Join 3,512 readers in helping fund MetaFilter (Hide)


No more squeezin'
November 19, 2007 10:59 AM   Subscribe

Mr. Whipple is dead. Long live Mr. Whipple. Oh how we loved you.

The alternatives will just never compare.
(PLEASE do not miss the first link in "alternatives." You will be sorry.)
posted by miss lynnster (62 comments total) 2 users marked this as a favorite

 
Damn. That sucks. One more bit of childhood ephemera gone.

.
posted by Thorzdad at 11:04 AM on November 19, 2007


.

Aw, man.
(spools out a fresh roll of Charmin on the curb)
posted by porn in the woods at 11:08 AM on November 19, 2007 [2 favorites]


*dabs at tears and squeezes Charmin*
posted by fandango_matt at 11:08 AM on November 19, 2007


To think they sank from Mr. Whipple and them there singers on moving boxes, who were magnificent in a 70s giant-sideburns sort of way, down to the depths of horrible cavorting poop bears that haunt my nightmares. Shame, Charmin, shame.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 11:09 AM on November 19, 2007


*dabs at tears and squeezes Charmin*

*squeezes something else, dabs at something that ain't tears*
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 11:10 AM on November 19, 2007 [2 favorites]


Okay, reality check. Nothing against Dick Wilson, who was feeding his family, but the Charmin commercials were a prime example of the contempt with which advertisers held the intelligence of American audiences in that era. These asinine commercials were torture, and worse, they were unavoidable, as P&G, the first company with a billion-dollar ad budget, plagued the airwaves with them constantly.
posted by QuietDesperation at 11:14 AM on November 19, 2007


Yeah, you're right QuietDesperation. Things are sooooooo much better now.
posted by miss lynnster at 11:15 AM on November 19, 2007


I'm with QuietDesperation. I am sure the actor Dick Wilson, was a very nice man and will be greatly missed by his friends and family, but I will shed no more tears at the eventual, inevitable, passing of the "zoom-zoom!" kid than I am for Mr. Whipple.
posted by yhbc at 11:24 AM on November 19, 2007


.
posted by The Light Fantastic at 11:28 AM on November 19, 2007


.
posted by Unicorn on the cob at 11:28 AM on November 19, 2007


QuietDesperation: relax. they were ads for buttwipes.
posted by jonmc at 11:30 AM on November 19, 2007 [1 favorite]


posted by QuietDesperation the Charmin commercials were a prime example of the contempt with which advertisers held the intelligence of American audiences in that era. These asinine commercials were torture, and worse, they were unavoidable, as P&G, the first company with a billion-dollar ad budget, plagued the airwaves with them constantly.

Say what? The "Mr. Whipple" campaign was the work of Benton & Bowles in the mid '60s, running from 1965 until 1989. In 1979 a poll showed Mr. Whipple was the third best known American, behind Richard Nixon and Billy Graham. Over forty years later, Mr. Whipple continues to live on as an icon for the Charmin brand. That's a brilliant--and tremendously successful--ad campaign. Today's ad agencies can only wish they could be one-tenth as brilliant as the folks who invented Mr Whipple.
posted by fandango_matt at 11:31 AM on November 19, 2007 [1 favorite]


Actually, the title to the FPP is wrong. We have been liberated from the perverse hypocrisy of that selfish despot Mr. Whipple, who was forever commanding others "Don't squeeze the Charmin" while copping secret feels for and by himself.

Now we can squeeze, with abandon, four-pack rolls of plushy cushy Charmin like the disembodied buttocks they are.

*squeezes Charmin, deriving no pleasure*

How dare he die and take his taboo with him. Wiping my bottom will never be the same.

Goodbye, Mr. Whipple. I'll try to think of you at least once a day, mostly likely in the morning right after my bran flakes and coffee.

.
posted by mistersquid at 11:36 AM on November 19, 2007 [3 favorites]


It's sort of funny how back then nobody batted an eye over some middle aged man being obsessed over protecting rolls of asswipe. As I grew older, every time I saw one of his commercials, I always found his obsession somewhat creepy and unsettling. Yes Mr. Whipple; at the expense of all else we MUST PROTECT THESE ROLLS OF PAPER WHICH ARE USED TO WIPE THE EXCREMENT OFF OF AMERICA"S BOTTOMS!!
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 11:37 AM on November 19, 2007


Mr Whipple was still alive??
posted by DU at 11:39 AM on November 19, 2007 [1 favorite]


I will shed no more tears at the eventual, inevitable, passing of the "zoom-zoom!" kid than I am for Mr. Whipple.

