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Wendy & her amazing mouth
January 19, 2009 8:38 AM   Subscribe

An American woman is showing off her amazing mouth on Japanese TV shows.
posted by rageagainsttherobots (90 comments total) 1 user marked this as a favorite

 
It's like goatse for your face.
posted by Nelson at 8:40 AM on January 19, 2009 [10 favorites]


This woman is an animal. Her children will be proud.
posted by rageagainsttherobots at 8:41 AM on January 19, 2009


Why?!
posted by Navelgazer at 8:46 AM on January 19, 2009 [1 favorite]


Hey, if you got it, flaunt it! More power to her. At least she speaks Japanese, and therefore actually reflects well on us gaijin.
posted by Xoebe at 8:46 AM on January 19, 2009


I could spend hours here, typing completely offensive comments, then deleting them before clicking Post. Hours.
posted by rokusan at 8:46 AM on January 19, 2009 [35 favorites]


I wish I hadn't looked. My forebrain kept saying, "What good can come of looking?", but my simian curiosity won out, and sooth: no good came of looking.
posted by everichon at 8:47 AM on January 19, 2009 [9 favorites]


That is, bar none, the WORST chug I've ever seen.
posted by autodidact at 8:51 AM on January 19, 2009 [3 favorites]


mathowie, offer this woman a free MeFi membership. She'll be a hoot at meetups.
posted by netbros at 8:51 AM on January 19, 2009 [2 favorites]


Haha ... that is genius.

Genius I say, because I haven't laughed so hard for a long, sad time now. She knows what she's doing.
posted by krilli at 8:54 AM on January 19, 2009


"mathowie, offer this woman a free MeFi membership. She'll be a hoot at meetups."

If things become boring you can just buy her a beer and get a few cheap laughs.
posted by rageagainsttherobots at 8:54 AM on January 19, 2009


Do the Japanese not realize that all Americans drink that way? It's not fair for Wendy to get all the glory.
posted by Pater Aletheias at 8:57 AM on January 19, 2009 [11 favorites]


I misread that as 'amazing math' ...
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 8:59 AM on January 19, 2009 [1 favorite]


Ah, best of web YouTube (and another short clip of him here). Modern-day human marvels, though their fame may not last long enough to make it into J. Tithonus Pednaud's curious collection of human marvels. Which is sad, because they'll just be some internet meme, and no one will remember their names.
posted by filthy light thief at 9:00 AM on January 19, 2009


You guys see what she can do to the chrome on a bumper hitch?
posted by cjorgensen at 9:04 AM on January 19, 2009


This woman is an animal. Her children will be proud.

I was thinking more along the lines of how proud her parents must be...
posted by rand at 9:04 AM on January 19, 2009


It's the X-Files theme that really makes it. "Next week: Chupacabra!"
posted by fatbird at 9:11 AM on January 19, 2009 [2 favorites]


Man, that's a pretty good diameter. I used to do this sort of thing at the dinner table as a kid*, and the biggest problem with it is not laughing. You get your mouth around the glass, invert it, someone starts giggling, you start giggling, and then it's beverage sputtering all over the table while you try not to choke to death.

*possibly even as a late-20s kid
posted by cortex at 9:29 AM on January 19, 2009 [14 favorites]


This may be one of those few times I feel okay about commenting on a post without following the links first.
posted by ardgedee at 9:38 AM on January 19, 2009


BOB SAPP!!!
posted by aftermarketradio at 9:48 AM on January 19, 2009


But which of us has not embraced the opportunity to be a high-payed freak on a Japanese variety show?
posted by mecran01 at 9:50 AM on January 19, 2009 [1 favorite]


who wraps her mouth around a big beer mug,
who opens jars with only her lips,
who's showing up on Japanese TV
everyone knows it's Wendy
posted by flapjax at midnite at 9:53 AM on January 19, 2009 [15 favorites]


Her mad skillz are right up there with armpit music and eefing.
posted by nickyskye at 9:53 AM on January 19, 2009


Ah, eefing... fond memories...

though I think almost all those links are, sadly, dead and gone
posted by flapjax at midnite at 9:56 AM on January 19, 2009


I once went out drinking with some friends, their Japanese exchange student, and another friend who was of exile Cuban descent. The Cuban and the Japanese guy decided to have a chugging contest. Now our Cuban friend, I'll call him Pedro (names changed to protect the guilty), was notorious for his chugging. He'd gone to college in Pittsburgh and learned his technique on Iron City. Anyone ever chugged an Iron City? Yeah, then you know. He'd won chugging contests all up and down the East Coast and Midwest. The early money was heavily on him.

