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April 22, 2009 7:10 PM   Subscribe

Yo Joe
posted by device55 (68 comments total) 16 users marked this as a favorite

 
lots of beeping and explosions
posted by kliuless at 7:21 PM on April 22, 2009


Body Massage?
posted by The White Hat at 7:26 PM on April 22, 2009 [2 favorites]


I can't really distinguish this from Stephen Colbert Presents: Stephen Colbert's Alpha Squad 7: The New Tek Jansen Adventures
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 7:31 PM on April 22, 2009 [3 favorites]


Pork chop sandwiches!

Yeah, this is pretty much all this thread's gonna have.
posted by dirigibleman at 7:35 PM on April 22, 2009


If you have left missiles on your enemy's island base, it's not decommisioned, now is it?
posted by boo_radley at 7:38 PM on April 22, 2009


Can't watch this video where I am. :(
posted by Joseph Gurl at 7:38 PM on April 22, 2009



Pork chop sandwiches!


Oh shit! Get the fuck out of here! What are you doing! Go! Get the fuck out of here you stupid idiot! Fuck, we're all dead! Get the fuck out!
posted by Dia Nomou Nomo Apethanon at 7:41 PM on April 22, 2009 [9 favorites]


U.S. only.

What was it?
posted by Sys Rq at 7:45 PM on April 22, 2009 [1 favorite]


also, FAIL NOBRA.
posted by boo_radley at 7:45 PM on April 22, 2009


Nice catch, blanco niño. But too bad your ass got saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaacked
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 7:49 PM on April 22, 2009 [4 favorites]


As a Canadian who grew up constantly bombarded by American television all I can say is "what the fuck internet, where's my GI Joe?"
posted by furtive at 7:51 PM on April 22, 2009


Journal of a New COBRA Recruit.
posted by Rangeboy at 7:53 PM on April 22, 2009 [2 favorites]


As a Canadian who grew up constantly bombarded by American television all I can say is "what the fuck internet, where's my GI Joe?"

Mi mi mi mi mi mi mi mi mi mi.

Mi mi mi mi mi mi mi mi mi mi.

Mi mi mi mi mi mi. Mi mi mi. Mi mi mi mi mi.

Nah I'm just kidding with ya
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 7:53 PM on April 22, 2009 [5 favorites]


Dude did some nice work on that clip. I used to race through my homework so I could watch G.I. Joe on weekday afternoons. I want to see more.
posted by emelenjr at 7:57 PM on April 22, 2009


I'm a computer! Stop all the downloadin'!
posted by infinitewindow at 8:10 PM on April 22, 2009 [3 favorites]


There are 8 mini-episodes, with two more to follow tomorrow!
posted by device55 at 8:10 PM on April 22, 2009


For my fellow canucks, up to episode 8. Don't know if there are more or not.
posted by juv3nal at 8:10 PM on April 22, 2009 [2 favorites]


Blood sports? In MY GI Joe?
posted by cavalier at 8:17 PM on April 22, 2009


That was a hell of a lot better than I thought it would be.
posted by boo_radley at 8:18 PM on April 22, 2009


Same files, but organized as a playlist. And I've seen all 8 now so there must be more because shit is unresolved.
posted by juv3nal at 8:21 PM on April 22, 2009 [1 favorite]


Oh. Huh. So it's straight. Weird.

Nice to know the US is outsourcing its propaganda, though.
posted by Sys Rq at 8:21 PM on April 22, 2009 [1 favorite]


juv3nal, the "Yo" link has your timeline straight from the horse's mouth.
posted by boo_radley at 8:23 PM on April 22, 2009


MetaFilter: Built to G.I. Joe standards.
posted by clearly at 8:34 PM on April 22, 2009


Gack! Warren Ellis?! Oh my. And he had no prior knowledge of the series, so he could umm... affect dramatic change with impunity. Nice! No spoils :p :)
posted by cavalier at 8:38 PM on April 22, 2009


Yeah, that was pretty good. Cobra Commander not being a bumbling idiot is actually far more interesting. He's way better than Serpentor was.
posted by dammitjim at 8:53 PM on April 22, 2009 [1 favorite]


FWIW, these are really good.

