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Let's see if we can't get that up on the Internet.
September 24, 2008 11:03 AM   Subscribe

SLYT: Crazy preacher comes to the defense of Bristol Palin. Starts out slow, but picks up steam.
posted by greenie2600 (98 comments total) 8 users marked this as a favorite

 
Knocking up women all over the Kenyan village of Africa

Hint: Kenya's not a village in Africa.

OBAMA'S MAMA!
posted by allkindsoftime at 11:12 AM on September 24, 2008


Was a sloozy, was a floozy, was a low-down snail-eatin white woman

French cuisine eh? Sounds like she was the first-ever White Trash Elitist.
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 11:13 AM on September 24, 2008 [1 favorite]


"Knogggggg Dup."
posted by Wolfdog at 11:15 AM on September 24, 2008 [1 favorite]


There is a lot of wacko racial self-hatred going on there, boy howdy. The only white women who sleep with black men are trash? Whoo.
posted by middleclasstool at 11:16 AM on September 24, 2008


No escargots for this dude tonight
posted by matteo at 11:16 AM on September 24, 2008


The only white women who sleep with black men are trash? Whoo

Spike Lee is as always illuminating
posted by matteo at 11:17 AM on September 24, 2008


Kenya's not a village in Africa.

The exact words were: "the Kenyan village of Africa." WHICH MEANS AFRICA'S A VILLAGE IN KENYA.
posted by Smart Dalek at 11:18 AM on September 24, 2008 [8 favorites]


MetaFilter: Drug-using satanist homosexual bestiality children.
posted by Wolfdog at 11:18 AM on September 24, 2008 [2 favorites]


If I could somehow get this guy's voice onto an alarm clock, I'd actually have a chance at getting out of bed in the morning.
posted by mannequito at 11:19 AM on September 24, 2008 [2 favorites]


It seems that most of the pastor's argument rests on the unassailable fact that "Obama" rhymes with "mama".
posted by the jam at 11:20 AM on September 24, 2008 [14 favorites]


Hey, you know what though? I bet Obama would be doing even better if more people knew that his dad had TWO IRON LEGS. Half white, half black, one quarter robot, all my next president.
posted by penduluum at 11:20 AM on September 24, 2008 [57 favorites]


Half white, half black, one quarter robot, all my next president.

That shit would be unstoppable.
posted by middleclasstool at 11:22 AM on September 24, 2008 [3 favorites]


This has changed my life
posted by Lacking Subtlety at 11:22 AM on September 24, 2008 [2 favorites]


I really wish my nickname was ole iron legs.
posted by Lemurrhea at 11:23 AM on September 24, 2008 [1 favorite]


I went with "other". They haven't implemented the "WTF?" one yet.
posted by yhbc at 11:23 AM on September 24, 2008


This guy is trash talking
posted by found missing at 11:24 AM on September 24, 2008


Holy Fuck. This guy hates himself. What a bunch of misdirected hatred.
posted by clearly at 11:25 AM on September 24, 2008


He's "rrrreally rrrriding this down the rrrroad."
posted by JaredSeth at 11:27 AM on September 24, 2008


I want a buddy flick made ASAP with this guy and Obama. A remake of Planes Trains and Automobiles.

And slozzy is the new best word ever. I'm off to call someone a sloozy right now.
posted by Keith Talent at 11:28 AM on September 24, 2008


How many iron legs did McCain have while he was a POW in Vietnam? Get that on the internet.
posted by DU at 11:28 AM on September 24, 2008 [3 favorites]


Barack Obama's father: a deadbeat alcoholic and trash knocker upper.

Levi Johnson: a shining beacon of righteousness.
posted by clearly at 11:29 AM on September 24, 2008


What are your children doing? What are they doing? Let's see if we can't get that up on the internet.
Rule #132: Never refer to children, "getting it up", and the internet in a single train of thought.
posted by Lemurrhea at 11:29 AM on September 24, 2008 [1 favorite]


Nutbarpedia
posted by DU at 11:31 AM on September 24, 2008


I know somebody who's not getting an invitation to White House next year.
posted by vibrotronica at 11:32 AM on September 24, 2008


So sad this poor, deranged man's self hatred and racism against his own kind. Awful and sick double standards.

