The Many Faces of Crime

December 6, 2008 1:13 PM

In one of the largest jewelry heists in history, robbers -- at least two wearing women's wigs and dresses -- relieved a Harry Winston boutique of $108 million worth of diamond rings, necklaces, and watches. Despite criminal investigation teachings that robbers "have better things to do with their money than to buy an array of masks and disguises" and will opt for functional attire, many thieves express themselves creatively and impractically through costumery, dressing as Dracula and Black Father Christmas, a tree, Greek prime ministers, clowns, and ghosts, while others cover their faces with duct tape, cookie dough, drywall, and baking-flour-and-ketchup. Minimalists just wear men's underwear and women's thongs on their heads.
posted by terranova (29 comments total)

The day I was born, the bank next to the hospital was robbed by a guy in drag. He'd been seen for the past few days 'dressed up like Boy George' taking notes around town.

He ended up renting a limo to take him down to New York. He might have gotten away with it if he'd been more discreet.
posted by dunkadunc at 1:21 PM on December 6, 2008

great idea for a halloween outfit.
posted by fuzzypantalones at 1:25 PM on December 6, 2008

Nice fleshing out of a timely item.

The thieves will soon discover that the De Beers' tagline, "diamonds are forever," was meant to quash expectations for resale anywhere near the retail cost.
posted by StickyCarpet at 1:29 PM on December 6, 2008 [2 favorites]

A couple of months ago some guy tried to rob a TD-Canada Trust around the corner from where I live while wearing a Grim Reaper costume complete with rubber gloves and a surgical mask.
posted by The Card Cheat at 1:29 PM on December 6, 2008

And then some people are clearly doing it wrong.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 1:34 PM on December 6, 2008 [1 favorite]

Nice post, thanks. Reminds me of a great book: Ballad of the Whiskey Robber
posted by vito90 at 1:38 PM on December 6, 2008

I do so enjoy FPPs like this. Crime doesn't have to be terrifying; it can be downright hilarious.

WARRIORS
WARRIORS
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 1:43 PM on December 6, 2008 [1 favorite]

Clown robbers! Previously.
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:57 PM on December 6, 2008

robbers -- at least two wearing women's wigs and dresses

Please don't blame drag queens for this, they're usually quite content with costume jewelry.
posted by longsleeves at 2:11 PM on December 6, 2008 [3 favorites]

He went to Jareds!
posted by doctorschlock at 2:16 PM on December 6, 2008 [2 favorites]

Anxiously waiting for the Law & Order and CSI episodes to rip this baby from the headlines...
posted by Alexandra Kitty at 2:53 PM on December 6, 2008 [1 favorite]

True, the resale price for diamonds is much lower than retail, but I think they'll be able to sell $110 million dollars worth of stones for enough money to live comfortably for a little while.
posted by youthenrage at 2:53 PM on December 6, 2008

Those guys all have nothing on the cooler bandit (and not only did this happen down the road from my house, but I know the perp's nephews).
posted by TedW at 2:58 PM on December 6, 2008

After having checked out most of the linked items, I feel perfectly comfortable trotting out this old chestnut:

THIS THREAD IS USELESS WITHOUT PICS!
posted by Banky_Edwards at 3:29 PM on December 6, 2008

Were these insured, I wonder? Given what's known about the diamond cartel, if they were insured, the thieves would almost be doing the company a favor. Even if not-- nice advertising. Clearing out a bunch of inventory.
posted by alexei at 3:39 PM on December 6, 2008

In Denver, the bank robbers were dressed as snowboarders. The FBI eventually got them though.
posted by Eekacat at 3:47 PM on December 6, 2008

Anxiously waiting for the Law & Order and CSI episodes to rip this baby from the headlines...

You do that. I'll be here anticipating South Park's take on it.
posted by mannequito at 4:37 PM on December 6, 2008

So the Sizzler sisters hooked up with other miscreants, eh? Figures.
posted by droplet at 4:58 PM on December 6, 2008 [1 favorite]

Son... you've got a panty on yore haid.
posted by Devils Rancher at 5:31 PM on December 6, 2008 [5 favorites]

It's not a supertanker (cue Arnie voice??) but still. Wow.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 5:38 PM on December 6, 2008

You do that. I'll be here anticipating South Park's take on it.

I never got South Park -- all the characters sound like the loud and not entirely welcomed wedding guests who had way too much to drink...
posted by Alexandra Kitty at 6:06 PM on December 6, 2008

I remember getting a tour of a police station in highschool right around the time of a series of robberies where the robber wore no disguise other than a Scooby Doo band aid across the bridge of his nose. The policeman giving the tour said that with over twenty witnesses, nobody gave a good description of the robber because they all focused so much on the band aid. He seemed a little sad when he told us that the age of criminals in disguises was over.
posted by Slack-a-gogo at 6:28 PM on December 6, 2008

Does high end jewelry get stamped with some sort of ID number? I'm curious.
posted by bardic at 10:43 PM on December 6, 2008

I second the wish for a Law and Order or CSI take on this.
Can it please be CSI:NY? I prefer Gary Sinese's "skeptical but befuddled at strange crime scene face" to William Petersen's. And David Caruso, well... he doesn't seem to have facial expressions.
posted by SaharaRose at 6:16 AM on December 7, 2008

I like it when real life and comic books are more like each other. More 'super-villains,' please.
posted by eccnineten at 9:55 AM on December 7, 2008 [1 favorite]

And David Caruso, well... he doesn't seem to have facial expressions.

Ah, but he has the SUNGLASSES OF JUSTICE!
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 10:17 AM on December 7, 2008

And David Caruso, well... he doesn't seem to have facial expressions.

Or acting ability.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 12:17 PM on December 7, 2008 [1 favorite]

You can almost time David Caruso's action in the opening scene right before the music:

1. Someone else says something about the dead body over there.
2. David Caruso *may* say something.
3. Dramatic pause whilst David Caruso puts on his sunglasses.
4. David Caruso delivers dramatic line.
5. Duh! duh-duh! Ow! (opening credits)
posted by Monday at 10:22 PM on December 7, 2008

6. For the rest of the episode, will speak as if reading his lines off of the side of a very distant building.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 1:05 AM on December 8, 2008