Incidentally, his family had come to the States when he was very young, and he was, and thought of himself as, American. This will be relevant later.

The Japanese student, who we'll call Hiro because honestly that was the only time I met him and I have no idea what his name was, was a skinny nervous type. He had a tiny little cell phone, possibly to this day the smallest cell phone I've ever seen, and this was more than ten years ago, when US cell phones were still nearly brick-sized. It had a million tiny keys that I would have needed a toothpick to push. He also carried a laptop everywhere. He seemed like, not to put too fine a point on it, a weedy nerd.

The beers were obtained. Standard pint glasses. I don't know what they were drinking, but something decent. This took place on the roof deck of the Big Hunt in DC, if anyone cares.

Pedro and Hiro faced each other over a wobbly table. Eyes narrowed. Nostrils flared. Someone counted down.

3

2

1

Drink!

Pedro grabbed his glass and started gulping. One gulp. Two. He was well ahead. Hiro had a slow approach. Pedro's glass was half empty already when Hiro's reached his lips. And then something happened. Hiro opened his mouth, tipped his head back, and just poured his beer in. No swallowing at all. It was like it went down a sink. He started and finished his beer in between Pedro's second and third swallows. Pedro finished in two more huge gulps, but it wasn't even close. Hiro's glass was already back down and he was calmly punching tiny buttons on his popsicle-stick-sized cell phone.

There was a moment of awed silence. And then the Hunt's roof deck erupted in cheers from us and all the random bystanders who had witnessed the feat.

They had two more rematches, but Pedro was simply out of his league. Neither was any closer than the first. It was like the very best high school basketball player you've ever seen trying to go one on one with Michael Jordan. Pedro was good, but that almost made it worse.

On the walk back to the metro, however, Hiro was in very rough shape. Two of us flanked him, holding him up as he jelly-legged up 18th street. Finally he shrugged us off and collapsed on his knees in the gutter, vomiting copiously. And Pedro, who was still upright and moving under his own power, finally got his victory. He stood over Hiro, fists raised in a champion's V, and chanted:

"Still standing! USA! USA! USA!"
posted by rusty at 9:58 AM on January 19, 2009 [86 favorites]


oh man flapjax, I was just coming back to this thread to give you credit for teaching me the eef word. :)
posted by nickyskye at 9:58 AM on January 19, 2009


nickyskye: 9:53 jinx! We gotta stop meeting this way...
posted by flapjax at midnite at 9:58 AM on January 19, 2009


OMG!! And a 9:58 jink! This is gettin' scary.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 9:59 AM on January 19, 2009


Charlie'sWendy's enormous mouth, well, it's
Awright
The girl got a very large mouth, but it's
Awright
Her teeth look okay
She must be brushin' 'em quite a bit
'cause her mouth is extra large...
posted by TedW at 10:01 AM on January 19, 2009


We (Americans) now literally have the biggest mouths in the world! In your face rest of the planet!
posted by Mastercheddaar at 10:01 AM on January 19, 2009


Great story Rusty.
posted by rageagainsttherobots at 10:02 AM on January 19, 2009


I hear that she has been invited to The Inaugural Dinner.
posted by R. Mutt at 10:06 AM on January 19, 2009


On preview, Hiro the chugalug hero.