Interesting that Sarah Palin's husband arrested for DUI is not mentioned. What's good for the gander is also good for the goose.
posted by nickyskye at 11:34 AM on September 24, 2008 [1 favorite]


Judging from that picture, Obama's father was a member of the Church of the SubGenius.
posted by ColdChef at 11:34 AM on September 24, 2008 [2 favorites]


How could this guy talk for 8:23min, repeatedly saying, "Obama Mama" without ever using the word "drama"? I question his credentials as a preacher.
posted by ColdChef at 11:37 AM on September 24, 2008 [13 favorites]


James Manning's church website: ATLAH Worldwide

and Manning's biography from the site. He gave himself a PhD.
posted by clearly at 11:40 AM on September 24, 2008


The disgusting part, of course, is that this guy's commentary resembles the general tenor of a lot of the mud being thrown around in this election by people that are supposedly respectable.
posted by Inspector.Gadget at 11:43 AM on September 24, 2008


This is like the Time Cube version of "the snaps."

"Obama's mamma is sooooo trashy..."
"HOW TRASHY IS SHE?"
"She's so trashy she got knocked up by a homosexual from the Kenyan village of Africa with iron legs! Satan Satan Satan"
posted by fungible at 11:43 AM on September 24, 2008 [7 favorites]


Sloozy. Not to be confused with a Flut, Flarlot. Slussy or MILP.
posted by billyfleetwood at 11:50 AM on September 24, 2008


I am not at all interested in Bristol Palin's pregnancy. It is her business. It is her family's business. But does anyone know if she plans to breast feed?
posted by Postroad at 11:51 AM on September 24, 2008 [5 favorites]


No, no, no, not God Bless Obama, GOD DAMN Obama! It's in the Bible!
posted by billysumday at 11:53 AM on September 24, 2008 [1 favorite]


Fungible, I was thinking the same thing. It's Time Cube, spoken!
posted by schroedinger at 11:55 AM on September 24, 2008


He really likes saying "mama". A lot. His word cloud is going to look something like this:

MAMA TRASH alcoholic

I'm sorry, but this guy clearly saw Uncle Ruckus and decided he was a role model to emulate.

Leave Bristol Palin alone!

And now I see that they're made for each other.
posted by quin at 11:55 AM on September 24, 2008


Also, I think this guy got way too excited about the sound of the words "Obama's momma" and just rolled with it.
posted by schroedinger at 11:56 AM on September 24, 2008


*sotto voce*
The vestments, the scenery, the makeup, the props...
The audience that lifts you when you're down...
The headaches, the heartaches, the backaches, the flops...
The sheriff who escorts you out of town...

The opening when your heart beats like a drum
The closing when the faithful won't come...

*SHOWSTOPPER*
There's no preachers like crazy preachers
Like no preachers I know

Everything about them is appealing
Everything Theophilia will allow
No where could you have that happy feeling -
When you aren't stealing that sacred cow!

There's no crazy like preacher crazy
They smile when they are low

Yesterday they told you you would not go far
That night you opened and there you are
Next day on your pulpit they've hung a star!

Let's go on with the show!

The cowboys, the wrestlers, the fanatics, the clowns
The roustabouts that move the pews at dawn
The music, the spotlights, the candles, the towns
Your baggage with the icons pasted on

The wafers and the stained glass and the smell
The towel you've taken from the last hotel

There's no crazy like preacher crazy
If you tell me it's so

Traveling through the country is so thrilling
Standing out in front on opening nights
Smiling as you watch the benches filling
And see your savior up there in lights

There's no preachers like crazy preachers
They speak in tongues when they are low

Even with a turkey who’s a disbeliever
You may be knocked even sillier
Still you wouldn't trade it for thirty pieces of silver
So let's go on! with the show!
posted by Smedleyman at 12:03 PM on September 24, 2008 [5 favorites]


I need to know how to get in touch with this guy's mama so I can inform her that I do not, in fact, like it.
posted by padraigin at 12:04 PM on September 24, 2008 [2 favorites]


I know somebody who's not getting an invitation to White House next year.

either that, or he's going to get a shitload of money in "faith-based initiatives"
posted by matteo at 12:04 PM on September 24, 2008


I think this might actually be too much condensed weirdness to delete.

Though I wouldn't describe the "other" flags it's gotten as being anything other than accurate, as far as that goes.

