Kinky inky

October 16, 2007 8:43 PM

Way too much thought about tentacle porn on this page, which details the history, current usage, and 'media' coverage of what to many seems the extreme of internet porn weirdness. Also covered are Lovecraftian stories, trinkets, movies, bestiality-inspired poetry and modern pictorial porn (this is weird porn, NSFW, I'm warning you). Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to bleach my mind.
posted by Kickstart70 (41 comments total)

Realistically, though, it's SO not the extreme of internet porn weirdness.
posted by jonson at 8:54 PM on October 16, 2007 [10 favorites]

Auugh! My eyes!

It's comic sans!
posted by tss at 8:54 PM on October 16, 2007 [7 favorites]

SORTA WANT
posted by wfrgms at 8:55 PM on October 16, 2007

I could go on... but should I?
posted by jonson at 8:56 PM on October 16, 2007 [1 favorite]

I'm so glad you decided to share.
You know, sometimes when I'm downloading porn, I think, "Hey, I bet some other people can't find this type of porn." or, " Hey, I bet some other people would really be interested in the type of porn I'm downloading right now."
But be warned. Sometimes people don't really want to be subjected to the crazy stuff you and I like.

-Mr. Hands
posted by Balisong at 8:57 PM on October 16, 2007

I am now just a little worried about jonson's directory structure, in that he had all those so readily-available.
posted by yhbc at 9:01 PM on October 16, 2007 [3 favorites]

Balisong...the thing is that I was not looking for porn. In fact, I was surprised to run into this. I was looking for examples of art from the Edo period of Japan...specifically a picture I remember of a tiger-looking dragon...when I clicked on this.

I thought it was interesting enough to share, because it's interesting to me.

FWIW, I don't find this sexually appealing in the slightest.
posted by Kickstart70 at 9:03 PM on October 16, 2007

Tentacle rape Edo style
posted by hortense at 9:07 PM on October 16, 2007

FWIW, I don't find this sexually appealing in the slightest. Thats what she said.
posted by Sailormom at 9:08 PM on October 16, 2007

Really, the best part of that link is the word 'necroctoporn.' Also, sadly, it links to some Leda art but not the oddly explicit Botero Leda.
posted by louie at 9:11 PM on October 16, 2007

I'm pretty sure the first exposure I had to tentacle rape was La Blue Girl, which I rented whilst on a huge anime kick, not knowing a thing about it.

Needless to say, it's content was... unexpected.

Though it did became a metric by which we could judge the depravity of future events.

"Yeah, it was a pretty fucked up scene. I'd say it was at least .75 LBG"

"Woah, ok cool. I'll definitely avoid it."
posted by quin at 9:18 PM on October 16, 2007 [1 favorite]

You know, for a time I had satisfied myself with lolhypocritedildopuptheassdeadxian porn. I had forgotten how truly vanilla that was. Until now.
posted by WolfDaddy at 9:20 PM on October 16, 2007

Offtopic, but if anyone knows of the tiger-dragon Edo print I was originally looking for, I'd appreciate finding it.
posted by Kickstart70 at 9:21 PM on October 16, 2007

Don't get me wrong...
I still think I can get off on this stuff. In fact, I think I might have to get one of those ivory netsuke figurines.
The erotic ones I've seen before are kinda pricy, so I bet the specialized ones go for a bundle.
posted by Balisong at 9:21 PM on October 16, 2007

I was going to link the "octpussy" video, but decided to be the better person. Nobody should see that. Not even Johnson.
posted by louche mustachio at 9:22 PM on October 16, 2007

See, jonson, now THIS is what I call a quality post!

(Actually, this is what I call someone pouring boric acid into my brain, but, you know, six of one....)
posted by kittens for breakfast at 9:29 PM on October 16, 2007

Wow:

I'm just wondering where all the MetaCops who show up complaining something isn't worthy of being on the blue when someone posts a double about the War or politics or something is an FPP are now.

This is just plain disgusting, has nothing to do with culture, art, tech, or anything relating to much more than the most prurient interests of mentally ill people.

Then again...the second you call it art......well....that's a government grant to pay your bills for a year.

Really.....this should have been deleted before I even had a chance to comment.

OK...just cue up all the people who want to make arguments for interspecies love and why it is relevant to Second Life or whatever.

also

get the hell off my lawn
posted by timsteil at 9:40 PM on October 16, 2007 [3 favorites]

EctoFilter
posted by homunculus at 9:41 PM on October 16, 2007

Last week I started a new site about Canadian culture and so far the most popular search term leading people to it is "tentacle sex." I swear to Cthulu there is no tentacle sex on the site....
posted by showmethecalvino at 9:45 PM on October 16, 2007

You know what I like.
posted by Balisong at 9:45 PM on October 16, 2007 [1 favorite]

Okay, NO.

You say "weird porn", people think "It's two dudes dressed up as characters from Golden Girls" or something.