I like that kid.
posted by DU at 11:41 AM on November 19, 2007


Today's ad agencies can only wish they could be one-tenth as brilliant as the folks who invented Mr Whipple.

I think it works both ways. While I'll always associate Mr. Whipple with Charmin as it is now embedded in my DNA, there was another commercial from the 70s that haunts me to this day. I can't remember the product but I remember the loud, overbearing wife who sells out her huband:

"My husband! Some hotshot. Here's his ancient Chinese secret...."
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 11:43 AM on November 19, 2007


For Kevin
posted by mediareport at 11:47 AM on November 19, 2007


Was that the Raid ad lady who cried, "Roaches! Ants! Flying bugs!" as she frantically swatted the floor with a broom?
posted by fandango_matt at 11:50 AM on November 19, 2007


.

Good bye Mr. Whipple, you closeted Charmins squeezer.
posted by Skygazer at 11:50 AM on November 19, 2007


@___
posted by Gungho at 11:51 AM on November 19, 2007 [3 favorites]


from everything2.com:

The original Calgon commercial featured a Mr. Lee and Mrs. Lee who run a laundry. A flummoxed customer can't understand how Mr. Lee (who presumably mans the counter and flirts with female customers while his wife does all the hard work in back) can get shirts so clean. The dialog runs:

Customer: How do you get your shirts so clean, Mr. Lee?

Mr. Lee: Ancient Chinese Secret.

(cut to Mrs. Lee working her ass off in back)

Mrs. Lee: My husband, some hot shot. Here's his ancient Chinese secret. Calgon. Calgon's two water softeners soften wash waters so detergents clean better, In hardest water, Calgon helps detergents get laundry up to 30% cleaner.

(Mrs. Lee then appears from the back with an empty box Calgon)

Mrs. Lee: (yelling at husband and shaking the box in his face) We need more Calgon!

Customer: (to Mr. Lee in an astonished voice) Ancient Chinese Secret, Huh!

posted by stupidsexyFlanders at 11:52 AM on November 19, 2007 [2 favorites]


Holy crap, I'd forgotten about that ad. God damn, that's hilariously offensive.

I must show this to my Chinese wife immediately.
posted by fandango_matt at 11:52 AM on November 19, 2007


And yet nobody ever laments the Ti-D-Bowl Man, presumably lost at sea.
posted by Spatch at 11:52 AM on November 19, 2007 [2 favorites]


Today's ad agencies can only wish they could be one-tenth as brilliant as the folks who invented Mr Whipple.

Not true. You're confusing big adspend with good advertising. I was an ad copywriter for years, and the idea was always to do things that were memorable and at the same time interesting or funny. Consider Bill Bernbach's or Jerry Della Femina's contributions: the VW print ads, those wonderful Alka Seltzer TV ads with their double entendres ("I can't believe I ate the whole thing'). Anyone seeing one of those insipid Charmin commercials once would have forgotten it. However, P&G's policy was always massive exposure, so you would see them every day on every station. That's why you remember them.
posted by QuietDesperation at 11:56 AM on November 19, 2007


.
posted by Smart Dalek at 12:02 PM on November 19, 2007


These asinine commercials were torture, and worse, they were unavoidable, as P&G, the first company with a billion-dollar ad budget, plagued the airwaves with them constantly.

I agree with all of that, and with the rest of your comment.

But it is still true that those ads were like Ibsen compared to the thrice-damned shitbears waving their cartoon bums in our faces.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 12:04 PM on November 19, 2007 [4 favorites]


Mr. Whipple in da house.
posted by mistersquid at 12:05 PM on November 19, 2007


Thanks miss lynnster! Apparently I'm at a loss for other phrases today, so I'll have to say -- that first alternative link blew my mind.
posted by cavalier at 12:07 PM on November 19, 2007


posted by QuietDesperation You're confusing big adspend with good advertising. I was an ad copywriter for years, and the idea was always to do things that were memorable and at the same time interesting or funny. Consider Bill Bernbach's or Jerry Della Femina's contributions: the VW print ads, those wonderful Alka Seltzer TV ads with their double entendres ("I can't believe I ate the whole thing'). Anyone seeing one of those insipid Charmin commercials once would have forgotten it. However, P&G's policy was always massive exposure, so you would see them every day on every station. That's why you remember them.

