don't miss the Nancy Reagan one!

December 12, 2006 3:57 PM

The 40 Best Celebrity Rumors Ever --from the editors at Nerve (and maybe nsfw, textwise). Sex, drugs, rock n roll, deaths, more sex, more drugs, etc. Dive in. But be careful. This stuff doesn't wash off.
posted by amberglow (27 comments total)

I predict there will be problems with #26.
posted by drezdn at 4:27 PM on December 12, 2006

I think #2 might be written by a Mefite. Just seems like their style...
posted by cloeburner at 4:36 PM on December 12, 2006

Well, #1 was what I expected.
posted by smackfu at 4:36 PM on December 12, 2006

I still think Suri Cruise is a photoshop.
posted by Saucy Intruder at 4:36 PM on December 12, 2006

Most celebrity rumours, when I heard them, make me think "And? You should see some of the shit my neighbour does."
posted by Captaintripps at 4:37 PM on December 12, 2006

No Rod Stewart blowing 50 guys?

Amatoors.
posted by jonmc at 4:52 PM on December 12, 2006

jonmc: Miss #6?
posted by xiojason at 4:53 PM on December 12, 2006

30. Keanu Reeves married David Geffen
... The simple fact is, this rumor couldn't possibly be true, because it would make Keanu Reeves ever-so-slightly interesting, if only by association. —

Ha. Funny.

17. Marilyn Manson, sitcom star
... In 2001 Saviano told Star that he didn't mind being mistaken for the rocker. "What would you rather have, people thinking you're a dorky kid from The Wonder Years or a Satanic rock star?"

Guy raises a good point. I'd rather be universally reviled for being the scary guy who's music your parents wouldn't let you listen to, than be universally reviled for being on the Wonder Years.

Thanks amberglow, normally these kinds of lists bug me, but this one was pretty entertaining, and dare I say it... informative.
posted by quin at 5:28 PM on December 12, 2006

I've lived a sheltered life....I hadn't even heard a lot of those! LOL
posted by Tambo at 5:36 PM on December 12, 2006

Zappa had something to say about #27.
posted by fixedgear at 5:37 PM on December 12, 2006

Nothing about the Brando blow Job? (NSFW!)
posted by Astro Zombie at 5:39 PM on December 12, 2006

Josh Saviano's day job
posted by John Shaft at 5:54 PM on December 12, 2006

fixedgear- yep, and long before Hammer of the Gods came out.
posted by papakwanz at 6:18 PM on December 12, 2006

Stevie Knicks, I am interested in your ideas and would like to subscribe to your pamphlets.
posted by Deep Dish at 6:58 PM on December 12, 2006

I've also heard that Debbie Gibson is pregnant with some redneck's two-headed love child.
posted by jonmc at 7:01 PM on December 12, 2006

The spunky stomach pump rumour was a strictly Marc Almond thing when I was little (interesting that the best known and most perverse of these rumours are only spoken about among children).
posted by jack_mo at 7:14 PM on December 12, 2006

No, that dude is too busy Stuffin' Martha's Muffin.
posted by erskelyne at 7:16 PM on December 12, 2006

So, Paul isn't dead after all?
posted by mr_crash_davis at 7:47 PM on December 12, 2006

Some have said that the rumor about Mick Jagger and David Bowie having an affair in the '70s was fueled by prurient homophobia. We prefer to think it became popular because it's fucking hot.
posted by nuclear_soup at 7:51 PM on December 12, 2006 [2 favorites]

Back in my day, the football gangbang was attributed to Alanis Morrisette and the semen stomach pump recipient was Joey from New Kids on the Block.

I remember telling my mom the last one, hoping she'd enlighten me as to what the hell semen was.

Hopefully, once she decides to start talking to me again, she'll tell me.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 8:15 PM on December 12, 2006

32 is not a rumor.
posted by kirkaracha at 9:42 PM on December 12, 2006

I heard the stomach story with the New Kids too.
posted by drezdn at 6:59 AM on December 13, 2006

Stomach story was Marc Almond, man! Someone told me his autobiography starts with something like, 'No, I did not have 18 different types of semen pumped out of my stomach'.
posted by Mocata at 7:55 AM on December 13, 2006

Back in my day, the football gangbang was attributed to Alanis Morrisette

A guy I worked with swore that he witnessed Alanis shagging a guy on the hood of a car outside of Glebe High School
posted by smcniven at 7:55 AM on December 13, 2006

It's funny - I guess these things migrate from generation to generation... first the 70s (Rod Stewart), then the 80s (Marc Almond) then the 80s (New Kids) and then the 90s (Alanis - assuming it wasn't the Pop Alanis). I don't know if it means memes can hopscotch across time, or if it just means some things have a bad aftertaste. (sorry, couldn't resist).
posted by rmm at 8:21 AM on December 13, 2006

I've read some pretty conclusive reports regarding Kate Hepburn's relationships with women, so I think it's bunk that this is on the same list as Mikey and Pop Rocks.

Same with J. Edgar Hoover, actually.

Most of these kinds of wild rumors generate from the fantasy that celebrities have more interesting personal lives than the rest of us. For the most part, they really don't.
posted by hermitosis at 11:14 AM on December 13, 2006

See msnbc, scroll down for more on Richard Gere/gerbil.
posted by fixedgear at 12:00 PM on December 13, 2006