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I, Zombie
May 19, 2009 1:47 AM   Subscribe

Colin is a new British horror film told from a Zombie's point of view. It was made for £45 and apparently it went down well at Cannes . Peter Jackson's first film Bad Taste did a similar thing. This documentary features Jackson's parents talking about taking the film to France.
posted by debord (90 comments total) 12 users marked this as a favorite

 
This is my second link that features content from the Daily Mail. However I do not live on Daily Mail Island. Honest.
posted by debord at 1:49 AM on May 19, 2009


I guess 45 quid is pretty cheap, if you already own DV cameras, computers for editing, know friends who will all pitch in for nothing, etc. Seems slightly disingenuous for them to claim that's the actual cost though - I suggest they're not factoring in "every day" costs or the costs of equipment purchased / hired before the project...

I still wanna see it though!
posted by benzo8 at 1:52 AM on May 19, 2009 [3 favorites]


I curious to see how a drama can work from a zombie's perspective (the trailer definitely didn't make it look like a comedy). Because once you're a zombie, aren't you just a pair of jaws, basically?

Or you could do what Romero did in Land of the Dead and make some of the zombies partly human and that was, you know, fucking stupid.
posted by bardic at 1:57 AM on May 19, 2009


I hope it's as good as this one...
posted by Catblack at 2:08 AM on May 19, 2009


Because once you're a zombie, aren't you just a pair of jaws, basically?

A pair of jaws and an amazing whang.
posted by Astro Zombie at 2:10 AM on May 19, 2009 [2 favorites]


"Porn of the Dead" [NSFW, unless you work for Necrophiliac's Anonymous]
posted by bardic at 2:21 AM on May 19, 2009


When he was first starting Shane Meadows reckoned he made short films for a fiver (ie the cost of the hi-def tape), borrowing all the equipment from his local college.

When he moved up to slightly increased budgets he reckoned a vital component was enough beer for the after-shoot party
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 2:21 AM on May 19, 2009


Metafilter: A pair of jaws and an amazing whang.
posted by Rangeboy at 2:21 AM on May 19, 2009 [1 favorite]


... just a pair of jaws, basically?

If only Spielberg had thought of that.
posted by The Ultimate Olympian at 2:34 AM on May 19, 2009 [1 favorite]


It was made for £45

Approximately $69, for those in the former colonies.
posted by tapeguy at 2:49 AM on May 19, 2009


Saying the movie was mode for £45 is like saying that the cheese and tomato omelette with an ounce of white truffle you made for breakfast was only a buck twenty five since you already had the truffles lying around from last nights dinner party.
posted by Justinian at 2:54 AM on May 19, 2009 [4 favorites]


Well, 45 quid is like $24 mllion American dollars these days. He could have made a cheap flowershop bouquet of Titanics for that.
posted by maryh at 2:55 AM on May 19, 2009


Damn it.

/sighs, crosses out "Zombie movie from zombie perspective" from Rokusan's Big List of Genius Ideas That He Thinks Are Original.
posted by rokusan at 2:56 AM on May 19, 2009 [2 favorites]


Hah, there's a Wilhelm scream in that trailer, 41 seconds in. Nice touch.
posted by Happy Dave at 3:33 AM on May 19, 2009 [1 favorite]


However I do not live on Daily Mail Island.

Oh, thank God.

If you did, we would have to organize a rescue mission.
posted by louche mustachio at 4:15 AM on May 19, 2009


Damn it.

/sighs, crosses out "Zombie movie from zombie perspective" from Rokusan's Big List of Genius Ideas That He Thinks Are Original.


