar at 6:30 PM on October 27, 2006

Perhaps we were too harsh on Vanilla Ice.
posted by 2sheets at 6:33 PM on October 27, 2006 [5 favorites has favorites]

Sounds about as musical as the new Jay-Z song being used to pimp Bud these days.
posted by papercake at 6:46 PM on October 27, 2006

It's as if Vanilla Ice started off as a famous actor in such hits as Cool as Ice and then decided to try out music. I mean... Shaq at least picked a unique rap group for which to add a verse.

But, really, if Fergie can rip off Gwen Stefani and get away with it, K-Fed might not have too much trouble ripping off Eminem and making it a success.
posted by VulcanMike at 7:00 PM on October 27, 2006

IT A PASTE!!! I LIKE A EAT PASTE!!!
posted by quonsar at 7:15 PM on October 27, 2006 [1 favorite has favorites]

VulcanMike, except, you know, Eminem has some talent.
posted by fenriq at 7:39 PM on October 27, 2006

And you wonder why Al Qaeda hates you so much.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 8:00 PM on October 27, 2006 [2 favorites has favorites]

Could this be a self-published vanity album, and he's being taken for a ride by everyone who can fleece him? "Shy-yit, K-man, you be the dawg! [That'll be $30K studio fees, thank-you.]"
posted by five fresh fish at 8:04 PM on October 27, 2006

Britnety Spear's husband's existance is asthetically offensive!
posted by brain_drain at 8:12 PM on October 27, 2006

Wait--Is it still October 22nd?
posted by cytherea at 11:35 PM on October 27, 2006

Kevin Federline: The Paris Hilton of males.
posted by dirigibleman at 1:16 AM on October 28, 2006

Am I correct that AOL doesn't stream outside of N.America and that is why I get an uninformative error message saying there was a problem?

Not that I am upset by this.
posted by srboisvert at 2:19 AM on October 28, 2006

plunges 6 inch spikes into ears....
posted by gallois at 10:45 AM on October 28, 2006

I knew there was a reason I kept pop culture at arm's length.
posted by jason's_planet at 12:02 PM on October 28, 2006

(warning: steaming aol music shite)

... oh, and has Faze dropped in to defend this yet?
posted by joe lisboa at 12:33 PM on October 28, 2006

"Well, I'm a Christian and my ears are not garbage cans."
A big no-prize to the first person who gets that.

You mean to the first person who gets that it's a line from Dog Day Afternoon? If so, then I got it, and I want my no-prize NOW.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 10:31 PM on October 28, 2006

fenriq rapped: VulcanMike, except, you know, Eminem has some talent.

I said that if Fergie can rip off Stefani, then Federline may get away with ripping off Eminem.

You're either implying that Fergie does have talent, or that she and Stefani do not. The latter, I suppose, is arguable. The former? I’m Fergie Ferg, and me love you long time. Definitely closer to Vanilla Ice than Stefani.
posted by VulcanMike at 5:27 AM on November 2, 2006