Every Person is Capable of Being the World's Best "Something"

June 20, 2009 6:52 PM

"The whole dream is that everybody has a world record in them," said Dan Rollman, president and co-founder of the Brooklyn-based Universal Record Database. Since the site went live last fall, more than 1,000 feats have been documented - ranging from the most binder clips on a face (now up to 34) to the longest toenail (seven-eighths of an inch) to the most whoopee cushions sat on without smiling or laughing (presently up to 18), and a few records involving mustaches (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6). Beyond the basics of setting records, the URDB is based on three principles: 1. Honesty and accuracy are pretty much everything, 2. Don't hurt yourself. Don't hurt others. Don't hurt the planet, and 3. Waste sucks.

Before you submit your record, don't forget to check the rules. If you're thinking of setting a video game or pinball record, check Twin Galaxies first (pre-vi-ous-ly-er). URDB was discussed before, and Dan Rollman joined the thread, noting that the Guinness Book of World Records was great for certain records, but "their model has become outdated in a Web 2.0 world."

posted by filthy light thief (22 comments total)

Keeping with the Web 2.0, URDB is on Flickr and Facebook.
posted by filthy light thief at 6:56 PM on June 20

I'm tied for first place in "Most Records Not Held".
posted by Malor at 6:57 PM on June 20 [3 favorites has favorites]

I'm concerned that I may become addicted to setting world records.
posted by Kickstart70 at 7:06 PM on June 20

I can beat that 34 binder clips on the face. That guy's not even trying. You could get at least one more on the bridge of the nose, probably two or three more if you use your nostrils properly, and it looks like he's not utilizing his lips to maximum effect. Then an extra large binder on the chin. And at least one more each per ear (on the tragus).

I AM UNIMPRESSED
posted by Flunkie at 7:13 PM on June 20

I'm thinking of attempting a new record myself.
posted by heyho at 7:15 PM on June 20

I'm concerned that I may become addicted to setting world records.

That's the thing about this site vs. Guinness records: on URDB, you could make up your own record, like Fastest Pronounciation [sp] Of The Word "Fresh" While Holding A Watermelon, or Longest Pronunciation of the Word "Fresh" While Wearing a Catcher's Mask, Sunglasses and Holding a Blue, Helium-Filled Balloon. Add a variable, and you have new record!
posted by filthy light thief at 7:27 PM on June 20

I'm tied for first place in "Most Records Not Held".

Good news, Malor, you're doing better every day! Unless you actually break a record.
posted by filthy light thief at 7:35 PM on June 20

Heh. I took part in the world record attempt for most ukuleles playing a song together yesterday. The previous record was set in Sweden, I believe, with something like 401. You don't know fun until you've heard people of all ages on 851 ukes singing Sloop John B together at the tops of their voices. Take that, Stockholm!
posted by RokkitNite at 9:05 PM on June 20 [1 favorite has favorites]

Or you could be that guy, and only compete to one-up someone else's established record...
posted by Wild_Eep at 9:23 PM on June 20

Or you could be that guy, and only compete to one-up someone else's established record...

So we have to accept the first mediocre record that was set to be the benchmark of someone's special little talent until the end of time? Fuck that. You and your record are not special and unique, and you are certainly not above competitive reproach. If I'm better at it than you, suck it up and deal with it.
posted by nudar at 11:46 PM on June 20 [1 favorite has favorites]

"The whole dream is that everybody has a world record in them,"

Since the site went live last fall, more than 1,000 feats have been documented

1,000 down, 6,790,061,216 to go.
posted by Authorized User at 12:19 AM on June 21

None of the URDB links are working for me. Did you sons of bitches break the site before I could get to it? Motherfuck.
posted by Captain Cardanthian! at 12:27 AM on June 21

Do I want to see a picture of the world record holder for most failed world record attempts?
posted by BrotherCaine at 1:39 AM on June 21

I am holder of The Most Appropriate Posting to metafilter.com by a User Whose First Name Starts With an S on Sunday 21 Jun 2009 05:31:00 EDT
posted by scruss at 2:31 AM on June 21 [1 favorite has favorites]

... oh, and Rollman is the perpetual holder of Founder of a Records Organization Least Likely to be Shot for Nutso Right Wing Views.
posted by scruss at 2:43 AM on June 21

scruss: Founder of a Records Organization Least Likely to be Shot

Ross McWhirter was the one that was assassinated, not Norris.

Wild_Eep: Or you could be that guy, and only compete to one-up someone else's established record...

Oh, god forbid! Isn't "breaking someone else's established record" kind of, you know, the whole point? Otherwise it's just so much masturbation, and the site might as well be twitter -- "I ate six hot dogs today."
posted by Doofus Magoo at 7:10 AM on June 21

(I stand corrected, Doofus Magoo; in fact, I definitely (currently) hold the world record for being wrong about Ross McWhirter on metafilter on Father's Day 2009.)
posted by scruss at 7:14 AM on June 21

Make that joke a few more times, scruss, and you'll break the... fuck.
posted by box at 8:28 AM on June 21

I kinda like this idea, because as surprising as it may seem there are records that Guinness doesn't want/care about. The one thing I'm not so sure about is the whole "make up arbitrary conditions" bit.
posted by pyrex at 10:33 AM on June 21

Follow your dreams.
posted by gorgor_balabala at 11:14 AM on June 21

Do I want to see a picture of the world record holder for most failed world record attempts?

Paging Mr. Wes Anderson. Paging Mr. Wes Anderson. Your new main character is ready and waiting for you in the White Room.
posted by The Whelk at 12:22 PM on June 21

In my line of work I come across toenails that put that one to shame pretty much every single day.
posted by makonan at 9:15 PM on June 21