Interesting, because I too have worked for large ad agencies. I'd submit the reason we remember Mr. Whipple was due to both massive exposure and a memorable hook: "Squeezably Soft." While P&G indeed flooded the market with their ads, there's no denying one of the reasons the Mr. Whipple campaign and brand icon was so successful was due to its inherent, memorable silliness. The fact Mr. Whipple lives on forty years after his launch--well, that's good advertising and branding, no matter how you slice it.
posted by fandango_matt at 12:10 PM on November 19, 2007


I remember the Charmin ads because it was some old guy telling me not to do something. It was the 70's, man, you couldn't tell us not to do something. Don't squeeze the Charmin? Screw you, I'm squeezin' it! And I'm buying more next week and squeezin' it again. Take that, establishment!
posted by hojoki at 12:12 PM on November 19, 2007


Didn't they once say on Mythbusters that Adam Savage's TV debut was in a Charmin commercial?
posted by homunculus at 12:21 PM on November 19, 2007


I still miss Michael Vale, AKA Fred The Baker.

"It's Time To Make The Donuts"... in Heaven.
posted by Fuzzy Monster at 12:27 PM on November 19, 2007 [2 favorites]


Things are sooooooo much better now.

Today's commericals suck in new and different ways, but at least we have a skip button now. Does anyone really still watch ads?

Other than on Superbowl Sunday when we are punished for all that skipping.
posted by itchylick at 12:28 PM on November 19, 2007


Mr. Whipple might be gone, but the social Conservatism movement he helped create is still with us: people like Ted Haggard, Larry Craig, Rush Limbaugh, who so adamantly warned us not to squeeze the Charmin of personal irresponsibility, and then were so hilariously caught throttling away at their own tightly-held rolls.

Bon voyage, my hyper-vigilant stock clerk. Your legacy is in good hands.
posted by PlusDistance at 12:32 PM on November 19, 2007


"You better squeeze all the Charmin you can,
when Mr Whipple's not around.
Stick your head in the microwave and give yourself a tan!"

/Weird Al, Dare To Be Stupid
posted by autodidact at 12:35 PM on November 19, 2007


Gungho writes: @___

No, no, goddamit, it's

______
@
posted by not_on_display at 12:36 PM on November 19, 2007 [2 favorites]


How can this be the first post ever to use the "squeezing" tag?

Reminded me of the AT hiker my friend met who ate a squeeze bottle of margarine every day because it was the most space-effective way to carry the requisite number of calories. Fortunately, that was before YouTube.
posted by Ella Fynoe at 12:37 PM on November 19, 2007


.[/defiantly squeezes Charmin now that the now that civil order has crumbled. ]
posted by zorro astor at 12:53 PM on November 19, 2007


Ah, yup, asavage was the stock boy.
posted by homunculus at 1:07 PM on November 19, 2007


On the next 'Mythbusters':

If you squeeze the Charmin in a car trapped underwater... what happens?
posted by Fuzzy Monster at 1:26 PM on November 19, 2007


Even before the first sentence of the FPP was over, I knew this would be a much-commented-upon thread.
posted by DenOfSizer at 1:56 PM on November 19, 2007


EVERYTHING was cheesy back in the day. EVERYTHING.

Farewell, Mr Whipple. I listened to you, kept my hands off the Charmin, and saved money by buying Scott instead.
posted by konolia at 2:07 PM on November 19, 2007


I grew up in that era... think of this... walking down the aisle at the grocery store, it was almost expected that you would reach out and squeeze the Charmin... and, hell, since you already had your hand on it, you might as well buy that brand...

it worked...

