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Someone has been lying to someone about beards being unholy, and all liars will have their part in the lake of fire.
March 19, 2009 9:47 PM   Subscribe

Impressively bearded, Oneness pentecostal, prog rock sensation and prolific troll Steven Winter would like the corrupt scum who run facebook to stop cooperating with the false-christian devils. Also, he'd like women to stop speaking in church, thanks.
posted by muddylemon (35 comments total) 8 users marked this as a favorite

 
What his Metafilter user number?
posted by turgid dahlia at 10:01 PM on March 19, 2009 [1 favorite]


Ho ho ho-ly shit, dude.
posted by Stonestock Relentless at 10:03 PM on March 19, 2009


They couldn't get an old fat guy with an awesome grey beard to play the drums?
posted by Flunkie at 10:08 PM on March 19, 2009 [1 favorite]


"Special thanks to Bobo on bass, Hayseed on guitar and especially the Dept of Corrections for allowing them to do this as part of work release."

Man, you coulda written that in the liner note of just about any record!
posted by GuyZero at 10:11 PM on March 19, 2009 [3 favorites]


A more up-to-date Steve Winter FAQ
posted by tellurian at 10:13 PM on March 19, 2009


ZZ Top rocks when they refute the Pauline doctrinal perversion of the original monotheism of Jesus!
posted by Burhanistan at 10:19 PM on March 19, 2009 [4 favorites]


It would be funny, if it wasn't so scary...
posted by GratefulDean at 10:20 PM on March 19, 2009


What hallucinogenic addled college kid wouldn't love a poster of this on their dorm room wall?
posted by Burhanistan at 10:28 PM on March 19, 2009 [1 favorite]


These guys seem more representative of the Christian tradition than the more palatable versions popular today.
posted by phrontist at 10:33 PM on March 19, 2009


>These guys seem more representative of the Christian tradition than the more palatable versions popular today.

Maybe if you look at a lot of quotes taken out of context. But if you actually *read* the bible, the "more palatable" versions practised today are much more in line with the text.
posted by brenton at 10:48 PM on March 19, 2009


I want to see this guy in a cage match with Cesare Bonizzi, the heavy metal monk.
posted by porpoise at 11:03 PM on March 19, 2009


I love pomes.
posted by Aquaman at 11:23 PM on March 19, 2009 [1 favorite]


I have actually read the Bible, and the more palatable versions practiced today are more in line with some of the text.

It boils down to them ignoring the good parts, and other Christians ignoring the bad parts. I strongly prefer the latter, of course, but that doesn't make the latter any more right or less wrong.
posted by Flunkie at 11:34 PM on March 19, 2009


d-d-d-Dad....?
posted by Navelgazer at 11:38 PM on March 19, 2009 [1 favorite]


Also, I don't know if this means anything, but I've been watching random clips from Freddy Got Fingered on youtube all night, and then stopped to check MeFi when I came across this post. The "Shame Shame Shame" video fits in perfectly.
posted by Navelgazer at 11:44 PM on March 19, 2009


I followed Acts 2:38, and received the gift of the Holy Spirit. It's true; the Ginsu knife is the only knife you'll ever need, but now I can't get off His damned mailing list...
posted by Pinback at 11:47 PM on March 19, 2009


This video was great. "Our country's in danger from a mysterious stranger" etc...

Great as in, so bad, so very very very bad.
posted by awfurby at 11:57 PM on March 19, 2009


I love how Christian sects will always refer to competing denominations as cults when in fact, any religion and it's sects that start out are actually cults. Amusing.
posted by Chocomog at 4:32 AM on March 20, 2009


F that. Any religion is a cult, period, startup or not. Believe or leave or die.
posted by fourcheesemac at 4:50 AM on March 20, 2009 [1 favorite]


This video was great . "Our country's in danger from a mysterious stranger" etc...

Great as in, so bad, so very very very bad.
posted by awfurby


The one guy is playing in his socks. I think you can add one more "very" in there.
posted by orme at 5:07 AM on March 20, 2009 [2 favorites]


I love how Christian sects will always refer to competing denominations as cults when in fact, any religion and it's sects that start out are actually cults. Amusing.

F that. Any religion is a cult, period, startup or not. Believe or leave or die.