I met a guy who was writing a screenplay with this exact idea. He's going to be pissed! When I started dropping all kinds of zombie references on him, he seemed clueless to about half of them and I kept thinking you should know your shit about a subject rather than just thinking up a cool ploy to use.
posted by P.o.B. at 4:50 AM on May 19, 2009


My favourite low-budget British zombie film is Dead Creatures. It's like a Ken Loach kitchen-sink film, told through the eyes of an underclass of undead/infected (somewhere between vampires and zombies; they need to prey on humans to survive, are created through infection, and start to decay and fall apart after a year or two).
posted by acb at 4:51 AM on May 19, 2009 [1 favorite]


Well no wonder Zombies are so slow. They blink so often and so slowly they can barely see anything!
posted by DU at 4:54 AM on May 19, 2009


If you did, we would have to organize a rescue mission.

"Garius! This is Captain Mustachio! We have recovered the Principle and are inbound to your position. You lads still with us Lieutenant?!"

*crk* "...utenant Garius here sir. Evac point is ...ecure but taking heavy loses." *crk* "lost Sargeant Rokusan to a bu...shit article about the healing power of magnets." *crk* "Enemy trying to force our ...eft flank with an intense Letter Writing Campaign. Diverting troops to...OHMYGOD *crrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrk*

"Lieutenant?! Lieutenant?! Come in man!"

*crk* "Hello?! Sir?! It's... I... it's Corporal Happy Dave here sir... I... oh my God... the Lieutenant... he's..." *crk*

"It's alright Corporal, calm down, we're on our way. What happened to the Lieutenant, son?"

*crk* "They... Oh my God sir it's horrible. They must have managed to get a small Conservative majority on the local Council - they revised the planning permission for the borders of our beach-head sir. The Lieutenant was too close to the edge when the change kicked in sir! It took his head clean off... So... Much... Blood..." *crk*

"Damn them. Damn them all to hell."
posted by garius at 4:56 AM on May 19, 2009 [13 favorites]


It was horrible sir. Absolutely horrible. They just. kept. coming.

I can still hear their blatant illogic and seething Tory anger, in the dark watches of the night.
posted by Happy Dave at 5:08 AM on May 19, 2009


Blatant illogic? Seething anger?
Perhaps they're Middle England Zombies?
posted by debord at 5:12 AM on May 19, 2009


They did this in an episode of Fear Itself. "New Year's Day" was the name of the episode. Really well done.
posted by domo at 5:16 AM on May 19, 2009


If you did, we would have to organize a rescue mission.

Actually, a "nuke it from orbit" mission would be more appropriate.

Rokusan's Big List of Genius Ideas That He Thinks Are Original.

How about a zombie movie from the perspective of a:
(1) Tree
(2) Vampire
(3) Brick
(4) Baseball bat/ Fire axe/ Shotgun
(5) God?
posted by WalterMitty at 5:16 AM on May 19, 2009


They just. kept. coming.

Is that a reference to Porn of the Dead?
posted by WalterMitty at 5:17 AM on May 19, 2009


I wonder if they've made a teen slasher film from the viewpoint of the slasher. I imagine it would probably be a comedy.
posted by WalterMitty at 5:19 AM on May 19, 2009


I wonder if they've made a teen slasher film from the viewpoint of the slasher. I imagine it would probably be a comedy.

It would be set on a lawn and the soundtrack would be alternately loud rock music and utter silence.
posted by DU at 5:23 AM on May 19, 2009


I wonder if they've made a teen slasher film from the viewpoint of the slasher. I imagine it would probably be a comedy.

You need to see this film then. More of a mockumentary than a straight up slasher, but it's hilarious and smart and even manages to be a little scary.
posted by aldurtregi at 6:01 AM on May 19, 2009


How about a zombie movie from the perspective of a:
(1) Tree



"Oh my! this doesn't look good for the walking things! They keep getting eaten! I hope one of them falls near me, I'm feeling low on nitrogen. I wonder if they'll come back-Oh look! My squirrel friend! Hello there, would you like a nut? Yes I know, it's very frantic out there. No I don't know why, who can say why they do anything they do? Let us not think of such silly things and enjoy the sun. Ahhh. "

This, of course, assumes the zombies are not on your lawn.
posted by The Whelk at 6:28 AM on May 19, 2009 [8 favorites]


This, of course, assumes the zombies are not on your lawn.