And jinx you back flapjax. Been missing you. *hugs and smiles from Hell's Kitchen

Does this enormous mouth woman remind anyone of the cheating waitress, Cammi, in Sideways?
posted by nickyskye at 10:10 AM on January 19, 2009 [1 favorite]


A woman who could literally put her foot in her mouth, and her money where her mouth is, all at the same time.
posted by DenOfSizer at 10:17 AM on January 19, 2009 [3 favorites]


Didn't she have a kitten?
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 10:18 AM on January 19, 2009


I thought the death metal bed music was a nice touch.
posted by Ogre Lawless at 10:34 AM on January 19, 2009


wow. she does such great things for America's image.
posted by jackanory stories at 10:35 AM on January 19, 2009


"Now I know how Joan of Arc felt."

These look-what-I-can-do feats of stretch fail to impress me; all they require is the right combination of enthusiastic persistence and Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, plus whatever beer mug/toilet seat/suitcase is to be stretched over/squeezed through/stuffed into.

Eefing, however, is made of 100% Grade A win, so: Yay!
posted by Sys Rq at 10:47 AM on January 19, 2009


KRAMER: You've got all these freaks on the show. A woman with a moustache? I mean, who wouldn't tune in to see a woman with a moustache? You've got the tallest man in the world. A guy who's just a head.

JERRY: I don't think so.

KRAMER: Look, Jerry, the show isn't about the circus, it's about watching
freaks.

posted by Joe Beese at 10:48 AM on January 19, 2009


The Fox was the champion of chugging.
posted by photoslob at 10:53 AM on January 19, 2009


Dear Time Warner Cable, Please add the Japanese freak show channel to the digital lineup. I'll pay extra!
posted by birdherder at 10:57 AM on January 19, 2009


So much better and so much worse than I expected...
posted by Mister_A at 11:05 AM on January 19, 2009


[A few comments removed. It'd be great if we could not go there.]
posted by cortex at 11:06 AM on January 19, 2009


I don't like it.
posted by Meatbomb at 11:14 AM on January 19, 2009


What????

Her mouth, it is voluminous! How can you not like that?
posted by Mister_A at 11:17 AM on January 19, 2009


Is she related to Dizzy Gillespie? She's speaking Japanese like a champ! You go girl, with your smart ass!
posted by Flex1970 at 11:18 AM on January 19, 2009


It'd be great if we could not go there.

Cortex, everybody wants to go to Japan.
posted by everichon at 11:18 AM on January 19, 2009


Do all Japanese TV shows have floating head reaction bubbles? Or is it just that one or two shows with that format generate all the content that Americans might care to link too?
posted by delmoi at 11:20 AM on January 19, 2009


On second thought, maybe I won't be having jelly on my toast.
posted by digsrus at 11:23 AM on January 19, 2009


Mom????
posted by Senator at 11:23 AM on January 19, 2009


photoslob, that's exactly who this link reminded me of -- I went once to the Fox Inn (on Wilshire near 20th St?) in Santa Monica. I was challenged to a chug by the Fox because, he said, he saw me laughing while drinking. I think he waited until I was about two-thirds of the way through, just watching, then flicked his wrist and his pint was gone. A fun night.
posted by Killick at 11:25 AM on January 19, 2009


An American woman is showing off her amazing mouth

Before I watch this, or read the thread, is this a commercial for a radio station?
posted by evilcolonel at 11:27 AM on January 19, 2009


Feature request: A floating head reaction bubble for MeFi, with Matt, Jessamyn, or Cortex in it, reacting. This could probably be automated, having a Flash-based representation of each, grimacing or smiling beatifically in response to flag activity.

That would be So. Rad.
posted by everichon at 11:39 AM on January 19, 2009 [1 favorite]


Took me ages to remember what this reminded me of... V
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 11:41 AM on January 19, 2009 [1 favorite]


My initial reaction to Wendy was amazement. Then the wheels started turning, and I couldn't stop thinking about all that backwash.
posted by emelenjr at 11:44 AM on January 19, 2009


Dear Mom,
I met this wonderful girl. I hope you like her, I know I sure do.