Just, wow. Wowie wow.
posted by cortex at 12:06 PM on September 24, 2008 [1 favorite]


ColdChef "How could this guy talk for 8:23min, repeatedly saying, "Obama Mama" without ever using the word "drama"? I question his credentials as a preacher."
What about the Dalai Lama?
posted by lee at 12:08 PM on September 24, 2008 [1 favorite]


'Brristol Palin.' 'Obama's momma'. A better consonant workshop than Sesame Street. This would make a terrific learn-to-speak-English video.
posted by grounded at 12:09 PM on September 24, 2008 [1 favorite]


That's pretty impressive. I don't think I've ever seen somebody make the switch so dramatically from boring, boiler-plate anti-liberal screed to jaw-droppingly insane ad hominem attack before.
posted by bluejayk at 12:09 PM on September 24, 2008


CAMPAIGN DRAMA: OBAMA MOMMA "HARMED A LLAMA FARMER"
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 12:10 PM on September 24, 2008 [12 favorites]


That is some toxic, toxic shit.
posted by RussHy at 12:11 PM on September 24, 2008


Aww, how cute!

It's the black, Christian Chris Crocker.

LEAVE BRISTOL ALONE!
posted by TrinaSelwyn at 12:13 PM on September 24, 2008 [1 favorite]


I think this might actually be too much condensed weirdness to delete.

I BEAT THE SYSTEM

I WIN AT METAFILTER
posted by greenie2600 at 12:13 PM on September 24, 2008 [10 favorites]


Oops... NSFW on the language in that video. Sorry.
posted by TrinaSelwyn at 12:14 PM on September 24, 2008


Annnnnd.... I wasn't the only one to see the similarities. Heh.
posted by TrinaSelwyn at 12:16 PM on September 24, 2008


Lyin' n' cheatin', yup.
posted by nickyskye at 12:17 PM on September 24, 2008


Meanwhile, while we were reading this McCain has announced that he is suspending pol.itics, and will not debate, and asked Obama to join him in a bipartisan way to solve economic problem (the bill) by Monday! And Bush to address the nation to tell us how urgent it is.
posted by Postroad at 12:26 PM on September 24, 2008


OBAMA MAMA ON AN ALHAMBRA PAJAMA?
posted by SpiffyRob at 12:29 PM on September 24, 2008


The Dalai Llama, Wilmer Valderrama, and Francis Fukuyama have been separated by the serial comma.
posted by horsewithnoname at 12:29 PM on September 24, 2008 [5 favorites]


McCain has announced that he is suspending politics

Right, because there's nothing at all political about suspending your campaign to put on a high-profile show of what a Selfless Public Servant you are, and then challenging your opponent to do the same.
posted by greenie2600 at 12:38 PM on September 24, 2008 [1 favorite]


Pastor Manning: Well let's just look at the equation.

Okay, let's do that.

His father, it is documented was a Pathetic Loser.

We'll call this variable FPL.

An alcoholic who couldn't hold a job, had two iron legs when he finally killed himself in an automobile accident. That's his daddy. that's what we got from the heredity of his daddy.

So: FPL = CnH2n+1OH + 2(LegFE) - Job.

With you so far, Pastor Manning.

His momma got Knocked Up by this low life,

We'll call this variable MKU.

this low living alcoholic pathetic African who was already married to several Other Women back in Africa

You know this isn't fair. Now I have to go adjust my equation for the FPL.

FPL = (CnH2n+1OH + 2(LegFE) - Job.)AFR + XOWAFR

Well, I'm not gonna lie. Solving for X in that equation to figure out just how many Other Women Barack's dad was married to back in Africa is gonna be tough. I suppose I'd start by taking the square root of Africa.

when she lay down with him, when she wallowed in the mire with him, when she laid in the hog path with him and got knocked up with him.

Okay, so it looks like we're starting to expand the MKU variable a bit.

MKU = 3(Sex) + Mire + Hogpath

She was trash.

MKU = 3(Sex) + Mire + Hogpath = Trash

That doesn't mean that Sarah Palin is,

SPCVP != 3(Sex) + Mire + Hogpath

nor that her daughter.

BPKU != 3(Sex) + Mire + Hogpath

There is a distinct difference and it needs to be clear.

Well, I can't speak for anyone else, but it's perfectly clear to me, now.
posted by shmegegge at 12:41 PM on September 24, 2008 [39 favorites]


Keith Olberman? Chris Mattews? Let's find out what your deranged drug dealing stan worship homosexual sodomizing children. What are your children doing?

Keith Olberman at home.

Keith: Son? What are you up to?

Keith Jr: Well, I'm dealing drugs to this guy that's fucking me in the ass. Hail Satan!

Keith: Hail Satan, son!
posted by shmegegge at 12:50 PM on September 24, 2008 [12 favorites]


I like how around 4:38, when he starts really warming to the topic of the "sloozy" white women hangin' 'round the black community wit' they skirts hiked up and they breasts hangin' out, the camera suddenly pulls back for no apparent reason. It is as if whoever is filming this man had to remove himself from the Flying Spittle Range.

