I admit I laughed when that Joe Spinell-lookin' guy stabbed his sword through the door. posted by Joe Beese at 9:25 AM on April 8
You make it sound like you don't keep a sword by the door for just such an occasion. posted by echo target at 9:32 AM on April 8 [1 favorite]
Hey, Milwaukee! Yeah, that's not a Canadian accent, it's a sout-side accent, ain'a? posted by JJ86 at 9:33 AM on April 8
No wonder the cops beat the shit out of everybody! If they don't, they'll get stabbed in the fucking face. posted by lattiboy at 9:35 AM on April 8 [4 favorites]
Typical Metafilter knife hating. This is anecdotal at best. Correlation doesn't equal cause. This is just spotlighting the work of a few bad apples to make the the whole cutlery profession look bad, when in fact there are many hardworking, morally upright knives out there doing their jobs every day. But something like that obviously wouldn't play in a bastion of negativity and left-wing me-tooism like Metafilter.
Just last week I read a story about someone killing someone else with a spoon, but yeah, it never showed up on the blue.
My uncle is a knife. He says stuff like this happens rarely at best. posted by hifiparasol at 9:36 AM on April 8 [35 favorites]
Having checked out the rest of the site, I can safety say I don't think I could physically take the amount of drugs needed to enjoy this.
hifiparasol: those so-called "hardworking, morally upright knives" you speak of still protect their own in these instances, putting up the "pointy wall of silence." Their hands are hardly clean. posted by Navelgazer at 9:40 AM on April 8 [3 favorites]
I used to be a bag boy at the Piggly Wiggly in my town and when the registers weren't busy they would have me stock shelves. I stocked with an older gentleman who strongly disliked one of the managers who supervised him (in all fairness, that manager was indeed a total dick). Well every time this manager would say anything to the stocker, the stocker would say under his breath "Yeah yeah. What makes you think I won't cut you?" or "What makes him think I won't cut his ass?" or something of that nature, but always involving the fact that the stocker was not opposed to the concept of cutting the manager, and yet the manager was acting as if the stocker was.
those so-called "hardworking, morally upright knives" you speak of still protect their own in these instances, putting up the "pointy wall of silence." Their hands are hardly clean.
I admit it might be hard for you to understand from your position of relative comfort. But knives are out there on the front lines every day, opening our parcels, cutting our steaks, and spreading our peanut butter. It takes a special kind of presence of mind to survive that, day in and day out, and still do a good job. As a result, sometimes blood is spilled. It's the price we pay as a society for the ability to cut things.
If you want to blame something, blame a society that consistently demands its oranges cut into convenient wedges without splashing any of the juice anywhere. But don't blame the individual knives, that's just liberal privilege talking. posted by hifiparasol at 9:53 AM on April 8 [10 favorites]
Also, none of those people confronting the police with things in their hands seem to have heard about what you should bring to a gunfight. posted by Kirth Gerson at 10:04 AM on April 8
cutcutcutcutcutcutcutcutcut
posted by adamdschneider
oh, i've got a knife, you can ride it if you like
it's got orcs and headless ghouls and things to make it look good
i'd give it to you if i could once i sharpen it posted by pyramid termite at 10:06 AM on April 8 [2 favorites]
Eponysterical in German.
posted by Your Time Machine Sucks
It's little clips like this that make me wonder what future generations will think of the data found on the servers buried under the rubble of Google HQ, sublevel 629-5A-E573. They'll spend years reverse engineering the technology required to decode the ancient digital data, months renovating corrupted ones and zeros only to find.. This. And proceed to enter its contents as historical fact. posted by pyrex at 10:33 AM on April 8
I got charged with possession of a concealed weapon by a redneck cop when i was 16 for having a machete under the seat of my car. My mistake was not attacking him with it. posted by Liquidwolf at 10:43 AM on April 8
There is an image of a crazy homeless man muttering to himself while thrashing and stabbing the air with his blade.
The voiceover for this explains that he is signaling that he wants to protect his space.
If you aren't seeing the comedy here I'm not sure how much further I can dissect it without losing the patient. posted by Navelgazer at 11:43 AM on April 8
If you aren't seeing the comedy here I'm not sure how much further I can dissect it without losing the patient.
