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A glass bong filled with a corked '82 Petrus. Most exclusive restaurant in Chicago, or best April Fool's prank ever? I have reservations!
posted by timsteil (32 comments total) 3 users marked this as a favorite

 
I bags drinking the bongwater!

Oh, wait, it's corked.

*passes the Petrus to the left hand side*
posted by UbuRoivas at 1:08 PM on March 29, 2008


“The night [GQ critic Alan] Richman came in I just looked down at my hands and decided I had to get away,” he says. D’Angelo dropped out amid wild speculation—some said his operation had been infiltrated by the health department, others that he was being blackmailed by jealous chefs, still others that he’d lost his teeth to meth mouth.
posted by UbuRoivas at 1:15 PM on March 29, 2008


Hah! (Only funny to fellow 49th Ward refugees.)
posted by enn at 1:18 PM on March 29, 2008


Live in the 45th ward here enn...
posted by timsteil at 1:22 PM on March 29, 2008


"These people have read that Chicago is the new front line in the culinary jihad."

That's why they're called the culinary arts: chefs can be just as big a pretentious jackass as any other artist.
posted by The Card Cheat at 1:24 PM on March 29, 2008


It's a joke of course. THC is alcohol soluble and nobody smart would want to seem that stupid for wasting both products at once.
posted by Brian B. at 1:25 PM on March 29, 2008 [1 favorite]


Seems a little too...niche to be real. And i'm sure if it was as "underground" as the author explains, it wouldn't get this much internet publicity?

But wine as bong water, heh, gotta try out that next time :)
posted by saxamo at 1:26 PM on March 29, 2008


Is there a third choice? Because I don't think either of the two you've offered is quite right...
posted by Naberius at 1:28 PM on March 29, 2008


THC is alcohol soluble and nobody smart would want to seem that stupid for wasting both products at once.

True. Any chef worth their seasalt uses amyl nitrate as bongwater, not some vinegary French plonk.
posted by UbuRoivas at 1:33 PM on March 29, 2008 [1 favorite]


Um, the second clearly breaks this story down as a joke chock filled with inside foodie references.
posted by donovan at 1:35 PM on March 29, 2008


I hearby retract my snark.

*grumble*It's not an April Fool's Day prank unless you wait until April 1st*grumble*
posted by The Card Cheat at 1:38 PM on March 29, 2008


Clearly a joke, but what's scary are the number of people who will buy into it. Calling the INS on competing line cooks? Nice touch.
posted by PareidoliaticBoy at 1:38 PM on March 29, 2008


Ah, the water cribs.

I was 7 years old. Sitting on Oak Street beach. A hot summer day. The lake shimmered from the heat. I squinted into the distance and saw what looked to be a castle floating on the water. I asked my mom what that was.

She said " That's where Mayor Daley lives. It's huge mansion that you can't enter unless you were born in Bridgeport." I asked my mom if I was born in Bridgeport and she said "No honey, you were born in Evergreen Park. That means you'll never get to work for the city".
posted by Bighappyfunhouse at 1:48 PM on March 29, 2008 [4 favorites]


THC is alcohol soluble and nobody smart would want to seem that stupid for wasting both products at once.

A friend of mine who was in the army tells me that he used vodka-as-bong-water a couple of times, and that it was excellent. Then again, he's the kind of guy who would use vodka as bong water; the signal/noise on buzz at that point is probably kinda low.
posted by a robot made out of meat at 2:02 PM on March 29, 2008


Naked sushi isn't a recent development. Other people have heard of this before, right?
posted by Pronoiac at 2:10 PM on March 29, 2008


yeh, eating fish is always better with your clothes off.
posted by UbuRoivas at 2:21 PM on March 29, 2008 [1 favorite]


Meret Oppenheim did the "eat food off a naked lady" thing in 1960!

http://www.boingboing.net/2003/11/12/naked-lady-sushi-par.html

And made the unforgettable fur tea cup decades before that!

http://artintelligence.net/themes/wp-content/uploads/2007/11/oppenheimbreakfastinfur36.jpg
posted by arcadia at 2:42 PM on March 29, 2008


Reminds me of this hoax/parody from a few years ago, which was also an entertaining read.
posted by sy at 2:57 PM on March 29, 2008



A friend of mine who was in the army tells me that he used vodka-as-bong-water a couple of times, and that it was excellent.


