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Horror Saturday
August 11, 2007 2:42 PM   Subscribe

Your teenage son loves terrible horror movies, like C.H.U.D. How do you mend his ways? Well, you start with Paranoiac, and move on to Ravenous 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8,9,10,11,12. While he's still quaking, show him Takashi Miike's brutal Ôdishon ( even YouTube won't air those scenes.) Lighten the coming dark with Shaun of the Dead.
posted by Mblue (46 comments total) 10 users marked this as a favorite

 
CHUD was the shit.

But seriously, CHUD is a different kind of terrible from, say, Friday the 13th: Part Eleventy.
posted by Pope Guilty at 2:45 PM on August 11, 2007


I'm sorry, Mblue, but your teenage son does not have terrible taste in horror movies. Let me know when he expresses his admiration for the remake of The Hills Have Eyes. THEN you've got a problem. C.H.U.D. rules!

(Meanwhile, I hope you're prepared to bankroll the inevitable years of therapy after he watches Audition...)
posted by kittens for breakfast at 2:51 PM on August 11, 2007


Bob the Angry Flower's version
posted by aubilenon at 2:53 PM on August 11, 2007


I enjoyed Ravenous.

I think it was mainly because of the soundtrack.

Oh, and the That was...really...sneaky bit.
posted by M Edward at 2:54 PM on August 11, 2007


Ravenous is an awesome movie. The score is brilliant. Very weird film.

But... uh... you're linking to a major studio film in its entirely?
posted by brundlefly at 3:03 PM on August 11, 2007


A bunch of trailers and an entire film, though admittedly entertaining, in 12 low-quality videos on youtube? Pretty fucking weak.
posted by slimepuppy at 3:06 PM on August 11, 2007 [1 favorite]


"He was LICKING ME!"

Ravenous rocks. But yeah, linking to the whole thing? Prolly not such a hot idea.
posted by quin at 3:10 PM on August 11, 2007


If you haven't done so, you must watch CHUD with the commentary track. It may be one of the funniest things I have ever heard.
posted by Astro Zombie at 3:23 PM on August 11, 2007


I will say that in a sense, knowing anything about Odishon before seeing it -- even just an adjective describing it -- is a bit of a spoiler.

It is an amazing movie, though. When I showed it to my ex-wife, she refused to talk to me for a week. Perhaps that's why we're no longer married.
posted by papakwanz at 3:25 PM on August 11, 2007


Mea culpa. I linked it because it was there. The whole "why'd you climb the mountain" thing. On another note, Chud has its supporters. I still don't understand why, but different strokes, eh?
posted by Mblue at 3:27 PM on August 11, 2007


"When I showed it to my ex-wife, she refused to talk to me for a week."

I had a similar experience with Brazil.
But at least then I wasn't the only one in the theater who laughed, like when I saw Taxi Driver
posted by hexatron at 3:52 PM on August 11, 2007


I got the silent treatment for taking a girl to 'Crash' (hey, I'd loved Cronenberg's earlier films (the Fly still ranks way up there on good horror).

And I bought Ravenous new for $12.
It's not like it's some blockbuster money maker for the director or studio. It looks and sounds much better, and having it available to people who answer yes to 'do you want to see something really scary?'

never seen CHUD, though, so what do I know?
posted by Busithoth at 4:09 PM on August 11, 2007


Didn't read closely enough -- when I first saw this post, I thought it was in reference to chud.com's recent list of the editors' 50 favorite guilty pleasures. One worth perusing for those interested in

i'm too lazy to finish this comment, just go read that thing
posted by jimmy at 4:41 PM on August 11, 2007


I think C.H.U.D. has its supporters mainly because, for about the first five years of video stores, it had one of the most interesting box jackets on the shelf. I remember looking at it over and over again but somehow never renting it.
posted by autodidact at 4:48 PM on August 11, 2007


Busithoth, David Cronenberg rocks. The Brood still makes me shiver.
posted by Mblue at 4:56 PM on August 11, 2007


even YouTube won't air those scenes.

Looks like that whole movie is on youtube too.
posted by yeti at 5:04 PM on August 11, 2007


Audition is one of the freakiest goddamn movies I've ever seen, and I've seen a lot of freaky god damn movies.