Which can lead to a damn catchy song.

posted by bap98189 at 6:46 AM on May 19, 2009 [1 favorite]


I'm surprised nobody's mentioned Peter Jackson's Dead Alive (AKA Braindead) which might have been the goriest movie I've seen, next to Cannibal Holocaust.
posted by dunkadunc at 6:52 AM on May 19, 2009


Nevermind rokusan there are plenty of other genres out there that need a shift in perspective - can I suggest Romantic-Comedy-From-The-Perspective-Of-The-Magic-Black-Friend?

"Christ this guy is an idiot. Why do I hang out with him?"
posted by Ritchie at 6:56 AM on May 19, 2009 [4 favorites]


I wonder if they've made a teen slasher film from the viewpoint of the slasher. I imagine it would probably be a comedy.

Sort of...
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 6:59 AM on May 19, 2009 [1 favorite]


Vampires and Werewolves making out, no ones done that, right?
posted by Artw at 7:30 AM on May 19, 2009


I'm pretty certain Bad Taste cost more than 45 quid.
posted by Artw at 7:30 AM on May 19, 2009


I wonder if they've made a teen slasher film from the viewpoint of the slasher. I imagine it would probably be a comedy.
posted by WalterMitty at 8:19 AM


Do you mean Student Bodies?
posted by orme at 7:38 AM on May 19, 2009


Didn't Clive Barker write some novel where one of the major characters doesn't realize he's a zombie for like the first quarter of the story? He's tipped off slowly; people reacting to his smell, which he takes for bad hygiene ... loses a body part or two ... has strange cravings, etc.
posted by RavinDave at 7:38 AM on May 19, 2009


...and it turns out it's not really a comedy. At all.
posted by rusty at 7:38 AM on May 19, 2009


RavinDave - The Damnation Game, his first.
posted by Artw at 7:41 AM on May 19, 2009


Someone, a long time ago, wrote a story about a "monster" of sorts, from the perspective of the "monster"–he doesn't know he's a monster, thinks of himself (itself?) as a prisoner, and then escapes and terrifies everyone, eventually learning that he's, you know, a monster. Who wrote that? It's not Poe, is it? It's an older story, from first half of twentieth century, perhaps? Maybe older? Or maybe it's mid-century and deliberately archaic. I've been trying to figure out the name of that story for some time now.
posted by Mister_A at 8:14 AM on May 19, 2009 [1 favorite]


I've been trying to figure out the name of that story for some time now.

I think that was The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down.
posted by DU at 8:19 AM on May 19, 2009 [1 favorite]


Vampires and Werewolves making out, no ones done that, right?

I have. But I was young, and I'm not proud of it.
posted by ford and the prefects at 8:20 AM on May 19, 2009


DU, I've been googling my memory, and the correct answer is:




Ghostbusters 2
posted by Mister_A at 8:22 AM on May 19, 2009 [2 favorites]


I've been watching many ideas straight out of a film I finished filming in 2006 appear in other films for the past three years. When it actually gets finished people are probably going to say I stole all of it.
posted by Poagao at 8:24 AM on May 19, 2009


Mister_A - The Outsider, HP Lovecraft.
posted by Artw at 8:57 AM on May 19, 2009 [1 favorite]


Heh, on preview I see Artw has the answer, but I see I wasn't far from it before preview:

Mister_A, I've read that story as well. IIRC it ended with the monster finally escaping it's prison(locked in a basement, I think) and following a girl it fancied into a ballroom where it saw it's reflection in a mirror and realized just what it was. I remember it being really effective.
I can't remember who wrote it, possibly Lovecraft, but I'm pretty sure it was Clark Ashton Smith. I'm reading synopses from his stories now, trying to see if something jumps out at me.
posted by aldurtregi at 8:59 AM on May 19, 2009


Thanks Art!
posted by Mister_A at 9:08 AM on May 19, 2009


The text.
posted by Mister_A at 9:09 AM on May 19, 2009


Huh, here I thought you were sarcastically pointing out Frankenstein.
posted by kmz at 9:22 AM on May 19, 2009 [2 favorites]


