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Penis information
August 12, 2009 7:32 AM   Subscribe

Possibly NSFW: The human penis, its life cycle, size and myths about it, why it looks like that, what can go wrong with it and last but not least, the anatomy.
posted by Brandon Blatcher (72 comments total) 19 users marked this as a favorite

 
Something on your mind Brandon?
posted by The Whelk at 7:33 AM on August 12, 2009 [7 favorites]


Only possibly NSFW?
posted by aheckler at 7:35 AM on August 12, 2009


Finally, some places on the internet where one can view human reproductive organs.
posted by DU at 7:38 AM on August 12, 2009 [22 favorites]


Could have titled this "I am Joe's Penis", 'cuz I don't think Reader's Digest did that one!
posted by HuronBob at 7:39 AM on August 12, 2009


Christ, what a dick.
posted by ElmerFishpaw at 7:39 AM on August 12, 2009 [2 favorites]


I love those Wikipedia amateur images of a "typical penis". Somewhere, some exhibitionist with a good camera has managed to get millions of people to look at his dick, every day.
posted by Nelson at 7:41 AM on August 12, 2009 [6 favorites]


Only possibly NSFW?

Some people freelance.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 7:45 AM on August 12, 2009 [1 favorite]


Flagged as double
posted by trueluk at 7:48 AM on August 12, 2009 [2 favorites]


I'd flag a Siamese dick too.
posted by Christ, what an asshole at 7:50 AM on August 12, 2009


Thanks to the 'myths about it' link:

Metafilter: a condition called micropenis
posted by robocop is bleeding at 7:51 AM on August 12, 2009


Penis!
posted by Danf at 7:54 AM on August 12, 2009


I feel like I've just been tricked into reading WebMD articles about penises.
posted by iamkimiam at 7:59 AM on August 12, 2009


What are you laughing at? The joke is in your hands.
posted by Meatbomb at 8:00 AM on August 12, 2009


Also, sometimes they are inside a chicken.
posted by The Whelk at 8:15 AM on August 12, 2009


8=======D
posted by nitsuj at 8:16 AM on August 12, 2009


Is this where the dicks hang out?
posted by stinkycheese at 8:24 AM on August 12, 2009


secretly obsessing over the length of this thread.
posted by shmegegge at 8:24 AM on August 12, 2009 [1 favorite]


Life Cycle of a Penis


The man, the legend, the Broadway musical...
posted by Skygazer at 8:35 AM on August 12, 2009


Only possibly NSFW?

Some people freelance.


And some people are urologists.

(I'm neither but I'm in a conference room by myself so managed to look. Yay dicks!
posted by MCMikeNamara at 8:41 AM on August 12, 2009


The worst break of my life
posted by donovan at 8:42 AM on August 12, 2009 [1 favorite]


Can't seem to find them on iTunes. What's the name of their album?
posted by Burhanistan at 8:44 AM on August 12, 2009


One recent study involving 2,213 men in Olmstead County, Minn., showed significant declines in erectile function, libido, and ejaculatory function -- but only moderate decreases in sexual satisfaction

...and there goes the real estate market in Olmstead County, Minn.
posted by Skygazer at 8:46 AM on August 12, 2009 [3 favorites]


Two guys are walking across the Golden Gate Bridge together. At the middle they both stop and begin peeing off the side of the bridge.

One turns to the other and says "waters cold."

The other replies "deep too."
posted by pianomover at 9:09 AM on August 12, 2009 [4 favorites]


A penis is considered abnormally small only if it measures less than 3 inches (7.6cm) when erect, a condition called micropenis.

Seriously? That's what they call it? They couldn't possibly think of a more positive euphemism like the way they call baby cow "veal" or something? Was Justkillyourselfnowitis taken?
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 9:14 AM on August 12, 2009 [12 favorites]


Is this where the dicks hang out?
posted by stinkycheese at 11:24 AM on August 12 [+] [!]