I love your movie.
posted by dirigibleman at 9:12 PM on April 22, 2009 [1 favorite]


Great job framing the post, device55.
posted by knave at 9:30 PM on April 22, 2009


That's some overwrought voice acting...
posted by delmoi at 9:33 PM on April 22, 2009


Somehow, the wikipedia article on the Fenslerfilm spots makes the PSA parodies even more enjoyable for me.
posted by thalakan at 9:37 PM on April 22, 2009 [2 favorites]


Snow Job then sings a loud "Oh" to an A note in a bass-baritone voice.
posted by dirigibleman at 9:41 PM on April 22, 2009 [1 favorite]


And as long as we're talking fensler films, the two that never fail to crack me up:
Barbeque
HUFFING
posted by boo_radley at 9:45 PM on April 22, 2009


Worth it for this exchange alone:
HASBRO: No, Warren, you cannot wipe Beijing from the face of the earth.

ME: Shit. (pause) What about Moscow?

HASBRO: Wiping Moscow from the face of the earth would be fine.


Who wants a body massage? Body massage!
posted by ooga_booga at 10:25 PM on April 22, 2009 [3 favorites]


What's Eric Fensler up to these days?


Holy cow, I'm totally going so fast--aww FUCK!


posted by headless at 10:41 PM on April 22, 2009


Can't watch this video where I am. :(

Don't worry, it's not that good.

This reminds me of the Batman/Superman series a while back, only worse. The animation and voicing are bad. New Joe vs old Joe is like Gobots vs Transformers.
posted by Flex1970 at 10:47 PM on April 22, 2009


this seems good.

that is all.
posted by localhuman at 10:47 PM on April 22, 2009


Aww hell no, whassup dog?
Hey kid, I'm a computer! Stop all the downloadin'!
[self-link to Fensler/GI Joe FPP]
posted by not_on_display at 12:12 AM on April 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


Look at all your different colored hats!

don't give him the stick

we all got favorites here.
posted by sarcasman at 12:47 AM on April 23, 2009


They killed Major Bludd? FUCK YOU GI JOE.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 3:28 AM on April 23, 2009


Jeez, all these replies, and a link to his site but no one is chiming in with the writer's name? Warren fucking Ellis, King of the Internet!!!!!

In case you have been hiding under a rock, he's the Winston Wolf of mainstream comics. He's the guy they call in to fix a title. He's Quentin Tartantino himself when it comes to his independent titles. If you haven't read Transmetropolitan, you should. If your cheap and have a bit of time, start reading FreakAngels. Warning: it'll leave you starving for more, rationed at 6 pages a week.
posted by Catblack at 3:51 AM on April 23, 2009 [2 favorites]


Is it just me, or is Spike in a uniform messing with your head too?
posted by nonlocal at 4:32 AM on April 23, 2009


I guess since they got rid of the harmless blue and red lasers, people are actually going to die? Whoa, Joe.
posted by orme at 6:04 AM on April 23, 2009


In case you have been hiding under a rock, he's the Winston Wolf of mainstream comics. man of a million sycophants
posted by kittens for breakfast at 6:05 AM on April 23, 2009 [2 favorites]


Eric Fensler's band is pretty damn cool...
posted by markkraft at 6:53 AM on April 23, 2009


what the fuck?

I've only watched the first episode, or webisode or whatever, but this... ain't that great.

I mean, the first thing I noticed was when one of the joes says "Our satellites are down. All of them. Anything that operates with satellites is useless to us. Plus, something's happening in new york." I wanted Duke to say "We're on a disabled ship in the middle of the ocean, how do you know something's happening in New York?" and then be replied to with "The Satellite feed said that... ah! You got me!"

Plus, an international terrorist organization sends a video message to the UN threatening to blow up cities until it gets control of the world's governments? Really? I didn't realize that, during all that research he'd done to learn about G.I. Joe, he'd also been researching the plot to every shitty spy movie and tv show every made. Look, I love the Pink Panther, too, but that doesn't mean Cobra Commander should be Chief Inspector Dreyfus.

That was another moment when alternate dialog came to me. After Cobra Commander made his demands, one of the UN delegates should have yelled out "We're the United Nations! This is like demanding control of a restaurant from the bus boy!"

Pretty awesome that they killed Bazooka, though.
posted by shmegegge at 8:29 AM on April 23, 2009 [4 favorites]


So, before I invest any time into this, is it any good?
posted by Eideteker at 8:39 AM on April 23, 2009


As a child of the 80s, I enjoyed it. Yeah, the dialogue is often awkward, and there is plenty of goofy plot with holes... but SNAKE EYES KICKING COBRA ASS.