On the tangent of movies that have earned one the silent treatment or worse: I once took an ex to see Sin City and spent the rest of the night being accused of having pedophile rape fantasies. Not a date movie, apparently.
posted by shmegegge at 5:13 PM on August 11, 2007


Also I just watched the first 2 and a half minutes of ravenous and I can't tell if they're doing something really right or everything really really wrong.
posted by shmegegge at 5:16 PM on August 11, 2007


It's really right, shmegegge. It's a black comedy that actually manages to be both dark and unexpectedly funny.

It sells itself as one thing, and delivers something much, much better.
posted by quin at 5:31 PM on August 11, 2007


If you follow CHUD with Shaun, you should also serve a special chaser to Ravenous: Cannibal the Musical (YouTube sample).
posted by PontifexPrimus at 5:40 PM on August 11, 2007


Wow, I didn't realize that CHUD was a prequel to The Descent (AKA "Bitch, Don't Go In There, The Movie").


And yeah, all hail the Cronenberg. He's shpadoinkly.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 5:45 PM on August 11, 2007 [1 favorite]


If you follow CHUD with Shaun... Cannibal the Musical

Yes. Troma films meets the guys from South Park. Madness.

And if you are still in a Shaun kind of place, you should see Spaced. Which is most of the cast of SotD, and was (episode 3) where the idea to make Shaun actually came from.

It is brilliant and available in the usual places.
posted by quin at 5:46 PM on August 11, 2007


Ambrosia Voyeur shpadoinkly.

I give you a long distance kiss for that word.
posted by Mblue at 5:56 PM on August 11, 2007


shmegegge: When I saw Sin City in the theater, there was a couple of high school kids making out the entire time, so I guess ymmv on that one.
posted by papakwanz at 6:55 PM on August 11, 2007


Ravenous was an entertaining, darkly humorous and over-the-top horror movie that I readily join in recommending.

But ... for those not put off by subtitles and looking for something hauntingly disturbing and unpredictably surreal (but not 'off-puttingly' surreal like, perhaps, some of David Lynch's films) ... Audition is about as out there as I ever want to be taken. It starts out slowly and subtly, as a lonely, middle-aged guy embarks on an unconventional and, er, dishonest approach to finding a new girlfriend ... and then the film veers off in altogether different and horrifically unforgettable directions. And yes, it appears that the whole thing has been posted in 13 parts on youtube, at least as of this posting. It's worth renting, or even buying (list price is just $14.95 for the DVD, and of course it's readily found online for less at the usual sites).

Another Japanese horror film (not at all on a par with Audition, but still worth seeing if you don't mind subtitles) that you may not've heard a lot about is Uzumaki, the Japanese word for spirals. It's an imaginative 'psychological thriller,' mainly, and probably not for those who need everything tidily explained. The trailer is here via youtube, along with a more extended unofficial 'fan remix' trailer (may contain spoilers) here.
posted by NetizenKen at 7:03 PM on August 11, 2007


Nick Frost and Simon Pegg doing a "how to" for surviving zombie attacks. i think it's pre shaun of the dead.
posted by andywolf at 7:37 PM on August 11, 2007 [1 favorite]


Also I just watched the first 2 and a half minutes of ravenous and I can't tell if they're doing something really right or everything really really wrong.

Exactly. And the whole movie is like that, it's part schlock horror-comedy, part serious character/history study and part something really dark and icky. Very few movies succeed at keeping you off-balance that well, it's like it's a small look into a bit of some really bizarre alternate universe. If you can relax and go along for the ride, it's a lot of fun. And it's truly beautifully filmed and has some wonderful stunt sequences for added goodness. I hate the soundtrack music but even so I admit it's perfect for the movie.