There's a similar Richard Matheson one that's pretty famous as well.
posted by Artw at 9:26 AM on May 19, 2009


Oh yeah, Frankenstein for sure fits the bill too. The Outsider was the story I was thinking. Shocker that I didn't realise it was Lovecraft! I generally go all gibbous and rugose over Lovecraft.
posted by Mister_A at 9:35 AM on May 19, 2009


Don't forget squamous, Mister_A. You can't really be gibbous and rugose without being squamous as well. It just stands to reason.
posted by aldurtregi at 9:40 AM on May 19, 2009 [1 favorite]


The Matheson one I was thinking of was Born of Man and Woman, which is actually pretty different.
posted by Artw at 9:43 AM on May 19, 2009


45 quid, eh? But what is the true cost of this film? Have they calculated the carbon footprint of this production?

Don't forget your cyclopean masonry. And your eldritch (whatever).
posted by asfuller at 9:56 AM on May 19, 2009


You lot are gettin' all non-Euclidean on me. Furthermore, congeries.
posted by Mister_A at 9:58 AM on May 19, 2009


> Someone, a long time ago, wrote a story about a "monster" of sorts, from the perspective of the "monster"–

American Werewolf in London?
posted by ardgedee at 10:02 AM on May 19, 2009


I always find it funny how in writing "Lovecraftian" means creeping dread and a subtle sense that something is fundamentally wrong with the universe, and in film it means "zombie splatterfest with possible bondage".
posted by Artw at 10:11 AM on May 19, 2009


What does one make of the fact that I enjoy 'em both?
posted by Mister_A at 10:12 AM on May 19, 2009


It probably means you were a teenager at a certain time in the 80s.
posted by Artw at 10:18 AM on May 19, 2009


It's like you know me!
posted by Mister_A at 10:18 AM on May 19, 2009


And your eldritch (whatever).

Doesn't that mean oblong?
posted by Faint of Butt at 11:15 AM on May 19, 2009


Squamous was like, H.P. Lovecraft's favorite word. Just read The Dunwitch Horror.
posted by dunkadunc at 11:21 AM on May 19, 2009


It means "like skin cancer".
posted by Artw at 11:30 AM on May 19, 2009


Zombies are the new bacon.

Bleah. I just lost my appetite.
posted by GuyZero at 11:37 AM on May 19, 2009


"Now, as to the cover I’m REALLY making fun of, you gotta love this Blackest Night: Titans cover… Ed Benes is so committed to ass shots that he’ll even do them for zombies."
posted by Artw at 11:42 AM on May 19, 2009


Artw: Why do you hate my eyes?
posted by The Whelk at 11:49 AM on May 19, 2009


Hah! A zombie and a vulcan!
posted by Mister_A at 11:50 AM on May 19, 2009


Why do I get the feeling that Metafilter in the middle of the day is just me, Artw, Mister_A, and DU posting comic book links and swapping Simpsons quotes?
posted by The Whelk at 11:53 AM on May 19, 2009 [2 favorites]


I've been trying to figure out the name of that story for some time now.

Citizen Kane?
posted by BrotherCaine at 11:55 AM on May 19, 2009


A zombie movie from the perspective of a vampire might be interesting. I mean, here you are, classy, uptown version of the undead, when all these low rent shambling bastards come in here, making you look bad and the humans put on the IR goggles and start shooting you in the head. Twould suck bualls i twould.
This looks interesting. I dislike the gore for gore's sake stuff though. It's sort of like the establishing shots of "The Police Station" or "They get in the car and drive away." Though I suppose the gore is part of the appeal.
posted by Smedleyman at 12:51 PM on May 19, 2009