The video is too ugly to be funny, unfortunately. I sort of hope there's a defibrillator in The Honorable James David Manning's office... but I also sort of hope there isn't.
posted by cirocco at 12:51 PM on September 24, 2008


Jesus Christ, what an asshole.
posted by Guy_Inamonkeysuit at 1:07 PM on September 24, 2008


You can start it! I'll end it for ya! SO ... SO ... SO ... there you have it.
posted by owtytrof at 1:16 PM on September 24, 2008


I was screaming "F**K YOU" the entire time I watched it.
posted by mike3k at 1:29 PM on September 24, 2008


On preview, owtytrof, I just spent several minutes trying to come up with a transcription of the last twenty seconds, mostly to call attention to the hilarious transition from inanities like "if you don't start something it won't be nothing" to the zen-like summation of the closing words, "So. So. So. There you have it."

Actually, I would love to know what he actually said after this clip ended. When he looks down at the desk there's such an irrepressible part of me that just begs for him to look up with a smile and a wink and for the next words out of his mouth to be: "And now let's have a look at this week's forecast. Jim?"

I mean, what do you say after all that?
posted by roombythelake at 1:32 PM on September 24, 2008


I mean, what do you say after all that?
"Pretty much everywhere, it's gonna be hot."
posted by Wolfdog at 1:40 PM on September 24, 2008 [1 favorite]


Sloozy white girl knocked up by guy from Africa: BAD
Sloozy white girl knocked up by guy from Alaska: GOOD

Huh. Alright.
posted by Sys Rq at 1:48 PM on September 24, 2008 [1 favorite]


You couldn't make this stuff up. This is beautiful, just beautiful, amazing entertainment. This man is a legend. Thank god for the intertubes -- I'm going to share this with everyone I know.
posted by dancestoblue at 1:52 PM on September 24, 2008


Isn't this guy a Christian minister? I thought there was a part of the book they liked so much about judgement...
posted by Ogre Lawless at 1:57 PM on September 24, 2008


For the crazy preacher complestist,

Muthee & Palin

This one has witches
posted by The Whelk at 2:05 PM on September 24, 2008


I thought he said two hind legs for some reason. It couldn't have been worse if he had.
posted by frobozz at 2:05 PM on September 24, 2008


and this, my children, is the word of the lord.
posted by msconduct at 3:04 PM on September 24, 2008


Cast not a stone unl...aw fuck it, cast those stones. At this guy.
posted by jamstigator at 3:20 PM on September 24, 2008


This was posted 4 hours ago, and there has yet to emerge any "Obama's Mama" remixes?
posted by sswiller at 3:21 PM on September 24, 2008


In all fairness, one really can't over-emphasize the importance of two iron legs.
posted by starman at 3:22 PM on September 24, 2008


He may have a few loose screws, but his mental brakes are tight.

"Don't START nothin', won't BE nothin'! You can START it, but I'll EN' it for ya!"

*screeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeetch*

"So. There you have it."
posted by CKmtl at 3:37 PM on September 24, 2008 [1 favorite]


I mean, what do you say after all that?
"Pretty much everywhere, it's gonna be hot."

Over to you, Charlotte.
posted by Kinbote at 4:07 PM on September 24, 2008


Most convoluted "Yo Mamma" taunt ever.
posted by dirigibleman at 4:52 PM on September 24, 2008


That was the best fuckn' thing I've ever seen.
posted by gman at 5:16 PM on September 24, 2008


I did the count: he said "mama" 24 times in just over seven minutes (he doesn't use the term till 1:15 in.)

I could be wrong on this, but I'm pretty sure this guy has some anger issues regarding what a complete and total sluts women other than his mother (and Palin) are.

(And he may have been a pathetic alcoholic, but the photo the guy used of Obama's father suggests to me that Obama Sr was someone to party with.)
posted by quin at 5:50 PM on September 24, 2008


I wonder if that was completely impromptu. Does there exist somewhere a piece of paper with his outline?
posted by a robot made out of meat at 6:21 PM on September 24, 2008 [7 favorites]


Holy jumpin' jack! I got about half way through before giving up, this guy is flipped.
posted by nola at 7:40 PM on September 24, 2008


Put this up on ya evening bulletin'! Gotta get this up out on the internet!!
posted by kaspen at 7:51 PM on September 24, 2008


I'm John McCain and I approve this message.
posted by mazola at 8:27 PM on September 24, 2008


Oh nola, seriously, go back and watch the second half, because he really hits his stride at about the four minute mark.