It's a re-do of the original cartoon, without the kid-safe-everyone-has-a-parachute stuff.
posted by Fleebnork at 8:56 AM on April 23, 2009


shmegegge--you never watched the cartoons as a kid, did you?
posted by Squid Voltaire at 9:31 AM on April 23, 2009


Oh. My. Fensler. How the fuck have I never seen those before? I blame you people for keeping them from me. That was amazing.
posted by Rock Steady at 9:34 AM on April 23, 2009


shmegegge--you never watched the cartoons as a kid, did you?

of course I did. I've yelled "Cobraaa lalalalalalalalalalala!" with my friends often enough that it's now sufficient to get a laugh from any of us whenever one of us does it, regardless of context. I'm just saying, that as a retread that's supposed to improve on the old show and entertain an older audience, it still kinda sucks.

I loved GI Joe as a kid and all, but its entertainment value for me now is purely nostalgic. It wasn't actually a good show.
posted by shmegegge at 9:38 AM on April 23, 2009


Does anyone have a link to that post from the original (now defunct) Warren Ellis Forum where he ripped on fanboys who were still into Thundercats?
posted by Halloween Jack at 9:42 AM on April 23, 2009


Dear Mr. Ellis --

I enjoyed Transmetropolitan.

Ignition City, however, is a fun idea spoiled by pre-adolescent poop jokes and misogyny.

Please stop believing your own press.

Thanks,

A guy who buys comics

PS. I have not watched your take on GI Joe because it is impossible for me to care any less about GI Joe than I do now.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 10:48 AM on April 23, 2009


I especially appreciated the casting of Anderson Cooper as Duke. Who says he can't play straight?
posted by bicyclefish at 12:05 PM on April 23, 2009 [2 favorites]


I've seen all 10 that are up so far. They are pretty good. Ellis gives the characters and situations an edge that was missing in the 80's series. Are the situations recycled? Sure, but it's a reimagining of a pre-existing property, so it needs to still have some of the flavor of the original, or why do it at all.

It seems to me that it's a case of trying to make G.I. Joe for adults who liked the show back in the day, rather than for children, while still allowing for a sense of nostalgia for the original. An interesting choice.

I like the ninja sub-plot.
posted by MythMaker at 1:02 PM on April 23, 2009


The reboot is pretty decent in my opinion. It does get better after the first episode. They're 4 minutes each. You're not making much of a commitment watching Episode 2.

Those Fensler PSAs are anti-funny to me. They are so profoundly stupid and annoying I cannot wring any enjoyment what-so-ever from them, and I am immediately suspect of anyone who says they actually find them funny.

One of my best friends is absolutely enamored of those Fensler PSAs, thinks they are pure genius. It has caused a long-standing wedge between us. When someone thinks "Hey kid, I'm a computer" is the pinnacle of comedy, I don't even know what to say.

Rock Steady, you must have had a down internet connection from 2003-2007. I seriously have no idea how you could have missed this. It was like "All Your Base" for a while.
posted by Ynoxas at 1:23 PM on April 23, 2009


Those Fensler PSAs are anti-funny to me. They are so profoundly stupid and annoying I cannot wring any enjoyment what-so-ever from them, and I am immediately suspect of anyone who says they actually find them funny.

There is something very, very wrong with you.
posted by Sys Rq at 1:31 PM on April 23, 2009


I'm a bit disappointed they didn't include Pimp Daddy Destro!
posted by Catblack at 2:39 PM on April 23, 2009


Sadly, it appears some humorless fuck has wiped the internets clean of Serpentor performing "Whoo-Hah! (Got You All in Check)." I assure you it is the only "re-imagined" GI Joe any of us need in our lives.

It seems to me that it's a case of trying to make G.I. Joe for adults who liked the show back in the day, rather than for children, while still allowing for a sense of nostalgia for the original. An interesting choice.

It's basically the last twenty years of mainstream superhero comics (and I thought it was supposed to be the boomers who wouldn't let go of their childhoods and let the kids have a turn, amirite?). I haven't watched this yet, but recycling the animation just sounds cheap and lazy, even if it's supposed to be ironic; I'd be a lot more psyched if they'd made something new.