Gore for gore's sake? You mean Splatter Film?
posted by dunkadunc at 1:03 PM on May 19, 2009


nah, not specifically. There's some overlap. But just certain shots. Compare 28 days to Dawn of the Dead (original Romero version as well as the remake), say. Different focus and feel.
I'm not saying one is better or worse. Just certain, ok, splatter elements, there.
I'm pretty inured to gore, so to me it's more of a "and here's this" to me and if it lingers too long on it, I get a little bored.
Much like when directors put "and here's our characters walking into the bank" sort of thing. Too much of it and you waste a lot of time on exposition. In some cases, in the case of some gore, that is, perhaps, the point. And it can be done well. For a number of effects. This looks a bit more for shock value, judging solely from the trailer. Nothing wrong with that. I just appreciate the other elements of zombie films (black humor, et.al) and this appears to have plenty of that as well. So no big.
posted by Smedleyman at 2:49 PM on May 19, 2009


There's a similar Richard Matheson one that's pretty famous as well.

I thought you meant I Am Legend there for a second.
posted by P.o.B. at 2:59 PM on May 19, 2009


Well, in I Am Legend

...SPOILER...

The shock ending is that MAN IS THE REAL MONSTER!

...unless we are talking about the movie version in which case the ending has Akiva Goldsman and Will Smith taking dumps on a copy of the book, wiping their asses on wads of cash and then running around naked, or so I'm told, I never saw the filthy thing.
posted by Artw at 3:07 PM on May 19, 2009


I think that was the plot to the Chuck Heston one also.
posted by P.o.B. at 3:17 PM on May 19, 2009


How about the classics? Not 100% from the perspective of the monster, but pretty close to it - An American Werewolf In London. And a fine movie it is too, definitely the best Landis has ever done.

Saying it was made for X, with X being something absurdly low, is just lame marketing. This trick worked spectacularly for Robert Rodriguez and "El Mariachi" "made for $7000", so well in fact, that the $7000 figure is still cited without winking by folks who should know better. That set off a race to the bottom with absurd numbers tossed around, and it remains absolutely meaningless. In fact, you can take it to its logical conclusion and say "made for $0", and then move even further "they paid me to make it", at which point I say "welcome to Hollywood".

The only thing that matters is how good the product is, how well it connects with the microzeitgeist of the moment, and how well you can market it. The "made for X" is entirely the last item on the list - marketing. And I see the makers of this thing are doing their best to market. And the Zombie thing still connects with the public, amazingly enough. How good is the product though?
posted by VikingSword at 3:31 PM on May 19, 2009


GuyZero: Zombies are the new bacon.

You realize, of course, the genius mefite who one day finds a way to combine the two by far most popular subjects of discussion on the Blue as an FPP will be King of Metafilter (with Matt's blessing I'm sure).

And I have experimented and brainstormed and spent hours, days, months even to find someway, SOME BLOODY WAY to do it. Instant "best of the web" it would be, but it can't be done, man. I'm telling you, IT CAN'T BE DONE!!111 THEY CANCEL EACH OTHER OUT!!11!!! NO ONE WANTS TO THINK ABOUT BACON WHILE THEY"RE WATCHING A ZOMBIE MOVIE OR TALK ABOUT ZOMBIES SUCKING DOWN ON BRAIN PULP, WHILE THEY'RE MUNCHING ON A DELISCIOUS BACON LETTUCE AND TOMATO SAMDWICH.

*Pounds table, shakes fist at laptop, scrunches up face, grits teeth with frustration. Leaves to make a bacon samdwich.*
posted by Skygazer at 3:47 PM on May 19, 2009 [1 favorite]


HP Lovecraft did a story about zombie salt...
posted by Artw at 3:49 PM on May 19, 2009


I Am Legend? The Will Smith commercial? I suppose if you consider marketing a monster.
posted by Smedleyman at 3:49 PM on May 19, 2009


There has got to be a clause in Will Smith's contract that states he takes of his shirt at least once in every movie he makes.
posted by P.o.B. at 4:08 PM on May 19, 2009


Skygazer: Zombie bacon haiku and t-shirt?