And by 'hits his stride' I naturally mean 'gets way fucking more wacko'.

The guy is like a really bad car crash on the shoulder of the road; you don't want to look as you pass, because you know you are going to witness some stuff you can't unsee, but at the same time... oooh... wreckage!
posted by quin at 8:42 PM on September 24, 2008


When Obama wins in November, do we finally get to round these guys up, send them to Greenland, and then re-name the place Jesusland/Greater Dumbfuckistan?

No? That wouldn't be right? Aw, shucks.
posted by bardic at 8:49 PM on September 24, 2008


Wow! just Wow!
Like an SNL skit that got out of control and kept on going.
posted by dougzilla at 10:04 PM on September 24, 2008


it boggles the mind.
posted by dutch at 10:22 PM on September 24, 2008


It's like Professor Irwin Corey and Moms Mabley had a baby. A crazy, crazy baby.
posted by Sidhedevil at 11:02 PM on September 24, 2008


Hate off.
posted by humannaire at 1:27 AM on September 25, 2008


This video fails to answer two important questions:
Was Obama's poppa actually Iron Man?
Does Obama's mama like Bananarama?
posted by w0mbat at 1:55 AM on September 25, 2008


It's gonna be so great when one of his parishioners tries to run for office and has to explain it all. I'm bookmarking this.
posted by sambosambo at 2:03 AM on September 25, 2008 [1 favorite]


MetaFilter: Drug-using satanist homosexual bestiality children -- posted by Wolfdog

Well I don't know about you, but that's definitely what I expect for MY five dollars!

(Also, eponysterical.)
posted by rokusan at 7:05 AM on September 25, 2008


It's gonna be so great when one of his parishioners tries to run for office and has to explain it all. I'm bookmarking this.

Just watch Palin get protected from witches. The preacher notes how important it is for christians to take over the banking sector from "Israelites", and that afterward we won't have the corruption and problems we have now. I doubt the Obama campaign will do anything with this, since it will trigger the "bad black man" response in people's reptilian brains
posted by a robot made out of meat at 8:46 AM on September 25, 2008


THE DUTCH VILLAGE OF AMERICA
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 9:42 AM on September 25, 2008


This is why it is important to map out your speech beforehand on index cards. I will use this as a teaching example.
posted by rmless at 9:44 AM on September 25, 2008


I don't think index cards would have helped this gentleman. Unless they were index cards coated with Thorazine. And he ate them.
posted by Sidhedevil at 2:24 PM on September 25, 2008


He ain't shuttin' up about Obama's mama.

I'm going to have to work my way through this guy's whole collection.
posted by quin at 2:52 PM on September 25, 2008


oh my god. that one is priceless. Screaming almost all the way through it, except for one really interesting statement at the end.

IF YOU CAN PROVE OTHERWISE, I'LL GO ON NATIONAL TELEVISION AND REPENT! AND I'LL VOTE FOR OBAMA! AND I'LL TELL EVERYBODY THAT HAD DECIDED NOT TO VOTE FOR HIM BECAUSE OF MY INFLUENCE TO VOTE FOR HIM! And i say this as James David Manning, with no affiliation to the ATLAH World Missionary Church. BUT! I WILL VOTE FOR HIM! I'LL CAMPAIGN FOR HIM IF YOU CAN SHOW ME THAT HIS MAMA WAS NOT TRASH!

awesome.
posted by shmegegge at 3:21 PM on September 25, 2008


When he's promoting his favoured candidates instead of slandering others, his cadence changes into a kind of exuberant sports-caster's patter, in that pattern people revert to when they're talking without any having sense of how long they'll have to talk and so they don't want to actually say anything that can't be cut off with a moment's notice and still make sense. It's a series of stand-alone statements cobbled together by no logical procession whatsoever, other than his voice rising and falling in intensity to let us know when he's going to finish one topic and begin another.
posted by roombythelake at 4:18 PM on September 25, 2008


Metafilter: Knocking up women all over the Kenyan village of Africa
posted by puddleglum at 5:20 PM on September 25, 2008


in that pattern people revert to when they're talking without any having sense of how long they'll have to talk and so they don't want to actually say anything that can't be cut off with a moment's notice and still make sense

Ah, prattle. Good prattle is a hard skill to master. Even harder when you're coming down off an all meth weekend and really like rhyming and spitting.

"Obama! Momma! Llama llama ramma ramma dah ding dong!"

to the music mefites. I would dance to that.

I would dance GLORIOUSLY.
posted by The Whelk at 7:04 PM on September 25, 2008


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