I want to say re: Ellis that though his style and his tropes become...uh...familiar very quickly, I don't think he's a bad writer at all. I'm not even sure he believes his own press. He can be a very good writer. It's mostly his fanbase that tends to annoy me. Often, they seem to annoy him, too; I'm sure that he understands.
posted by kittens for breakfast at 3:41 PM on April 23, 2009


Goddamn Adult Swim and their stupid-ass belief that Puerto Rico isn't part of the United States.

Is there anybody in the entertainment industry who passed a single fricking geography class in their lives? Morons.
posted by Michael Roberts at 4:52 PM on April 23, 2009


DEAR MOTHER FUCKING US ONLY VIDEO STREAMING WEBSITES
JUST LINK TO THE ACTUAL DAMN VIDEO ON YOUR CANADIAN/INTERNATIONAL ALTERNATIVE WEBSITE
DO NOT JUST TELL US TO GO TO SOME OTHER SITE AND LOOK FOR THE VIDEO OUR GOD DAMNED SELVES

SINCERELY,
SICK OF YOUR SHIT
posted by tehloki at 5:02 PM on April 23, 2009 [6 favorites]


One of my best friends is absolutely enamored of those Fensler PSAs, thinks they are pure genius. It has caused a long-standing wedge between us.

A long-standing wedge between us, dude I had no idea. Is this why you don't kiss me on the mouth anymore?


Pork chop sandwiches
posted by nola at 7:13 PM on April 23, 2009


I don't think I've ever seen tehloki that mad before. Yo Tehlo!
posted by shmegegge at 8:25 AM on April 24, 2009


It's just such a lazy and user-hostile decision. It pisses me right the hell off.
posted by tehloki at 10:11 AM on April 24, 2009 [2 favorites]


Is this why you don't kiss me on the mouth anymore?

No, that would be the Copenhagen.
posted by Ynoxas at 6:49 PM on April 24, 2009


What if I switched to Peach Skoal® ?
posted by nola at 8:24 PM on April 24, 2009


last installment here

Also, K4B, I was gushing about Ellis because after all they hype I've read about Watchmen recently, I felt there was one comic writer that was much more deserving of praise and, dare I say it, adaptation than Moore... and I wasn't sure everyone had heard about him. I have gotten many hours of pleasure reading his works. I agree he gets old quick, sometimes. Stiil, if hollywood can't pull 4 or 5 movies from just the Mike Gravel character alone, they deserve to die horribly.

That said, I HATED the last installment of Resolute. I think the only juvenile holdover from the old series is that these faceless cobra grunts are still following stupid orders blindly. Oh, Cobra base inside a shopping mall, yeah great. Retractable roof hiding anti air missles, sure, and I bet the Baroness put on a gold jacket and went all Century 21 to aquire them. But fuck, the Joe team pretty much killing... how many thousands to save what... Washington, DC?
posted by Catblack at 6:08 AM on April 26, 2009


What the hell was the deal with the so-called "Seven Steps" in the ninja episode (which was pretty much a throwaway bit of intrigue)? The Sixth Step enabled one to split a huge log coming one's way. I'm not a doctor or a physicist, but I'm pretty sure that would cause catastrophic damage and instant or quick death when applied anywhere above the waistline. The Seventh Step was a goofy series of blows that had to be timed and placed just so in order to cause death. Granted, I'm dissecting an imaginary animal, but I like my fantasy to have some degree of internal coherence even if the whole larger idea is unreal.
posted by Burhanistan at 2:43 PM on April 27, 2009


What the hell was the deal with the so-called "Seven Steps" in the ninja episode (which was pretty much a throwaway bit of intrigue)? The Sixth Step enabled one to split a huge log coming one's way. I'm not a doctor or a physicist, but I'm pretty sure that would cause catastrophic damage and instant or quick death when applied anywhere above the waistline. The Seventh Step was a goofy series of blows that had to be timed and placed just so in order to cause death.

I figured it was just shorthand for seekrit knowledge. The sixth or seventh step aren't just individual techniques but represent whole levels of ability that are superior to the ones below them, like colored belts in karate or whatnot.
posted by juv3nal at 5:19 PM on April 27, 2009


A bit like the Five Point Palm Exploding Heart Technique in Kill Bill 2.

Apparently something assuredly lethal requires a nintendo-like code.

Up Up Down Down Left Right Left Right B A Select
posted by Ynoxas at 8:22 PM on April 30, 2009


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