Love,
Confess, Fletch
posted by Confess, Fletch at 12:00 PM on January 19, 2009 [1 favorite]


I just emailed the links to my sister, whose party trick is that she can fit her entire fist in her mouth, and remove it without medical intervention. The bar has been raised, sis, the bar has been raised.
posted by punilux at 12:09 PM on January 19, 2009 [1 favorite]


Whenever I watch this kind of thing, I'm constantly wondering about all the things they tried that never succeeded. Kind of like how Edison supposedly said: "I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work." I picture someone trying to drink from the far side of the glass, or balancing it on their chin, or seeing if they could use a vacuum to seal it to the outside of their mouth, just to finally hit on the answer: the whole glass will fit in your mouth.

Because, let's be honest, while this is crudely amusing, I would much rather see the video footage of the 10,000 failures.
posted by quin at 12:22 PM on January 19, 2009 [1 favorite]


The Fox was the champion of chugging.

That's exactly the technique.

Imagine Hiro vs. The Fox. Truly a missed opportunity for the world, right there.
posted by rusty at 12:35 PM on January 19, 2009


i only clicked on the post so i could say something snarky at the end, but rusty actually made this worthwile. thanks, rusty.
posted by marmaduke_yaverland at 12:40 PM on January 19, 2009


Gotta give it too her for girth, but this woman's got it for length...
posted by 445supermag at 12:42 PM on January 19, 2009


Hay Matt - how's that vote down button coming along?
posted by scarabic at 12:50 PM on January 19, 2009 [1 favorite]


Gross.
posted by a3matrix at 1:01 PM on January 19, 2009


She must be related to Jerry Lewis.
posted by briank at 1:08 PM on January 19, 2009


Last night she had a dream she was eating a 50 pound marshmallow.
posted by Astro Zombie at 1:19 PM on January 19, 2009


...and when she woke up, her mattress was gone.
posted by Cranberry at 1:43 PM on January 19, 2009 [1 favorite]


I had a friend in high school who could do that "chugging without swallowing" thing. Just opened up his throat and poured it in. It was freaking ridiculous...
posted by Windopaene at 2:24 PM on January 19, 2009


American has big mouth: film at 11.
posted by pompomtom at 3:04 PM on January 19, 2009


Yay America! We're coming back!
posted by cazoo at 3:05 PM on January 19, 2009


Chinpokomouth!
posted by jamstigator at 3:05 PM on January 19, 2009


Yeah, I kind of thought it was necessary to drink without swallowing to win a chugging contest. I've seen it a few times now. The swallowers never win.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 3:16 PM on January 19, 2009


Anybody else find the picture-in-picture reaction shots they do on Japanese game shows to be creepy? Maybe it's just me.
posted by wastelands at 4:13 PM on January 19, 2009


She really has nothing on this guy.
posted by breath at 4:56 PM on January 19, 2009


That picture in picture shot is in pretty much any show that does video clips here. Hell, they even do it for nostalgic "old music we grew up to" shows, where you'll see famous people singing along in the little picture.

Of course, Ms. Mouth Around The Beer Glass is just another brick in the "gaijin are weird/gaijin are vaguely subhuman" wall. There's the sushi show, where people try to pick up particularly slippery kinds of sushi with chopsticks as it goes by on the conveyor belt. It's mostly just a comedy show, except that everyone is dressed as a stereotype of a foreigner from a random country, complete with fake noses and, occasionally, blackface.

One of the currently popular "talento" is a guy who looks vaguely like Barack Obama. He wanders around shouting "Yes we can," and random other words of English that I'm pretty sure he doesn't actually understand. At least he's not wearing the blackface anymore. I guess that's a victory of some sort.

Then again, I just woke up. Perhaps on the wrong side of the bed.
posted by Ghidorah at 5:02 PM on January 19, 2009


Here's a picture for whatever use you want it
posted by flatluigi at 5:54 PM on January 19, 2009


I can totally do the chugging without swallowing thing. Just like The Fox does it. Taught myself at 17. You literally pour it right into your gut.
posted by autodidact at 5:58 PM on January 19, 2009


In my opinion, sideshow stunts work best when worked up slowly and/or displayed slowly. This gal is presenting her stunt all at once. I would suggest she modify it, perhaps by stuffing something like straws into her mouth, one or two at a time, until her mouth is ridiculously stretched out. That might take 5 or 6 minutes instead of the present 5 or 6 seconds.