"Farewell, Mr Whipple. I listened to you, kept my hands off the Charmin, and saved money by buying Scott instead."
posted by konolia


except, evidently for konolia, who did whatever he was told and never had any fun....
posted by HuronBob at 2:19 PM on November 19, 2007


It was being counter-counter culture. Plus I am CHEAP when it comes to something I plan to flush.
posted by konolia at 2:28 PM on November 19, 2007


Hey, Mr. Whipple was also hated back in the day. I think they even put it up to a poll once whether they would continue them (he won, narrowly). A later newspaper column found them the most hated ads of all time. I know my family detested their vapidity and cheesiness.

But you have to admit it wasn't just the ad budget that made them successful. There are two aspects that really made it a home run of an ad campaign/hook. First, the obvious reverse psychology angle. They want people squeezing the rolls in the store, because they think they have a winning brand difference (and if they don't they want the association anyway). But second you have the creepy sexual subtext. Squeezing, as ROU_Xenophobe pointed out, is what you do in order to use the product. And just watch the way his fingers "play" the paper rolls. It's anal eroticism before anal eroticism dared speak its name.
posted by dhartung at 3:16 PM on November 19, 2007


They beat the shit out of those stupid dinglebears.
posted by cookie-k at 3:49 PM on November 19, 2007


This is not at all directed at homonculous, but do all roads here HAVE to always lead to asavage? It comes across as kinda creepy sometimes, especially when his name is brought up as a total nonsequitor to the topic (although yes, I understand that this time he is apparently linked to the Whipple ouvre).

The man seems nice and I enjoy his show, but think about it... 139 people link to him as their contact. He links back to NOBODY. And I don't blame him one tiny bit, ya freakin' sycophants with your stalkery celebrity batsignals! I'd be keeping my distance and avoiding prolonged eye contact with ya too.


Okay, I got that off my chest. I'm fine now. Please resume in memoriam Charmin squeezing.
posted by miss lynnster at 3:59 PM on November 19, 2007


Squeezing, as ROU_Xenophobe pointed out

I'm pretty sure that's an insult to the act of pointing things out.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 4:57 PM on November 19, 2007


i had always hoped mr. whipple would stop by my house one morning and wipe my ass... with his mustache.
posted by kitchenrat at 5:03 PM on November 19, 2007


He's squeezin' that big roll a' Charmin in the sky, now!
posted by flapjax at midnite at 5:46 PM on November 19, 2007


I think the first time I touched a girl's butt, I said, "Oops, squeezed the Charmin!"



.
posted by snsranch at 6:04 PM on November 19, 2007


God I hate those fucking bears.
posted by Skygazer at 6:41 PM on November 19, 2007


.
posted by pearlybob at 6:44 PM on November 19, 2007


God I hate those fucking bears.

Those bears are the real Axis of Evil.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 6:52 PM on November 19, 2007


As a child growing up in the 70s with the last name "Sherman" -- well, you can imagine how much I hated those damn commercials. How many times did I hear, "Don't squeeze the SHERMAN!"

But geez -- yeah, who knew Mr Whipple was still kickin' it in the year 2007? Good on him, and RIP.
posted by davidmsc at 7:19 PM on November 19, 2007


Those bears are just asking for it.
posted by Skygazer at 7:21 PM on November 19, 2007


Say what you like about the shitbears, they're still better than Snuggles the Fabric Softener Lovecraftian-Nightmare Bear.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 7:33 PM on November 19, 2007 [1 favorite]


(Mrs. Lee then appears from the back with an empty box Calgon)

"Don't worry, Mrs. Jones, all those sex stains came right out!"
posted by bwg at 8:46 PM on November 19, 2007


*panting*

someone here mention asavage?!
posted by The Deej at 11:40 PM on November 19, 2007


But it is still true that those ads were like Ibsen compared to the thrice-damned shitbears waving their cartoon bums in our faces. --ROU_Xenophobe

And this, ladies and gentleman, is both my favorite saying of the day and the reason I read MeFi. Thank you, R. I am soooo using the term "thrice-damned shitbear" at work tomorrow.
posted by Vavuzi at 11:47 PM on November 19, 2007 [1 favorite]


metafilter: horrible cavorting poop bears that haunt my nightmares.
posted by lapolla at 2:04 AM on November 20, 2007 [1 favorite]


« Older "Over and over he scoops up a chick with his left ...  |  The Guardian discusses homeopa... Newer »


This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments