Great Training Montages throughout history

January 2, 2008 1:50 PM

Great Training Montages throughout history And a few of my own choosing to inspire you all to keep to your New Year's resolution-mandated training regimens: Rocky, Rocky II, Rocky III, Rocky IV, Footloose, Team America: World Police, Karate Kid, the Breakfast Club, Flashdance, and arguably the best of all time, Turkish Star Wars
posted by psmealey (41 comments total)

The hours approaching, just give it your best
You've got to reach your prime.
That’s when you need to put yourself to the test,
And show us a passage of time,
We're gonna need a montage
Oh it takes a montage

Show a lot of things happing at once,
Remind everyone of what’s going on
And with every shot you show a little improvement
To show it all would take to long
That’s called a montage
Oh we want montage
posted by Artw at 1:55 PM on January 2 [2 favorites]

Oh, and everybody needs to click on Turkish Star Wars. WTF?
posted by Artw at 1:56 PM on January 2

Stan Chin posted an AskMe question on training montage music that has drastically improved my gym mixes.
posted by painquale at 1:57 PM on January 2

A few questions about Turkish Star Wars. First, why does Turkish Skywalker have to be physically strong? Do you need big strong man muscles to use the Turkish Force? Too bad that after all that physical training, Turkish Skywalker still has no ass.

And why is Turkish Skywalker's roofie-huffing, ex-Bananarama girlfriend rubbing salad on his hands? Is she tending to his man-wounds or tossing in some secret dressing? Either way, yum.

Also, best video ever.
posted by Pastabagel at 2:05 PM on January 2

Turkish Star Wars just rocketed to the top of my BEST THINGS EVER list.
posted by thehmsbeagle at 2:08 PM on January 2

This one from Scarface is particularly egregious. In fact, I think this is the montage that the South Park guys used as their template for "We Need A Montage!"
posted by Afroblanco at 2:10 PM on January 2

If you haven't seen Turkish Star Wars in its mind-wrecking entirety, you ought to. Words are utterly inadequate to describe it. It is the grand canyon of bad movies. Just...gaping there.

I, I need to sit down.
posted by everichon at 2:20 PM on January 2

My friend and I watched Turkish Star Wars the other night. On purpose.

Reading the subtitles provides the best form of entertainment, although it makes the film less intelligible. If that were possible.

"A coating which was formed by compressed human brain molecules was protecting the earth."

"I just.." "but.." "wait, what?!" Those were the best responses either of us could come up with.
posted by ninjew at 2:25 PM on January 2 [2 favorites]

Oh my God, Turkish Star Wars 2. I swear in that trailer there's a fat guy with a toupee, a tuxedo, and a light saber. It's like Star Wars mashed up with Battlestar Galactica and the Jon Pertwee Doctor Who, but with 80's rock video chicks. Wow, just, I mean, wow.
posted by Pastabagel at 2:29 PM on January 2

Also, I would like for some filmmaker to make an exciting montage of the process of becoming a CPA. Cos, you know: it takes a montage.
posted by everichon at 2:29 PM on January 2

Pastabagel, the salad girl is not from Bananarama. That's obviously the chick from Abba.
posted by wsg at 2:31 PM on January 2

Turkish Star Wars - Final Scene is the funniest thing I have ever seen.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 2:33 PM on January 2

IRFH, perhaps you don't know that the Turkish deserts are liberally endowed with naturally-occurring trampolines. And muppet monsters.
posted by everichon at 2:37 PM on January 2

Actually pastabagel and wsg, I think the "salad girl" is Jeanine Pettibone.

And, for real, that Turkish Star Wars montage was so good it made me want to strap rocks to my calves, scratch up some dirt, and look pensive.
posted by suki at 2:41 PM on January 2

Yes, everichon, I've heard of these liberally endowed Turkish delights, but always found them hard to swallow.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 2:43 PM on January 2

When I think movie montages I think of Albert Brooks' Real Life: "Let's show the French what a montage really is."
posted by Slack-a-gogo at 2:45 PM on January 2 [1 favorite]

Let us not forget Italian Spiderman. (Not technically a montage, but oh so good.)
posted by The White Hat at 2:52 PM on January 2

More praise for Turkish Star Wars - that was an utter delight. What a great training regime!

"Luke, go up on that ridge and fuck your wrists up doing pulled chops on rocks. Then tie so rocks to your ankles and fuck your back up jogging. Then jump on the trampoline for awhile."

But I think I laughed the hardest when the little kid started doing punches with better form than Luke, and he comes over to .. incorrect him, I guess?

"stop, stop! you're doing it right!"
posted by EatTheWeak at 3:00 PM on January 2

This post has the Eye of the Tiger.
posted by The Straightener at 3:08 PM on January 2

Spending your day in middle management would make a great montage...but we need the fade-out at the end to make it all serious-like.
posted by fijiwriter at 3:14 PM on January 2

Montages are incredible resources for gymn soundtracks, as pointed out. They can also make you appear to be clever.

A large group of people from my college were in a room watching University Challenge due to our college being on that week. Obviously, this leads to tons of people shouting out the answer to any questions they know the answer to.

A music round came on (this is where they play a clip of a song - can be classical, modern etc., and you identify it). For the starter, the song began with a piano playing. Three notes in, I shouted out "Eminem! Lose Yourself!". The entire room laughed. "It's a classical piece, idiot". The piano continued for another twenty seconds or so.

Then the bass kicked in.

Four months of having that as the first song on my "Workout" playlist had given me the ability to identify "Lose Yourself" within three seconds.

So you see, montages can make you an intellectual.
posted by djgh at 3:26 PM on January 2

(And yes, "Eye of the Tiger" was the second song on the playlist. I'm a sucker for the cliché)
posted by djgh at 3:27 PM on January 2

Training montages are almost as funny as "Strapping on high tech gear and the clicking of weapons montages." Of which, coincidentally, Stallone also has done a number of versions.
posted by tkchrist at 3:29 PM on January 2

tkchrist - Schwarzenegger suiting up in Commando [2.1MB WMV] has always defined that genre for me. Perhaps there's a follow-up post in the making?
posted by djb at 3:37 PM on January 2 [1 favorite]

Arguably, indeed. As much as I love Turkish Star Wars, Rocky IV's is by far the best, if only because Vince DiCola's training montage music is possibly the best single piece of music in any film in history.

I always find myself crying at the end of it, holding my arms above my head triumphantly.
posted by jake at 3:46 PM on January 2

I for one am delighted to discover that Turkey is apparently covered in trampolines and exploding foamcore boulders.
posted by shakespeherian at 3:47 PM on January 2

Ah. Excellent djb.Commando is a drinking game waiting to happen.
posted by tkchrist at 4:00 PM on January 2

I find your lack of Faith (and Giles, and Buffy)... disturbing.
posted by darth_tedious at 4:10 PM on January 2

Tsc, tsc. No 36th Chamber of the Shaolin? The whole movie is pretty much one awesome training montage.
posted by TVC15 at 4:27 PM on January 2

That Turkish Star Wars clip is truly awesome. Is he really rubbing his hands in brussels sprouts at the end?
posted by patricio at 4:33 PM on January 2

jake's got it. Rocky IV is the standard that all training montages are measured against.
posted by Cyrano at 4:38 PM on January 2

you can't forget wet hot american summer, of course.
posted by camdan at 5:52 PM on January 2 [2 favorites]

Great post. The original South Park "montage" song that is the basis for Team America was in is the Asspen episode. Starts about 16 minutes in.
posted by about_time at 6:09 PM on January 2

Highlander, obviously!
posted by Chuckles at 7:30 PM on January 2

I had no idea that Christine McVie was in Turkish Star Wars.

So I... learned something.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 8:13 PM on January 2

I will always, always love the denizens of Metafilter for bringing things like 'Turkish Star Wars' to my attention. Seriously, I love you. All of you.

I'm trying not to cry right now.
posted by Pecinpah at 8:22 PM on January 2

Oh, I forgot the best part about Turkish Star Wars. They steal the soundtrack from the wrong George Lucas film series! That end scene, among others, features the instantly recognizable Indiana Jones theme.
posted by ninjew at 8:26 PM on January 2

Excellently awesome. How odd (or not?) that Rocky 3 and Pacino share the same music, which quotes Italian Westerns! And boy is Stallone not doing the butterfly correctly in 3.

Excellent post.
posted by It ain't over yet at 8:44 PM on January 2

Do spoofs qualify?
posted by Soliloquy at 11:40 PM on January 2

I now have lived my life to the fullest.... I have seen a part of turkish star wars.
posted by Mastercheddaar at 5:40 AM on January 3

Came here to make sure that Wet Hot American Summer was mentioned, and was pleased that it was so.
posted by dirtdirt at 6:22 AM on January 3