Clearly you guys haven't heard of Unitarians.
posted by Pollomacho at 5:22 AM on March 20, 2009 [2 favorites]


- These guys seem more representative of the Christian tradition than the more palatable versions popular today.
- Maybe if you look at a lot of quotes taken out of context. But if you actually *read* the bible, the "more palatable" versions practised today are much more in line with the text.
- I have actually read the Bible, and the more palatable versions practiced today are more in line with some of the text.

In fact, no one who speaks of being a bibbli-cow literalist really knows what he's talking about.

It's only relatively recent evangelical Protestants that think the Bible can be interpreted literally. Notice how the branches of liturgy that have been around for a very long time have all kinds of weird assumptions and stuff? You think they didn't try to follow it literally, at first? Hell, the Catholics basically wrote it anyway, partly directly (who th' heck do you think Paul is, muthafucka) but also by deciding which books are okay and which ones are apocryphal. Time was, they belived every passage could be understood seven different ways, one of which was literally. You'd think they'd understand the resulting mixture better than anyone.

To consider the Bible a holy book you'd have to believe the process, not just of writing but of constructing and publishing it, divinely inspired, and in that case who's to say the misprints that say "Thou shalt kill" aren't the more inspired ones?

Really, no matter how you look at it, there are parts of the Bible that contradict other parts. There are parts of the Bible that are pornographic. And there are parts of the Bible that say some weird-ass... stuff... that no one who hasn't mutilated their own common sense lobe with a Jesus Saves!-branded free pass-around ministry pen could ever think was meant literally, such as the entire book of Revelations that's right kiddies I went there.

The go-to guy on these matters is slacktivist, who is perhaps the most clear-sighted Christian I've ever read. His politics are fairly directly in line with Jesus' (as far as possible: pretty much liberal) but opposed to the popular face of "Christianity" the media presents today, which is a puppet-head.
posted by JHarris at 5:28 AM on March 20, 2009 [5 favorites]


The one guy is playing in his socks. I think you can add one more "very" in there.

Add another for the pith helmet. Actually, add two.
posted by Mountain Goatse at 5:44 AM on March 20, 2009


wow, I had him so confused with this guy.
posted by kuujjuarapik at 6:05 AM on March 20, 2009 [1 favorite]


Holy Crap!
posted by Potomac Avenue at 6:10 AM on March 20, 2009


Seriously, the songs put it over the top. A+ Trolling.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 6:11 AM on March 20, 2009


I can't help but wondering how Steven's brothers Johnny and Edgar feel about his music.
posted by adamrice at 7:07 AM on March 20, 2009


These guys are giving snuggies a bad name.
posted by filthy light thief at 7:07 AM on March 20, 2009 [1 favorite]


Damn, they slay! They make Yahowa 13 sound like Mariah Carey. Too bad they're philosophy is filled with ignorant christian redneck bullshit. Otherwise I'd invite them over to the practice space to lay down some acid rock. And yeah they need a different drummer- that dude looks like a square.
posted by Liquidwolf at 7:08 AM on March 20, 2009


Is he related to Edgar and Johnny?
posted by mrducts at 9:18 AM on March 20, 2009


the entire book of Revelations that's right kiddies I went there.

If you'd actually read it, you'd know that the title is singular. Having bolloxed even that basic eye-to-brain transfer, one cringes to think what else you may have come away with.
posted by Hovercraft Eel at 10:10 AM on March 20, 2009


Is that a real beard, or is that a Sears beard?
posted by Guy_Inamonkeysuit at 10:33 AM on March 20, 2009 [2 favorites]


Damn, they slay

Yeah, until they open their mouths. Then they sound like a crappy Dylan rip-off. Odd combination.

I kind of love the anti-Obama song because I know how miserably angry he must be all the time now. As someone who got to lay that burden down last november, I take glee in seeing crazy scum pick it up.
posted by lumpenprole at 11:58 AM on March 20, 2009


Damnit aquaman, I wanted to be the first to bring up my love for their fascinating pome.
posted by thsmchnekllsfascists at 2:19 PM on March 20, 2009


If you'd actually read it, you'd know that the title is singular. Having bolloxed even that basic eye-to-brain transfer, one cringes to think what else you may have come away with.

Oh, I've got a revelation for you, all right. (shaking fist)
posted by JHarris at 11:34 AM on March 21, 2009


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