In fairness, everybody has a different sense of humor. And some people have no sense of humor, and like to point out that fact in public forums by pointing to funny things and declaring them unfunny. posted by Astro Zombie at 11:45 AM on April 8
Geez - I was only kiddin' posted by koeselitz at 11:55 AM on April 8
That's ... um, that's really funny, AZ! posted by Kirth Gerson at 11:59 AM on April 8
In my town we have a bit of knife violence in between the gangs and very little shooting.
Supposedly this is on orders from La eMe that they can fight all they want but no guns.
Also guns cost more than your moms kitchen knife. posted by Iron Rat at 12:00 PM on April 8
Connecticut cutcutcutcut... posted by Drasher at 12:05 PM on April 8
You know, most of the real world useful (read: "not very useful in parts of the real world I tend to visit") knife fighting technique I know I learned from an Illinois State Trooper and a Federal Marshal. (And yes, I know them both by funny names and much peace, love and beating one another with sticks has transpired. And that's just one of my weird hobbies.)
The interesting part was where one of them showed me how close a guy with a knife had to be for him to be able to stab you before you could draw a gun and shoot him (if it came to that). It's a LOT farther than you'd tend to think.
They also showed me enough disarm techniques that I think I've handed over more knives than the Ginsu people. posted by Kid Charlemagne at 12:15 PM on April 8
It's a mashup of scenes from the FBI's Surviving Edged Weapons film. It's famous in FMA circles - Tuhon Leo Gaje and Guro Dan Inosanto were advisors on the content.
"What he's telling you is, don't invade my space, or I'll attack you."
Sound advice. I have that phrase crocheted onto a doily I keep on the end table right next to my Zulu Assegai and my brush axe.
I'm waiting for you coppers... posted by quin at 12:33 PM on April 8
Is this something I'd need to own a machete to laugh at? posted by mannequito at 12:43 PM on April 8
The interesting part was where one of them showed me how close a guy with a knife had to be for him to be able to stab you before you could draw a gun and shoot him (if it came to that). It's a LOT farther than you'd tend to think.
12 feet or so if I recall? I never did any knife fighting as such but I practiced some sword arts, including some short sword. I think we went over this in class and it was pretty surprising to see. posted by splice at 12:50 PM on April 8
It's a LOT farther than you'd tend to think.
Yeah, as a knife wielding maniac, I can usually close the distance between us way before you can get your gun out of the holster and pointed at me. There's an old joke about "bringing a knife to a gun fight" that makes a lot of people who have some experience with cutting tools chuckle darkly when people use it with a seeming sense of authority. posted by quin at 1:09 PM on April 8
It's a mashup of scenes from the FBI's Surviving Edged Weapons film.
Holy crap, my stage combat and stage makeup teacher worked on this thing! He's the one that made all the severed fingers and whatnot.
It's a security guard fighting a guy with a knife near the subway station in Ruoholahti, western Helsinki. In the beginning you see him spraying mace or pepper spray in the man's direction but it's unclear whether that was effective.
The person who posted this implies in a comment that the man with the knife had a bag full of blades of various kinds and was heavily intoxicated, and the guard had been chasing him all the way from the subway. posted by Anything at 2:38 PM on April 8
I did not know this, but in Finland, according to the comments, security guards need a license in order to carry a baton, and apparently this guard didn't have one, so he used his legs instead. posted by Anything at 2:42 PM on April 8
All the chuckling aside, it does seem to be gospel in (at least) American police agencies that anyone within 21 feet of you with an edged weapon is an immediate and lethal threat, and constitutes grounds for an armed response. posted by baylink at 6:27 PM on April 8 [1 favorite]
If I am within 21 feet of you with an edged weapon, you better be thinking immediate and lethal threat. 21 feet is well under 2 seconds. Just a thought. posted by jcworth at 9:15 PM on April 8
Anyone dumb enough to hold a swiss army knife like that as a weapon deserves to have their fingers cut off (and to be beaten by a cop with a baton).
I wonder if the cops in the small town I did my undergrad at saw that video - they kept pulling me over and asking if I had knives in the car. Yes, I had one in the trunk and I had one on me. The first time, they took them back to their car (with lights running the whole while no-less) but fortunately, they returned them to me but I wonder why it took them 15 minutes to do so; to call me in to check my background or to figure out how to undo the liner lock?
Knives are handy tools; I *still* carry one with me and its demonstrated utility has won over even skittish people I know who subsequently consider carrying or at least have something small on a keychain around. I forget to pocket my PDA more often than I forget to clip my pocket knife. posted by porpoise at 9:44 PM on April 8
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posted by The Whelk at 9:23 AM on April 8