If it was excellent, why'd he only do it a couple of times?
posted by item at 2:59 PM on March 29, 2008


Ice tap water is all you need for a bong, all else is vanity....not that I would know or anything.
posted by Burhanistan at 3:18 PM on March 29, 2008 [4 favorites]


I have heard that the healing powers of a 4-hose bong filled with Jameson's are remarkable - yes, THC may be alcohol soluble but given the length of time the smoke is actually in contact with the liquid, the absorption of THC into the EtOH is negligible. OTOH, the evaporation of EtOH into the hot smoke is non-negligible ... or so I am told.
posted by kcds at 4:42 PM on March 29, 2008


So this Meret Oppenheim...she drank from the hairy cup?
posted by UbuRoivas at 5:09 PM on March 29, 2008


No way! Snow filled tubes both filled and carbed with nitrous oxide is the ultimate in smoothness. Not that you'll remember.
posted by Balisong at 5:14 PM on March 29, 2008


Well, we made a three-hose hookah out of a Galliano's bottle once, that was pretty neat. But we made sure to drink the Galliano's first rather than waste it by smoking through it.
posted by Jimbob at 5:17 PM on March 29, 2008


*Flashbacks of college years where any household item with internal volume would be a candidate for conversion to a smoking device*
posted by Burhanistan at 5:20 PM on March 29, 2008


*Flashbacks of college years where any - no, I'd better not finish that one...
posted by UbuRoivas at 5:47 PM on March 29, 2008


My Uncle Nate only needed three things:
an apple, his Boy Scout knife, and 30 seconds.
posted by Dizzy at 6:52 PM on March 29, 2008 [1 favorite]


If it was excellent, why'd he only do it a couple of times?

I'll name that tune in two: whirly pits.

Nobody likes the whirly pits.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 7:21 PM on March 29, 2008


Back in the day when we used to have a fridge full of pre-mixed Black-Russians in Stoli bottles at all times, one certain person ( Craig) was notorious for guzzling it like mother's milk, while never actually contributing monetarily to the making of them.

Naturally, in an environment like that, there was also a giant 3-foot, multi-hosed hookah that someone had brought back from Morocco, as the centerpiece of the dining-room table. You guessed it, after Craig called one night and said he was on his way over, some nefarious fiend ( OK, it was me) struck on the idea of pouring the Hookah water into a Stoli bottle and putting it into the fridge, while then also removing the other ones with the booze in them.

Sure enough, upon arrival, empty handed as usual, Craig stomps into the kitchen, opens the fridge, which usually had at least 1/2 dozen bottles in it, spies the single ( and supposedly last) half-filled bottle of 3 month old, almost black bong-water, and promptly guzzles 1/2 of it.

While we didn't end up calling an ambulance, it was touch and go there for a while.
posted by PareidoliaticBoy at 9:42 PM on March 29, 2008 [4 favorites]


If it was excellent, why'd he only do it a couple of times?

Because he couldn't reliably keep weed around, being in the army and all. Also, conservation of booze.
posted by a robot made out of meat at 6:29 AM on March 30, 2008


from experience in hospitality, the partaking of marijuana during service by kitchen staff is not at all unheard of and many chefs I know have sworn by it as improving certain faculties.

I imagine that if you were in the restaurant "scene" in the states this article would be pretty biting satire but thankfully not everyone who works in the industry has to deal with that level of pretension, or at least not regularly.
posted by Dillonlikescookies at 9:49 PM on March 30, 2008


I miss Sheldon Brown's April Fool's Day joke pages. Symetrispokes are way more entertaining than this.
posted by fixedgear at 5:09 AM on March 31, 2008


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