You don't think OH MY GOD THAT WOMAN HAS AN OCTOPUS AND HER VAGINA IN THE SAME GENERAL AREA.

That's it. We can just cancel humanity now. Pointless.
posted by thehmsbeagle at 9:56 PM on October 16, 2007 [2 favorites]

Clear private data...clear browsing history...clear private data...
posted by click at 10:22 PM on October 16, 2007 [6 favorites]

timsteil: This is just plain disgusting, has nothing to do with culture, art, tech, or anything relating to much more than the most prurient interests of mentally ill people.

Plain disgusting: yes

Has nothing to do with:

Culture: no. Japan can be considered a culture.
Art: no. Anime can be considered an art form.
Tech: no. There is a lot of technology that goes into anime.

Prurient interests: Maybe. I'll not argue that tentacle porn is disturbing to many people, but I've seen it in enough mainstream Japanese movies to suspect that I, as a mid-Western American might not be the best judge of it as a cultural artifact.

You don't like it, that's fine. I don't like it either. But I suspect that neither of us are equipped to judge it based on our cultural backgrounds.

[which is a roundabout way of suggesting that I've seen some really great anime movies that featured this less than awesome plot device. And I was able to ignore it.]

Also, 'mentally ill?' are you trying to troll?
posted by quin at 10:32 PM on October 16, 2007 [1 favorite]

Way too much thought about tentacle porn

As opposed to just enough thought about tentacle porn?
posted by Curry at 10:49 PM on October 16, 2007 [3 favorites]

Some things are SFW but just have the feel of tentacle porn.
posted by nickyskye at 12:09 AM on October 17, 2007

Yes! another excuse to post the pterodactyl porn link. I'm not actually into anything as mundane as pterodactyl porn, but for some reason I find this clip insanely funny.
posted by BrotherCaine at 2:14 AM on October 17, 2007 [2 favorites]

Tentacle porn! (SFW but not for your rep)
posted by Sparx at 3:23 AM on October 17, 2007

Fer fucks sake. BestialityFilter?

I'm pretty sure someone once posted a video on MetaFilter of a squirming squid disappear into a vag. I'm pretty sure it was revolting.
posted by dgaicun at 4:07 AM on October 17, 2007

I'm pretty sure someone once posted a video on MetaFilter of a squirming squid disappear into a vag. I'm pretty sure it was revolting.

Please tell me you're referring to an animation clip. PLEASE TELL ME THIS NOW EVEN IF IT IS A LIE.
posted by kittens for breakfast at 4:17 AM on October 17, 2007 [4 favorites]

Wow people are weird. Who draws these? And how to you justify your job? It would be like "I draw tentacle porn for a living. It's both a emotionally and financially rewarding career!"
posted by Mastercheddaar at 5:57 AM on October 17, 2007

Hmmmm ... I normally would just avoid a porn post, but this one is pretty interesting. The Teraoka and Hokusai paintings are exquisite. Erotic!

Maybe you guys who are having problems with this just don't know much about women's fantasies??
posted by Surfurrus at 7:37 AM on October 17, 2007

Maybe you guys who are having problems with this just don't know much about women's fantasies??
posted by Surfurrus at 7:37 AM on October 17 [+] [!]

Women's fantasies?

I hope your sarcasm is simply hard to detect.
posted by nonmerci at 8:38 AM on October 17, 2007 [2 favorites]

Calamari Damacy.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 9:46 AM on October 17, 2007 [2 favorites]

Ah, here's the comment. Not entirely as I remember it.
posted by dgaicun at 10:20 AM on October 17, 2007

I like Pink Tentacle :)
posted by nickyskye at 10:37 AM on October 17, 2007

people think "It's two dudes dressed up as characters from Golden Girls"

thehmsbeagle, thanks for that image, which I am currently using to scrub my brain fresh (well, as fresh as Golden Girls fantasy roleplay can get) after foolishly clicking on just one of Jonson's links and seeing Things That Should Not Be In My Brain.
posted by Elsa at 4:27 PM on October 17, 2007

Jesus, did Warren Ellis take over the blue today?
posted by zerolives at 6:24 PM on October 17, 2007

I think I may have to sue jonson for damages. Mental damage and, after driving pencils through my eyes to stop the seeing, brain damage.

Damn you, jonson!
posted by five fresh fish at 8:23 PM on October 17, 2007

I WIN!!!
posted by jonson at 8:55 AM on October 18, 2007

Why oh why did i click? After all these years online you'd think I'd know better. *bleaches eyes*
posted by sleep_walker at 3:02 PM on October 19, 2007

timsteil writes "I'm just wondering where all the MetaCops who show up complaining something isn't worthy of being on the blue when someone posts a double about the War or politics or something is an FPP are now."

Well, some of them are probably in this thread, and some might be in some other thread, and others might be asleep or at work or working in the garden or something. You think they should all be here in this thread complaining that a post about tentacle porn is somehow a double post about the war or politics?
posted by Bugbread at 4:05 PM on October 19, 2007