I tried...
posted by Captain Cardanthian! at 5:01 PM on May 19, 2009


*Bacon zombie, excuse me.
posted by Captain Cardanthian! at 5:02 PM on May 19, 2009


I think Will Smith has a fetish for seeing how many movie franchises he can screw up. He's the Ted McGinley of movies.
posted by RavinDave at 8:36 PM on May 19, 2009


There had, it seems, been some truth in chimerical old Borellus when he wrote of preparing from even the most antique remains certain "Essential Saltes" from which the shade of a long-dead living thing might be raised up. There was a formula for evoking such a shade, and another for putting it down; and it had now been so perfected that it could be taught successfully. One must be careful about evocations, for the markers of old graves are not always accurate.

Lovecraftian Bacon Zombies - I'm telling you, it's the future.
posted by Artw at 10:42 PM on May 19, 2009 [1 favorite]


You realize, of course, the genius mefite who one day finds a way to combine the two by far most popular subjects of discussion on the Blue as an FPP will be King of Metafilter (with Matt's blessing I'm sure).

And I have experimented and brainstormed and spent hours, days, months even to find someway, SOME BLOODY WAY to do it. Instant "best of the web" it would be,


Just convince JJ Abrams, Uwe Boll, and David Simon to make a mini-series of skits on the Colbert Report about 2 teams of zombies fighting over bacon.

Make one of the teams gay zombie ninjas who quote The Wire and the other team atheist zombie pirates who "don't get this whole Twitter thing" to make everyone conflicted about which team to root for.

Take it a step further and have the into reveal that one team supports Israel and the other Palestine but never say which team support which side.

Figure out a way to make 5 cents every time it gets linked on a site or blog and 1 cent each time someone makes a comment about it.

Die a rich man.
posted by hamida2242 at 10:44 PM on May 19, 2009 [2 favorites]


BTW, the always bonkers Al Ewing has a book called I, Zombie, about a zombie PI, which is by all accounts both weird and awesome.
posted by Artw at 10:46 PM on May 19, 2009 [1 favorite]


Saying it was made for X, with X being something absurdly low, is just lame marketing. This trick worked spectacularly for Robert Rodriguez and "El Mariachi" "made for $7000", so well in fact, that the $7000 figure is still cited without winking by folks who should know better. That set off a race to the bottom with absurd numbers tossed around, and it remains absolutely meaningless.

See also: Nirvana's first album.
posted by kersplunk at 6:13 AM on May 20, 2009


A zombie movie from the perspective of a vampire might be interesting.

There was a book, movie or graphic novel where the story was that there had been a zombie apocalypse and a group of vampires had to protect the last humans on earth. I don't remember anything else about it though, as I hate zombies and avoid anything zombie related.
posted by nooneyouknow at 7:13 AM on May 20, 2009


noonyouknow - It was called Last Blood. Totally awesome comic.
posted by domo at 8:16 AM on May 20, 2009


Last Blood is free online.
posted by P.o.B. at 2:03 PM on May 20, 2009


No wait...wait...I got it! Someone could make a zombie movie where instead of the Zombies trying to eat brains...they're shufflin' as fast as they, casting a wary eye back every once in a while at the horde of MEfites chasing them down with condiments and othe samdwich fixins knives because the zombies are made out of bacon and PEOPLE WANT TO CUT THEM UP AND MAKE DELISCIOUS BACON SANDWICHES FROM THEIR BODY PARTS. BECAUSE THEY"RE MADE OUT OF FRESH BACON!!!11!!! The ZOMBIES ARE THE BACON!!1 GET IT!!!?

It would be like a reverse zombie film, where you'd be rooting for the poor smoked bacon-y zombies cos EVERYONE WANTS TO EAT EM!!!


Oh come on. You guys are shakin' your heads right now going like EEEEWWWWWW!!! Noooo WAaaYYY, DDUUUUDEE!! But you know and I know that if the zombies tasted like fresh cooked bacon you'd be pigging out on the zombie bacon flesh like champion zombie brain eaters.
posted by Skygazer at 5:57 PM on May 20, 2009


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