Talk about your low-hanging fruit.

posted by Combustible Edison Lighthouse at 9:18 AM on August 12, 2009 [1 favorite]


Only possibly NSFW?

Some of us work for organizations that disseminate (ha ha ha!) sexual health information. And we're working from home today!
posted by rtha at 9:20 AM on August 12, 2009


Use it or lose it.
posted by ethnomethodologist at 9:22 AM on August 12, 2009


The man, the legend, the Broadway musical...
posted by The Whelk at 9:27 AM on August 12, 2009


I love those Wikipedia amateur images of a "typical penis". Somewhere, some exhibitionist with a good camera has managed to get millions of people to look at his dick, every day.

This problem is so common that Wikimedia Commons has a no-penis icon used specifically to warn that Wikimedia Commons does not generally require user-submitted images of their own penises.
posted by mkb at 9:46 AM on August 12, 2009 [2 favorites]


Indeed, nopenis.svg.
posted by ikalliom at 10:00 AM on August 12, 2009 [2 favorites]


Boyzone!

Micropenis rejection song
posted by notashroom at 10:00 AM on August 12, 2009


The penis mightier than the sword.
posted by seanmpuckett at 10:08 AM on August 12, 2009 [3 favorites]


I love those Wikipedia amateur images of a "typical penis". Somewhere, some exhibitionist with a good camera has managed to get millions of people to look at his dick, every day.
posted by Nelson at 10:41 AM on August 12

This problem is so common that Wikimedia Commons has a no-penis icon used specifically to warn that Wikimedia Commons does not generally require user-submitted images of their own penises.
posted by mkb at 12:46 PM on August 12


Based on those two comments, I'm requesting a clean-up in aisle 'semen'.
posted by Pastabagel at 10:18 AM on August 12, 2009


Can we not have a serious conversation about penises? A truly meaningful, deep dicking?
posted by psylosyren at 10:29 AM on August 12, 2009


The penis mightier than the sword.

Why does everybody laugh at my Mighty Sword?
posted by Devils Rancher at 10:36 AM on August 12, 2009 [2 favorites]


I prefer The penis mightier over the sword, myself.
posted by The Whelk at 10:47 AM on August 12, 2009




Ay mon! Welcome to Jamaica!
posted by Severian at 11:33 AM on August 12, 2009


This is funny because just this morning, I saw my cat's tiny, pointy penis and said, "HAHA! YOU HAVE A TINY, POINTY PENIS!" He just glanced up at me and gave me a look which clearly said, "it may be tiny, but at least I can lick it". Little bastard.
posted by Cat Pie Hurts at 11:39 AM on August 12, 2009 [6 favorites]


Eponhyst-wait, what?
posted by The Whelk at 11:42 AM on August 12, 2009


Tater; that is all.
posted by adamvasco at 12:06 PM on August 12, 2009


Double. (Double penis.)
posted by longsleeves at 12:08 PM on August 12, 2009


...Penis information

...user-submitted images of their own penises

Metaphorically speaking, most posts and more comments are...
posted by y2karl at 12:34 PM on August 12, 2009


This Wikipedia graph is rather, ah, evocative.
posted by Halloween Jack at 12:46 PM on August 12, 2009 [3 favorites]


The uh .....long tail, so to speak.
posted by The Whelk at 1:06 PM on August 12, 2009 [1 favorite]


From the first link:

> between the ages of 40 and 70, the percentage of potent men falls from 60% to roughly 30%, studies show.

Anyone else find this profoundly depressing? Only 60% at age 40???
posted by fcummins at 1:12 PM on August 12, 2009


The worst break of my life

Call me squeamish, but I refuse to click that link.
posted by BoatMeme at 1:23 PM on August 12, 2009


between the ages of 40 and 70, the percentage of potent men falls from 60% to roughly 30%, studies show.