I adore Ravenous, but loads of people absolutely hate it and I can certainly see why.
posted by biscotti at 8:52 PM on August 11, 2007


THAT was great!
posted by ZachsMind at 8:58 PM on August 11, 2007


MehFilter
posted by PostIronyIsNotaMyth at 11:26 PM on August 11, 2007


Don't make him watch Threads. Don't make him watch Threads. Don't make him watch Threads. [mefi]
posted by kid ichorous at 11:58 PM on August 11, 2007


Get him a chaperone, a plane ticket to Austin, and a badge for Fantastic Fest. Jesus, I can't wait!
posted by theperfectcrime at 12:33 AM on August 12, 2007


scariest movie i ever saw. (warning: spoileriffic.)

for anyone preferring not to know the plot, it's called don't be afraid of the dark and it just screened here in SF at the dead channels fest. i just couldn't bring myself to see it, so sure i would suffered the night terrors if i did.

oh, and - i LOVE audition, i think it would be a great date movie.
posted by lapolla at 1:08 AM on August 12, 2007


jimmy writes "Didn't read closely enough -- when I first saw this post, I thought it was in reference to chud.com's recent list of the editors' 50 favorite guilty pleasures."

I was thinking the same thing. C.H.U.D. is, of course, on the list.
posted by brundlefly at 3:04 AM on August 12, 2007


Audition is one of the freakiest goddamn movies I've ever seen, and I've seen a lot of freaky god damn movies.

And Audition's one of Miike's milder films in some ways.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 3:24 AM on August 12, 2007


in some ways, totally. I saw Ichi the Killer, and it was certainly far more gory and had a lot more... shit, I don't know what to call it... attitude? But it didn't give me nightmares the way audition did. not even close.
posted by shmegegge at 4:01 AM on August 12, 2007


Try Visitor Q or Gozu, two of my faves! Crazy crazy (horrible, brain-sandpapering) stuff.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 4:35 AM on August 12, 2007


Visitor Q horrible? Nonsense. Visitor Q is a, ultimately, a family comedy about the possibility of redemption through individuality and acceptance. And the guy getting repeatedly bonked on the head from behind always slays me.

Why is everyone moving away from me? Guys?






Guys?
posted by howfar at 5:31 AM on August 12, 2007 [1 favorite]


I'm so glad to see so many who also loved Ravenous! What biscotti said, exactly.
posted by LeeJay at 6:19 AM on August 12, 2007


I always thought of Audition as a modern morality tale, really. The guy gets punished for his actions. There are plenty of loving women his own age who are interested around him, but he only has eyes for a 20-something pretty actress that he met through rather devious means. He brings his ultimate fate on himself. Whether the punishment fits the crime is another question, but he's not that far removed from the teenagers that get slaughtered for doing drugs and having sex in the Friday the 13th movies. A really fascinating movie all in all and definitely deserving of a few rewatches.
posted by slimepuppy at 7:13 AM on August 12, 2007


I got the silent treatment for taking a girl to 'Crash'

You are dating the wrong girls. Anyone who doesn't think that Tetsuo the Iron Man is a great date flick is probbaly better off not going to the movies with.
posted by jessamyn at 8:36 AM on August 12, 2007 [2 favorites]


wow, jessamyn. while I think you're right about that particular girl, Tetsuo's upping the ante even further.
posted by Busithoth at 8:45 AM on August 12, 2007


Audition is probably my favourite Miike ever. But I must admit I've seen of him just the batshitinsane things like Izo and Zebraman. Ichi is too scary for me (I've read some of the manga and it's disgusting).
posted by darkripper at 10:04 AM on August 12, 2007


The animated Ichi prequel is pretty good too. It makes the original that much more enjoyable.

I love the way that Audition drags for so long. The first time I saw it, I thought it was just some weird romantic comedy with funky angled shots for the first hour or so.

Visitor Q is without a doubt the most fucked up movie I have ever seen.
posted by solipsophistocracy at 1:08 PM on August 12, 2007


Visitor Q is a, ultimately, a family comedy

Heh. Actually, Miike's The Happiness of the Katakuris, a remake of a Korean movie, actually kind of is that. A musical comedy, no less. Still, it's Miike, so it's freaky.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 7:44 PM on August 12, 2007


As far as "test of date material" movies, the two I tend to use are "Dog Bite Dog" and "All About Lily Chou Chou." Neither is horror, but both ravage your brain as good as any of the real master horror films.

Oh, and another positive vote for C.H.U.D. Damn how I miss "USA's UP! All Night" with Gilbert Gottfried ( which showed C.H.U.D. 2! )
posted by zap rowsdower at 9:08 PM on August 12, 2007


Gottfried!? Fuck that shit! Rhonda Shear!
posted by brundlefly at 2:48 AM on August 14, 2007


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