I confess I'm partly stealing this idea from an advertisement for a hamburger franchise I saw on the Internet some time back, where a gal stuffs huge amounts of straws into her mouth. I thought that was outstanding!

Straws make a good visual prop, as they are large enough to be seen at a distance by audience members in the back. Everyone can relate to what a straw is, how big it is, and what it feels like in the mouth.
posted by Tube at 6:07 PM on January 19, 2009


goddammit, I hate it when someone like this turns up on Japanese telly. invariably one of my students will ask if this is a typical pastime for all American women, and can't I do it, too?

way to be an ambassador, wendy. making us all look so classy.
posted by squasha at 6:41 PM on January 19, 2009


nothing good can come from the internet.
posted by OrangeDrink at 6:49 PM on January 19, 2009


nothing good can come from the internet.

*cue scream; then faint*
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 6:57 PM on January 19, 2009


way to be an ambassador, wendy. making us all look so classy.

That is so fucking weird. I mean, what a way to get attention. Really. But why does she have to, anyway? She's a foreigner in Japan, so no end of opportunities to speak with the locals. She also can speak Japanese, which means, once she makes a connection with a local, she's set. No doubt she can sing passable karaoke, and once she sings "島歌" or whatever, well, it's free beer. And she's even on tv, which makes her a local celebrity. So why why why cultivate this particular and grotesque talent? And why appear on national tv doing it?

Urg.
posted by KokuRyu at 8:29 PM on January 19, 2009


Huh. I saw a video kinda like this the other day, after foolishly clicking a WTF link on Reddit.

Only it involved a guy, and the orifice at the other end of the body.

It did not go well. Wendy might wish to consider that a mouth full of glass shards is likely to be every bit as painful as WTF guy's rectal experience.
posted by five fresh fish at 9:42 PM on January 19, 2009


A girl had some lips and a jaw,
That inspired international awe.
"I can swallow most all
of a big basketball
but I'm lost when it comes to a straw."
posted by twoleftfeet at 10:39 PM on January 19, 2009 [1 favorite]


that's just weird
posted by popadoodle at 3:57 AM on January 20, 2009


I have a hard time getting behind the idea that Wendy doing a silly parlor trick on Japenese television fits even at the lower depths of the list of things hurting the US as far as world esteem goes.

that's just weird

Hi, banned guy!
posted by cortex at 7:03 AM on January 20, 2009


Hi, banned guy!

What the?..

popadoodle's profile
This account is disabled.

MeFi: 0 posts, 3 comments


Oh, now I see.

Nice.
posted by quin at 7:10 AM on January 20, 2009


Windopaene : I had a friend in high school who could do that "chugging without swallowing" thing. Just opened up his throat and poured it in. It was freaking ridiculous...

Honest question, if this went wrong, wouldn't it lead to complications much worse than just coughing and sputtering? I hate the feeling when a tiny amount of fluid goes down the 'wrong tube' because I swallowed wrong. If I was just pouring it in couldn't that be made much worse, or does the fact that you are not actually swallowing normally mitigate this?

I find the entire concept creepy.
posted by quin at 7:15 AM on January 20, 2009


^ The fact that you are not swallowing mitigates it. You have to block the wind passage with your glottis in order to chug The-Fox style.
posted by autodidact at 7:31 AM on January 20, 2009


^ or at least it feels like the windpipe is closed. I'm not sure if that makes anatomical sense or not..
posted by autodidact at 7:33 AM on January 20, 2009


You have to block the wind passage with your glottis in order to chug The-Fox style.

Strictly speaking you close it with the epiglottis, but you have the right idea.
posted by TedW at 11:57 AM on January 20, 2009


I've seen it a few times now. The swallowers never win.
On the contrary, my good man, on the contrary...
posted by jckll at 12:59 PM on January 21, 2009


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