Sounds like a reality show: Penis Survivor. 80 year old Frank is still standing tall, having shaken off the doping allegations, but how long can keep this up?
posted by msalt at 1:51 PM on August 12, 2009 [3 favorites]




I don't mean to pri(apus)
posted by ZenMasterThis at 3:51 PM on August 12, 2009


Huh? What's special and best-of-the-web about these links?
posted by agregoli at 4:48 PM on August 12, 2009


Nothing, but I wonder what will happen if this post gets deleted. I mean seriously, 2 WebMD links, a Wikipedia page, a previous MeFi post and I forget what that last one was (can't click on NSFW links right now), but I think it was a product info page.
posted by iamkimiam at 5:02 PM on August 12, 2009


I'm going to be a bit dumbfounded if it doesn't get deleted.
posted by agregoli at 5:08 PM on August 12, 2009


Dare I say, I'm surprised its stayed up as long as it has.
posted by iamkimiam at 6:49 PM on August 12, 2009 [5 favorites]


I feel moved to gently remind this thread of my own contribution to penisology from way back in 2005.
posted by jokeefe at 7:17 PM on August 12, 2009 [1 favorite]


The entire web felt heavy and turgid today. Limp. Unable to respond. I tried my best but this day has been all floppy and unsatifying, no matter how hard I pushed.
posted by The Whelk at 7:21 PM on August 12, 2009


The worst break of my life

Call me squeamish, but I refuse to click that link.


You're squeamish. The link is fairly lighthearted though (considering) and informative. However, I'll never think of eggplant the same way again.
posted by metagnathous at 7:39 PM on August 12, 2009


I also wonder why this silly stunt dick post is still here. Are we going to have one tomorrow about testicles?
posted by Burhanistan at 7:49 PM on August 12, 2009


If so, it better be twice as good!
posted by iamkimiam at 9:31 PM on August 12, 2009 [1 favorite]


Penises: They are about >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>this<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
big. Now can we PLEASE, as a culture, move on?
posted by crossoverman at 10:37 PM on August 12, 2009


It's not a stunt post. If you have problems with it, could you take it to Metatalk rather than bitching repeatedly here 'bout it?
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 10:41 PM on August 12, 2009


Meta.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 11:13 PM on August 12, 2009


NSFW: Edward Penishands (1991). Starring Nikki Sixx, of Motley Crüe.
posted by not_on_display at 11:28 PM on August 12, 2009


"Could have titled this 'I am Joe's Penis', "cuz I don't think Reader's Digest did that one!"

I wonder. They did have some articles titled I am Jane's Foo for when Joe couldn't be expect to be the owner's name.
posted by Mitheral at 12:54 AM on August 13, 2009


No apologies for length? I'm disappointed.
posted by Molesome at 3:38 AM on August 13, 2009


It's more about the width.
posted by The Whelk at 3:47 AM on August 13, 2009


Best of the Web! Thanks for posting these awesome links. Only on MetaFilter can I find such great pictures and commentary.
posted by RussHy at 5:09 AM on August 13, 2009 [1 favorite]


"One way I motivate my overweight patients is by telling them that they can appear to gain up to an inch in size simply by losing weight."

Sweet, I'm gonna go cut my legs off!
posted by Demogorgon at 9:55 AM on August 13, 2009 [2 favorites]


Penises: They are about
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>this<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
big.



[presses cmd+plus, nods in agreement]


An aburdly wrong width, though.

Here, try this:


>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>ohmymy<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
posted by five fresh fish at 1:50 PM on August 13, 2009


BTW, what do you call a circumcision done with pinking shears?

A frilly dilly.

[ba-dum, ting]

Sorry.
posted by five fresh fish at 1:51 PM on August 13, 2009


Thanks for the visuals FFF. Now, if you'll excuse me, I think I'm going to go open a vein.
posted by Skygazer at 12:38 PM on August 14, 2009


Meta.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 2:13 AM on August 13 [+] [!]


A Meta call out over a Penis FPP? Can it get any better than that. I think not. Unless of course we can work zombies into this somehow.

Happily scurries over to MetaTalk....*
posted by Skygazer at 12:41 PM on August 14, 2009


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